I’ve mentioned this before, but as a maker, I revisit a single project many times before it is done. Sometimes I will live with a finished object for a month, a few months, or even a year, and suddenly pick it back up again to adjust something that feels off. Honestly, taking a season or two away from that garment – such as, putting away a dress for the winter, or a sweater while you sweat it out for the summer, can give your mind the space to forget and re-acquaint yourself to the garment like you picked it up from the store. It is a whole new piece again, which can lead to me be less than thrilled with past me and her design choices.
Take this vest for example, I began this project in December 2024, wrapping it in February 2025. I wore it a few times, as it stands as a vest that winter and spring, then it was put away for the warm weather. When cool air returned in the fall, I pulled it out of its drawer and set it on my dress form. This vest did not feel complete, it had more to say, even though my hands were weary back in the winter, so I stopped and called this piece done. But its not done, it would be a gorgeous colorful sweater, and it was time to go back to this garment to make it whole.
Now, this was a self drafted piece. A complicated self drafted piece that helped me cut my color work chops in a garment. This was the first sweater I made with such a large color palette and the first time I decided to make a knitted piece with the motivation of telling a story. I wanted to evoke a winter sky, with a moon that was visible on the front and back. A moon with stars, and clouds, floating above a forest. This sweater would not only feature colorful forms across the fabric, it would have texture. I chose to use the ‘seersucker stitch’ as it was labeled from a Pinterest chart, to weave a diamond texture into the fabric for a 3-D plush effect. I chose large and miniature color work sections to create ebb and flow in the color story.
For the bind off, I had grown tired of the classic 1×1 rib, so I tried something a little different! I chose to create tight stripes, knit stitched together. Instead of stockinette which used knit (right side) and purl (wrong side) for it’s classic construction, I decided knit stitch, knitting the right side and wrong side, would stabilize the stitches for a lack of curling in the finished fabric. And it worked! The technique and color changes ground the color palette for a cohesive garment.
Keeping these previous choices in mind, when it came time to add sleeves and a new collar, I chose to employee a new to me technique, crochet. I wanted the sleeves to be made in the round, and be completed quickly so I could wear this piece for most of the winter. Crochet is much easier to do in the round, and to make progress quickly. The crochet stitches allowed me to work in new directions too, so the sweater had vertical texture to contrast with the horizontal lines of the original vest. With sleeves complete, this is one of my favorite pieces to date. It tells a story. The color palette reminds me of Stardew Valley. The cloud on the back reminds me of an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender when Appa is missing, and Aang thinks a cloud flying above is Appa floating above. I love the variety of colors – gold, navy, magenta, violet, and cream.
This was a labor of love, but I would highly recommend trying a complex project such as this if you are interested in making your own garments. Not only does this piece express my identity, it taught me how to be a better fiber artist. I feel proud each time I wear it. Get inspired and start stitching something from your own imagination!
A project that I have struggled with as a fiber artist, has been the classic cardigan. Like menswear, there is something deceivingly simple yet downright complex. This is my journey to make my first successful cardigan project!
To make this garment, I used 3 Caron Blossom Cakes for a total yardage of 1443, give or take a yard or three left over. I used a 5.5 mm hook and chose a combination of single crochet for the collar and cuffs, and double crochet for the body of the garment. This was my second crochet project, and I’m shocked with how well it turned out, compared to my first knit garments! Crochet is such a forgiving medium, compared to working live stitches between two needles in knitting. It’s simple to pull back progress to correct mistakes, without losing the integrity of the garment. Seaming the garment was far easier, using the hook to single crochet slip stitch the panels together. For the sleeves, it was a straightforward transition to crocheting in the round, compared to how confusing I find knitting in the round to be. In the same way, finding the stitches to pick up for the collar and button band, was a piece of cake!
Honestly, I have struggled with cardigans in the past – including felting a finished garment less than a week after I finished knitting it. It was devastating! The only thing I struggled with in this project was button color, size, and placement. As you can see from the featured photo and this one below, I have changed the color and button placement with wear. The vintage teal buttons I bought secondhand are brittle, one actually snapped in half. These tortoiseshell buttons are darker than I planned to use. I originally wanted to use buttons in a similar color value to the yarn hue, but the contrast is not bad. I think it brings more polish to the finished piece. The tortoiseshell buttons are actually the same I used on my felted cardigan. Always save your notions!
Because this cardigan is made from Caron Blossom Cakes, it is a combination of cotton and polyester, and is quite breathable for how chunky and fuzzy the yarn is. Now, the crochet stitches are certainly helping, but I am impressed by how comfortable this yarn is to wear. It tempts me to buy more, in a different colorway to make another sweater or cardigan. I have pause though. All the color offerings are vibrant. What if two garments with this yarn style is too much?
