Tag: personal development

Designing Clothing That Fluctuates With You

This is inspired by a discussion from Maybe Bre, which made me reflect on something I hadn’t discussed before. As well as my own experience wearing clothing, as a garden-variety human who loves fashion but doesn’t always enjoy how our clothing is made.

By this, I mean the patterns and fastening of our modern times. The zipper is a wonderful thing, and so is the structured waistband. I love them in jeans because denim that isn’t compromised by stretch is a rugged and sturdy garment that isn’t a piece that conforms to you; your body is housed within the trousers. I feel the same way about a structured coat. In doing so, I buy these pieces oversized for comfort, which leaves me with a garment that most of the time doesn’t technically fit me. If I did buy it to fit me right now, there is no guarantee that over many decades it would continue to fit me – I’ve been burned before by this problem. Hence, all my “staple, investment pieces” from college no longer live in my closet because they are no longer my size. If I had planned ahead and bought them a bit oversized, they might still be with me, but they wouldn’t have “fit” me at the time.

My problem with clothing is becoming clear, isn’t it? I desire longevity and wearability from clothing, in a way that is not offered off the rack. I desire my clothes to grow and shrink with me, depending on how my body changes over time. This has been my design focus in the last few years as I have placed myself in the driver’s seat of my wardrobe through the process of sewing and knitting.

My idea is not innovative; it is historical. Clothing, because it was so expensive and hard to make, was more adaptable in the past. Fastenings such as tie waist, lacing, and buttons with multiple sizes of tightness were common because clothing was not as easy or cheap, and they were not seen as disposable or replaceable. Changing fashions came with garment reworks, ye olde upcycling as it were. This is what I desire: the ability to change the fit of my garment.

I recently figured out how to sew with elastic, which is a game-changer for shorts and gathered sleeve hems! Before this, though, I was making most of my bottomweight garments with tie waists or several options of buttons to let the garment adjust to the needs of the day, I’ve also sewed with intentional relaxed fit, initially due to a lack of tailoring skill but over time it has been to allow wiggle room in pieces I have spent days or weeks of my life crafting.

Being present in the making process has taught me to treat my clothing with more respect, even when it is time to discard the current version of it for something more useful. I’ve stopped donating as much, decluttering, and rebuying, to be honest, to be more intentional with the garment and its life cycle. I am the one who brought it to life, I can’t simply consume and discard it like it is nothing. I am deprogramming my brain from decades of fast fashion insanity.

I believe if clothing were made with this design philosophy, that clothing would fluctuate with you over time, I believe we would enjoy wearing our clothing more because instead of buying stretch fabric everything, we could still wear good natural fibers, maybe a bit bulkier than spandex and less figure hugging and lurex denim, but would be better for the humans and the planet. Style and substance, as they say on the Great British Baking Show!

Finding That Spark After a Creative Slump

A few months ago, I wrote about my 2025 being a creative slump. Well, things have changed, and now  I’d say I’ve found my pace. It’s a dash! I have more ideas than my hands can craft and it feels freeing, like all the crap from the past few months have lifted and the world makes sense, as long as it is crafted from needles.

New Materials

Maybe it’s the new yarns? I’ve been branching out to find new brands and new favorites. Loops and Threads cotton has provided an affordable fiber to try new techniques and play around. The Caron Big Cakes and Blossom Cakes are getting me excited for every stitch, and Knit Picks Pima Cotton has been a dream to work with.

With the news of Big Twist coming to Michael’s, I’m excited to have my tried and true affordable winter yarn to keep pushing my creative limits.

The most exciting new fiber, though, is a recent pickup from my local farmer’s market. A skein of yarn, from sheep in my neighboring county, that was processed and spun over the border in Ohio. It’s not quite the LYS I was wishing for, but it makes me hopeful for the future!

DIY Merch with Yarn

The North American leg of the 2025 Stray Kids Dominate Tour made me feel some big FOMO for the unique merch sold at the shows. From the SKZ Baseball jerseys to the Evil Skzoo tees, dang, I wanted to participate, until I heard the stories of long hot lines at the baseball stadiums and endless screechers, I came back to reality. But – it got me thinking, why can’t I make my own? So I’ve been designing, knitting, and feeling a buzz of happiness because these pieces are some of my best work to date. I can’t wait to share them!

