Category: kindness in the culture

Sewing Stretch Fabric Struggles

Do you ever spend time learning a skill just to forget it when you need to use it? That’s me. That’s how I sew stretch fabric on my machine. I just jump in and completely forget that I need to first properly adjust the tension and stitch type or else mayhem ensues. Mayhem like my machine having a nice little snack on my fabric.

Sometimes the machine gets extra bold and drags the hem under into the bobbin’s domain, jamming the machine. This is what I am talking about:

In the moment of panic, when I realize the fabric is stuck down in the machine a few thoughts dance through my mind.

  • Why didn’t you sew this by hand?!
  • You did it, you finally broke the machine you maniac!!
  • It’s ripped to shreds, isn’t it? The whole project might be gone in a moment.
  • This machine hates me. How do other people sew so effortlessly??

But it’s not the machine’s fault and it’s not the fabric that caused this, and it’s not even my fault. It’s morally neutral, it’s an accident and a learning experience to grow from!

As I was writing this, I caught myself crafting sentences to describe the situation with very negative and demeaning language towards myself for making a simple mistake. (A mistake that once I freed the fabric from the machine, I corrected and carried on to make the finished garment. The tight thread tension actually made a happy accident, a lettuce edge hem.)

It is not something that I should hold with such severity against myself that I internally tell myself I am an idiot, a lousy sewist, or useless.

Because how would I respond to hearing someone say that to another person? I would be disappointed in the speaker and make them stop.

How would I respond if I spoke with such aggression to another person? I would be ashamed.

I am learning through these sewing setbacks to temper the internal monologue and be a more gentle and loving person towards myself, to maintain better mental health, and establish the practice in my mind so that I can be a source of gentleness and kindness to others.

How do you speak towards yourself and others when they make a mistake?

Pop Press, Historical Biases, and the Straw Man of Politics

What is historical bias? As I dove deeper into my historical training, it became the elephant in the room of every class discussion and the turf monster of every thesis. It is where worldview intersects with historical interpretation and constructs an invisible wall between historical accuracy and interpretation in our present.

Even with firsthand accounts or eyewitness testimony of events, personal bias, and interpretation passively or actively weave themselves into the evidence. It is inescapable.

Something that I’ve gleaned, with a better understanding of, has been from listening to Biblical scholars meditate through the Greek and Hebrew translations of the Bible aka primary sources. It is truly an extraordinary work to ponder accounts from the past and sift through the biases we have as moderns to catch a fleeting moment of connection with the past filled with as deep of empathy for their pov as we can.

It is fleeting because the easier and more common way we interact with history is through quick and heavily biased source material.

A thesis-first and evidence-second approach, instead of first studying the evidence and letting it reveal the thesis is how we as humans prefer to communicate. But what we will gain if we let the text talk to us. Letting the text speak is similar to the Socratic method except instead of a conversation with people, you let the sources speak.

This does not translate well to our current pace of consuming information. It is slow and requires patience to study and understand the matter at hand from many angles. Therefore the “pop press” way of disseminating information, like the History Channel so often uses, rises from the ashes once again to the far reaches of TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.

This is not to say that only bad history or bad thesis drafting is a product of social media. I’ve learned wonderful details about a vast array of histories, fashion, language, and culture through these social platforms that I couldn’t have had access to at college, because the experts didn’t exist. Dress History wasn’t even a widely accepted specialty during my time in college. Social Media has provided a platform for niche history lovers to share their passion with a new audience. Social Media also provides a salon of discussion to debunk myths or provide deeper context to a subject that was given the “pop press” treatment.

So why am I writing about this today? I was watching a video from a creator who used to be a fantastic source of fashion and film content, a 2000s historian of girlhood with insightful and researched evidence that let the text speak. The original work was so high caliber that this current slump into heavily biased “historical” fashion videos and content that is just politics loosely veiled as film or fashion-focused, has been a great disappointment to me. The creator is so talented, and to see them be swayed by forces that are in our culture is sad.