Overall, I loved my experience making this garment and wearing it. It’s a solid cardigan for Fall and Spring, with appropriate layering I’m sure I would feel warm enough in Winter too.
Have you crocheted a cardigan before? What was your first crochet project? Have you worked with Caron Blossom Cakes?
I wanted to make a cardigan that celebrated our garden, with a yarn inspired by Beatrix Potter, that was made from wool, and featured a fair isle design. To do this I used Pacific Knit Co’s farm doodle deck and Knit Picks’ Chroma Worsted Weight yarn in the colors Beatrix and New Leaf. The Chroma yarn has become a fast favorite of mine for its durability and delicious halo. The yarn is comprised of 70% super wash wool and 30% nylon. This was a bit of a stash busting project, and a splurge. I wished to use up three skeins of deadstock New Leaf, finding the pink-orange-white of Beatrix was the perfect spring-inspired color palette upon which to build. Using a gift card from Christmas, I purchased 6 skeins of Beatrix, although I had to repurchase more with this project using thirteen skeins in total. Not cheap! But worth the splurge to create a piece I plan to wear for the rest of my life that celebrates the garden we have created here at our new house. It’s our in-town farm, as our friend calls it.
The bulk of this project was done on US 8 straight needles, and seamed together using a 5.5 mm crochet hook. The bottom ribbing was created using a US 4 circular needle. The size reduction of 1.5 mm, changed the gauge to create this floral ruffle along the bottom edge. At complete accident! But I like it. In addition, I used mostly stockinette stitches, with 1×1 ribbing at the cuffs, collar, button band, and bottom hem, and the seersucker stitch for added texture, in between color work sections. Will I add buttons? I am uncertain. The original plan was to use buttons, and have purchased buttons, yet I like to wear my garments first beforehand, to see if I want to wear the garment closed. Since yesterday was the Summer Solstice, I have a while to wait!
This garment took approximately 4 months to complete, along side other sewing, crochet, and knitting projects.
When someone is attacking your character, threatening pillars of security like your house, your cars, your bank account, for their own revenge, and is inciting derision in your relationship, how do you stay calm? I’ve been wrestling in these thoughts for the last month as a very unexpected thing happened that threw us for a major loop. I’ve been slow to write for this reason, because I felt so angry and bitter. All is good now though, in spite of the stress and the anger at the perpetrator of this stupid drama, but it begs the question, what does one do with these emotions?
When someone is attacking me, it’s a real struggle not to fight back and defend myself, or respond from a place of past pain and fire back with more gusto than the other person in an attempt to shut the argument down. But does that actually work? A younger me thought it did, but then younger me got the butt kicking of a lifetime by my uncle, who took a declaration of frustration at him and him alone, and manipulated it into a full on family fracture to hurt someone I love very much, my mom.
Lesson number two came from another family member, on a different side of my family, who doesn’t stop arguing. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, this person won’t stop nagging, or pushing their agenda. They refuse to take responsibility for their choices. They are the final boss of arguing, and it has taught me that fighting with this person in any way is futile. It doesn’t matter how wrong they are, they will not concede and so arguing, although it may feel good in the moment, for the temporary release of the emotional pressure valve, is dumb. There is nothing fruitful in addressing the problem with them, because they are denial of what the problem is really about. It’s terrible.
This has a paradoxical shift in my mind. Addressing the problem and dealing with it, is what I believed the healthy purpose of arguing was based in, but life is not that simple or noble. People are far more complicated and broken for that simple notion to be true. Learning to not engage, and walk away, even when someone is hurting you with their words, is the only way through sometimes. And it is incredibly difficult to master. It’s something you usually don’t learn until you are faced with impossible people. In the moment, you feel like the weight of their words outweighs what you know to be true. It feels like giving into manipulation, but it is not about surrendering at all. It is about preserving what is left of the relationship and moving on.
It is the art of learning not to argue. In both examples, my uncle and this other family member, created a stressful environment for me that left one option left. I have to walk away and not defend myself. I have to leave the argument behind. It is not weakness but instead a firm boundary rooted in the promise of a better tomorrow. It is taking the space to breathe and realize this relationship meant more to you than it did to them, and letting them go to fester in their own creation of chaos. You want better for them, but you can’t change them, or control them.
