Category: AI

AI Overviews and Renaming the Things

I feel like my brain is getting stuck in a quagmire of stupidity in 2026, like wet concrete under the feet of my thoughts when I am writing a blog post or crafting a conversation. It’s not because of using AI that is melting my brain, instead I feel like my brain is constantly having to jump through hoops to navigate the day’s new nonsense. I’ll explain.

Okay, so you’re having a quick search, ideally Duck Duck Go but habits die hard, so I Google only to be bombarded by AI overviews. Now comes the first hoop to jump through, remember to scroll down and ignore the overview to find a reliable source, scroll, scroll…then find a source to reference. Remember how a few years ago you could get Google search results, indexed and organized? Remember how simple that was? The mental effort required to find what you were looking for was streamlined, and now it is not, unless you want the “AI overview” which is nothing more than Google ripping information from the sources and digesting it for you, no matter how inaccurate they are. Creating more chaos, and more barriers to understanding. To be honest, maybe we were idiotic to leave the physical sources in the first place. Microfilm and archives are time consuming, but at least they are organized and unchanging.

For an example of how flawed this new overview format is, I present Dejeon Love. I recommend you look it up, because it is complex. For a reliable overview, I’d recommend Ashley Viola’s commentary on this. In short, Dejeon Love is a scammer, who was able to pad his online persona with so many videos claiming he was a San Francisco player, that it tricked the Google AI Overview. Why does this matter? When his victims searched for him, AI Overview confirmed the lie, and therefore it gave him credit. How disgusting is that? I personally think Google should be held accountable for assisting Love scam 1.3 million USD from 26 women, but of course they won’t be, because this is “the future”.

The other nonsense that is melting our brains day after day is the renaming game being facilitated by Google Maps, an 80 year toddler with a pen, and weak sauce government officials. First we had the Gulf of America in 2025, now we have the Lake of America, and now the state of New America, which I am sure Google Maps will bend over for that one. Aa long as the Kleptocracy of 2026 continues to line Google’s pockets, they will be whoring themselves out for it. I mean the scam worked for Elon, Meta, just give in for the money right? Who cares if it dilutes and corrupts your product, with legal and safety consequences. That seems to be of no concern, because they’ll just tell the machine to propagandize its safety. Case in point, the new Meta ads claiming its safety, while Meta in court over a lawsuit of the contrary.

My mind is so tired of critical thinking this much, over analyzing, factchecking things that used to be reliable, just to communicate the most basic things in 2026, because we have given into nonsense and the dissolution of standards. What are we doing to ourselves?! How will future generations view this time period? The regurgiation  of everything era? The Golden Age of AI Slop? Honestly, I hope the state of New Mexico, which is the only governing body that can name itself, uses this as an opportunity to rename itself Nuevo Mexico, and educate our nation of its longer history in North America. The capital city of Santa Fe was founded in 1610, that is 166 years before America was created by the Declaration of Independence.

There are so many things, lofty things, we could be doing instead of debating the names of things that can’t be changed. Or how about how all the things we are having to debate because one person is doing things that he can’t do, with powers he doesn’t have? Or how about the time wasted everyday getting around the AI tools that have been integrated into our lives, slowing things down and stealing our resources? It is a quagmire, draining our focus and mental energy to avoid these idiotic improvements. I mean, after the Lake Ontario incident, how many of downloaded Map Quest? It’s not easy to use! I’m tired of this. Must we leave technology behind to escape this farce of progress? I hope not, for all the resources extracted to create this system that was helpful, that has been made more difficult to use, over and over again.

I’m just a girl, who hates change, especially when it is useless change. Do you agree?

A Sea Of Shifting Sand

The more I feel like I should suppress my feelings about something, the more I feel it pressing upon my heart to be bold and talk about it. Can you relate?

I feel like my world has been swirling around me since 2024. Change. Good or bad, I never feel prepared. Leveling up in life, it is rewarding yet sometimes it is more akin to biking up hill and shifting gears downward for the tough pedaling ahead. And I wonder if there are more people feeling this way?

My early thirties have been incredibly rewarding – buying a house, adopting a rabbit, building a garden, successfully sewing pants, etc. But they have also been a sea of shifting sand globally, professionally, and personally.