Not only a disappointment, but it has shown me how important it is to stay committed to awareness of historical biases and the humble acknowledgment that we can’t talk in absolutes when it comes to interpretation. We have to be open to exploring the sources from many points of view and not let ourselves be mouthpieces of modernity, with the clever out of “victors write history” so what is the point of going deeper.

Victors certainly change history and can try to control its narrative, but history is the story of humanity and is bigger than one group’s manipulation.

For example, in my wheelhouse, I am the descendant of Irish immigrants who were potato farmers in Cork. The Potato Famine was discussed historically as just a blight. Bad luck. Not a big deal. Oh well. The crisis was met with such apathy that Irish clergyman Jonathan Swift, wrote “A Modest Proposal” to draw attention to the British attitude towards the Irish was not unlike the absurdity of his proposal.

But now, we know that this event can be classified as a genocide because the British colonized Ireland for centuries. There was enough food in Ireland until the British stole it and imported it out of their colony of Ireland. The “victors” affect history but their version is not the guaranteed final version forever. They inflict death and destruction but this will not stay in the shadows forever, the light is greater than the dark.

My point is that this summation, “The victors write history” is paltry.

So what started this ramble of historical bias?

A video essay about the history of the Goth aesthetic which had random political bias inserted as fact and a lack of nuance to the conclusions based on a clearly preconceived thesis where evidence was cherry-picked to fill out a video that wasn’t really about Goth style. It was about our Nov 5, 2024 election and unnecessarily put a lot of negativity out into the world instead of talking about the Goth aesthetic.

I believe it’s time that we as a society stop stirring up dissension and casual hate in the name of the political savior. These candidates never save anything. They try their best but they are just humans. Is it worth hating an entire group of people because they hold different views? Never.

No human is perfect, so how can human government create a perfect society? It’s a straw man.

I hope in time, the strong political biases I see swaying storytelling in my culture will sour. Instead, I hope an appetite for deep discussion to understand each side of the coin will spring forth. For truth, for the sake of truth, warts and all. For deeper connection. To understand what people believe and why they believe, with mutual respect, and respect for the biases we hold so that we don’t let our biases keep us from true understanding and continue to fertilize this culture of casual hate I am seeing in 2024.

I hope this post is not too convoluted. I wanted to discuss this without saying what creator I am referring to because it is not them I want to critique but the fallacy they have fallen under and the way they are approaching history, politics, and interpretation of these things without the awareness of their personal bias. It’s creating foolish and unuseful content that reads more as pop press propaganda than well-researched discussion, which is what I think they excel at doing. I believe they are amazing and I want to see their talent shine once again!

Bias is such a difficult thing to wrestle with and I acknowledge that no matter how I tried to check mine at the door, it still persists. I try to hold it loosely and pursue the truth, but I am an imperfect human. 

Thank you, reader, for being here and I hope this was an interesting ramble if nothing else. If I have offended you, I humbly ask for your grace and willingness to love others – enemy or friend, because that is how we will make this world a better place.

#65 – Mario Party Jamboree, Bunny Adoption Prep, and Potatoes

My new favorite way to cook potatoes is by opening a jar of our pressure-canned potatoes and being far ahead in the potato cooking process! I didn’t grow up canning, as I’ve mentioned before in previous posts, so I didn’t know the joy of not having to peel and boil potatoes because you did it beforehand. This was our second time pressure canning potatoes, we did this back in 2023 and put up a year’s worth of potatoes in an evening, not bad a trade-off for several hours of work.

Hot Po-tah-toe, Hot Po-tah-toe

This time we processed 30 lbs and dedicated an entire day to peeling, parboiling, packing, and pressure canning – it was a ton of work but was rewarding. The kitchen in the house made it a lot easier to work in, which is funny because there isn’t that much counter space in our current kitchen. We’ve had to get creative like adding two tables along the wall with the fridge, because the room was pretty empty when we purchased it, and it is a galley style like the kitchen in the previous house we were renting, and yet it felt luxurious which is great!

