Hello! Thank you reader for taking the time to check out my little corner of the internet. My name is Magz and I have a lot of hobbies. Some might say too many, but I prefer having things to keep busy.
Since my rocky post-grad start at building a career, I have learned to seek out skills and personal development to become a well-rounded person in times when I felt like I didn’t have a purpose. This began in 2016 when I created a blog called Muirin Project to fill the creativity void. From there I wrote an entire novel called Udal Cuain and spent time soaking up as much quality time with my grandparents before they both passed away in 2020. Along the way, I found a job that helped me understand how to manage an app and taught me that burnout at a dead-end job would not be my future.
During the lockdown, I was laid off, buried my grandpa, and threw my empty heart into creating. I made paper beads, hand-stamped greeting cards, starting knitting again, all while escaping into fashion history/sewing on Youtube. In the fall, I bought my first sewing kit which changed everything. At this high, was an incredible loss with my mentor and kindred spirit, my grandma, passing away too. I took the next two years to be a sewing apprentice for myself, cataloging my sewing journey on Instagram, which culminated in my first real collection being completed at the end of 2022 for my brand, Potato Technology.
In 2023, I have slowed down to dwell on what is next. My plan was to open a shop in 2023, but as this year unfolds, I don’t have the same peace about this being my next challenge. I have felt discouragement and confusion about the purpose of my skills will be. In the meantime, I have been learning Japanese and asking God to direct my path and show me what is next in my life. The answer that surprised me was “You should write again.”
This blog will be a little of this and a little of that, just like the way my life has taken shape. You will find blog posts, fictional stories, and my sewing journey featured just as it is on Instagram. I look forward to seeing where this little website takes us together. Slainte!
Oil Pastel on paper. Sketched in pencil. Wildflower, rock, and weeds as I remember them on a late April day or early May day. To be honest, this month has been so chaotic I can’t remember when I went to the creek to sketch.
This drawing was sketched with a live subject, on the trail beside the creek in real life with the real soundtrack of water, birds, and insects buzzing. It was the first time in many years that I had sketched in nature like that and it was wonderful.
Drawing in nature, not only cleared my mind but helped me immerse my mind in what I was doing. This process slowed everything down for me and reminded me to go back to basics in my artistic approach. To take the extra time to draw careful pencil lines to indicate details I wanted to preserve, like the levels of the rock. To have that impression committed to pencil and paper instead of relying on an image from a phone or drawing something from my imagination.
From muddy base to jagged peaks where the moss grows to the lines of the leaves on the Great Trillium plant. It helped me remember where the light was washing across the form and what was hidden by shadow. If you would like to see more of the wildflowers from that trail check out April Wildflowers.
What is your favorite thing to sketch outside? Do you like to draw small details or sweeping impressions of landscapes? Are you more of a still-life or landscape person? I’m a sucker for flowers. I love their infinite imagination and stunning wardrobe.
Materials: 1.5 yards of stretch knit jersey. A remnant cut of fabric. This pattern was self-drafted by draping on myself and adjusting the lines with pen marking. As this was the first garment in this series, there was more trial and error with cutting pieces out of the fabric to reduce waste.
Inspiration: I was inspired by the iconic 1970s wrap dress, designed by Diane Von Furstenburg. I originally planned a wrap dress but scrapped the plan due to a lack of fabric. Because of this, there was probably 1/8 of a yard of fabric left over. With more practice, I’d like to reduce that amount to smaller pieces of scrap leftover.
Cherry Henley Ribbed Top
Materials: 2 yards of stretch knit jersey and 6 buttons. It is a heavier weight jersey and feels like a light sweater. This was a remnant cut. I developed my first official bodice pattern from this process.
Inspiration: 1900s men’s buttoned henley baselayer tops from the gold rush era in the United States. Think “old western” dramas, Deadwood, or Red Dead Redemption. I cut it oversized to carry the theme of it being a men’s garment. During the cutting process, I was able to utilize almost all the fabric with only 2-inch scraps being left over.