We all know the public, political bad – the orange fool that has put us all on blast for 2 years. The price of everything, including yarn & fabric has challenged my professional goals because it is so expensive. It zapped my creativity and threw me off my game. I mean, how can I feel inspired to create when neighbors are being kidnapped and put into concentration camps, and our tax dollars are going to fund a war and a genocide. It’s dark. Like where is the joy when that is happening and your “representatives” are trying to silence your right to vote?

I basically took a year off from sewing to regroup, picking up my thimble again this August. I threw my focus into yarn crafts – knitting and crochet, pondering what my plan is going to be to fight for what is right. It’s been humbling to understand that I can help and also this whole situation is systemic, and will be far more difficult to get to the bottom of then I realized. But game on.

AI and the poor economy has been discouraging to my professional goals of becoming a pattern designer. I would like to be a full time, fiber artist, that is bringing in money. But AI has been a one two punch of stealing work and stealing engagement of artists everywhere. It has made creativity feel hopeless, and sharing work online, like I am contributing to a malevolent overlord.

AI and data centers are like a curse dropped into our lives, disrupting what worked and what gave us joy. Now, we have to fight for our water, environment, and creative expression. I know we humans will win this one. I fully believe AI is a fad that will cause a bunch of damage and then collapse – like mining and steel, it is just going to be messy in the present and future. 

What I wasn’t prepared for was the personal complexities of marriage, healing from childhood trauma together, and the doom spiral of parents having health issues and also toxic parents dropping in to rock your world. I have felt some days like nothing feels familiar. Some days, this healing journey that Kyle and I are together has feel like a canyon, spreading between us, and we’ll never rejoin on the same road again. It has been so weird.

Why doesn’t anyone prepare you for how hard marriage is? Or how outside forces and generational cycles can seriously fight the strong bond you have with your spouse. I feel like he and I have been in the trenches on one of these outside problems for a decade now, and I just want us to be able to climb out of this together and walk home hand in hand, but people are complicated and so for now, we keep holding on together and waiting for the hard work to be over.

I have never tried so hard across so many different relationships, and tasks (gardening, house responsibilities, social media marketing) to grow and succeed just for things to unravel over and over again. I have felt like I am on a boat that cartoonishly keeps springing leaks, and I am out of limbs and props, to stop the leaks. Some days I wish the cartoon rapids would just appear already so I can sail over the waterfall and smash the boat to bits, because my best efforts feel so futile. I get burnt out and want a change. Because perseverance is exhausting. Choosing to be hopeful and keep going can feel like a cruel joke.

What has shaken me to the core though, and I’m nervous to talk about, is the way the church doesn’t feel like the church to me. My churching friends have become far too comfortable with Christian Nationalism and it is freaking me out. The blind eye to suffering, and the hyper fixation on “sins” that are not sins. I have always found it baffling that the concept of a person in the church getting a divorce, or seeing Catholic believers as “real” Christians is controversial to some people. It’s those kind of opinions that get canonized by the group, that are so destructive.

That’s not even dipping our toes into the sexism, purity culture, and racism that has been alive for centuries. Seeing how normal this is, has been infuriating to me. It has made me feel like I don’t know where I belong anymore. And to be honest, has awoken real life pain of never feeling good enough to be a “good Christian” to some because my parents divorced.

To be clear, I 100% believe in God and that God is good, and that it is the church, the humans, that are taking things to a bad place. I’d like to elaborate more on these reflections in another post, because I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like I am at risk of being sucked into the corruption in these normally “safe” spaces.

It’s not what I thought the church and my christian friends would become. The corruption is running rampant here, and I hate it. But this is not the first, and won’t be the last, because constant sanctification is needed to continually keep our focus on what is important – loving others as God loves us.

I have a ton of stuff to work through, and I am so far from perfect. I just want to open up about things I have been too afraid to open up about because of the highly controlling religious school settings I have found myself in as a kid, and no I did not go to Catholic school, I went to very Calvinist leaning private schools.

So we’ll see if I am brave enough to keep unpacking. I think we all just need to air this stuff out to move forward as the body of Christ in a healthier place, that is not wrapped in a fake cloak of hidden sin and cyclical shame of those who want to talk about the sin being tolerated, because the church in America is fine with teaming up with the political machine and money chasing.

This was a rambling one, but if you stuck through, I appreciate you.

Thank You

I hope, dear reader, you know how much this WordPress community means to me. I have shared before how frustrating it is to share my designs on Instagram, how I have chased the algorithm and have been disappointed over and over by the shifting sands of Meta. The algorithm has felt even more desolate lately, not even showing my posts with my friends. It feels like yelling into a void. I feel like the rat in a cage from a Bullet with Butterfly Wings.