The addition of our grill to cook meals on while the stove top was in use sterilizing jars and pressure canning was a game changer! No ordering takeout needed or feeling stressed by the clean-up in a hangry state. I think that was the best part! I also liked how we batched the potatoes into two groups of 15 lbs. This provided a rhythm to the process. We processed the 15 lbs of potatoes and then ate lunch while they were in the pressure canner, and then repeated the steps after lunch, then we made pizza in the evening while the last batch was processing.

It gave us 21 jars, I believe, of potatoes that will be a great asset to our pantry. I’m grateful we were able to do this without any mishaps. Each time we do a food preservation project I feel less like a fish out of water. It’s starting to become a tradition in my life, instead of an alien practice that scares me.

Let’s Jamboree, Buddy!

Mario Party Jamboree came on October 17, it’s the third installment of the game for the Nintendo Switch, although there are many more versions of this game from previous systems that I would love to play if I had a chance. This one caught our eye for the innovative boards, the vast amount of playable characters, and the new twist of the Jamboree Buddy. A character that appears on the board and will be your ally for a stretch of turns.

We’ve played four of the seven boards so far – Mega Wiggler’s Tree Party, Rainbow Galleria, Goomba Lagoon, and Roll’em Raceway – the most innovative of the four, in my opinion. Roll’em Raceway combines features of Mario Kart – a track and racecar, with the board game style of Mario Party. It’s fun and irritating because the track gives you a guaranteed stop at Boo.

Goomba Lagoon is a favorite of ours for the introduction of high tide and low tide, which changes the paths on the board. There are also ziplines and a volcano that can shoot coin-collecting or coin-stealing opportunities onto the board. I like the pirate vibes of this board!

Rainbow Galleria feels like we’re finally let loose in the Coconut Mall racetrack from Mario Kart, but instead of racing, there are multiple levels of stores in this mall with escalators and elevators to move between the levels. It puts the focus on shopping which is unique, there is also a stamp rally attached to the board. I like these features and despite its difficulty rating of 4/5 stars, I think it was one of the most approachable of the new boards.

The final board we have played so far is Mega Wiggler’s Tree Party which feels like the perfect land for the Great British Bakeoff Tent to be! It’s a cutesy cottage-core board with mega wiggler, shy guy tea parties, goombas making pancakes, and more! I like the “normal” format of this board. It’s a classic, like Woody Woods.

My favorite new characters are Spike, Toadette, Toad, and the Goomba. My opinion of the Jamboree Buddy feature is mixed, and I think it depends on which option of ally spawns. They all have unique skills and the competition to earn their allyship is also different from character to character.

For me, it depends on how the individual game is going. If it is a game that is dragging on, I dread the notification that a player has reached the Jamboree Buddy. So far Wario and Donkey Kong have been the allies that I enjoy, Bowser Jr. and Mario have been the least interesting to me. Yoshi’s competition was dang difficult! I was not expecting his to be my least favorite to participate in. I love Yoshi. He’s my ult bias of the Mario franchise.

Operation Bun Bun Binkies

We applied to adopt a rabbit from our local rabbit rescue, the largest dedicated rabbit rescue in the North East. This amazing no-kill shelter is a gem for their work to save rabbits from abuse and neglect, to give them the place to heal and be ready for adoption, and their work in the community to show what makes rabbits such an amazing animal, won us over when we visited a few weeks ago. The rescue is named E.A.R.S. or Erie Area Rabbit Society (and Rescue).

We have been busy preparing for this next step, researching veterinarians, proper rabbit diet, and proper habitat guidelines to make our house a safe and welcoming environment for our new furry friend. It’s been a roller coaster for me as I don’t like change, but I know that we are ready for this step and want to give a deserving bunny a home. I’m hoping to share more about this process and E.A.R.S. as we continue to move forward.

Did you know that rabbits are the 3rd most popular pet after dogs and cats in the United States? They are also abandoned at an alarming rate, usually in the wild, and quickly die. This is because they are not wild animals, and have been bred to be pets not to survive in the wild. It’s estimated that 4 out of 5 rabbits bought at Easter are abandoned.