Stormy Seas V-Neck Tunic Top
Materials: 2 yards of stretch knit jersey. To utilize as much of the fabric as possible, I chose to get creative with my pattern cutting. To do this, I pieced together the bottom and portions of the sleeves to use up almost all of the remnant, with 2in or less scrap pieces left over.
Inspiration: I was inspired by the design lines of early medieval tunics. I like the simplicity of the lines and the lengthening effect it has on my proportions. For more information about Viking Age tunics, I recommend checking out Project Broad Axe for historical recreations and additional background on the history of Viking Age tunics.
I remember sitting in Art class, the last class period of the day, half listening and half daydreaming, while my art teacher explained the fundamentals of art to my class. I recall perspective, positive and negative space, color, form, repetition, etc. I wished I had paid attention more because I realized I was forgetting an important one – the focal point.
As I previously mentioned in Koala Drawings in Pencil, I wanted to improve my drawing skills by sketching a muse that made me happy and would challenge me. I found my koala inspiration photos on Instagram from the account @gohachi__ which captured images of koalas with so much expression. In my first drawing Koala Scott in Oil Pastel, I mentioned I was thrilled by how it turned out! I loved how the inspiration photo gave me a great perspective of the image and was pleased with the oil pastels for the texture it gave to the image.
I hoped that my second koala drawing would produce the same result but this is not what happened, and it took me a while to figure out why. The original sketch had positive and negative space, and form, and had a focal point – the koala crawling across the main limb of the tree. But, once I added color through my oil pastels, the focal point became murky.
Now is this because I used the wrong medium to add color? Possibly. Or it could be that there are so many details in the original photo and I let those details distract from the focal point of the drawing. Art and photography are related, but different. They are mediums of expression that capture moments but in different ways. Photography creates a scene or captures a moment in time, whereas art can live in a world of imagination. When we look at art it gives us an illusion, connects to an emotion, and gives us an impression of a moment. It’s not a one-for-one match-up. I realized my mistake was that I forgot to think like an artist, instead, I focused on replicating the image which is not going to provide the same emotive qualities that good art does! In my Koala Scott drawing, replicating the koala was the right move because the focal point was clear.
The photograph I used was zoomed in and focused on the koala and its expression. I could let the background fade out of focus and let the koala’s emotions and communication be the star. But the koala crawling across the limb, framed with smaller branches, added clutter to the image. As a photograph, it works because the composition is made for it. As a sketch it was fine, but as a piece of art with color and texture it falls flat. I’m not satisfied with it.
Final Thoughts
As a perfectionist, I hate making mistakes, but as a student, I know that making mistakes is an opportunity to learn! Comparing the two finished drawings I can see how I can improve and that’s exciting.
I think we should be more open to looking at our work, mistakes and all, and look at what went right and what we can improve on. It doesn’t mean we have failed. Learning is messy but practice is how we grow so don’t give up if you’re frustrated with your progress on a skill. Growing takes time. Don’t compare yourself to others, judge your work by your past work and see how you have grown! I hope this encourages you to keep trying and keep growing in whatever endeavors you are embarking on. You got this! ❤
Sorry, I have been a bit absent on here for the last two weeks. I can’t wait until I can explain why I have been distracted because it is a really good story. Thanks for taking time with me dear reader and I wish you a wonderful weekend. Until next time 🙂
To continue my 2024 yarn stash-busting, I got a little creative with my process. I present this little mint-colored star! I’m so proud of her. I made this intending to make multiple stars to decorate my new noise-canceling headphones.
I didn’t have high hopes when I started this project because well, I don’t see many small objects being created through knit, it’s usually crochet. But I decided to give the technique a go, why not?
It turned out to be a fun little project that gives me joy each time I look at it. To start, I cast on one stitch, next row expand to two, next three, then four, and onto five. I knit another row of five and began reducing. I reduced one stitch on each row until I was back to one. Time to cast off.