The reason why I started sharing my work on my Facebook and Instagram when I began sewing and picked up knitting again in the 2020, was to connect with others and find community. I’m tired of my feed drowning in advertisement, and feeling disconnected from others when they post and I post because we are not monetizing our every post. I don’t want to sell you anything. I want to inspire and learn together. I want to make art. I want to not feel alone, just like we all do.

WordPress has been the exception and your community makes me feel hopeful that in the AI Slop, short-form content, linked-below hellscape that is the internet right now, that we can still be there for each other. Thank you for every view, every like, every comment. You mean the world to me. Being an artist right now sucks, but you all make it magical.

I have been making a lot, organizing my work room, finding a lot of inspiration from like-minded folks on the internet and listening to good music. My favorites recently have been Haute & Freddy and rediscovering The Smashing Pumpkins after their amazing Lollapalooza performance. I wish you a lovely Friday! Until next time ❤

Pivot! An Important Sewing Skill

Okay, as a millennial, I can’t hear the word pivot without thinking of this scene from Friends. But, silliness aside, Ross was correct; you have to pivot and pivot well. The longer I sew, the more agitated I get when I make foolish cutting or measuring mistakes in my garments. Like my shortalls from last year, I tried them on over the weekend because it is feeling warm and springlike here, and I was shocked by how poorly I fit the shorts. The top portion of the shorts fits excellently, but not the shorts. No one wants weird bunching when it comes to shorts, and that was exactly the problem!

At first, I went through the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance that no matter how delusional I chose to be, these shortalls are uncomfortable. I would not wear them. This made me feel so many regrets. The pink overalls I drafted completely from scratch, using a special fabric featuring corgis and bread from a Japanese fabric brand called Kokka Fabric, sourced from my local fabric shop, Firecracker Fabrics. The second pair was cobbled together as a challenge of fabric and repurposing. The fabric was 1 yard of 59″ cotton twill from Mood Fabrics, and the pockets were sourced from a pair of shorts in my closet. I refused to scrap these. But what could I do to fix these? With all the patterns at play, adding in a new fabric sounded scary. Cutting these into bags or future quilting projects was throwing in the towel too soon for me.

My solution came to me one night, as I was washing my face; I didn’t have to make a drastic change. I had to address the problem – the way I cut the curve of the pants. I could remove the section that divided the fabric into legs, and transform the shortalls into pinafore dresses with a few cuts and stitches! It was a success! The shorts are now a skirt, by cutting away the curved line and sewing a straight seam on the back and front of the skirt. I also made a quick swap to the back bib of the brown floral pair, adjusting the square bib to the triangle shape of the pink ones. This adjusted the fit of the dress in an excellent way. The purpose of the triangle, I believe, from the fit change on my garment is to eliminate gapping between your shirt and the back bib, so the fit follows the line of your body.

Now, sewing is not the only place to pivot, obviously. Problem-solving is a fundamental part of the creative process. Projects rarely work out the way you want, from knitting to cooking to building a piece of furniture. In this fast fashion, consume and donate, culture poisoning my country’s culture, we are losing the art of problem-solving. This has been exacerbated by the rise of AI and ChatGPT. Why think at all? Why imagine, ponder, or research? Why try if you aren’t going to get “expert” results? That is what the rise of optimization culture is creating: the fear of trying. But you have to try to become an expert. AI is not an expert; it is a thief, stealing the knowledge of humans who have spent years and decades striving to know, unafraid to try and fail. It’s literally the scientific method. So if you are an impressionable person, who is growing up in this current era, don’t give up your creative ability for AI to do it for you. You will lose crucial thinking and creative skills if you don’t exercise your mind and problem-solve on your own. Just do it.

Sewing Tips that Changed My Life

I’ve been sewing for five and a half years, and yes, it took me close to that amount of time to learn these helpful tips. The skill of taking a needle and thread to fasten pieces of fabric together is one of the most complex technologies I’ve ever learned, and yeah, some of the more obvious things can go over your head because there is so much to learn. Even with half a decade of sewing experience, I am still a rookie. Here are four things I have learned about sewing recently that have changed my sewing experience from a laborious struggle to a relaxing craft I want to do.

