The 10 Best Pumpkin Beers of 2026

I think fall is the best season of the year. There’s something magical about the crispness in the air, the magical colors of the leaves changing, and the incredible flavors that come with it. Pumpkin is one of my favorite things to enjoy throughout fall, and I’ll eat it in pie, cookies, rolls, coffee drinks, and even soups, but one of my favorite ways to enjoy it is in beer.

Wikipedia says that the first mention of pumpkin beer being brewed in the United States was in 1771, but it wasn’t until the 1980s that it was commercially brewed when Buffalo Bill’s Brewery in California did so. Since then, pumpkin beer has skyrocketed in popularity, and Magz and I were in college during the 2010s when it felt like every independent brewery was releasing a pumpkin beer at a time when craft breweries were all the rage. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it felt like the popularity of pumpkin beers lessened toward the end of the 2010s and the start of the 2020s, but it appears to be back now. Go into any reputable distributor in early September when I’m writing this, and you can find more than a dozen different pumpkin beers to try. Here are the 10 best pumpkins beers for 2026 that I’ve drunk this year.

Top 10 Pumpkin Beers for 2026

10.) Pumpkinville Latte

Brewery: Ellicottville Brewing Company – Ellicottville, NY
ABV: 6.5%
IBU: 17

Ellicottville is located in the Southern Tier of New York about 30 miles east of Jamestown and directly north of Bradford, Pennsylvania. When you picture a beautiful fall day, the Southern Tier is the kind of place that comes to mind. Close to Ellicottville is the tiny hamlet (that’s what they’re called in NY) of Great Valley, where each fall the spectacle that is Pumpkinville comes alive and everything that is fall is celebrated. It’s this Pumpkinville attraction that the beer gets its name. Pumpkinville Latte is a smooth beer that builds upon its regular Pumpkinville beer by combining it with elements reminiscent of a pumpkin-spiced latte. I’m not sure how accurate this is, but it tastes like the regular Pumpkinville beer was mixed with a milk stout to give it a creamy mouth feel that is often associated with lactose being present. It’s certainly a unique beer, and I recommend it to anyone who likes quality beer, pumpkin, and lattes, but I don’t think it’s an improvement over the original Pumpkinville. It can also be a bit pricey at upwards of $12 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans.

Score: 5.5/10

9.) Jack-O

Brewery: Samuel Adams, Boston Beer Company – Boston, MA
ABV: 4.4%
IBU: 8

Prior to about two weeks ago, neither of us knew this beer existed. In the past, I haven’t been the biggest fan of Sam Adams beer apart from the Boston Beer Company’s partnership with Dogfish Head, so I wasn’t researching their fall beer offerings. We saw a six-pack of this in the grocery store; the description was intriguing and the price was right at less than $10, so we picked it up. I think it’s safe to say that it’s the most unique pumpkin beer I’ve ever had because it’s heavy on the nutmeg. Most spiced pumpkin beers are heavy on the cinnamon to replicate a pumpkin pie, but nutmeg gives it a different flavor profile. I really enjoyed it and think it’s worth trying or even buying a six-pack, but it isn’t a flavor I could have all the time.

Score: 6/10

8.) Pumpkin Ale

Brewery: Block House Brewing, Pittsburgh Brewing Company – Pittsburgh, PA
ABV: 7%
IBU: N/A

Magz and I differ a bit on our opinions of Block House’s Pumpkin Ale. She likes it a bit more than I do, but I still think it’s a quality beer. It’s definitely on the sweeter end of things, but you get all the notes of pumpkin pie, which is clearly what Block House is trying to offer given the artwork. Even the beer’s phrase “spice & everything nice” indicates what you’re in for with this beer. I personally think it’s a bit too sweet, but the spice blend works really well. My biggest complaint with the beer is its price. At $21 for an 18-pack of cans or $11.99 for a six-pack of bottles, it’s not too expensive until you learn that Block House is the “craft” division of Pittsburgh Brewing Company, the same brewery that makes Iron City. That price point is on par with some higher-end imports, and I’m not convinced this belongs there. Regardless, it’s worth trying if you live near Pittsburgh.

Score: 6.25/10

7.) Double Zombies

Brewery: New Trail Brewing Company – Williamsport, PA
ABV: 8.5%
IBU: 4

I think this may have been the first pumpkin beer we had this year, as our local distributor had some leftover four-packs from last year. I think it was also our introduction to New Trail Brewing Company. This beer hits hard at 8.5%, plus it’s only sold in 16-ounce cans, so it’s not what you would call sessionable. Still, in spite of the fairly high ABV, it’s easy to drink and is smooth. In addition to the standard pumpkin flavors, Double Zombies also has maple syrup in it, adding an extra bit of sweetness and another flavor. Like other New Trail beers that are only available in four-packs, it’s a bit pricey. I’m not sure of the exact cost, but I would guess anywhere between $12 and $16 for the four-pack. But if you can find it in singles or have someone to split it with, it’s still worth trying.

Score: 6.5/10

6.) Pumpkinhead

Brewery: Shipyard Brewing Company – Portland, ME
ABV: 4.5%
IBU: 17

This beer has some of the coolest artwork of any pumpkin beer, depicting the headless horseman from Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; however, this horseman does have a head, but it’s a pumpkin. I first saw the artwork when a distributor we like shared pictures of it on social media. I read about it and had to find it. Interestingly enough, our local distributor (the same place we bought Double Zombies) had a case of last year’s Pumpkinhead and sold it to us for $15. This is one of my favorite things about trying new beers. Sometimes, it’s the artwork or design that entices you, just like the cover of a book. Pumpkinhead lives up to its design with a flavorful beer that is light and refreshing. It actually tastes like beer, which isn’t always a given with pumpkin beers that are often full of spices. Pumpkinhead isn’t too sweet with a subtle pumpkin flavor, making it easy to drink, and at 4.5% ABV, it’s very sessionable. And even though we got our case really cheap, it’s still an affordable beer full price, at around $9 or $10 for a six-pack of bottles.

Score: 7/10

5.) Pumpkin Ale

Brewery: Smuttynose Brewing Company – Hampton, NH
ABV: 5%
IBU: 25

We became big fans of Smuttynose beers earlier in the summer when we found a discounted fall variety pack that was outdated. The pack had four great beers, including their Pumpkin Ale. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve had their Pumpkin Ale, but how smooth and easy to drink it is stood out. It’s a beer that reflects the earliest versions of pumpkin beer, so its flavor has more pumpkin than spice notes. It put Smuttynose on the map for us, and now we know that we’re likely to enjoy any of their beers. It’s also an affordable brewery to buy from, so it’s possible to find a six-pack of it for around $10.