You are left with a diamond. I made four more of these diamonds. Next, it was time to sew them together into a star shape. I joined the ends at the center and anchored the edges together to make the star. I repeated the entire process until I had two stars.
Finally, I sewed them together, with the sewing sides on the inside, and finished sides out. It actually worked! It even looked like my crochet reference photo!
Happy May! This is my favorite month of the spring season. The flowers have bloomed, in their vibrant glory of fuschia and periwinkles. The leaves come back! I love seeing the trees all dressed in the green finery for another year. The warmth of the sunshine as it washes me in its light. It’s the joy of feeling warm without that roasting heat of June and July. We have wildflowers, the days are still growing long, and a whole season of outdoor activities stretching out in front of us – it’s a great time to be alive.
This May is going to be a whirlwind for sure. It’s happening in good ways and bad. I can’t exactly say why yet, but I’d like to share something this month is teaching me – how to remain calm when I have no chill because big life changes are happening. Does anyone really? I’m not convinced, but I see that being able to step back from times of shaky ground and change to find peace in the storm of confusion is the secret of adulthood.
I’m learning to stick to a plan and focus on the finish line. It’s teaching me how to push my worries back into my head relax my shoulders and turn my attention to something else. Am I doing this perfectly every time? Heck no! I was frustrated and worried, completely done and ready to wave the white flag last night. Staying calm is such a tricky thing. It feels like a balancing act with fine china ready to smash with any small shift. A tightrope act of processing my emotions, making a plan, feeling overwhelmed, getting tired, and usually I would feel looped in this circle of stress, unable to turn my mind off and get a breather to recharge.
Growing in faith and maturity has given me a new perspective on this feeling. I don’t like it and I actually want to do something about it. I don’t want to be tossed around by the sea of life. I want to roll it. Be someone who can accept what they cannot change and keep moving forward with joy in my heart. So I have been applying new strategies. I only complete one big stress task per day and then I move on to a normal task and a creative task. I’ve been more honest with the people around me that are my support system and have actually let them support me without isolating myself in a state of overwhelm.
Talking has reminded me of the bigger picture and that although there are some big things on the horizon, it’s going to be okay because I have people who love me. I’ve sought out fun things in the evening like watching familiar favorite TV shows, video games and good meals. I’ve been challenging myself to eat healthy instead of giving into stress eating patterns. I’ve been drinking herbal teas for my immune system and emotional wellbeing. I’ve been pushing myself to either workout or get outside, away from scrolling to clear my head and relieve stress.
It’s not just a bunch of Hocus Pocus it’s truly been helping. And personally, Kyle and I praying together, has been a game changer. Getting on my knees and praying instead of praying at my desk, or in the shower, or as I do tasks throughout the day, has made a big difference. Which to be clear, those are not bad ways to pray, in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 literally says, “pray without ceasing.” I’m learning a lot from all that is happening and I think, however everything pans out I am getting valuable life experience to keep going when it feels confusing or scary. Like it says in Firefly, find a ship, find a crew, keep flying.
I hope wherever you are, dear reader, that you are having a lovely day. I wish you a wonderful week and believe that it will be no matter what you are facing. There is a bigger plan at work. Thank you for spending time with me today, it means the world to me that anyone would take the time to read my blog. ❤
I’ve been challenging myself to be a more frugal sewist this year, using up my stash of fabric and resisting buying fabric that catches my eye. It has been harder than I thought. Mood Fabrics is pretty relentless with its advertisements, Hobby Lobby’s every two-week fabric sale calls, and Joann Fabrics sends me flyers and coupons on the regular, but I had this feeling I needed to be more budget-conscious this year and it is starting to make sense why (more on that later).