Kokka Fabrics and Firecracker Fabrics

I’ve found new fabric sources and new go-to brands I love. In support of small businesses, I made a purchase from a local fabric store – Firecracker Fabrics, online, because honestly, it is far too difficult to go into Pittsburgh in road work season. Through this purchase, I fulfilled a goal – to try Kokka Fabrics. They are a textile design brand out of Japan, which is sold at my local shop, and it was a dream to work with! With the bad news of Joann’s and the uncertainty of tariffed materials, to be honest, I was thinking my sewing days would be cut short, but this is a fantastic resource. It was affordable, good quality, and unique – all the things I look for in fabrics but have struggled to find at Joann’s, which made me shop at Mood Fabrics. Now I have another option!

I also thrifted some fabric from my in-town thrift store, truly unique fabric that has pushed me forward to try making shorts again and overalls. For not sewing as quickly this year, the garments I have completed are more daring, and I think that is the new materials and new techniques, like elastic, that are pushing me to design more than just sew. I feel like I am back in my 2021 mindset, and I am ready to make clothes that express my design point of view. I lost that in 2023 and got burnt out in 2024, yet a six-month break got me back into it. Maybe that is one good thing that has come from the chaos – a break to reset.

New Inspiration

I’ve found inspiration from K-pop stages and historical sewing channels up to this point, but it was getting stale. Nothing was sparking that drive to create, until recently, when I found some new making channels. I like to watch other people make things, not to copy, but to learn by observing and then channel what I learn into my own inspirations, such as learning how to embroider, make eyelet openings for corset-ish vests, upcycling ideas, etc. A recent find has been Maybe Bre’s channel with her “Mama Mia Summer” video, inspiring me to make overalls. Mark Vogel’s channel has me itching to learn crochet after seeing his granny square vest, and finally Kali’s Threads/Handmade with Kaye – these sisters are innovative. I didn’t know I wanted to wear a crochet polo button shirt until I saw Kali’s finished garment; it’s beautiful!

Final Thoughts

Sometimes we need a break. Sometimes we need limitations to make us push forward in our goals. Sometimes a change of pace helps rediscover our passion. I’ve started gauge swatching, pattern writing, and looking for pieces I think I should make to enhance my wardrobe that are more fun, less functional. It’s weird how the creative process, when you hit a slump, can convince you of a lack of talent. When really, maybe your cup is empty? Or in my case, maybe you have lost your spark because you needed to raise your standard and make new, challenging projects to ignite your passion again. Until next time, thanks, reader, for spending time with me today. Happy creating to you! 🙂

Ideas for Summer Stashbusting Projects

As a yarn enthusiast, sometimes I have many skeins of different yarn that I don’t know what to do with. This happens when I buy sale yarn, find unexpected yarn secondhand, or buy too much of one color for a project. Purchasing the right yardage is definitely a learning process!

So, how can you make your yarn stash go further and use up those skeins you don’t know what to do with? An easy fix I’ve found is to get really scrappy, lean into stripes, experiment with colorwork, and my new favorite – blending yarn by holding two strands of different yarn, even variegated yarn, to make something fresh and inspiring! This has helped me need to destash, donate, or feel weighed down by my yarn inventory.

Once you have a color story, what do you stitch up? There are the tried and true tanks, tote bags, and scrappy cardigans, but what about something outside the box?

  • Baskets
  • Small Storage Bags with Zipper
  • Shorts
  • Sailor Collar
  • Overalls
  • Mini Skirts
  • Koozies
  • Tapestry

I get stuck in the idea of knitting as wearables, but it can be used to make so many things, and at the end of the project, you’ll have something truly unique from your own hands!

One of the most satisfying ways I have found to use up random yarn is colorwork. Hints of color with scrap that add a touch of whimsy? Sign me up!

Knitting a Dress for the First Time

Knitting a dress, how hard can it be right? It was actually pretty managable garment as an intermediate knitter. I would not recommend unless you have made a sweater before but would definitely recommend knitting a dress if you want a soft and stretchy garment that hugs you!

Inspiration

I have made plenty of dresses over the past 5 years, but they have all been cut and sewn from fabric. Knitting kicks it up a notch, asking you to assemble the dress, but make the fabric to boot. I thought it would be silly to try until I discovered some lovely crochet designers on You Tube who make with imagination!

I was inspired by Mama Gwen of TL Yarn Crafts to give designing a knit dress a try. She makes such beautiful dresses all from self-drafted patterns in knit and crochet. Along with Dana from Blondie Knots. Her Coachella scrap two piece outfit helped me have the boost of confidence to try something new.