Score: 7.5/10

4.) Pumpkin Ale

Brewery: Saranac Brewery – Utica, NY
ABV: 5.3%
IBU: 15

Let me start by saying that Saranac makes some unbelievably good and affordable beers. Their Pumpkin Ale was our introduction to them, but we’ve since had the rest of their fall beers and their 12 Beers of Summer variety pack. It’s all delicious. Their pumpkin is darker in color than many of the others on this list, but it’s lighter in flavor, making it really easy to drink even at 5.3%. You get a nice pumpkin flavor with hints of the typical spices – cinnamon, allspice, ginger, and clove. It’s simply great and is comparable in quality and flavor to the three above it. For around $10 for a six-pack of bottles or $15 for their summer variety pack, you can’t go wrong.

Score: 8/10

3.) Punkin Ale

Brewery: Dogfish Head Craft Brewery – Milton, DE
ABV: 7%
IBU: 28

Punkin Ale was one of the first pumpkin beers I tried in college, and it’s because I love all things Dogfish Head. It’s been brewed since 1994 before the brewery started, and the story behind it is great. Dogfish Head founder Sam Calagione brewed the first batch of Punkin Ale to enter it in the annual Punkin Chunkin contest in Delaware, putting it up against pumpkin baked goods and other homemade items. He won the contest, and it’s been brewed every year for a fall release since. Using all natural ingredients, you can taste authentic pumpkin, brown sugar, and pie spices. At 7%, it’s a bit heavy, but it drinks lighter than the ABV suggests. It’s a staple in our rotation of pumpkin beers. However, beware, because, like other Dogfish beers, it’s not cheap at nearly $14 for a six-pack of cans.

Score: 8.5/10

2.) Johnny Rails

Brewery: Erie Brewing Company – Erie, PA
ABV: 6.5%
IBU: 12

We looked for Johnny Rails for weeks before eventually finding it in our grocery store. I think Erie Brewing Company may release it later than other breweries release their pumpkin beers, and despite living just an hour away from Erie, we couldn’t find it at any of the distributors. We first had it years ago, but it had been since at least 2019 that we drank it, so the first sip this year felt like the first one. As a blonde ale, it’s really crisp and refreshing, and with an ABV of 6.5%, I think it’s the perfect balance of refreshing and heavy. It’s flavorful but not overpowering, establishing a great balance. It was worth waiting for, and I also think it’s worth the high price tag of $15 for a six-pack of bottles.

Score: 9/10

1.) Pumpkinville

Brewery: Ellicottville Brewing Company – Ellicottville, NY
ABV: 6.5%
IBU: 17

I referenced Ellicottville’s original Pumpkinville earlier, and here it is. I think it’s the best pumpkin beer I’ve ever had, and I don’t think it’s that much of a debate. At 6.5%, it’s right in the sweet spot of being heavy enough to notice the alcohol without being overpowering. You get plenty of pumpkin flavor, and the spice adds a nice touch to complete the tasting notes. It’s one of several reasons that Ellicottville has become my favorite brewery. Pumpkinville is also pretty affordable at $12 or $13 for a six-pack of 12-ounce cans. If you can find this in your area, you should give it a try. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Score: 9.5/10

Pumpkin Beers Left Off the List

If you’re an experienced pumpkin beer drinker, you’ll likely notice that some popular ones are missing. I’ll address those here. I’ve had Southern Tier’s Pumking and Maple Warlock, but I think both are too heavy at 8.6%. I like pumpkin beer to be smooth and easy to drink, and anytime a beer gets above 8%, it gets into a range that I don’t find enjoyable. Both are also crazy expensive at nearly $4 a bottle. I also had a pumpkin cider from Penn Brewery that was a collaboration with a local orchard and didn’t enjoy it at all. I didn’t think the pumpkin flavor worked well with the cider and will avoid those moving forward.

There are also plenty of pumpkin beers that I want to try but have yet to find. I’d really like to try the pumpkin beers from Elysian, especially the Night Owl and Punkoccino, but I’ve yet to find them in singles to try. I’ve seen them in six-packs and variety packs, but at their price point, I’d really like to try one before committing to multiple of them. Good Gourd from Cigar City is another popular pumpkin beer that I have yet to see in stores.

Do you enjoy pumpkin beers? If so, what do you think of my list, and are there any that I need to try? I’m always interested in trying new beers and like to expand my horizons each fall.

A Procrastinator’s Temperature Blanket Guide

Did you know that you can find daily highs and lows in a database to use for temperature blankets? I didn’t either until a year ago. (Yes, this project post is long overdue.)

I learned this from the lovely Toni Lipsey of TLYarnCrafts, which saved me when I spontaneously decided to make a temperature project last year for Christmas…after Thanksgiving.

I am a last-minute Christmas gift maker, along with many people out there. I am not special or organized, but I’d like to change the second one. Anyways!

What is a temperature blanket?

It is a fiber-based project, knit or crocheted, whose color palette and sometimes its pattern are determined by the daily weather of a specific location over a certain time span. I thought you had to track every day, but you do not, which is amazing because you can make this project on a whim. Although the actual work time will be longer than you may expect, it was for me.

It’s a fantastic stash-busting project or a way to use colorful yarn you may not put together in the same project. You can do whatever you want, and that is what makes this project such a special one. Your color changes will be different depending on what date range you choose and where you live.

It’s like a fiber fingerprint of a certain time, a memory, crafted into fabric.

The traditional date range is a year of weather, usually highs, which is what I did with my first project, but you can do whatever you want, and isn’t that amazing? You can do lows, weather patterns, etc. I had the idea of honoring a family member’s birthday by researching the temperature on their birthday every year since they were born. It truly is a free-form, fascinating way to engage with crafting and nature!

Materials, Temperatures Recorded, and Yardage

I chose to stash-bust my backlog of half-used acrylic skeins for a random color palette, but it can be whatever you like. You can use wool, cotton, or alpaca. You can plan an entire color palette that is unique to your design sensibility. I think an ombre in the same color family would be lovely if you can find the yarn swatches to do this. I think that with the right design eye, this usually random-looking project can look exquisitely planned out.

I believe the most important part of the project is getting the data recorded down into a spreadsheet or notebook, whatever fits your crafting style, so that you can see what temperature ranges are the most common and therefore which ranges will be the most common through the piece. I had a really tough time deciding this, and in hindsight, I wish I had tallied how many of each I had before knitting, because for one color, I almost ran out! It would have been so much easier to have swapped the colors I was using according to the yardage I had instead of choosing at random. I think that is why crafting practice and crafting community are so vital to this work, because sometimes you don’t know until you try, and sharing our experiences informs the greater knowledge for us all.

For my temperature data, I am an analog gal, so I recorded my temperature highs in a notebook and checked off each day as I went to keep track of my progress. I highly suggest doing this in some capacity because otherwise, you are going to have to count rows, and checking off progress in a spreadsheet or notebook is just quicker.