I have not mastered this, not even close. And to be fair, I have had many one sided arguments in my head. Their has been tears and lots of ranting. But not trying to explain myself or defend myself has helped me understand that their minds are already made up, and peaceful co-existence not being possible, is a them problem. I can’t want it more than them, I just have to let that part of our relationship evaporate into the sunshine. I have to focus on protecting my mental health by releasing the stress and hurt in healthy ways, like laughing, exercise, and quality time with family and friends that value the relationship with you, and want the best for you.
In time, walking away from arguments will get easier, I hope. This has been one of the most difficult lessons I have learned, in life. With both of these people, being members of the church, it has been a rough one for my faith. There is such hypocrisy in these relationships, and they both claim the high ground.
Leaving these relationships unsettled and broken feels like a failure, as we are supposed to live in harmony with each other, including other believers. Why doesn’t this bother them, like it bothers me? It makes me feel like a bad Christian. But that is probably another argument I need to just walk away from too.
Do you ever feel this way? Have you mastered the art of walking away from arguments? What helped you develop this skill?
What are the biggest mistakes people make when visiting your country?
Before I dive in, I’d like to acknowledge that the United States is a very big place, and it’s not easy to see all 50 states. Most Americans haven’t done that, nor do many of us have the opportunity to visit all the National Parks in our lifetime. There is a lot to explore, but that’s also why I am sharing this, because getting off the beaten path of travel vloggers and notable cities could be the key to making one-of-a-kind memories for yourself as a traveler. I want you to get the most bang for your buck and make some great memories! My hope is to emulate Geography King’s spectacular regional guides, which have helped me learn more about my own country and inspired me to want to explore new destinations.
The Big Two Cities
Now, this could just be the travel vloggers I have been served up on YouTube, or potentially James May being singularly focused on Southern California and New York City as the defining regions of America, but it can create tunnel vision. These destinations, I would say, are highly influential on a world scale, but as defining all of the United States, they are just one topping on the pizza. One character in the film. The rest of the United States is different from these microcosms.
We have a lot of cities to see, each with their own unique flavor. Chicago has amazing views of Lake Michigan, deep-dish pizza, and kayaking in downtown. Cincinnati offers a rich German heritage and skyline chili. Portland is a donut capital and uniquely charming, with stores and hotels unlike anywhere else. Boston has history, walkability, and seafood. Austin has barbecue, music, dance halls, and more. Savannah is a low-country gem, with historic charm and a complex history that holds important lessons from the past.
Many Regions with Endless Variety
The contiguous US has many regions: the Pacific Northwest, the Southwest, the Mid-Atlantic, the Rust Belt, the Midwest, Big Sky Country, the Southeast, the Deep South, Appalachia, the Rocky Mountains, and the Northeast. These regional distinctions are a great foot-in-the-door to research places completely unknown. For example, the Southeast and Deep South are known for their swamps, but did you know the Mid-Atlantic, specifically Virginia, Maryland, and Delaware, have swampy-marshy low country too? Along with great beaches and seafood, due to their proximity to the Chesapeake Bay! For another example, did you know that natural hot springs are found in central California, Idaho, and also Arkansas and Alaska? What about sand dunes? We have big dunes in North Carolina, Indiana, and New Mexico. There are tons of options for whatever you are looking to explore!
Tahquamenon Falls, MILafayette, LAFallingwater, PARehobeth Beach Boardwalk, DE
Tour by Food
I believe food is one of the best ways to explore the US. Food tells the story of the people, particularly immigrants, by which the US has been shaped. But did you know, we owe a great deal of our food heritage to black culture and the seeds carried here, by African people who were kidnapped and brought here as slaves? They cultivated the plants and created the dishes, that have become mainstays of Southern cuisine and Soul Food.
Indigenous nations, long before North America was colonized, developed a rich food history that has survived genocide and cultural erosion. Without their contributions food staples such as beans, corn, squash, salmon, venison, etc would not be part of our culinary knowledge.
Thirdly, the contribution of Mexican cuisine is incredibly important to understanding the food landscape of the United States. Without Mexican culture, we do not have tacos, burritos, avocados, tortillas, chiles, salsas, mole, tres leches, agave, etc. Mexican food deserves respect.
In addition, exploring the United States through barbecue, pizza, hotdogs, sandwiches, beer, and hamburgers is a great way to learn about regional lore. Take for example Carolina style barbecue, Detroit style pizza, the Po’boy, the Wisconsin butter burger, Dogfish Head’s Punkin’ Ale, or the Primanti’s sandwich. Go check them out!