Materials

Last summer at Joann, before the shenanigans began, I purchased 14 Big Twist Cotton 50g skeins on a sale with the intention of knitting a top. Many months later, this yarn was sitting in my stash with my mind uncertain if the punchy color changing yarn was my cup of tea for a cotton knit top. But a dress? Yes, that could work. Did I have enough yarn though? I’d have to make it so because there was no more being sold.

Because of the circumstances, I decided this dress would be my goodbye to Big Twist.

Design

I knew from sewing, my design would need to be a dress that was either tubular or empire waist to suit my body shape. I decided to knit this on US 7 needles, straight needles. Sometimes I would shift to circular, but this was not knit in the round. With the combination of yarn minders, a measuring tape and patience this dress came together!

To start I knew I wanted the bodice to be the anchor I worked out from so I cast on stitches to work horizontally. From the bodice, I then added one strap to plan the width and placement of the top. I was uncertain how much yardage the skirt would consume, therefore I paused to determine sleeves later.

My plan for the skirt was to knit a section by casting on the bottom of the bodice, adding stitches to increase width until I finished a skein. Repeat and fill out the row by picking up stitches to join the sections vertically into a tube. I continued on, and on  until weeks later I had a skirt but panicked that I was not going to achieve my desired length and second sleeve!

I decided to pull a teal yarn from my Landscape Painting with Yarn project. This hue pulled the cool tones into harmony in a pleasing way. I used two skeins of this teal color and then finished with the original Water Lily tonal yarn. I finished the second sleeve and tried on the piece with relative ease. There was one fit issue – plunging neckline. But it was a lovely, cozy knit from scratch dress!

The final touches to this project were addressing the neckline and the sleeves which were set too deep. I cast on to the neckline to fill in the gap and provided structure to the straps with several rows of decreases to give the dress a cap sleeve befitting my vision.

Final Thoughts

I am definitely making more dresses with knit! It’s far more pleasant than sewing if you want a comfy yet elegant style. You have both control of the drape and the fabric design. It’s your world, as Bob Ross would say.

This project was more than a goodbye to Big Twist, it was a new chapter for me. I began this journey 5 years ago to learn how to make and now I feel empowered by knowing I can make my own clothes, not just with fabric but with skeins of yarn and needles. It has been a wonderful journey of discovery!

If you want to knit a dress, I’d say go for it! If you’re a beginner, make one but not as your first project – you will be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of time this project took. It was weeks of work that as a beginner, would have scared me. In time I know you can do it though! ❤

Playing Animal Crossing Has Improved My Style

As a kid, one of my favorite pastimes was designing. I loved the fashion styling flash games from Lizzie McGuire and My Scene. I designed my own catalog of clothes for a made-up brand with my friends in 4th grade, illustrating with my school supplies and piecing it together with scrap paper. Mary-Kate and Ashley’s movies captured my imagination through their use of clothes to characterize each sister’s personality.

That’s So Raven enveloped me in imagination, not from her psychic abilities, no, Raven Baxter’s closet pulled me in! Raven’s room was a stunner as well, like Zenon Kar’s space station cabin, and my Fashion Polly’s colorful playsets that folded out like Richard Hammond’s caravan. My friends and I discovered shows like What Not To Wear and Trading Spaces, which launched my sketches from clothing brands to interior design. I had a notebook full of room drawings. There were designs with slides, hammock beds, and intricate themes. I drew a Survivor-themed room with a tribal council area on the lower level, an outer space room with circular windows and futuristic lighting, even a beach room with a lofted bed, sunset paint scheme, and a pool placed in the middle of the floor. I wish I knew what happened to these sketches; it’s been such a long time.

When I discovered Animal Crossing in 2020, I was curious what the fuss was about, and later the next year, we bought a Nintendo Switch, opening a world of design I thought was lost to childhood. I was thrilled! Animal Crossing New Horizons debuted in March 2020, and because of the unique time, it had a huge following for its charming island life. You begin your game landing on a deserted island as part of a Nook Inc. Getaway Package, and assist Tom Nook in developing the island with the help of Timmy, Tommy, Dodo Airlines, Blathers, Isabelle, and the villagers who move to the island with you.