If you are a beginner knitter or crocheter, might I also recommend Caron or Big Twist acrylic yarn for this project? The value for yardage and lack of splitting of these yarns make a huge difference for a first crafting experience, so that this project easily transforms from a skein of yarn to a lovely blanket made with your own hands.

Would you make a temperature blanket? Have you ever tried to make one before? Did you enjoy your experience?

#73 – Welcome, Again!

A lot has changed in the 2 years since this blog was launched, and I thought, it might be time to update my introduction.

In 2023, my plan was to finding a new landing place for me to explore writing again, after Muirin Project, my blog from 2016-2019. I wanted to showcase my novel, catalog my knitting and sewing journey, journal my bible study, and share my love for creative expression in many artistic mediums.

Now I have added some new things to the mix – Japanese learning, Kpop, garment workers/conscious consumption, and most excitingly: gardening! Which welcomed my husband to the site to share his experiences with gardening and bring awareness to why natural ecosystems, seed saving, and eating local matter. He is also preparing to share his other favorite hobby – woodworking.

Now, for something I question – should I change the site name? I am uncertain for SEO purposes and the likelihood of broken links. I don’t think it is wise. But this site is so much more than just my work, it is the harmonizing voices of myself and Kyle which is how I think the world becomes a better place – working together. Let’s keep the honmoon sealed. ❤

After Thought Heel Socks

A special thanks to the pattern writing of Weichien Chan from Saskie & Co and Jamie Lomax from Pacific Knit Co, for explaining this process with such clarity, that I leveled up from a sock knitting dreamer to a sock knitter. Check out their patterns! I’m glad I did. 😃

The Sock Saga

How? And, why? Those were the questions burning at the back of mind as the sock process eluded me, again and again. For years, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the heel of the sock patterns I acquired. I tried a toe up approach. I tried to mess around with short rows. I even bought a sock pattern book from a used book store, for a bit of sock heritage. Heel flap, confused me. The mechanics of double pointed needles, challenged my hand eye coordination. Magic Loop tested my patience and exposed my tight tension, from my cluttered mind. But the Addi Sockenwunder 9″ cable in 3.5mm became the key to unlock knitting mechanics I was lacking.

If you’re familiar with this blog, you know my frustrations with knitting in the round. This came to a head in February, during the Melt the ICE hat knit along. I seriously messed up my tension, and initial attempt by twisting my work. My joined stitches became a helix, coiling around the cable. I frogged my work, and started again, this time waiting a few rows before joining. (I found this wisdom thanks to the advice of Reddit, I think? To the past comment thread that helped me, know that I am eternally grateful.) This time around, I was determined to keep my hands loose and my mind relaxed, and it worked. I did not feel the hand fatigue, I normally experience when knitting in the round. The short cable length of the Sockenwunder needles was the key, the stitches slid easily around in the exact space of a sock circumference. This is why Magic Loop and I, did not form a lasting relationship, the shifting of stitches was a hurdle I disliked. Same with DPNs, I don’t want to keep track of stitches on needles, I want to be in a flow state of stitching. That is the best part of knitting in the round, in my opinion, you just go and knit. It is incredibly relaxing, like crocheting a simple stitch across a project, you and the stitching implement become one with the yarn, looping and creating a fabric with a relaxed mind.

For this reason, the Sockenwunder socks came together quickly, despite the new techniques I was employing in this project. My first sock, I began at the end of the day on a Thursday, knit the body of the sock on Friday, and finished the toe and heel on Saturday. My second sock was began on Sunday, knit Monday, and wrapped up on Tuesday. Quick and easy, compared to a sweater! It’s what I want out of this knitting practice, something quick and relaxing, that is a pleasure to replicate over and over again. In the short term for my own feet for this coming winter, and in the long term for loved ones and beyond, hopefully charity knitting socks and possibly selling them at a market or online marketplace.

Sock Pattern

My sock pattern was loosely based on the patterns featured in the Arctic Knits book, which I will not go into detail for copyright reasons, but one thing I will talk about is my sizing mistake. I cast on an extra ten stitches from the Saskie & Co pattern, because of my usual tight tension knitting in the round. They fit a bit loose, and that’s okay. These first socks are a toile, for future socks, as I develop my preferences for socks. They are still usable, with a relaxed cabin socks fit for lounging around the house. I may layer other cotton socks underneath on cold days to pad the fit.

Another deviation from the sock patterns in the Arctic Knits book, was my choice to knit stripes, with scrap yarn from my Saskie Cardigan (another Saskie & Co project I will share soon). I didn’t know if these socks would turn out or be another failed attempt, so I used up my extras, in random stripes. This freed up my mind to concentrate on the mechanics of knitting the sock, and not the knitting charts. In the future, I plan to make the socks as written by Weichien Chan, they are stunning color work socks.

I used a combination of Knit Picks Wool of the Andes, Knit Picks Stroll, and Kelbourne Woolens Germantown.

Now, what about that random raised row of brown yarn? That is the magic of the after thought sock! You make temporary arrangements for your heel and pick it up again after the sock body and toe are complete. This is where Pacific Knit Co’s tutorial had my back. Sometimes I need things rephrased, and many detailed pictures to make a new skill click. I’m a visual learner. Sometimes those patterns, although well written jumble in my mind. By using the combination of both pattern designers I successfully picked up the stitches above and below. I did this with a second set of circulars from Clover that were a bit longer, 16″ but the same gauge of 3.5 mm. The length difference was helpful during the knitting process, as the long needles hung down out of the way of my hands knitting on the Sockenwunder, and alleviated the stress of stitches falling off when unattended to.

Both Weichien and Jamie helped finally see the how and why of the heel shaping. With the heel flap techniques, I lost sight of the point. With the patterns that had me turn the heel while knitting the body, the complexity of this, overwhelmed me. But the after thought heel, eliminated both of these hiccups. I could see the sock body and the heel taking shape, it was intuitive. If you have experienced overwhelm by socks, I high recommend mixing up your tools and techniques. That is why we have so many to choose from, you must experiment to find the right fit like selecting a bowling ball.

Experimentation and repetition are my biggest takeaways from this multi-year sock saga. It’s not the finished project, as much as the process that defines the success. Knitting requires a patience and tenacity to frog and cast on again that has been hard for me, as a perfectionist with squirrel brain to stay the course with. Mistakes anger me. Frogging feels like a waste of time, but its not. Committing the skills to memory by practice is no different to volleyball practice drills or math homework. To be a skilled maker, you must put the time in, no short cuts. In this age of information and short cuts, it’s counter-cultural to slow down and fixate one skill until it is acquired, but it is the only way as humans we learn.