Our Third Coast and Great Lakes
What is the Third Coast? It’s the coastline along the Gulf of Mexico that stretches across Eastern Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Western Florida. The Great Lakes sit to the North, along our border with Canada, and comprise five freshwater lakes. Moving from west to east, they are Lake Superior, Lake Huron, Lake Michigan, Lake Erie, and Lake Ontario. These regions are generally more affordable, less traveled, and offer stunning scenery, seafood, gorgeous beaches, swimming, and sunsets.
Biloxi, MSPresque Isle, Lake Erie, PA
We are more than FL, TX, CA, CO, UT
Sure Disney World in Orlando is fun, Texas has Buc-ee’s, California has the redwoods, Colorado the mountains, and Utah has Moab and Zion. These are the big states for tourism, and they are booming, but don’t let FOMO and trends define your travels. These all very pricey, very crowded, except for Texas. Texas is just turned into the charicature, and this can drown out the real culture, for the kitschy cowboy vibes. Just like Montana and Wyoming, are more than just the Yellowstone of streaming. Looking beyond these popular destinations can break your trip out of the hive mind of the post social media landscape.
West Virginia and Kentucky
Don’t sleep on these two stunners. Along with Alabama and Mississippi, West Virginia and Kentucky are the butt of many jokes, even though the people are lovely, the scenery is picturesque, and these communities have been extracted to within an inch of their lives for coal that made a lot of people rich in other states, while making them very poor. Look beyond the hardships and the rough exteriors to see the good hiding underneath. Hiking, cave exploring, bourbon tasting, rafting, pepperoni rolls, and waterfalls are just a few things you can explore.
Kentucky BourbonCumberland Falls, KYAppalachian Mountains, WVAutumn in West Virginia
National Parks and Western Scenery Bias
Because of social media, I believe there is an intense focus on visiting National Parks. The views are incredible, the hiking is pinable, the content is effortless, I get it. These still exist at State Parks, without the extra fees. Trump recently added a fee of 100 USD, per person, for international travelers who visit the 11 most popular parks. Or you can pay 250 USD for a pass, but I think it’s wrong to paywall natural beauty that cannot be owned. NPS staff are also short staffed due to Trump’s DOGE fiasco, so this is plea to give these places a break while we sort out this mess for you and for all of us. Plus then, you don’t have to buy the 250th anniversary pass, with his ugly mug on it.
Take Yourself Out to the Ballgame
Why not go to a baseball game while your here? With 30 professional teams and 120 minor league affiliated teams, there are endless opportunities to take in a baseball game. MLB stadiums boast impressive view of their cities, with great snacks, affordable tickets, and a lovely day outside.
SF Giants, Oracle ParkATL Braves, Truist ParkPGH Pirates, PNC Park
I Beg of You, Skip This City and This State
Please, do not go to Washington D.C. right now. The White House looks like a pile of rubble because of the ballroom build, and the UFC arena being built on the White House lawn. Go another time, when this is all a distant memory. Please skip Hawaii too out of solidarity to the local people of Hawaii, who have been priced out of their homeland by the rich and the land developers. Hawaii was colonized by force for military strategic position, over time Hawaiian culture has been diminished by forced assimilation into white cultural norms, and now overtourism is hurting Hawaiians once again. Let’s give Hawaii a break.
Kindness Still Exists
My final point is to not throw away the United States just because evil is being done by those in power right now. The majority of my fellow citizens are outraged and fighting to stop ICE, the War in Iran, Data Centers, and corruption. There are still good people here, who will welcome you with open arms regardless of where you are from, what you look like, or who you love. You are welcome here. Please come visit and let us share this beautiful scenery with you!
I was pretty late to the Late Show party, becoming a fan after it was canceled by CBS, for ‘purely financial reasons.’ What a shame that is! I think what we need more of is laughter. Pure, intelligent comedy for the sake of the joke. Not for the algorithm, or to bow down at the altar of tech bros, or the gold Nebuchadnezzar statue of Trump. But to instead frustrate the heck out of these life-draining entities with comedy.
In both my personal life and the greater world around me, the stress level is high. Morale is low. I think we’re all feeling tired by the burden of man doing what is right in his own eyes. But wait, there’s more! Now, the so-called “Christians” are whoring themselves out again, like the Israelites did in the Old Testament, raising up idols for their own gain and neglecting the covenant God made with them. It’s infuriating to be an adult and realize that this story is not a Bible story from the past, but a living example that continues to evolve with the generations, in repetitive cycles of taking God’s name in vain. Being the absolute worst representatives of God’s image, and claiming their actions are blessed by God.