To do this, I rolled up my sleeves and dug into my storage closet, to my Gram’s quilting fabric stash and got creative. These two fabrics spoke to me, but the yardage of the ditzy floral was small maybe a half yard? This is the most frustrating thing about using deadstock fabrics, vintage or remnants, you get the yardage left and that’s that. I wanted to play around with bias tape finishing with a contrast fabric, which I thought the black floral would compliment the ditzy floral. Originally my plan was to make a camisole top, but the more I thought about I questioned if I would wear it and with what? Instead, I pivoted and used the rest of the black floral to lengthen the top into a dress. To keep it cohesive I color-blocked the fabrics – black floral straps, ditzy floral bodice, black floral skirt, and lower ditzy floral skirt.
This was a new style for me, I usually stick to one fabric but this was fun and from this experience, I feel more inspired to design garments from a scrapy style. It opens up a whole crayon box of possibilities for remnants, smaller yardage purchases, pattern mixing, and contrast piping! This is going to be a fun new world!
I decided to draft my own pattern for this dress by draping the bodice on the form. I created the straps by joining the pieces of bias tape at the top of the triangle bust piece for a seamless transition and to add strength. I added a side zipper to tailor the garment closer to the body but account for the zero amount of stretch in this fabric. It reminds me of a slip dress but I feel more comfortable in it because it is a cotton fabric. There is more structure and opacity. The dress has a more casual vibe where I can style it with a t-shirt underneath if I desire to.
I think subconsciously, I was inspired by Lorelai Gilmore’s dress styling in these episodes. I love her style and I have found that the styles she wears on the show suit my body type and personality more than Rory’s dresses. It’s a dress style I hope to experiment with more by using different fabrics and textures.
Since starting this language journey over a year, my learning style has changed a lot and I feel like I’m falling into a rhythm that is helping me retain what I’m learning instead of feeling overwhelmed. Let’s get into it!
When I started learning in 2023 I decided to go “by the book” I thought and bought the books, used college textbooks to be exact, and dictionaries, thinking it would help me tackle this with ease. What I learned as the process went on is that I don’t have a lot of experience learning languages like I thought. I got distracted by the process I set out for myself – working through the textbook, and in turn, procrastinated like a champ.
What helped me get my motivation back was diving into the language itself and leaving the grammar rules of the textbook behind, like diving into hiragana, katakana, kanji, and some vocabulary. I made hiragana flashcards and katakana flashcards. I began learning kanji from an account called the Joy of Kanji on Instagram, as well as started learning vocabulary from Hamasuke’s Japanese Learning channel on YouTube. This was a great way to start learning words and putting the sounds and the alphabet of syllables together in my mind. I would watch Hamasuke’s channel when I rode the exercise bike to try to keep me motivated and it was fun.
Getting Advice From A Native Japanese Speaker
Online I follow several Japanese language teachers as well as many Japanese creators, one of these creators shared advice on an ‘Ask Me a Question’ story post after a follower asked for Japanese learning tips. He said to memorize hiragana and katakana, learn vocabulary and kanji, and immerse yourself in listening to people speak Japanese and worry about grammar and sentence structure later on. Starting in 2024, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s been back to basics and it’s working.
Kinda obvious actually, I mean that’s how we learn our first language, but I think when we are learning as adults or learning a second language, we overcomplicate. I was doing that! I’m so glad that this person shared this advice because it’s taken the pressure off and given me a clear path to follow. It’s been game-changing!
My new learning plan has been to copy down hiragana, katakana, and the kanji I started learning on an app so it’s in front of me and in my notebook. I take my flashcards of hiragana and katakana and I write them down. I go through each stack. Sometimes I go through the stack again, and again depending on how focused I am that day. As long as I keep to schedule and do this several times a week, I see progress. When I skip, I notice I don’t make progress and that is motivating to be consistent. This has been better practice for my own retention of the language than reviewing the flashcards on their own.