Needles

I knew I needed to change out my sewing machine needle consistently (which I usually forget to do), but did you know you should change out your hand needles often? Nope, I did not. I recently began changing my needles after each large project or after two small projects, and wow, the difference in hand fatigue is mind-blowing! My issue with sewing by hand has been the wear and tear on my hands, particularly some on my finger joints, which felt exhausted after hours of pushing the needle through the fabric – apparently that’s not how it is supposed to be. The needle should glide; cheap needles or needles that are dulled from use will not do this. I feel like a silly goose.

Now that I know and have experienced the difference between fresh needles and started purchasing DMC needles from my local fabric shop, I am sewing more. Most importantly, my hands are happy, my stitches are small and straighter – it’s like night and day. The needle glides into the fabric and through to the other side with minimal pressure, my thread is not getting tangled, and I am sewing with more efficiency. If you sew, go change your needles.

Shear Maintenance

Did you know you should oil and sharpen your fabric shears? I did not. It’s such a simple concept, though. Own thing, use thing, repair thing, use thing more. Repeat. What’s silly is that, in our disposable culture, I thought fabric scissors had a lifespan and had to be replaced once they dulled from wear. But regular maintenance, like a car, keeps them around and working well.

I keep my scissors crisp by cutting aluminum foil from time to time. I oil my shears with a towel, very carefully. Please don’t cut yourself like I did the first time.

Know About Me: Fabric Edition

Kill the doubt, I don’t want it, kill the fear, I don’t want it
Kill the rule, I don’t want it, kill the end, I don’t want it

Let me show you that, show you that, mm-mm
Know about me…

Let me show you that, show you that, mm-mm
Know about me (know about me, that’s that)

– Nmixx, Fe:304 Forward

Researching fabric is important, but when you are first getting started, you feel overwhelmed and like you’ll never be able to cram all this knowledge into your head. There are a lot of fabric types! With two main families – woven and knit that separate into a myriad of options that will make your head spin. But truly, what will make your head spin more is not buying the proper fabric for the project at hand, with one caveat being in the beginning. When you are truly beginning, you just gotta see what is cheap or available because you are going to mess up – don’t use the good or expensive stuff to keep yourself from heartbreak.

I’ve started researching any fabric I am looking at to know if this textile will be applicable for the idea I have in my head, and pivot based on the information I glean. I thought it would be time-consuming, but it’s not. It saves money and fabric from being wasted in the chaos of choosing an incompatible fabric for your garment plan. You don’t want a stretch when you need a structured fabric. When you need opaqueness, a sheer fabric would throw a wrench in your plans. Fabrics, like people, have their own character, attributes, and talents. It’s more of a matchmaking process than just adding to the cart.

Ask a human. Ask a reputable website. Don’t ask ChatGPT. OpenAI is a little busy now with its Department of War contract, but don’t worry, they “promise” not to do mass surveillance or help create automatic weapons.

Hand Posture

I learned this final tip from Abby Cox and Nicole Rudolph during a TikTok Sewing Tutorial Reaction video. Sewing hand posture will determine your sewing experience. Whether you can sew for hours or for half an hour before you need a break. I used to sew with a hand-straining posture that created wrist, hand, and finger discomfort. Pulling the needle to the side, horizontally, reduces strain compared to pulling upward. It uses a light wrist flicking motion. Similarly, holding the fabric to the side with your wrist loosely bent will keep your hands relaxed and reduce hand strain. I have applied this new hand posture to my sewing, and it was a game-changer. I’m not surprised that I was doing it wrong. I am self-taught, but dang, the ability to sew a pair of pants by hand without hand strain was incredible!

I hope these sewing tips help you as much as they helped me. I wish you happy sewing!

How I am Preparing to Leave Pinterest, if OpenAI Buys Them

I want to start off by pleading with Pinterest, please don’t work with OpenAI. (I know this is purely a rumor, but even so, I think using the internet to voice opinions is important.) I have been using your platform since 2012, and it is so useful! It has become less useful over time, with the “purely financial” decisions of peppering in a multitude of advertising pins and allowing AI-generated art to invade the platform. Even so, it is still a platform I use and love to escape into for inspiration.

Without Pinterest, creative writing projects like Udal Cuain, knitting colorwork projects, sewing projects, and home decor ideas would have been more difficult to source and may not have been on my radar – ever. I’ve even learned simplified versions of songs to play on the piano before I bought proper books, for free through Pinterest. Now what about fandoms? On really difficult days, my Stray Kids board is filled with memes, SKZ Code, captured moments from lives, silly edits, and STAY inside jokes that would not exist in one place to make me smile.