September 16, 2026

Early Band Saw Projects – Back Scratcher, Thumb Book Page Holder & Guitar Pick holder

A few weeks ago, I picked up a Ryobi 9″ band saw that was on an incredible sale. We live close to an outlet, and one of the stores there is Direct Factory Tools, which sells factory-blemished or -refurbished Ryobi and Rigid tools. When the tools aren’t on sale, the prices are usually about $10-20 cheaper than Home Depot for the same, unblemished product; however, several times each year, they run 40% off sales, which makes things very affordable. The band saw was factory-blemished and was only $120, and it works great.

I know some woodworkers and people in general would balk at the idea of buying refurbished or blemished tools, but it’s a great way to build out your woodshop when you’re on a budget or don’t want to overspend on a tool you’re unfamiliar with or won’t use often. So far, I’ve bought a refurbished planer, belt sander, jig saw, and reciprocating saw as well as a blemished drill press from there, and all have worked perfectly. I’ve probably saved thousands of dollars buying tools this way, and in time, I’ll probably upgrade or replace them, but it’s been a wonderful way to develop as a woodworker without overspending.

I put off buying a band saw for a few years but finally succumbed to the realization that they’re incredibly useful. It allows a woodworker to cut curves and intricate designs as well as resaw lumber in a safe and controlled way. A jigsaw can cut curves, but it usually isn’t precise and doesn’t leave a clean finished product because the blade flexes. I also thought about buying a scroll saw but ultimately went for the larger and more powerful saw.

If you’re unfamiliar with scroll saws, they operate similarly to a sewing machine in that they have a small blade that pivots up and down. You’re able to make extremely precise cuts and tight curves with it and can start cutting from inside a hole with the detachable blade. But the biggest downside of a scroll saw is the maximum thickness you’re able to cut with it. While there’s a lot of overlap between a band saw and a scroll saw, there are things that can be done with one but not the other, so there’s a reason to have both. A band saw is more helpful for my needs at this time, so I went with that first.

After I got everything set up, this was the first time I’ve used a band saw, and thankfully, it’s really easy and fun to use. And perhaps the best thing is that it’s a relatively safe type of saw to use compared to a table saw. In the weeks since I bought the saw, I’ve been spending a lot of time familiarizing myself with it and working on some really cool projects that I want to share in this post.

Back Scratcher

With the band saw set up, I wanted to experiment with all the cuts that can be done on it, starting with cutting curves. For some reason, I decided to split a two-inch-thick piece of wood in half, and from there began making curved cuts. I started to see the shape of a handle coming out of the cuts. I remembered that my grandparents always had a back scratcher in their house and began making cuts to create one. It was really easy to get the curve of the “claws” of the scratcher. From there, I shaped the handle and cut out the spacing between the claws. Only taking about 10 minutes to cut out, I was amazed at how easy the band saw made things and was immediately hooked.

I had the second half of the wood I started with, so I quickly cut a second one, sanded everything on the drum sander attachment for my drill press, and was done. They aren’t perfect, but they work really well and can be improved upon. I also can see how handled items like kitchen utensils can be easily made with the band saw. I made wooden spoons in the past using a jigsaw and rotary tool, but it will be much easier now. Looking back, I now wonder if my grandfather made the backscratchers they had.

Thumb Book Page Holder

I love reading, and I recently saw these wooden page holders that go over your thumb so that you can keep the book open with one hand and not hurt your thumb. This was also the time when I was looking at band saw projects, and it turns out that Magz actually told me about these a few years ago, but I had forgotten about them. While these page holders can be made with other saws, the band saw just made it so much easier. I took a two-inch by four-inch block, found the center, and drilled a 7/8-inch hole with a forstner bit. Next, I drew a rough outline of what I wanted the shape to be and began freehand cutting it on the saw. With it cut out, I took it to the drum sander attachment and smoothed everything.

This was a really cool project that came together really fast. It took only about 10 minutes from start to finish, and I underestimated how helpful it is. Holding a book open with one hand isn’t comfortable and can put strain on the thumb. The page holder eliminates that problem.

Guitar Pick Holder

This project was the most complicated and complex of the ones I cover in this post. When coming up with projects I could use my band saw on, I began thinking about a way to clean up my guitar stand/amp holder, which has become cluttered with picks, capos, and cords. I wanted something to store everything to organize things a bit better. Initially, I thought about building a band saw box that is shaped like the body of my Yamaha Pacifica, but I then stumbled upon an image of a pick holder that looks like the headstock of a guitar coming out of the body. That sparked what I eventually designed and built.

I knew that I wanted this piece to be artistic and take inspiration from my own guitars. I have four guitars: three acoustics and one electric. I love my Ibanez acoustic-electric, which has a beautiful cutout in the body, but the head isn’t overly unique from other acoustics. Because of that, I wanted to use my Pacifica as the inspiration because it follows the Fender Stratocaster styling, which is one of the most iconic guitar shapes of all time.

Designing it was a lot of fun because the base can’t be a 1:1 scale of the actual guitar, yet the headstock can be true size. I freehanded the shape of the body into my notebook and traced the head onto printer paper. I cut out the head shape and traced it onto the piece of cherry I wanted to use. For the body, I again freehanded the shape onto two pieces of oak that I joined together.

I quickly cut out the pieces, being careful not to cut through the “fins” of the body. From there, I took the pieces to the drum sander attachment until everything was smooth. I went back to the band saw to cut out the slots for the picks and attached the head to the body with two screws. Finally, I drilled two holes and glued dowels that I wanted to add to hold my slide and leather wrist pick holder. And with that, it was done.

I think these projects have given me a wonderful start to using my band saw. None of them are necessarily perfect, but I learned and improved with each of them. I love my pick holder more than I can describe and am incredibly proud of how it turned out. I’m looking forward to what else I can build with my band saw moving forward.

September 15, 2026 1

Apparently We Can Grow Potatoes

I’ve written about it a few other times, but it’s been a difficult gardening year for us. Weeds, pests, weather, and poor decisions have all contributed to struggles with tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, squash, and pumpkins. Thankfully, one of the vegetables we’ve been able to grow has been potatoes.

After receiving some rotten potato starts in 2025 and the healthy ones rotting in the soil instead of growing, we were intentional about how we grew them this year. All the potatoes came from Urban Farmer and arrived in perfect condition. We also decided to grow them in bags this year, which I wrote about in a previous post. This is by far the best decision we made for our garden this year. The bags were easy to plant in, could be maneuvered throughout the garden as needed, and the plants took off in all but one of the bags.

We harvested our first potatoes in early August when we pulled a bag of Red Norlands. We pulled them a bit early and probably could have gotten a bigger yield had we left them to grow a couple more weeks, but they tasted great and were firm with smooth skins. We got two meals out of the first batch.