But what about the fashion and the home decor? This game first places you in a tent that you upgrade into a house, with subsequent expansions costing large sums, but with a relaxed payment policy. You also gain the ability to design custom things with Nook Mile redemption upgrades, craft unique recipes from resources on the island, and buy items from Nook’s Cranny and clothing items from Able Sisters. A ridiculous amount of my gameplay, even years later, comes from pairing and collecting new clothing items for my character to wear on her adventures. This game loves coordination!

As a player who is well-versed in the Animal Crossing fashion catalog, I wait and anticipate finding my favorite pieces with each new island. The game has four seasons, with clothing corresponding to the season at play, including specialty garments for holidays. Currently, as I play in June, it’s wedding season and Able Sisters is selling traditional Japanese wedding attire, Nook Shopping is selling Father’s Day items, and International Children’s Day pieces, which include a paper crown that is oh so cute!

How has this impacted my own personal style, though? Well, it has brought me back to the mindset of creating a full look. Working from home or working in professional painting at jobsites for most of my adult life has killed the style I used to have. I no longer felt the need to put together a look, but instead I got used to throwing on pieces and wearing things for function, not fashion. But that’s not who I really am, just what the environment of life drifted me into. I was missing intentionality, Animal Crossing lit that spark once again. My little character doesn’t just get dressed to do life; she wears a head-to-toe look with hats, bags, glasses, specialty socks, clever shoes, cute tools, and interestingly paired garments. This game got me out of jeans and a t-shirt, or a hoodie and leggings, because this game has trousers in many fabrics and shapes, shorts in colorful prints, skirts in a bouquet of fancy, coats, hats a plenty, tops that span the seasons – it’s a blast to explore! There are dresses – modern and traditional. I can where a kimono! I change her outfit at least once, maybe three times a session. You can also curate hairstyles and experiment with colors.

This exercise has shown me that pink hair is something I’d like to try. It’s my most-used fashion color. It has inspired me to introduce cute socks of varying heights and weights to my wardrobe, even making some of them. I’ve started wearing hats anytime I leave the house – it pulls the look together! My taste in bags has changed; no longer an option for a sleek purse that looks designer, instead give me a duck bag with feet. I love colorful knitwear, flowing skirts, and shoes that are beyond my comfort zone of boots and Converse. Taking those moments in the game to pair weird combinations together has positively impacted my design sensibility. When I plan a sewing or knitting project, I take into account what I’ve learned from dressing up my character, seeking to inject the whimsy and delightful wares of Animal Crossing into my real-life closet. I’m not the only one; I’ve seen this across Pinterest, YouTube, and Instagram.

But what about interior design? Well, this game not only presents the opportunity to design your house and the island, but you can also download Happy Home Paradise to design vacation homes for clients. This has really challenged me in a fun sandbox way to care about how a room is put together. I’ve become far more intentional about my furniture layout, what types of pieces I want to bring into my space, and how I want to pair pieces for a style that tells a story.

Buying a house last year was the icing on the cake of this new foray into design, as we have painted rooms and dug the garden beds, I’ve felt like it is Animal Crossing come to life. I have this canvas to put my stamp on. Moving from rented landlord-beige homes to a space where we can be colorful, it has shown me that the little details do make a space more welcoming and conducive for creating. The simple act of moving our dining room table from one side of the room to the center, allowing for walkways on either side, has made the room a place I want to be instead of a place I pass through. By filling the empty gaps of cabinets in our kitchen with tables, shelves, and a microwave stand, we have transformed the empty space into a room that feels complete. The simple change of painting my sewing room lavender created an entire mood, a calming and happy vibe that makes me excited to work within those four walls. The garden beds and the screened-in porch have been works of dimension, the outdoor space has useful and designated spaces for us to use that make it more beautiful and purposeful.

I am filled with a sense of possibility again, like the girl who sketched those rooms in a notebook, instead of a person muddling through life. In this time when we feel burned out by AI and stale creativity, it’s been electric to feel the sparks of imagination. The crafting aspect of the game has inspired me to be more creative in my own house. We repurpose, re-finish, and build things in our house from scratch. Because of life’s twists and turns, I have a lot of second-hand pieces that at first felt like a let down, like I was poor, but now I see them as incredibly meaningful items that I have the pleasure of caring for in my home. The game’s customization tools, such as kits for sale or the custom services of Cyrus, demonstrate how a coat of paint truly pulls a room together without buying something new.