Recently, I’ve been marking which ones I can guess and which ones I have guessed wrong to begin tracking my own memorization. That has helped me track my progress and I would recommend after you’ve given yourself enough to practice and learn. Where I’ve seen the most growth is in the next thing I’ve added to my learning – immersion in listening to native speakers.
Forget Anime, I’m a Kei Camper and Bunny Girl
It’s been interesting to find that there are a lot of rabbit channels based in Japan on YouTube. Technically I should clarify – they are usagi channels, the word for rabbit in Japanese. I follow several channels – Pocket Usagi, Kogarana’s Bunny Popo Channel, and Hana-chan no Usagi Channel. I’ve been watching Pokke and Milk of Pocket Usagi and Bunny Popo since 2022 and Hana-chan I found this year. They all include subtitles, which I’ve had some trouble following even when I was learning in 2023, the only word I could pick out quickly from the subtitles was Popo-chan. Since following the new learning strategy, I’ve been able to quickly recognize syllables and pick them in the subtitles as well as words like Hana-chan, Usagi, and some kanji that stand out to me like the one for rest.
Where I have felt the most growth has been since watching Coupy Camper Channel over the last few weeks because he has closed captions, and Japanese subtitles to the side, and he also speaks on camera, which the other channels do not. His channel lets me experience the cadence of speech which is different from my English comfort zone and Korean which I hear watching K-dramas. It’s been such an interesting way to either just listen and see what the words mean in my native language or listen and follow the subtitles to see what the Japanese syllables I’m learning sound like and how it all get put together in conversations. It has also shown me how Japanese is written and how to navigate the lines of characters in their vertical structure. Through recognizing the sounds and characters I learned that it is read vertically right to left. It’s helping me understand pronunciation, which is huge!
Coupy Channel is giving me a taste of Japanese culture too from seeing the country from the perspective of a resident, exploring the countryside through his trips, learning about the cuisine from how he cooks, and seeing how it is not that different from life here. I feel common ground and that is helping put the pieces together. I am incredibly grateful for his content because I am not a big anime fan. I’ve tried watching anime and while I love the style, I’ve struggled to find the right ones to pull me in. I will eventually try again. Until then Coupy Channel will be my guide.
LALALALA and ACNH
The R sound in Japanese has been confusing me from the start but unexpectedly, a song has helped me remember the pronunciation to keep me focused on learning the sound when I am practicing. That sound is ‘LALALALA’ from Stray Kids’ ‘樂-STAR’ album. The song is a wordplay of rock in English and ‘rak’ in Korean, the Chinese character means delight and pleasure but rock is the first part of ‘rock n roll’. It’s quite clever. I’ve used this to help me remember to not read the Japanese syllable as ‘ra’ but remember to pronounce it with the softer ‘la’ r-sound.
Animal Crossing New Horizons’ I’ve learned from watching Coupy Channel and the Rabbit channels, features a lot of little details from Japanese culture which is such a cool way to immerse even if it is being played in English. For example, the Firefly squid came to the game in April and I later watched Coupy Channel prepare while camping. In this, I learned the Japanese name for it hotaru-ika. I’ve learned about festivals in Japanese culture and traditions, it’s been a fun primer.
In conclusion, I’m optimistic that I will make some real progress in 2024. Hopefully, the next update will be an exciting one!
In Portal 2, Cave Johnson has an iconic rant about lemons that may have been the inspiration for my Saturday plan – to make dairy-free lemon curd from scratch.
To clarify, no lemons were exploded. But they were zested, juiced, and combined into a luscious lemon sauce and baked into lemon bars. Tart, sweet, buttery, lemon bars.
“All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
-Cave Johnson, Aperture Laboratories
But why did Cave Johnson speak so deeply to my mood on Saturday morning, one of the best times of the week? Well my dysfunctional family, of course. Communication is truly an art form, and for some relationships, healthy communication seems as easy as replicating a Michelangelo masterpiece with a butter knife. I am a member of that club. I feel like sometimes a conversation with my mom is doomed from the start. I call her and there is something in the air. A mistaken tone she finds in me, a lack of matching her extroverted, neurotypical energy.