Afterward, we were committed to leaving the potatoes in the soil until we were 100 percent certain that they were ready. We ultimately waited until this past Monday (Labor Day) to harvest another batch of them, and we pulled them from 10 bags, harvesting some of each variety we grew – Red Norland, Adirondack Blue, and German Butterball. We got roughly 10 pounds or so and gave some to our neighbors, but we still have a lot to eat. Plus, we have eight bags left to harvest. We’ve already tried some of the Adirondack Blues, and they were also delicious.

Potatoes Are My Favorite Vegetable to Grow

Successfully growing potatoes this year reminded me of why I love growing them so much. They’re relatively easy to grow compared to other vegetables, especially when grown in bags. They’re also fun to watch grow since the green “stalks” grow super tall and develop beautiful flowers. The most fun part is harvesting. We can lift the bags to make them easier to access so that we aren’t bending down so far. Diving into the soil to find the potatoes feels like searching for treasure, and when you think that you’ve found all the potatoes from one bag only to find a straggler, it’s an amazing feeling.

Our potatoes may have been successful this year, but it doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for improvement next year. We had 20 bags, but it would have been better if we had another 10 or 20. We planted five potato pieces in each bag, and some of the bags felt a bit crowded. If we only had three pieces in each bag, I think we would have had an even better yield.

Two other ways that we can improve are having more soil in each and applying fertilizer again after the initial application. This year, each bag was about three-quarters full, but if we can top each bag off so that the soil is flush with the top, it will better protect the plants from the sun and help them grow more. We added a scoop of a balanced fertilizer when we planted the starts, but I never went back to fertilize the bags again. That would have certainly helped.

We had a blast growing potatoes this year and can’t wait to grow them again next year. We’ll likely try to grow more bags to have a better yield. We’ve even discussed giving Magz’s parents a couple of grow bags full of soil and starts next year so that they can grow potatoes next year. If you grew potatoes this year, how have yours been doing?

September 9, 2026 0

AI Overviews and Renaming the Things

I feel like my brain is getting stuck in a quagmire of stupidity in 2026, like wet concrete under the feet of my thoughts when I am writing a blog post or crafting a conversation. It’s not because of using AI that is melting my brain, instead I feel like my brain is constantly having to jump through hoops to navigate the day’s new nonsense. I’ll explain.

Okay, so you’re having a quick search, ideally Duck Duck Go but habits die hard, so I Google only to be bombarded by AI overviews. Now comes the first hoop to jump through, remember to scroll down and ignore the overview to find a reliable source, scroll, scroll…then find a source to reference. Remember how a few years ago you could get Google search results, indexed and organized? Remember how simple that was? The mental effort required to find what you were looking for was streamlined, and now it is not, unless you want the “AI overview” which is nothing more than Google ripping information from the sources and digesting it for you, no matter how inaccurate they are. Creating more chaos, and more barriers to understanding. To be honest, maybe we were idiotic to leave the physical sources in the first place. Microfilm and archives are time consuming, but at least they are organized and unchanging.

For an example of how flawed this new overview format is, I present Dejeon Love. I recommend you look it up, because it is complex. For a reliable overview, I’d recommend Ashley Viola’s commentary on this. In short, Dejeon Love is a scammer, who was able to pad his online persona with so many videos claiming he was a San Francisco player, that it tricked the Google AI Overview. Why does this matter? When his victims searched for him, AI Overview confirmed the lie, and therefore it gave him credit. How disgusting is that? I personally think Google should be held accountable for assisting Love scam 1.3 million USD from 26 women, but of course they won’t be, because this is “the future”.

The other nonsense that is melting our brains day after day is the renaming game being facilitated by Google Maps, an 80 year toddler with a pen, and weak sauce government officials. First we had the Gulf of America in 2025, now we have the Lake of America, and now the state of New America, which I am sure Google Maps will bend over for that one. Aa long as the Kleptocracy of 2026 continues to line Google’s pockets, they will be whoring themselves out for it. I mean the scam worked for Elon, Meta, just give in for the money right? Who cares if it dilutes and corrupts your product, with legal and safety consequences. That seems to be of no concern, because they’ll just tell the machine to propagandize its safety. Case in point, the new Meta ads claiming its safety, while Meta in court over a lawsuit of the contrary.

My mind is so tired of critical thinking this much, over analyzing, factchecking things that used to be reliable, just to communicate the most basic things in 2026, because we have given into nonsense and the dissolution of standards. What are we doing to ourselves?! How will future generations view this time period? The regurgiation of everything era? The Golden Age of AI Slop? Honestly, I hope the state of New Mexico, which is the only governing body that can name itself, uses this as an opportunity to rename itself Nuevo Mexico, and educate our nation of its longer history in North America. The capital city of Santa Fe was founded in 1610, that is 166 years before America was created by the Declaration of Independence.

There are so many things, lofty things, we could be doing instead of debating the names of things that can’t be changed. Or how about how all the things we are having to debate because one person is doing things that he can’t do, with powers he doesn’t have? Or how about the time wasted everyday getting around the AI tools that have been integrated into our lives, slowing things down and stealing our resources? It is a quagmire, draining our focus and mental energy to avoid these idiotic improvements. I mean, after the Lake Ontario incident, how many of downloaded Map Quest? It’s not easy to use! I’m tired of this. Must we leave technology behind to escape this farce of progress? I hope not, for all the resources extracted to create this system that was helpful, that has been made more difficult to use, over and over again.

I’m just a girl, who hates change, especially when it is useless change. Do you agree?

September 8, 2026

Why Not Fall Cleaning?

It’s that time of the year when I come alive the most, and that means I prepare like its a new year, before the frozen embrace of winter sets us in place. I feel a flurry of energy to take stock of my yarn and fabric, go through my wardrobe to declutter, up cycle, and repair. I organize, I dream, I plan home improvement projects for those slow, hunker down days. I don’t feel this way at all in the Spring, I feel worn down by the winter icy, and dry air. I feel the weight of the garden, on my shoulders, and the desire to be outside again and sketch on the porch. The last thing I want to do is re-organize my house and clean. So is it the cadence of the four seasons that brings this rhythm of preparation to fall? Is is our fixation on the academic calendar? I’m not sure. It has been a time tested fixture of human culture. Forever, we have been preparing for winter, harvesting, hunting, and making.