Did I think when I purchased Animal Crossing New Horizons that I would see an impact on my own design sensibility? Not at all, but it has been the gift that keeps on giving. It’s an incredibly cozy game, full of wonder that I have grown fond of, year over year. Four years later, I still look forward to running around the island, hunting for recipes, wishing on shooting stars, and besting those pesky Happy Home Academy judges. I hope that I never lose my zeal for dress up and design because it is such a fun little way to relax in this wild and wacky world.

Individuals Without Individuality

What does it mean to be an individual? Are you a person? A sum among parts? An island? A unique person, maybe? What does it mean to do things individually? What does individuality mean to an individual? I really wish this word, and its forms, weren’t so tricky to spell with my slightly dyslexic mind (not formally diagnosed, but it runs in the family). It’s a lot to digest, but this has probably been stewing in my mind for the past year, waiting for me to plate it up.

My culture is incredibly individualistic, and this is expressed in good ways and bad. One good way is that my country is a land of immigrants and indigenous people, meaning there are voices, ideas, and ways of doing things. But when there are people, there are forces of wanting to fit in, wanting to control and suppress, and prescribed ideas of the “best” way. I think this has been at the forefront of my mind because I see a vast amount of content being shared online saying originality is dead, or personal style has been killed by the algorithm. We are all core-ified or aesthetically boxed in, and social media has commodified subcultures. But it’s the internet, critiquing the internet, so we’re of course using broad, and extreme brushstrokes here.

Where my mind has drifted to is the sameness. I see people online discussing the boringness of everything from movies to the same cosmetic procedures, the bland landscape of interior design, and starter pack cliches for “types” of women. There is a sea of Petite Knit patterns, a galaxy of Marvel media that repeat the same formula, reboot television, and romantic tropes pushed by publishers and BookTok to make everything fit nicely in the digital marketing ecosystem. Then we fall into nostalgia, like recession pop, which I found myself listening to the other day, reminiscing about my first summer as a member of Geneva’s painting crew in 2010. Thinking about how different life was before I even had a Facebook.

What we talked about and the memories I made with the women and men of my team were tangible, not digital. We discovered what we liked based on environmental forces, like books assigned in school, books suggested by a friend, etc. Music was discovered and shared by radio play, recommendations from others, and shared playlists that your friend curated, not the music streaming platform or the algorithm. I thought a bit less about my appearance, I mean, in adolescence, you are quite aware, but not as much as the smartphone era has brought attention to the physical image of ourselves. I had fewer pictures, grainier pictures, but more memories. Strong memories are tied to tangible things, like songs, food, books, buildings, and movies. We were all very different from each other, yet we could find commonality, and this is where the gears in my mind started turning.

We were part of a group, but had individuality. Yet, nowadays I feel more like I’m in a void, of no commonality, except for how everyone is into the same things, and wears the same clothes, yet we are not connected, communicating, nor would I even consider that despite our shared things we are on a team or part of a community. It’s hollow.

I think we are missing the point of life. We are not working towards something together. We are not part of communities. We are part of aesthetics. We have become fans not of art or sport but of corporations like Target, Lululemon, Sephora, Stanley, and Tesla. Well, probably not Tesla anymore. Target is also being boycotted, so…anyways. Apple, Alo, Rhode, Kate Spade, Trader Joe’s, Labubu. That’s more 2025, phew. Why are we stanning companies? Why are we considering shopping for a hobby? This is not a way to connect; it is a way to consume and drown in stuff instead of substance. Our roots are becoming so shallow, and our debt is vast; we are plants choked out by the weeds of hyper-individualism. We have let originality become a thing achieved not by character formation and real-life community, but by the path of purchase. Purchases for ourselves. It snuck in so fast, I didn’t realize how the art of gift giving has become a self-care checklist. Yikes! It wasn’t until playing Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing: New Horizons that I was struck by how topsy-turvy my own culture has become. Our priorities are whack, and I believe it has made us lonely, shells, devoid of individual thought, buying our way to “happiness” because all we think about is our individual needs above all. We have forgotten that humans are fulfilled by the relationships and communities we are rooted in. It’s time to break the spell.

Unmasking is Hard

The term “unmasking” was new to me when I first learned of my neurodivergence. I saw it on Pinterest and Instagram, displayed in captions and little relatable memes, but what did it mean?