I don’t want to leave Pinterest at all, but there comes a time when we must make a stand for what is right – if you integrate with OpenAI, as rumors have thrown around, many other like-minded individuals, and I will leave because, as artists, we will not stand for the theft being carried out by generative AI of our work. Art is human. Generative AI is regurgitation. Art is for an audience of many; AI-generated art is for an audience of one. Human-made art has emotion; AI-generated art is the result of algorithmic decisions. AI-generated things are not new; they are not groundbreaking. They are human effort and human creativity scraped by these computers and served up as “new” all while consuming vast amounts of electricity and clean water, for nothing but perceived “innovation” that makes these tech bros wealthier. It gives nothing to humanity; it feeds the greed of the few. Alright, that’s enough of looking into the abyss for me.

How do I plan to make this change if Pinterest is bought by OpenAI?

  • Crafting Books
  • Used Books, Magazines, and Catalogs
  • Respectful Fan Accounts on Instagram
  • Physical Notebooks
  • Migrating to Milanote
  • Blogs and Research
  • Building a Creative 3rd Place Elsewhere
  • Creating Your Own Charts
  • Physical Moodboards
  • Acknowledging Frustration
  • Diving into History
  • Utilizing Libraries

Yes, we’ll be going back to analog inspirations, like going back to the 1990s and 2000s. I’ll be crafting even slower, researching longer, and spending more time digging to learn how to do new techniques like fillet crochet or how to paint using gouache paints, but that’s okay. At least it will be honest inspiration. In time, we will all come back together through a new creative community platform, and it will be a bit of a waste of time. So, Pinterest, put these rumors to bed, please, because when it comes to AI, we artists mean business, and you will be left behind.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk ❤

Maybe Fiction Isn’t the Best Way to Express the Art?

With a new year comes new goals, like should I get organized and make this the year I return to writing as my full-time focus? I’ve been mulling over this for the past six months. I started watching more book-focused media and picked up physical books again, all in the quest to jump back into fiction writing after a one-time try in 2017 – also known as Udal Cuain. It was the ultimate escape during a time when every part of my life was falling apart, and we were struggling. My family was struggling; it was isolating, but instead, I crafted a world that I could escape into. I couldn’t afford therapy, so I wrote about what was on my mind. And it helped. It felt like a high I had never experienced before, but then it stopped helping. Life got a lot more complicated, but also better, more on track, and I walked away from it. Then I lost the draft for 6 years until I found it last January.

Life has been messy again, and the world feels like it is literally on fire, and I can feel the pull to want a coping mechanism.

This is where our story begins.

As I share often on this blog, I have become a sewist and fiber artist. I began this journey to a career pivot after a layoff in 2020, and it has become my whole world, particularly knitting and crochet. I find the more I dive into the craft of yarn, the more I feel creative release and the ability to tell stories with my stitches. You can even protest with it. I have been a visual artist my whole life, the frequency depending on how many notebooks, pencils, or paints I have access to. It is my first love. So where does writing fit in?

I was always a writer who enjoyed essays. I like writing about something, researching the subject, and I adore historical research. I enjoyed poetry in school, but my affection for literature came much later. Mainly by force, if you want to take AP English, you must read this many books over the summer. I’m still not the most passionate reader, I definitely take breaks between reading sprints, and sometimes I won’t pick up a book for months, because my hands are always busy with a project. This has put my desire to write another novel, a more polished one, in conflict with my life and potentially my calling.

This week, I sat down to brainstorm another round of novel ideas. This is my third or fourth round of this since 2023. Every time, I think of some good options, narrow my list down, start plotting, and hit a wall. My heart is not in it. I don’t see the characters or care to take my time to meet them. I want to get on with it and then analyze the deeper meaning. The other thing that happens regularly is that I freeze, and I think about how the world has changed since 2017 – mainly BookTok.

I don’t read Romantasy, I’m not going to write spice because that’s not my interest. Don’t look to me for trauma or disturbing plot lines; I don’t want to write that. I am white, cis, and straight, so will I offend by not having representation? I also don’t have the proper experience to offer diverse representation. I don’t know what I have to say in a book, like in a bigger picture – I don’t know what the deeper meaning is that I am looking to point to that I couldn’t just write about in an essay or create with visual or fiber art. This is where the title should start making sense. I don’t think worldbuilding and dialogue are my paint and canvas, and I don’t think we spend enough time considering where our gifts are best suited right now because of social media content.