So why, is it called Spring Cleaning? Surely Fall Cleaning would make more sense. I found that it is an ancient and modern phenomenon. The earliest mentions of a “spring cleaning tradition” are found in two west Asian cultures – Persian and ancient Israel. Iranian culture celebrates Persian New Year, Nowruz, on the first day of Spring. To recognize the new year, Iranians prepare by “shaking the house” a thorough clean, or “redd up” as my Western Pennsylvania culture would say. This makes a ton of sense to me. Honestly, I wish our modern New Year wasn’t in January, for my climate dictates the New Year kicks off during the coldest month! Not a time to do anything really other than waiting for the snow storms and negative Fahrenheit temps to pass. It makes for quite a boring holiday. The latter should have been obvious to me, growing up in the church, but I did not connect the two that Passover preparation could be the origin. During Passover, all things made with leavening or fermentation were removed to remember the Israelite flight from Egypt.

For a more modern origin, coal based heating systems would prompt a cleaning ritual in North America, to open up the windows and clear the soot. Honestly, quite a lame origin story, but important. I think a house down the road is burning coal in an burner, and I absolutely despise the stench of it. The smoke is thick and dark, permeating the air in the cold pockets of January’s bitter wind.

My fall cleaning, I’d say has a lot more in common with Nowruz than Passover or cleaning away soot. I love the description of shaking the house, it reminds me of how my Papa would describe my Grandma’s penchant for order, “She’s mean on clean.” As a child, I had no appreciation of her passion for cleaning, now as adult with my own spaces to keep tidy, a good straight up of the house brings me joy. I’ve been tackling the ever-present chaos of my craft room. It began with a sort through of my inventory, organizing it all into banker boxes and a new drawer set from Amazon to keep the fabric folded and yarn skeins arranged by fiber and weight. I can actually find what I need, when I need it, for the first time in my sewing and knitting life! Who knew a few boxes could be life changing? Organizing my stuff the way my mind processes it, well it has cut down on distractions. My easily distracted Neurodivergent brain used to find everything in my tornado of a closet, but the project I was looking for. It made everything take longer than normal, a simple search, an odyssey of investigation and forgetfulness. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I rode this high into my closet, going through it all and organizing more, t-shirts by color family, mixing up my storage solutions from hangers, to zipper bins, to planning shelves to make there be a flow. Putting clothes away can turn into a series of doom piles, because the system was badly designed by me. I needed a way to keep the organization going, while I sorted and folded my clothes, yet again a bad plan led to me sorting through a random drawer for the third time that month, instead of putting the rest of the laundry away. It was a waste of time, leaving me frustrated once again at my squirrel brain. A flow to getting dressed, and a choreographed dance of freshly laundered clothes waltzing into their places once again. But why stop there? Less to organize would be ideal. Thus began a lovely fall purge of clothing into piles – donate, up cycle, repair, and trash/scraps. All the clothes, shoes too! I feel so empowered. I have struggled to part with anything since experiencing grief and trauma in the 2020’s, and it has been embarrassing. I will live with too much stuff, wanting to re-home it, yet being unable to part with it, in some guilt that I don’t understand. I think the burden of my mind is fading, with healthy clarity returning to my heart. I’m not saying goodbye, over and over again, I am being a good steward of things, and sometimes that means you have to let things go. Even my handmade items that may not serve me, but could make someone else happy.

With a clearer mind, I feel inspired to create. This comes ever fall, with a flurry of ideas for new sweaters, accessories, and clothing. This year is a special one as I have been making pants, from scratch and from up-cycled materials. I will be fine tuning my cold weather accessories too, with plans to make excellent hats, mittens, and socks. I’d also like to make a bag or two. My sweater plans are more focused this year. I understand how to make the thing now, so how can I make them better? I guess I shook the house of my creativity too, in this clean.

Do you feel motivated in fall to get things done? Are you a fall cleaner or a traditional spring cleaner?

September 8, 2026

Looking Forward to 2027’s Garden

I know I’ve been writing less gardening content as the year has gone on, which has been both intentional and unintentional. Unintentional in that my plan was always to maintain a steady flow of gardening posts all year, and intentional in that the garden has been a bit of a letdown this year. I’m going to go over some of the ways that 2026 has been a disappointing gardening year, but instead of focusing solely on the negative, I will wrap it up with all the ways we’re going to improve things for next year so that we’re looking forward to 2027.

Things That Went Wrong

Fencing

Starting with the things that have gone wrong is the fencing. Although it worked better than last year’s mesh fence, the construction/snow fencing we used this year couldn’t stand up to rabbit bites. Almost immediately, rabbits bit holes into the fencing that were just big enough for them to squeeze their bodies through. We tried to repair these holes, but the rabbits quickly adapted by chewing new holes. We gave up after a while.

Crop Rotation

Everyone always talks about the soil benefits of rotating crops on an annual basis. Rotating the various plants puts nutrients back into the soil that are pulled by other crops. I’m sure this happens, but for us, a number of the plants that we rotated from last year’s garden didn’t grow well. Our tomatoes, pumpkins, and squash didn’t grow in their new beds, yet we have healthy tomato and pumpkin plants in the beds they grew in last year. I understand the long-term importance of rotating crops, but it’s disappointing to see vegetables fail when they were so successful in a different location last year.

Squash

Our 2025 garden was incredible when it came to squash. We harvested a lot of yellow summer squash, green zucchinis, patty pans, and eggplant. This year, we harvested around a dozen total. If we had only a couple of plants, this number would be fine; however, we had more than 20 plants in the garden. This was very disappointing.

Grass/Weeds

Perhaps the biggest issue of all and what can be blamed for most things not going right is grass regrowing in the garden. We thought we had the problem licked before we started planting this year, but by mid-June, it was already back with a vengeance. And it wasn’t just grass. We have these really tall weeds that have popped up everywhere in the garden. They’re really easy to pull, thankfully, but there’s no stopping them once they start. The grass/weeds caused issues for our tomatoes and peppers, and it was a general nuisance given how easily it took over all areas of the garden.

Life Distractions

This category isn’t directly related to the garden, but the results of it led to me not devoting as much time or attention to the garden as I wanted to. Back in May, I had an unexpected and awful visit from my mom and stepdad. The encounter and everything that followed created big-time ripples for more than a month, and it distracted me. I wasn’t focused on weeding as much as I needed to be, didn’t fertilize with any consistency, and even cut corners with watering. Even though I didn’t have control over the situation that led to the distractions, I shouldn’t have let the distractions affect me the way they did.

Things That Went Right

Fencing

But not everything has been bad with our garden this year, and even our fence has had some positives. There are two key positives. One is that apart from rabbits, the fence did a great job of keeping animals out of the garden. As long as the fence stays upright and at its full height, other animals have been kept out. The other positive is that the fence stayed in good enough condition that we can reuse it next year. Last year’s fence got so torn up that we knew we’d need to replace it this year. Apart from a few small tears, the only damage to our fence is the holes rabbits chewed in it. It’s great to know that we don’t have to find an entirely new fence solution for next year’s garden.