They are also bought as “starter” pets that are dumped when people lose interest. They are bred as a way to make a quick buck and are kept in inhumane conditions, it’s a growing problem that needs to be addressed in my home country. Not to mention the issue of animal testing, which uses rabbits as experiments for cosmetic development. Rabbits can’t speak for themselves and we need to speak for them. It’s something that God has really put on my heart. They are incredibly gentle, loving, social, and intelligent animals that we are misunderstanding. I’d like to be a part of changing that.

Thank You for 100 Subscribers!

While I was on vacation up to Erie I received exciting news! I saw this blog has reached 100 subscribers! It made my day. I am so grateful to everyone who has subscribed. You guys are amazing! I appreciate every view, every visitor, every like. It’s given me purpose in a season of transition, helped me get back into writing, and drawing, and feel more comfortable sharing Potato Technology designs online. It has also been a rewarding way to connect with people worldwide which I find exciting.

I’m hoping in time to connect more, and maybe keep comments on my posts to get to know you more. I’m just shy and scared of getting hate comments when I want this to be a safe space. Maybe in 2025? I’ll keep trying to be brave.

I’m looking forward to sharing bits about my trip and some more sewing and knitting projects I’ve completed in September. September was a busy month! I think heading into October, I’ve needed a break. It was good to get away and refresh. I’ve been feeling a bit of writer’s block the past week so I took a small break from the blog too, hoping to have renewed my creativity!

Thank you, dear reader, for such an amazing milestone! I hope you have a wonderful day and that I see you around the blog again. There are many exciting things I have planned that I would love to share with you. I hope you know that you are loved and worthy just as you are.

Kindness in a Heatwave: Light of Life

Today we’re having one of those, I hope, last big temperature swings up into the 90 degrees Fahrenheit for the season. I’ve always struggled in the heat, I get heat-sick pretty easily and feel like I’m in a fog. This is why living in coastal Georgia was never going to work no matter how cool the people were or how beautiful the scenery. But it wasn’t until this summer that I considered what would I do without access to a shower, or a steady supply of clean water to drink?

Light of Life Rescue Mission has opened my eyes to this. This summer the mission, through the leadership of Rev. Jerrel T. Gilliam, has been working to draw attention to the homeless community in Pittsburgh and what they are experiencing in the waves of heat without having the amenities and resources many of us, me included take for granted.

Hope and Love Transform Communities

This mission is based in Pittsburgh, PA. I first learned of the mission through my teachers at school who would lead drives to collect hygiene items and socks to distribute to men experiencing homelessness in our nearby city of Pittsburgh. The mission has now expanded to offer assistance to men, women, and children experiencing homelessness through their Street Outreach Team and shelter locations within the city. The mission started in 1952 as a soup kitchen and has expanded to include a men’s shelter, a food pantry, a women’s and children’s shelter, a recovery place, and a free clothing store.

The mission came again on my radar while watching the Kindness Diaries when host Leon is hosted by a man who is experiencing homelessness, who offers him a place to stay at the mission. How incredible is that? It’s like the widow’s offering.

At the time I was experiencing a time of financial insecurity. I was about to go through a season that could have led to being without a roof over my head. Without the privilege of family members to help me until I could get back on my feet, I’m not sure where I would have been. This season of life changed me dramatically. It changed how I saw the world.

It broke my heart for the members of my community who are not as fortunate to have family and need people to step up into the gap and help. I was determined, that once I got through this period I wanted to support this mission through financial contribution and I have done this. And by supporting this mission, I’ve continued to learn how much kindness and generosity change everything.

Of course, because I am a flawed human I got distracted by work once I was back to being employed and lost a few years in my own world, but thankfully God was relentless in putting this on my heart. I’m grateful for His willingness to not give up on us even when we are unfaithful workers.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Mark 12:41-44 NIV

The simple yet impactful work of the Street Outreach Team to go out daily conduct wellness checks, and distribute water, food, and hygiene items within the homeless encampments in Pittsburgh makes a huge difference. Inviting people back to the mission and doing this every day – this is how we make a difference.