The inability to recognize drama or harshness in her tone. My anxiety and frustration at being accosted by questions, picking remarks, or in general still not living up to whatever I was supposed to. It’s a mess, a mess that continues to respawn after numerous attempts to get rid of this and live a drama-free life with the mom that I do deeply love even if sometimes I get exasperated at her. This was one of those conversations, I did something and the verbal missiles were locking on me, which was really disappointing because it was supposed to be a simple conversation – what time are you coming up to celebrate my husband’s birthday?
Instead, there was chaos, my confusion at why there was chaos with questions followed by accusations of trying to fight and being told I was being a problem, gaslit into the aggressor when I held my temper in check and just asked questions. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I was being baited into a fight and it sucked. It was a conversational sucker punch. Some weeks I don’t even want to pick up the phone, I yearn to move far away from the possibility of hanging out with her, because I just want to be loved not picked at. Being lonely but happy feels better than being close and miserable. I feel like she brings all the drama-ma-ma-ma-ma and then runs away from me after her work is done.
In the screaming silence that followed the nasty encounter, I felt confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, failure, shame, disappointment, a building pressure of anxiety and depression, and the complex childhood trauma memories flooding back of her gaslighting me into thinking I was a kid with an un-teachable spirit, a stubborn child who spirit needed to be broken because seeing things differently from her was a sin.
I feel sorry for my mom because none of those things are true, and keeping me at arm’s length hurts both of us. We only have so much time on this earth, wouldn’t it be better to be laughing instead of arguing, smiling instead of crying?
I’ve learned there is nothing wrong with me. I’m neuro-divergent and God made me this way for a reason. There is beauty in being different, but she can’t see that. She sees me as difficult, and I in turn see her as small-minded.
Recently, I’ve turned to baking when I feel down in the dumps. For a while, baking was quite painful for me, after Grandma passed away in 2020. She was the one who taught me how to bake and that void made baking a chore. Since watching the Great British Bake Off, I’ve found my baking delight once again. We had a bunch of lemons on hand for a separate recipe, and since the rest needed to be used, I decided to make something I’d never made from scratch before. Lemon curd.
They make it on Bake-Off and I used to love eating lemon bars and lemon meringue pie as a kid, it was Papa’s favorite pie. We had it each year on his birthday. It was the bomb. The tart, lemony sharpness of the filling with the pillowy sweet clouds of meringue on top, slightly browned like a marshmallow with a flakey crust. Scrumptious.
Fun fact: My grandma dressed, acted, and looked a lot like Mary Berry. Watching Bake Off is like a hug.
And you know what, baking helped. I felt the tension melt from my shoulders as I zested the lemons and squeezed the juice into the bowl. The delicacy of separating yolks from egg whites required me to slow down, to breathe through the emotional stress. I made a cup of herbal tea and began work on the sugar and butter. After combining it came time to use the bain-marie to slowly temper the eggs and cook until thickened. The result was a dreamy curd that I was hoping for!
Out of pain, something beautiful came, and the next day I made shortbread for the lemon bars and layered the golden yellow lemon sauce into the pan for a delight I hadn’t had since childhood. Next time we’ll make that lemon meringue pie.
I’m glad I’ve learned coping mechanisms like baking, cleaning, stimming, etc so that I am not tempted to rage at my mom, clench my jaw, get drunk, or go on a shopping spree to fill the pain with stuff. It’s been a journey but through my tumultuous twenties, I learned that the dysfunction is never going away but who I am and how I respond to it are not beholden to other people and their poor behavior. And that is true freedom.
Have you ever made lemon curd? Do you like lemon meringue pie or lemon bars? What’s your go-to way to calm down after a stressful encounter? Thank you, dear reader, for coming along on this blogging journey with me. I’m incredibly thankful for you.
Magz Gipe 