Seed Starting and Transplanting

We had amazing success with starting seeds and transplanting the starts out into the garden. There were only 2 varieties that failed to germinate: Mexican Sweet Gherkin cucumbers and the Turk’s Turban winter squash. Everything else germinated well, either inside or in the garden, and did well once they were transplanted into the garden. These positives will be applied to next year’s garden to have continued success.

Sunflowers

We successfully grew sunflowers for the first time in our gardening life. Previous attempts ended in animals getting to them before the heads could develop. This year, though, they’ve grown exceptionally well. Our Mammoth sunflowers are between 6 and 10 feet tall with huge, 10-inch heads. We also have a short, Teddy Bear variety that has grown smaller but fuzzier heads. We grew a third variety, but neither of us can remember its name, but it’s a medium-height variety with smaller, traditionally shaped heads. We love being able to look out the windows and see the sunflowers standing tall and vibrant.

Corn & Beans

For the second straight year, we’ve had good success with corn. All of the varieties grew, even though some didn’t reach full height and failed to produce ears. Part of this had to do with the weeds that grew in that bed. But the ones that did reach full height grew decent-sized ears. The next step will be growing larger, fuller ears.

This year was the first time that we’ve had a great bean harvest. All of the varieties we grew did well, and we’ve even been able to pick shelling beans for the first time ever. We currently have a few Mason jars on the kitchen window sill that contain dry beans we grew.

Grow Bags

We grew our potatoes in grow bags this year and have done very well, with us already pulling potatoes from 2 of the bags. We’re certainly going to grow potatoes in them again next year. We’re also likely to grow other plants in them next year, such as peppers. We’ve had struggles with peppers in the garden this year, but the 4 plants we have in a bag are thriving.

What We’re Improving

So, we’re clearly not satisfied with where our garden is and have found areas of improvement for 2027. One area we’re focusing on is the fence. I’ve mentioned that we’re going to stick with the fence we’ve used this year. However, we’re going to improve it by buying 18-inch or 24-inch chicken wire fencing to attach to the bottom of the existing fence. This will provide an added layer of security against rabbits that are less likely to be able to chew through metal. It’s not exactly a foolproof plan, but it’s better than what we currently have.

We’re attempting to permanently address the grass and weed situation with tarps. We’ve had success killing small sections of grass in the garden with cardboard sheets, and so far, the grass hasn’t grown back in those areas. We’re doubling down on this idea by using large, 12’x20′ tarps to kill the grass in entire beds. We’ve started this process in our squash bed, which was one of the most affected by weeds this year. We haven’t checked its progress yet, but we’re confident that it could finally allow us to get ahead of the grass and weeds. If it works, we’re going to buy additional tarps for the rest of the beds.

We’re likely going back to where everything grew in 2025, with the only exception possibly being the corn and beans, which grew really well in their bed this year. Our tomatoes, melons, and pumpkins are all going back to their previous beds, and we’re going to work to make the squash bed from this year more nutrient-rich.

Even though it’s been a disappointing year for gardening, we still have plenty of reasons to look forward to 2027. We generally have an idea of what went wrong this year and feel confident that we can fix things. We’re going to appreciate and enjoy the fall and winter, but we’ll certainly be excited for next spring.

September 2, 2026 0

Making Progress With Peppers

Peppers have proven to be the most frustrating vegetable to grow. We didn’t harvest any peppers last year despite growing several varieties. This year has been much of the same. I started a bunch of seeds inside and transferred them outside. They did decently for the first couple of weeks after being transplanted before inconsistent weather, grass, and pests took most of them down. This has been extra frustrating, because when we had a container garden in 2022, we successfully grew jalapeno and banana peppers. So, what has been going wrong, and what progress do I allude to in the title of this post?

I think the problems with our pepper plants can be separated into two categories: failure points that I had control over and ones that were out of my control. What was in my control is pretty obvious. Annoyingly, grass took over our garden this year despite spending time and money spraying everything with glyphosate last fall before winter arrived. When we planted this spring, the grass was dead but slowly came back until it took over everything. For a while, I tried to keep up with it, but I lost steam (and the battle). With grass at the base of the pepper plants, it allowed mildew and fungus to take root, and they soon died. The other part that was in my control was insects and pests. In early summer, I became overwhelmed by the garden and didn’t keep up with spraying for bugs. This led to insect problems throughout the garden, but especially for the peppers, where the plants soon had leaves and leaves with holes.

Then there’s the issue of weather. Pepper plants love heat and sunshine. However, Pennsylvania weather isn’t always the most cooperative, so we had a cool and wet spring, a week or so of really hot temperatures, and then a summer of average temperatures. It’s not something you can control, but it’s very frustrating when you don’t get the weather necessary for plants to thrive. Of the plants that were transplanted into the garden beds, we lost all but two of them, one bell pepper plant and one habanero plant.

The bell pepper plant didn’t grow very tall and remains only about 12 inches tall. This means that the leaves are barely above the ground and grass, and only one fruit is on the plant. The variety we’re growing will be red when fully ripe, but it’s still green, so who knows if it will mature to the point where it can be eaten. The habanero plant has been much better. It also isn’t very tall, but for hot pepper plants, this is okay. The plant has put three or four peppers on them. One had bug bites and bruises on it, I harvested one, a third one is close to being ripe, and there is at least one more on the plant. We haven’t eaten the picked one yet, but it’s so exciting that I finally was able to harvest a fully ripe hot pepper.

That’s not all, though. About a month ago, I transplanted four gochugarju pepper plants into a grow bag, and they’ve taken off. All four are healthy, have grown to 24 inches tall, and have flowers and baby fruit on them. As long as we get normal weather in September, we’ll be able to harvest at least one of the peppers. So, why is this a big deal? I think anytime we work at something and have struggles, it’s always a reward to have a win. Whether it’s finally playing a riff you’ve spent months learning or you successfully cut dovetails, it’s an accomplishment to finally achieve something you’ve worked so hard to learn. For me, growing peppers in an otherwise tough year for gardening is a big win. It allows me to take the lessons I’ve learned this year and apply them moving forward.

Is there a plant that you struggle with? If so, what is it, and were you able to finally beat the struggles? I’d love to hear from you.

August 25, 2026 0

NCT 127’s New Era

On August 24, NCT 127 released their first album in 2 years, Blingy. After such a long time and a plethora of changes, I wondered if this band, whom I found at the beginning of introduction to KPop, would still feel the same?

I was introduced to NCT 127, one day listening to the KPop station of Sirius XM, while mowing the grass. This was back in the summer of 2022. The station served up Sticker and I was hooked. From that point, I fell down the rabbit hole that is the Neo Zone and became a NCT’zen. I experienced the 2 Baddies, 1 Porsche era, Baggy Jeans, and the beginning of their solo era to prepare for the military hiatus of their leader Taeyong. It was an interesting wave of music, and change ups.