I felt the full experience of what it means a few nights ago when I was invaded once again by rising anxiety, flooding through my mind, and this pressure, invisible yet firm, closing in on me. I knew deep down that I was close to having a meltdown, from environmental things that a neurotypical would brush off. I also knew that I couldn’t melt down; it wasn’t safe to be me. I couldn’t stim, that would be looked down upon with pity. I had to put on that mask, the normal-brained facade I’ve studied my whole life to become invisible and just blend into the sea of normies.

I feel this pressure to mask the most when I am interacting with my family. My mom and her side, for a brief time, my dad and his side. It’s a quagmire, being the offspring of two very domineering, neurotypical, narcissistic humans.

It’s a lot of work. Why am I sharing this? Because if you feel this way, you are not alone. I see you. I support you. I am rallying for you and I to make it through these moments holding space for us to be as we are, and to feel like we are enough. We don’t need to be fixed, we need to cope with this wild world that doesn’t understand us.

Like an ill-fitting garment, the clothes are the problem not your body. Your brain is not the problem, the world favors one way of doing things and that doesn’t make it right. Being louder doesn’t make your point more correct. There is nothing wrong with who you are and who you were created to be.

I hope wherever you are, this finds you well. That you are safe, loved, valued, and being kind to yourself. The world needs more kindness. Know that I love you and support you. Take the mask off, breathe, stim, and find peace.

Until next time ❤

Phone Calls in the Smartphone Era

As a Zillennial, on the cusp of both Gen Z and Millennials, my generation(s) have been stereotyped by the older folks as being afraid of phone calls, preferring a text to a voice on the other end of the line. And for a while, I’d say, yeah, I fell into this place of preferring a text as a teenager or chatting online, in my moody, insecure teenagedom, but then the phone call became this novelty of a thing. Calling someone seemed so serious, I became apprehensive if my question or answer was “serious” enough to warrant a call.

I didn’t want to be a burden, which is such a strange upside-down world from childhood, when the phone was the only way to contact your friends. I remember in the days of late elementary school, email being another exciting tool to communicate, like letters, but now email has become an intrusive contact on my smartphone. And maybe, that’s because email felt like real mail, when you could only check it on your window of computer time on the shared family computer. There was a boundary between online and offline. My mind has been marinating on this since watching a Theresa Yea video called, Why the Internet Will Never Be Cool Again.

I’m currently stuck in an endless game of phone tag, which is quite common when I am talking regularly to one of my parents. With my dad, it was a long game of waiting for that perfect window of nothingness. His layover in a city he found boring, I’d keep him company as he complained about life. Entertaining him and supporting him in his time of boredom, because if he were home, he was on the go every single moment. If I needed him, he would usually call me back on a drive home with a small set window for his attention span or horrible service.

My mom, in a similar fashion, gets stuck in these loops going non-stop. Except she answers the phone in loud restaurants, in the car, or at events, just to tell me that she is not available. She will even talk to other people around her, making me wait, or will pass the phone to the people she is with, as if I want to say hi to them when I really just wanted to converse with her about something important.

There is nothing like being on the brink of a panic attack and having your mom pass you to an acquaintance to say hi instead of listening to your crisis. Especially when you called because you thought they were home and available, but really, your loved one is always on the go. Not emotionally available. I hate calling and being met with passive-aggressive pressure to stop talking and let her go, even though she chose to answer the phone and enter into conversation like she was available at first, only to break that illusion as soon as you answer “how you are doing”. Read the room, kid, but honestly, how can I? This is particularly confusing when my parents both let me know how they would prefer me to live closer so I would be more available, but would it matter?

The video call and the text have become two of the most intrusive manners of communication, because a text should be responded to promptly and a video call, in her mind is perfectly normal to answer in a public setting like a restaurant or car without letting me know before I speak, what I believe I am saying in private to a person who is available to talk, to be swiftly gotcha-ed by the fact that I am not alone, and my privacy is not respected. The video call is like a two-edged sword; it is nice to connect with friends and family over long distances, but it is also a tool that hinders connection. It drops in unannounced and forces conversations that should be private to be open to the room.

I crave the dedicated correspondence of my grandma’s era, when she moved to another town, which meant that calling her mom would be categorized as long distance, and so she and her mom wrote letters to each other every day. I haven’t had that kind of connection with my mom since she got remarried, and I miss that feeling of connection, of being heard. It’s something that carried through my Grandma and my Aunt Florence’s generation, my phone calls with them being so intentional and full of connection. It was a visit, a catch-up, and was treated with hard boundaries. The common thread here is the lack of a smartphone.