We are so concerned with getting our work plugged into the algorithm, jumping on trends, cross-posting, and getting successful that we aren’t considering if the medium is best for our art. We are trying to fit in, and that’s killing creativity and the editing eye to know that’s not for me. I feel like it is obvious now, since reflecting on why I have writer’s block, but taking the time to look objectively feels so hard to do when we are fighting the AI monster. But it is okay to specialize. It is okay to find your niche and not appeal to everyone. It is better to work within your wheelhouse and say something authentically you and express it in a medium that feels true to yourself than worry about keeping up with others.

Maybe the best thing we can do as creative people is edit and focus on where we feel the most alive. I feel the most alive planning a personal knitting project that features motifs that represent my life and my loves. I love blogging and talking about serious things, not in literary techniques but in societal critique. I spent the day today, sketching and drafting pet portraits, and I am the most relaxed I have been in months. It’s the same high I felt writing Udal Cuain. I didn’t feel that way while brainstorming a novel. I felt nervous. So I don’t think it’s for me anymore.

Have you ever fallen into this trap? How did you find your way out? Thanks for spending time with me today. Until next time. Stay safe out there and know you are loved.

Why I Quit the Clique and Cliche of Twenty One Pilots

So it’s 2026, and if you’re online, there is a good chance you have seen the 2026 to 2016 posts. The nostalgia for 2016 is real, even making me look at one of the most volatile years of my life through rose-colored glasses. But even though the 2010s were full of change for me, beginning with my junior year of high school, and ending with 2019, globally leading us into the pandemic. How weird is that? I got my license, my high school diploma, traveled to Europe, graduated from college, got married, moved out, had my first job (more like jobs), tried to have a career, reunited with my dad, met my siblings, moved out of state, wrote a novel, and lost several loved ones in 2016. My family fractured – it was so much personal change! But even so, I miss the optimism of the hipster era. I miss the simplicity of the pre-AI era and the pre-social media domination of our world. We were less logged in, less screen addicted. I’ve been drawn to watching Portlandia again, yearning for a coffee shop to spend the day in while listening to indie music, a simpler time. This week, I’ve found myself walking down memory lane in the form of 2010’s alternative music. Bands I haven’t thought of for a decade – The Joy Formidable, Phantogram, Joywave, Bear Hands, Sir Sly, etc. But one band, I determined in this holiday, into nostalgia I will not listen to again, even though they were a band I loved in the 2010s – Twenty One Pilots.

This is a bit of an oddball post. I haven’t listened to Twenty One Pilots since 2018, but for a three-year stretch, they were my favorite band. I collected merch, CDs, and ate up the lore. The para-social relationship was built on mental health struggles, faith, and being “quirky” felt comfortable. I mean, this was the mid-2010s and the height of the “not like other girls” trope. I relished in the alternative feel of their music, what I now understand to be noise music, and the darkness I felt in my own life craved the outlet to plug into. Josh understood my shyness, and Tyler understood the anxiety and depression I was feeling at the time. It felt safe because they were “Christians” and their music had “biblical references,” but they were also questioning everything and challenging the void. I didn’t see at the time how much un-aliving yourself idealization there was in the nihilistic moments of their music. The more I listened to their music, the more depressed I felt, and that is where I began to wake out of the dream I was walking in. I haven’t seen them or their music the same way since.

I think right now, with all the ways Christianity is being watered down, misused for political manipulation, and trampled upon by religious fundamentalists, I don’t want to listen to a band that is “somewhat Christian” again. That is not an estimation of their music either; that is what I found when I looked at the TOP subreddit today. That sentiment reminded me of what turned me off the most from their music, Tyler’s waffling. Or should I say deconstructing? That was another discussion I found on the subreddit. Now it is only fair to discuss this, with my own struggles out in the open. There were some things that came to light in recent months about someone I know, who is a pastor, which contradict the Bible, and it made me furious. Combine that with the DHS sharing misquoted scripture to claim their racism and violence as a “holy” thing turned me into this character.