As a kid, I naively thought this was what people from the past did, not us. In our “Christian” nation. I feel so dumb remembering how duped I was by the authority figures around me. As I got older, like we all do, we begin to see the signs of hypocrisy and corruption around us. Nowhere was it more apparent than in the Christian bubbles and institutions I interacted with. I remember my parents and grandparents warning me that the deepest cut would be in these circles. That sinful actions would feel more harmful in these environments, because we expect the believers around us to play by the rules, but we don’t. We treat each other just as badly, and sometimes worse, than the non-believers around us.
Politically, the age of MAGA and the culture wars of the last decade have exacerbated the tension in this dance of Christians being terrible representatives for the gospel, but wonderful representatives for their political parties, and the sin patterns being held onto, instead of being transformed by the sanctification process.
What I have the most irony, as I reflect right now as I write this, is that for my whole life, I have heard that the problem with America is that the church doesn’t preach sin anymore. This is usually targeted at things like unmarried couples living together, promiscuity, homosexuality, and gender expression. But I realize that, yeah, this is one of the problems with America, but not for any of the reasons listed above; instead, racism, bigotry, political idolatry, Nationalism, greed, capitalsim, extraction of the global south, ICE, Fascism, and more recently, worship of Trump, are some of the sins that are not preached about in the majority churches – and these sinful behaviors are running rampant in our world, destroying whole nations like Palestine, Iran, Congo, Sudan, and Lebanon for the sake of these bloodlusts “sanctioned” by people who aren’t being taught by churches that this is sin.
Getting back to the point of this post, all this darkness has felt like a dense fog spreading across all the light and truth, but comedy, by those like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel, has cut through the complicit silence. Now we only have one of these shows left, although Trump calls for Kimmel’s job constantly. I’m going to miss Colbert’s voice in the void and hope that he finds a new place to do the same thing – call out the evil and stand for the truth, while making us laugh. The sweet pressure valve release of laughing through things that scare us is essential, I believe, for us to maintain our humanity.
It is a non-violent fight against fascism, an unwillingness to buy the crap they are selling us, and remain focused on what is good and true, when the propaganda tries to drown it out. That’s what is happening here with CBS, a complicit, chicken-sh*t response to pressure from above. What they have chosen to silence is the reminder to be kind, to be unwavering in our beliefs, and to not let the bad around us determine who we will be.
I’m thankful for the time I got to watch Colbert’s show, for the comfort pause to laugh through the ‘Hormuz news you can uz’ segment, in the middle of a war that none of us want but can’t depend on our leaders to stop, while watching our tax dollars be ripped from social programs to bombs and guns. It was like a balm to the soul, a place to reset and breathe, with a laugh. A way to process together. Thank you, Colbert!
In the meantime, what will I do? Watch Jimmy Kimmel. Rock out to the Piedmont Raging Grannies, and laugh my butt off watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.
The more popular and well-covered the Met Gala is online, the more controversial it becomes. This once New York Society event has transformed into an international spectacle that feels more like the Oscars or the Olympics than a fundraiser for a museum’s costume archive. That is the origin of the Met Gala, a dinner to raise money for the Costume Institute, to pay for the day-to-day operations and expansion of the collection displayed at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. The spectacle and theme, red carpet coverage, constant intertwining with rich, questionable people, and the baked-in elitism of making Anna Wintour’s guest list have become the bigger story of this so-called “fundraiser.”
Now, I am being a bit dramatic in questioning its fundraising; it is successful at its core function. For a deeper dive, I suggest checking out Abby Cox’s video about the history of the Met Gala. I believe they have raised enough to create an entire wing for the museum. The hefty price tag per plate or per table is usually not the attendees’ responsibility to cover, as the attendees are usually there to represent a brand or company. What I have seen as the biggest defense for the Met Gala is this system of big brands, donating money to the arts, that they would otherwise pocket or invest in questionable things, such as political donations to Trump or AI technology. But is that enough to make this event palatable? The Met Gala was sponsored by Lauren and Jeff Bezos, which alone made this year’s gala controversial. The justification once again is that his money is better spent on the arts than on something else, like another Melania movie. Such as comparing this sponsorship to the investments by Carnegie, Frick, and Morgan in the arts during the Gilded Age to improve their public opinion.
I have mixed thoughts on this, as a believer in the preservation of the arts, but also a kid who grew up in the Pittsburgh area and was surrounded by Carnegie libraries, museums, etc. Are these nice to have? Yes. Does it make up for the pollution, labor practices, and wealth hoarding by these industrialists that were so greedy they did not care if they were evil, but instead chose to buy their way into good public standing? No. My Grandma died of COPD, from the level of pollution she was exposed to as a kid in the 1940s. The Atlantic Monthly, in 1868, called the city of Pittsburgh, “hell with the lid taken off.” Soot from the Steel factories coated everything. The number of heart conditions in my family, and later autoimmune conditions, has been shocking, until you consider the effect of pollution. Similarly, the number of people from my home region with Cancer has been downright terrifying. You still can’t eat the fish from the rivers or ponds.