But as life, the positive momentum turned into waves of chaos. NCT 127 gave me the first taste of a band managing military service and staying active. It was weird, Taeyong and Jaehyun are two of my favorite performers in the band, the band without them felt a bit hollow, until I realized that new members fill in the void. One band, one sound. I began to notice the voices that had been the background all along – Yuta, Jungwoo, Haechan, Doyoung, and Johnny.

Another wave built beyond the breakers, waves of solo albums to pass the time with range beyond my expectation. Haechan’s melodies, Yuta’s J-Rock edge, and Taeyong’s vocal fry were the sounds I began to appreciate as colors of the NCT 127 rainbow. Neo’s got your back, even in the rain.

This band is resilient. Two scandals, two members down, and they seem sharper than ever. Even though they are still dancing the final number of the military hiatus shuffle, they are stronger than ever. For their 10th anniversary they have comeback and reclaimed their identity.

I really like Blingy. The album has range and fighting spirit. We even get a track of all seven members reunited for a moment (recorded before Jungwoo and Doyoung began their service). The five members who carry the rest of Blingy’s sound, have weathered the road blocks, with sophistication and range. Each voice shines, the melodies are cleaner, and the chaotic noise music style of this experiemental band has been fine tuned by these limitations. I don’t miss Mark or Taeil for a second.

This gives me hope as the Stray Kids military era could begin at any time now. BTS had such a messy military era and their return has been, odd and featured a strange display of values. It’s the Chris Brown of it all, and a pinch of personal schedules that feels disjointed from the pre-military service BTS. With all that NCT has gone through, it would be understandable for the band to be unrecognizable, instead they remain familiar, and feel stronger. Instead of the change subtracting from their sound, it has intensified the flavor. My hope is that however SKZ navigates this upcoming change, they will take a page from NCT.

L to R: Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, Haechan, and Jaehyun

August 24, 2026

A Sea Of Shifting Sand

The more I feel like I should suppress my feelings about something, the more I feel it pressing upon my heart to be bold and talk about it. Can you relate?

I feel like my world has been swirling around me since 2024. Change. Good or bad, I never feel prepared. Leveling up in life, it is rewarding yet sometimes it is more akin to biking up hill and shifting gears downward for the tough pedaling ahead. And I wonder if there are more people feeling this way?

My early thirties have been incredibly rewarding – buying a house, adopting a rabbit, building a garden, successfully sewing pants, etc. But they have also been a sea of shifting sand globally, professionally, and personally.

We all know the public, political bad – the orange fool that has put us all on blast for 2 years. The price of everything, including yarn & fabric has challenged my professional goals because it is so expensive. It zapped my creativity and threw me off my game. I mean, how can I feel inspired to create when neighbors are being kidnapped and put into concentration camps, and our tax dollars are going to fund a war and a genocide. It’s dark. Like where is the joy when that is happening and your “representatives” are trying to silence your right to vote?

I basically took a year off from sewing to regroup, picking up my thimble again this August. I threw my focus into yarn crafts – knitting and crochet, pondering what my plan is going to be to fight for what is right. It’s been humbling to understand that I can help and also this whole situation is systemic, and will be far more difficult to get to the bottom of then I realized. But game on.

AI and the poor economy has been discouraging to my professional goals of becoming a pattern designer. I would like to be a full time, fiber artist, that is bringing in money. But AI has been a one two punch of stealing work and stealing engagement of artists everywhere. It has made creativity feel hopeless, and sharing work online, like I am contributing to a malevolent overlord.

AI and data centers are like a curse dropped into our lives, disrupting what worked and what gave us joy. Now, we have to fight for our water, environment, and creative expression. I know we humans will win this one. I fully believe AI is a fad that will cause a bunch of damage and then collapse – like mining and steel, it is just going to be messy in the present and future.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the personal complexities of marriage, healing from childhood trauma together, and the doom spiral of parents having health issues and also toxic parents dropping in to rock your world. I have felt some days like nothing feels familiar. Some days, this healing journey that Kyle and I are together has feel like a canyon, spreading between us, and we’ll never rejoin on the same road again. It has been so weird.

Why doesn’t anyone prepare you for how hard marriage is? Or how outside forces and generational cycles can seriously fight the strong bond you have with your spouse. I feel like he and I have been in the trenches on one of these outside problems for a decade now, and I just want us to be able to climb out of this together and walk home hand in hand, but people are complicated and so for now, we keep holding on together and waiting for the hard work to be over.

I have never tried so hard across so many different relationships, and tasks (gardening, house responsibilities, social media marketing) to grow and succeed just for things to unravel over and over again. I have felt like I am on a boat that cartoonishly keeps springing leaks, and I am out of limbs and props, to stop the leaks. Some days I wish the cartoon rapids would just appear already so I can sail over the waterfall and smash the boat to bits, because my best efforts feel so futile. I get burnt out and want a change. Because perseverance is exhausting. Choosing to be hopeful and keep going can feel like a cruel joke.

What has shaken me to the core though, and I’m nervous to talk about, is the way the church doesn’t feel like the church to me. My churching friends have become far too comfortable with Christian Nationalism and it is freaking me out. The blind eye to suffering, and the hyper fixation on “sins” that are not sins. I have always found it baffling that the concept of a person in the church getting a divorce, or seeing Catholic believers as “real” Christians is controversial to some people. It’s those kind of opinions that get canonized by the group, that are so destructive.

That’s not even dipping our toes into the sexism, purity culture, and racism that has been alive for centuries. Seeing how normal this is, has been infuriating to me. It has made me feel like I don’t know where I belong anymore. And to be honest, has awoken real life pain of never feeling good enough to be a “good Christian” to some because my parents divorced.

To be clear, I 100% believe in God and that God is good, and that it is the church, the humans, that are taking things to a bad place. I’d like to elaborate more on these reflections in another post, because I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like I am at risk of being sucked into the corruption in these normally “safe” spaces.

It’s not what I thought the church and my christian friends would become. The corruption is running rampant here, and I hate it. But this is not the first, and won’t be the last, because constant sanctification is needed to continually keep our focus on what is important – loving others as God loves us.

I have a ton of stuff to work through, and I am so far from perfect. I just want to open up about things I have been too afraid to open up about because of the highly controlling religious school settings I have found myself in as a kid, and no I did not go to Catholic school, I went to very Calvinist leaning private schools.

So we’ll see if I am brave enough to keep unpacking. I think we all just need to air this stuff out to move forward as the body of Christ in a healthier place, that is not wrapped in a fake cloak of hidden sin and cyclical shame of those who want to talk about the sin being tolerated, because the church in America is fine with teaming up with the political machine and money chasing.

This was a rambling one, but if you stuck through, I appreciate you.

August 20, 2026