What has my spiritual life been like in 2025 and now in 2026? Clinging to who I know God is in the midst of all these evil, power-hungry syncophants. Have I been reading my Bible daily? No, I have been a slacker. Have I been praying consistently? Yes, more than I have been reading my Bible. Have I been avoiding Christian culture? Yes. Where have I found myself gravitating towards? People who are acting out their faith and non-believers acting in ways that mirror what the Bible calls us to do. Never in this muck and mire have I wanted to imagine a world without God. If anything, it has made me crave God’s presence in this world with more frequency. It has to be a real connection. Faith is not a feeling, and it is not something you choose one day and rip apart the next. It calls for trust and for submission to align every part of your life under what you believe in. Faith is telos. Faith does not exist in a vacuum, nor do our relationships. Some days, having faith in good triumphing over evil feels like an extremely radical thing. There is no space for indecision.

Now, Tyler is allowed to feel and think what he wants, as long as he is not hurting anyone. I don’t care. But do I think he is a good example? No. There is an immaturity to his faith. A fence sitting that is only hurting him. As Earl Smooter says in Sweet Home Alabama, “You can’t ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.” My need for conciseness and clarity is, for sure, part of my neurodivergence. I like it when people communicate directly. Honestly. I prefer the path laid out by another favorite artist.

I give life to my words
(Yeah, I’m doing what I say)
I reach heights from the dirt
(Yeah, I’m doing what I say)
You know I bite the way I bark
(Yeah, I’m doing what I say)
(Doing what I say, doing what I say)

Creed by Stray Kids

Decision matters. Being aligned with what you believe in, in every aspect of your life, which takes being truly honest with yourself, will bring mental peace. Mental peace was something I never personally felt from their music. I could feel the overthinking, tearing at the seams, the complete drifting in the current. It could be dressed up with lore or cringing lyrics, but the identity was never solid. Taking time away from their music gave me such relief. Ironically, my time of being part of the Clique was followed by a period of listening to mostly worship music for a few years before landing in K-pop. I think I personally matured out of the place where the Clique remains, waiting for identity. Where their leader remains. I think it is easier to not confront ourselves than it is, to have these times of personal crossexamination. But I think it’s a poor witness for your faith to never pick a side. How can something so integral to your life, your worldview, be left with unresolved doubt? What a loose end.

Deconstruct with integrity. Affirm your faith with integrity. I’m all in favor of confronting the church for its cowardice over injustice in America. Jesus showed us how. So did his servant Paul. But to leave it as a vague, Blurryface, is immature thinking. Through my research for this post, my searches for a clear answer about Tyler’s faith left me with more questions. Like a politician, it is vague and hard to define. Answers offered were that he can’t put it into words, he is wrestling, still defining, or can’t put it into words. What? More digging led to answers outlining TOP’s music as his way of communicating his search for understanding. To explore doubt by supposing a world without God – well, that’s why I found their music so dark! I am actively shaking my head. Again, there needs to be more maturity in songwriting, creative writing, philosophy – something to explore these themes with more nuance. I am just not impressed. Especially when you contrast Tyler’s exposition of his faith and the world we are living in, to the faith journeys of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. In summation, I find the faith and doubt of TOP to be cliché and played out. Go deeper. Tell us what you believe in, like fans have requested, concerning the genocide in Gaza.

Now, TOP fans, this is my opinion, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. None of this was written as an attack on you or your favorite group, just my honest reflection on a time of my life where Twenty One Pilots spoke to me. I’d say really the only part of this “lore” I’ve listened to is these four albums – Twenty One Pilots (2009), Vessel (2013), which was my favorite, Blurryface (2015 the album I started with, and Trench (2018), which I disliked so much I sold my concert tickets and donated my merch. You, Clique, have popularity on your side. I know I am in the minority, but I’m also in the minority of thinking Taylor Swift is a terrible songwriter, and that hasn’t stopped me.

What kind of music did you enjoy in the 2010s? Has your music taste changed? Thanks for spending time with me today, dear reader. Until next time ❤

#76 – Boredom in 2025

The biggest trend I think I’ve seen this year is the sentiment that everything feels boring right now. Whether it is fashion, film, or books, the art of storytelling is supposedly dead. This phenomenon has even crept into my unpredictable and exciting world of K-pop, and up until yesterday, I’d say I agreed. But as I sit here, I would like to put forth a different thesis.