But forget that, right? Let’s have a ball, and display our wealth to all the people around the world who will never experience this kind of luxury. We have to preserve the arts and fashion history! Yeah…honestly, when you consider how much human suffering is essential to this kind of wealth, that these systems depend on most people going without human rights and dignity so that they can wear their custom haute couture to donate millions to a single museum, it’s disgusting to me. And I love fashion.
History is great, sometimes, but more often than not, it is a tragic collection of stories of inequality, suffering, war, destruction, and a few that benefit greatly from the oppression of others. You don’t have to dig far into the history of my country to see how true this is. I mean, each day this Iran War drags on, add another footnote to the list of wrongs. I would rather preserve cultures than general historical collections that focus on white, Eurocentric clothing on white Eurocentric mannequins. The bulk of the vast Costume Institute’s collection, the biggest in the world, is mostly Western clothing with a few token exceptions, displayed on mostly small, white mannequins. The Met has enough resources and clout to do better. The fashion industry is not interested in doing better, though. They are one of the biggest polluting industries in the world, and have knit together their brand empires with sweatshops in the global south. I guess my point is, I think we all know enough about Western fashion and luxury fashion. More than I think we need to know. Who is preserving the fashion history of the places and people who make the clothes, and whose lives are being wasted away sewing day in and day out to feed their family a meager portion, while these brands spend hundreds of thousands of dollars at the Met Gala? If they have enough to blow money on this event, it is despicable that they choose to not pay their workers properly, and give them vacation time, health care, maternity/paternity leave, etc.
The most difficult part of this conversation, for most of us, is the Amazon of it all. I shop on Amazon, most of us do. Sometimes it literally is the only option, and I know it is not a good company, and I am not proud of supporting it. It makes me feel like a big hypocrite. Because with Amazon, you don’t have to leave the US to see how bad they treat their employees. It’s out in the open, and hyper-consumerism and lack of other options make the bad behavior of Amazon seem beyond reproach due to how entrenched the company is in our world. I do think the Met Gala is an offensive flaunting of wealth that we, normal people, should stop worshipping because it’s pretty and is “art.” I do think the “Eat the Rich” protests are valid, and I think a lot of us feel stuck because we feel like hypocrites. After all, the system seems rigged right now for billionaire domination, and sometimes the only or cheaper option is supporting these businesses, like Amazon.
I like fashion history, but I don’t like the Met Gala. I don’t like Bezos or how he does business, and I do have an Amazon package arriving today. Just as much of life is complex, this subject is so layered, and I hope I made sense in this post.
Okay, as a millennial, I can’t hear the word pivot without thinking of this scene from Friends. But, silliness aside, Ross was correct; you have to pivot and pivot well. The longer I sew, the more agitated I get when I make foolish cutting or measuring mistakes in my garments. Like my shortalls from last year, I tried them on over the weekend because it is feeling warm and springlike here, and I was shocked by how poorly I fit the shorts. The top portion of the shorts fits excellently, but not the shorts. No one wants weird bunching when it comes to shorts, and that was exactly the problem!
At first, I went through the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance that no matter how delusional I chose to be, these shortalls are uncomfortable. I would not wear them. This made me feel so many regrets. The pink overalls I drafted completely from scratch, using a special fabric featuring corgis and bread from a Japanese fabric brand called Kokka Fabric, sourced from my local fabric shop, Firecracker Fabrics. The second pair was cobbled together as a challenge of fabric and repurposing. The fabric was 1 yard of 59″ cotton twill from Mood Fabrics, and the pockets were sourced from a pair of shorts in my closet. I refused to scrap these. But what could I do to fix these? With all the patterns at play, adding in a new fabric sounded scary. Cutting these into bags or future quilting projects was throwing in the towel too soon for me.
My solution came to me one night, as I was washing my face; I didn’t have to make a drastic change. I had to address the problem – the way I cut the curve of the pants. I could remove the section that divided the fabric into legs, and transform the shortalls into pinafore dresses with a few cuts and stitches! It was a success! The shorts are now a skirt, by cutting away the curved line and sewing a straight seam on the back and front of the skirt. I also made a quick swap to the back bib of the brown floral pair, adjusting the square bib to the triangle shape of the pink ones. This adjusted the fit of the dress in an excellent way. The purpose of the triangle, I believe, from the fit change on my garment is to eliminate gapping between your shirt and the back bib, so the fit follows the line of your body.