Phones were still seen as tools to converse, not mini-computers full of distractions. I find this intentionality coming back to conversations I have with my friends; there are boundaries and moments set aside to converse without distractions. We have planned phone calls or dedicated pauses to set aside other tasks to write longer messages, like letters, through messaging apps. It has improved our communication and respect for each other’s time, in a way that I wish I could have with my parents. I just want to connect and not be connected. I want to converse and not call. I want to correspond and not text.

It is all a pipe dream, because this is never going to happen, they are just too enamoured with technology and the endless possibilities of their boomer generation, and the financial leg up that their generation has to be on the go and do things nearly constantly. We live in two different worlds, and that makes me sad.

Structure and Flow: Sewing in Two Minds

Like I said in my 2025 So Far Has Been a Creative Slump, I am sharing the projects I’ve hidden away in my closet and the photos buried in my gallery. It’s time to catch up on this blog on what I’ve been sewing, because it’s been a journey of new discoveries.

Go With the Flow

In 2022, Kyle gave me a unique birthday present. He curated a mystery box of fabric for me to do my own “Project Runway” challenge – one of those fabrics was this sheer wheat colored criss-cross fabric. It has lived in my stash ever since. It was a fabric that scared me but intrigued me. It’s a stretch mesh burnout pattern, and for over a year, I was baffled at how to sew it without destroying it.

Even so, after I sewed it into a garment, how would I apply it? Would it be a garment that would be sewn layered on top of an opaque fabric? What would that look like? Should I use a high contrast fabric or something similar in tone? It stumped me. I lived with it a bit more in my stash, and it came with me through the move and into the fall once more. In 2024, after two years, I had an idea – sheer layering. A garment I could wear under or over other pieces to add dimension and disguise the oatmeal color that I was concerned would wash me out.

My decision was to make a shirt. I thought making it a “basic” would provide the most opportunity to style it in my wardrobe. I sewed the delicate fabric with my machine very slowly. I relaxed the tension of the thread and progressed delicately, ready to hand-sew at any moment of panic. It was not terrifying; it was possible.

Structure of a Bodice – Armor

Many years ago, back in 2021 (four years ago, what?!) I crafted a structured dress, based on Lizzie Bennet’s dress, when Charlotte Lucas announces her marriage to Mr. Collins. It was a vest and a skirt, with buttons and a collar. It was ambitious but rubbish, yet a project I can’t stop thinking about how I could have made it better.

Enter this fabric and this bodice shape. It looks like an armor piece made of vintage ditzy flower fabric, lined with muslin. I wanted to reclaim what I learned in 2021, but try again in 2025, since the failure of my early projects made me shrink back to “easy” projects. I’ve made things that have challenged me a little bit, but not a true experiment. Constant growth is painful. Think of your body after consistent workouts, you’re going to hurt. It’s part of the process of getting stronger, and it feels at times like a negative experience. That feeling ground me down. I was tired of the learning experiences that felt more like loss and waste than an expression of crafting and artistry. It’s human, it’s passion, how can we not want the fruit of our labor to produce something good?

I made this dress slowly, over several weeks, while working on other projects, while being sick. It was a slow, steady, careful process to make a dress that would bring me joy from the creation and the wearing. The other thing I had to wrestle with, in this project, was shaking off the demons of my Lizzie Bennet dress. It was a dress I felt pretty in, but that I took a lot of crap for my appearance when I wore it out. It was structured, fitted, and flowy. The waist was not perfectly matched to the small of my waist, due to my lack of tailoring knowledge. This dress prompted a stranger to ask me when I was due, and then doubled down that I looked pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant, so to her, I looked fat. Thanks lady.

It was rude and such a breach of boundaries. Don’t ask random strangers if they are pregnant; wait for them to clearly tell you. It feels like a slap in the face for so many toxic culture reasons, the main one is the unwanted comment on your body with the double standard of “pregnancy being the most beautiful,” but don’t look pregnant, aka don’t be fat, because the zeitgeist is fat-phobic. I got rid of the dress and don’t have any photos saved of the dress; that’s how much this experience ruined the dress for me. I lacked the confidence to brush it off. I didn’t understand my body’s proportions and lines, therefore, I blamed my body and myself for the dress not working, instead of my tailoring skills being the problem.