Escapism from the Super Massive Blackhole

What if everything feels boring because you are running on empty? This year was the first time since discovering K-pop in 2022 that I felt bored and indifferent to my favorite bands. Some of this was due to outside forces beyond my control, like controversies, military service, and straight-up evil in the case of Taeil. Yet, some of this boredom, I believe, was caused by how much I was leaning on these safe spaces to find joy when nothing felt joyful or safe. There has been a constant pulse of uncertainty, like tectonic tremors, making us all question the point of it all. There is such a dreary air. A hopelessness, especially in people my age and younger, who are not able to reach milestones due to broken systems. Since I discovered the band Stray Kids, I run to their music for a safe place. But in 2025, I had stretches of time where even SKZ had no appeal. I had listened to every release over and over again until even their most addictive tracks had no appeal. I couldn’t believe how much I was craving a new album until a week before Karma released. As the week progressed, I could feel a hunger for a happy distraction. This year has been the first time my usual pick-me-ups have felt numb, and I wonder if one prong of this boredom we seem to be feeling isn’t coming from this exact situation.

To be honest, I think this could be why K-pop Demon Hunters exploded in popularity; it was new and fun when things seemed darker than ever. Same thing with Twice and their Lollapalooza performance, it was a night where everything felt normal for a second.

Have I Entertained You?

This attention economy is reminding me of that iconic line from Gladiator, and I don’t like what it is doing to art, music, storytelling, fashion, all of it. There is no room to reflect and craft something beautiful. We are pushing things too fast. I’ve been reflecting on this for a while. I see commentary on trends, relating to fashion, which usually goes something like – there is nothing new, everything and nothing is trending, yada, yada, yada. Sprinkle in a bit about clothing quality from the past, and the brain rot of the algorithm, which is killing creativity and subcultures because of a curated vitality. Like it’s a beast unleashed upon modernity, instead of stopping to think critically about it.

It’s obvious after some consideration that making things for vitality is not the same as making something to stand the test of time. Modern romance novels are being created for TikTok vitality first, and quickly, to keep up with the lazy decision of publishing houses to invest in AI over true writers. We blame the current author pool for a lack of creativity instead of holding publishing houses accountable for ruining their reputation through unethical practices. Because, truly, as an author, why would you feel inspired to create a story like Jane Austen when this is the current state of publishing? You could make a true work of art, and be rejected because they would rather steal work to create the same story through AI, or the publisher doesn’t want to take a chance on a good story when the algorithm is fickle and shallow.

Boring People Are Bored

AI is doing exactly what I expected; lazy people are becoming lazier, except that it is currently being rewarded. We used to know how to entertain ourselves. We used to know how to create, enjoy, and take pleasure in things, but I think AI is a snare that is making people boring, and it doesn’t have to. AI is an easy way out of daily life. It can be a friend, a relationship you don’t have to nurture, but is hollow. It can create art, but you will have no artistic skill of your own as a result. It can write you a book, without telling a story. It can create a music video, like JUMP for Blackpink, without any effort from the actual talent, and create a nightmare image of Rose with Jungkook’s facial structure. Do you see the pattern? It’s like cheating your way through school; it produces nothing and wastes precious resources, like time, or in the case of AI, drinking water and electricity.

Cringe > Innovation

What I have seen as the most flagrant accusation of boredom has been the dissonance of innovation and cringe. Let’s take, for example, Ceremony. It’s a song that has no chorus until the end of the song. It’s layered, has high production value, and features something new for Stray Kids and boy band offerings. But what do I see online? It’s awful. Stray Kids are braggy and loud, no talent. K-pop is boring; everything sounds the same. Except, Stray Kids, it’s too experimental. No wait, it sounds like all their other songs, yawn….etc. How can we have the audacity to complain about being bored while we punish bands for taking risks? It’s not just Stray Kids, I have seen similar criticism being launched at Nmixx, NCT, Ateez, Twice, Aespa…the list goes on.

It’s no different when it comes to the world of fiber arts. People complain about how crochet and knitting are getting boring and want new things to make, because everyone is knitting the same things, yet don’t branch out from a few massive pattern makers, like Sari Noorland, Petite Knit, and Andrea Mowry, to name a few. There are so many smaller creators crafting joyful patterns that would disrupt the slump, but no one wants to stand out these days.

I think as this year enters its final act, we should decide what we value more: being entertained? Or being authentic? Do you want to truly discover something new? Do you want to dig deeper for something fresh? It requires us to act, to search, and to participate, because we are allowing ourselves to become boring people, and it is spreading across culture, where it will stay unless we choose to be interesting again. I get it. This year has been demoralizing, and it’s made me feel like giving up many times, but there is always a reason to keep going. What if your big idea is the thing that makes this dull and dreary world sparkle again? You could be the change we need, so stop scrolling and find something that ignites passion in your heart once again!

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