Now, sewing is not the only place to pivot, obviously. Problem-solving is a fundamental part of the creative process. Projects rarely work out the way you want, from knitting to cooking to building a piece of furniture. In this fast fashion, consume and donate, culture poisoning my country’s culture, we are losing the art of problem-solving. This has been exacerbated by the rise of AI and ChatGPT. Why think at all? Why imagine, ponder, or research? Why try if you aren’t going to get “expert” results? That is what the rise of optimization culture is creating: the fear of trying. But you have to try to become an expert. AI is not an expert; it is a thief, stealing the knowledge of humans who have spent years and decades striving to know, unafraid to try and fail. It’s literally the scientific method. So if you are an impressionable person, who is growing up in this current era, don’t give up your creative ability for AI to do it for you. You will lose crucial thinking and creative skills if you don’t exercise your mind and problem-solve on your own. Just do it.
Commitment is scary. It feels like a box that closes around you. My mind wanders to all the negative possibilities. Will I become stagnant? Will I fail? Will I regret this? Commitment is not a bad thing, though; it is a fundamental to our relationships, to building character, and completing goals. Finishing any project, big or small, such as painting a wall or completing a degree, requires commitment. Being there for a friend. Adopting a pet. Planting a garden. Buying a house. Getting married.
The last one fills us as humans, living in the 21st century, with the most trepidation. I think because of how obligatory marriage can become in our human cultures. What is a Jane Austen novel without commentary on the role of marriage in 19th-century England? Women can see it as a burden, a life goal, or a way to survive. It is complex for all people – he, she, they to enter into a legally binding commitment built on the hope that this love we are choosing to pursue until we die, will not fail and consume us both.
As I have mentioned before, my parents got divorced when I was little. It was finalized when I was two, actually, so beyond a PTSD memory that is hard to dwell on, I don’t remember life before my parents divorced. My memory and examples of marriage in my life come from my grandparents and my mom, who married my wonderful stepdad (more like true dad) when I was 16. Without these two positive examples, I’m not certain marriage would have happened for me. It’s hard to understand, unless you experienced it, but living in the aftermath of your parents’ failed marriage shapes your opinion of marriage from a young age.
You are the living proof of failure, and are looked on with pity and dismay from many church people and people in your community. You are the weirdo. People want to “help” experience the normalcy of two parents, as if there is something wrong with the family that you have. I had three parents instead of two, and it felt normal to me. I learned about love, of all kinds – storage and agape, aka “affection” and “unconditional love.”
I think these loves are even more important to grasp as an impressionable youth than fixating on the hope of romantic love someday, because what brings you through marriage is all four loves – charity, agape, philia (friendship), and eros (romantic). Because marriage is built on vows, and keeping those vows is wonderfully challenging some days, but keeping them and not giving up has led to this exciting milestone – our tenth anniversary!
Growing up, knowing that marriage can and will fail for a lot of people, no matter how much you fight for it, scared the crap out of me, staring down the aisle. I didn’t want to fail, like a destiny I couldn’t shake. My parents’ divorce was not a curse to inherit, nor was it Kyle’s to inherit from his parents’ divorce, yet succeeding felt like the highest mountain I would ever climb, and honestly, I do feel that way today. So many things have changed in my life in the past ten years – jobs, friends, locations, family, pets – it’s been a roller coaster, and yet, here we are. We didn’t let the bad times get the best of us – the economy, the pandemic, job loss, grief, and hubris – we figured out how to navigate the things that scared us without ripping the seams to tatters.
What I thought would be the way through this would be never approaching that line, but life actually pushes you to the brink quite often. I think we, as humans, focus so much on perfection that we forget that even when you let your spouse down, you can dust yourself off and recalibrate. Even your worst moments don’t have to break you. Holding on to the highest highs, the wins, is important too. It’s a journey that you walk with your spouse towards the goal. It’s a sanctification process that will break you down with certainty, but I feel refined by the wisdom and the struggle, and the wins.
The bottom may come as close as you can imagine to dropping out, but your fears are not a prophecy for your life. Good things are not there to slip away from you; they are the victories. And so this exciting anniversary feels like a victory over all the voices in my head telling me to give up when things got hard, and to not enjoy the good moments in case something bad would happen. Yeah, good and bad have happened, and will continue to happen, but what Kyle and I are building, this commitment to be there for each other for every step of the journey, is a balm to the soul in these uncertain times. So I encourage you, in these heavy days, to plant your garden.