2025 Style – Layering and Reclaiming

I chose to confront this feminine dress style once again. I knew it would clash with the natural lines of my body. I don’t have an hourglass body shape, which this fit and flare dress calls for. I’ve been scared to wear it, but I am challenging myself to try. I layered the sheer shirt I made in 2024 with this dress and a belt to create balance. It’s going to take time to get comfortable, for sure.

The dress not only has this flowy skirt, but it is fully lined, and the front gathering has been tracked down with stitches to reduce waist bulk. I also added eyelets and lacing at the back of the garment to define the waist, Lastly, I added a belt to my waist, which I don’t enjoy wearing, but the effect of pulling the eye to the waist should reduce unwanted comments, I hope. I like the contrast of these garments together. They have flow and structure. Together they create a complete thought, and in my opinion, look like designs with a point of view, which is what I am aiming for in my designs 2025.

My 2025 So Far Has Been A Creative Slump

I can’t believe it’s May already, I’ve been so busy with our garden project and a follow up project of screening in our back porch, distracted by Joann’s closure and the evil running rampant in our world that I have been on a slow creative trajectory, and its really catching up to me!

Upcycling, Alterations, Mending

As of late, the bulk of my sewing projects have been preservation, updates, or reworking the garment into something new. In mid-winter, I decided to tailor every t-shirt in my closet. This meant I would be hemming every shirt to end above my hip and bringing the end of the sleeve upward, to end higher on my arm, which is more flattering to my vertical line. I’ve had to repair a few garments and mend some older pieces. I’ve also been taking some of my clothes in and tearing them apart to be upcycled into new projects I can’t wait to share. That I thought I already shared. This leads me to the next point: I have a backlog of projects I held back last fall.

The Head Games of Content

I still battle imposter syndrome, and in doing so, last year, feared that I would run out of ideas. So I slowed down my posting to keep these good ideas and projects in the tank for a rainy day, and instead of this giving me the freedom to create and write without pressure this gave my type-B nature and out to avoid writing, because I had the ideas, and so I sat on them and now it is almost a year later, without these projects having their time to shine. Grinding it out on Instagram last year definitely took my focus from me, and then these constant recession fears have kept me in a place of fear, which has stifled my desire to create, in case I can’t buy more materials in the future. I worry too much. Writing for two years, on this site, led me to a sophomoric slump heading into 2025. I lost the urgency to keep going and backslid into complacency and a lack of creativity. I have also transitioned into a slower creative process in hopes of gaining that spark again!

Hand Sewing 2: Electric Boogaloo

When I began sewing in 2020, I did so through sewing by hand through the tutorials of Bernadette Banner. I did this for two years and then acquired my Heavy Duty Singer, which I switched to using exclusively from the end of 2022 through the beginning of 2025. But this year, I am having some struggles with my sewing machine. I love the speed at which you can make things, but I fear that this boost in speed has dampened my craftsmanship.

When I was sewing by hand, I had the time to consider the project and to ponder where the design was going to lead me. With my sewing machine, I have fallen into a bad habit of making without pausing to ponder. I also started designing simpler, easier-to-sew garments for efficiency instead of art. But speaking of efficiency, I don’t think sewing machines are as efficient as we make them out to be. Mine is quite finicky. It eats fabric and thread. I go through the thread considerably quicker using my Singer than I do by hand. I have to rip seams and sew again, many times, because the machine messed up a stitch or skipped stitches altogether, and I’m tired of it. So my machine and I are taking some time apart.

Slow and Steady, A Life of WIPs

And so, here I am months later with a few finished garments, many WIPs, and a better life balance. Including a refreshed creative well. The time spent working outside with Kyle crafting our screened porch, tilling garden beds, painting, upcycling furniture, studying Japanese, drawing, reading, exercising, etc, has been a wonderful way to remember why I love creating. I find knitting to be my happy place. For a week, I barely knitted, and my mind was filled with far more rage without the needles weaving yarn into cloth. I’ve come to a place in my sewing journey where I want to learn and be ambitious again. I’ve filled my closet with good handmade pieces, but I want to create exceptional, one-of-a-kind things.

I have learned that knitting is my favorite mode of creation, and sewing is the freedom to make what I don’t want to buy or can’t find offered. The process is just as important as the final product, as trite as that is, creation and crafting are where we thrive, not consuming. I find moments of calm in working with my hands and feel satisfaction in stepping away to old creative haunts, like painting or gardening. I think the slump was an important part of growing. I hope that you find creative refreshment and know that you are loved. Stay safe out there, these are dangerous times, and know that I care about you all very much.

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