This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce…Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”
On Friday morning, I woke up to a shocking announcement as a NCTzen, Mark Lee of NCT 127, NCT Dream, and NCT U did not renew his contract with NCT and SM Entertainment, effective April 8, 2026. Just like that, everything has changed once again in NCT. For context, NCT is a very complex project with multiple subunits and a large roster of band members. The NCT sub-unit that I follow closely is NCT 127, the eight-member (used to be nine, until 2024) boy band consisting of Taeyong, Mark, Yuta, Johnny, Haechan, Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Jungwoo. Mark is one of the main rappers, a key part of the sound of these groups, a songwriter with Taeyong for NCT 127, and the leader of NCT Dream. NCT 127 is about to celebrate its 10th anniversary on April 9th – why is this happening?
As a NCTzen, nothing has felt normal in the group since 2024, when leader Taeyong began his military service. While he was gone, NCT 127 released one group comeback album and various solo projects, including Mark’s solo album in 2025. The solo projects have felt like a welcome distraction, as Jaehyun (2024), Doyoung, and Jungwoo (2025) began military enlistment. My favorite solo project so far has been Yuta’s J-Rock style albums that evoke the rock and metal music I loved in high school. Not even the solo projects could distract from the disturbing news, on August 28, 2024, that former member Taeil was no longer a member of NCT due to sexual assault allegations, with SM terminating his contract a few months later. Taeil was convicted in 2025, and is currently serving a prison sentence, a very short prison sentence, unfortunately. So in summation, NCTzens have been through a roller coaster of emotions since 2024.
With Taeyong’s return to group activities for 2026, this was supposed to be a new beginning, not another goodbye. I’m hoping that, in time, more will be revealed as to why Mark is departing so suddenly. I thought his solo album was good; inspired by his faith, it was a light shining in the darkness of 2025. I know that SM is a company with messy dynamics. Three EXO members recently went to court against SM over a contract dispute, and Red Velvet members Wendy and Yeri recently left SM, while remaining members of the band. Mark’s departure from both the band and the company is uncharted waters, and I’m sad. I hope all is well and that whatever is next for Mark, he will be blessed.
This is not the first departure in K-Pop for 2026; it has been an ever-growing list. So far, Danielle from New Jeans, Manon from Katseye (hiatus), Heeseung from Enhyphen, and JYP have departed or changed their roles, in the case of JYPapi. In tricky times such as these, the K-Pop world has one solution: direct hatred towards Stray Kids – and I am so fed up with the hate. In the wake of Mark’s announcement, I saw posts calling for Stray Kids to be next. Wishing all kinds of ills of the members and the group. Why is Stray Kids always the scapegoat? (Also, Jennie. Stop hating on Jennie.)
So, general K-Pop fans who like to dunk on Stray Kids, what has this toxic behavior accomplished for you? The AI-deep fakes have led to legal action by JYP Entertainment in two countries. Stray Kids won major awards, completed the biggest world tour, and wrote multiple hits in response to your hate. Such as God’s Menu, the entire No Easy, aka “noisy” album, S-Class, Comflex, Ceremony, and Phoenix, to name a few. As Bang Chan says in their song, 3RACHA, “They always say the same excuses. While they’re complainin’, we’re producin’.” So can everyone just hush and enjoy the variety in K-Pop?
To a more positive note, I am really enjoying the new BTS album, Arirang. Now, I became a fan of K-Pop at the start of 2022, with my introduction to BTS being Dynamite and Butter. Two songs I quite enjoy, but I didn’t get to experience the true BTS or a full band comeback experience until now, and dang, after a long military hiatus, I’m starting to get the BTS hype. See Army – Stays and Army can co-exist peacefully. Arirang has range. I appreciate the mellow beauty of Swim, and the haunting melancholy of Merry-Go-Round. Aliens, FYA, and Hooligan have been in my head for days. For me, BTS has an interesting duality to their vocal range. Compared to the “racha” subunits I am used to from Stray Kids, or the structure of an Ateez or NCT song, where the rappers and vocalists have clear parts, BTS flows. I’m still learning what each member sounds like, and I’m constantly surprised to learn who is doing what part. I’m excited for what the future holds for BTS, cause yeah, I get the hype now.
It’s a relief, actually, to see that in spite of military interruptions, BTS came back as one cohesive team. What has felt so heavy about Mark’s departure from NCT has been the military service and the removal of the evil one. Can we just get a breath? Will this band still be the same by the time everyone is reunited again, like BTS? I sure hope so.
One Rabbit Riot 