It’s about remembering people who go unseen in our individualistic and capitalist society and showing up for them every day. It shirks the standard, the lie that if you don’t have financial means or stuff you don’t matter.

Yeah, it’s sick. But it is modern society. Actually, it’s always been a part of our societies from Victorian workhouses to the beggars at the gates in the Bible, it’s a human problem to ignore those in our world who need community the most.

We Will Not Be Shaken

When the city of Pittsburgh decided to clear out homeless encampments by force, Light of Life stood up to challenge the approach of the city officials and make them consider the root cause of the problem, the systemic problem, instead of ignoring the problem.

Like many cities around the United States, Pittsburgh is experiencing rising homelessness within the population. Some of this is due to the housing crisis, but also the affordability of housing is changing within the city, and there is an unaddressed drug problem on the rise that is not being dealt with. Addiction and homelessness can go hand in hand, so why not address the addiction problem too?

This is what Light of Life offers at their rescue mission in addition to dignity, community, and a way forward for families and individuals who are struggling to uplift them and equip them for the bright and secure futures they can have. It’s about hope.

I think too often we overlook how much mental health can wreck our lives.

When I was struggling to find steady employment after college, I felt depressed and anxious because I was working hard to find a job but the jobs simply didn’t exist. I was living frugally but I still had to give up my apartment and move back in with my mom because I ran out of money.

I was incredibly depressed during this season and I isolated myself due to my embarrassment when I really needed people to talk to about these feelings to be able to move forward. This is what the work of the Light of Life Rescue Mission aims to do, by challenging the culture, to show up for our neighbors instead of ignoring them in their time of need.

I believe this mindset is what we need in our world, more than ever after the worldwide trauma of 2020, and how that disconnected us all. We need to bring our sense of community back instead of isolating ourselves behind technology or accumulating things to feel little hints of joy. We need each other. We need true joy, hope, love, and peace.

Most importantly, we need to remember that people deserve dignity. To think beyond our little spheres. It’s a daily challenge for me, I get so wrapped up in my stuff, and that’s not what is important. Like remembering that heat waves or cold weather can have severe consequences for those in our communities who are living without. So as the summer sizzles on and we look to the cold ahead, how can we all make a difference for those around us who need support?

#62 – Lightning, Meeting the Neighborhood & Wallabies

This weekend started off a little bit wild. At first, it was a normal Saturday, a day we decided to run errands and do normal things we had been unable to get done during the week. Nothing crazy, just the normal chaos of navigating the stores in our town that was feeling extra Stars Hollow-y that day.

Then four o’clock hit and things got wild. It started with some gray clouds rolling in from the northwest. Nothing too crazy, a bit dark, but they seemed like rain clouds, not a grand thunderhead. We had plans to go to Keystone Safari towards the end of the day, which is all outside, a little rain wouldn’t ruin it.

Strike One

But then the dark clouds began to produce lightning and thunder rumbles, so we checked the radar, nothing big just a passing shower. So I continued to get ready to leave and that’s when the rain began to come down in a deluge, the wind kicked up and the lighting put on a grand finale. We were engulfed in a full-on banger of a storm with the culmination crescendoing in a palpable strike and immediate thunder so loud it felt like it happened on our street.

In fact, it did. The lighting struck the transformer up the road and we were now in the middle of a storm with our power gone. My first thought was the fridge and the freezer, and the dinner I was really hungry for. Downright hangry. We had built a fire pit earlier in the day with bricks and I had passed on getting a snack at Sheetz because I was excited about the dinner I would cook. I opted for Mt. Dew and that caffeine was hitting hard.

My mind was moving a mile a minute because I was genuinely surprised. There had been no forecast of storms, barely any rain on the radar. There had been no warning from our local college’s severe storm alert system or even a lightning or severe storm alert from the weather apps. Actually, before the big bolt of lightning hit the transformer, I was ready to get in the car. I’m really glad I decided to wait for the rain to slow down or we would’ve been outside for that and that would’ve been sketchy. This just furthers my frustration with those tornado and storm sirens, this may have been a good time to use them!

Community Matters

What turned into an unexpected evening of silence, the neighborhood I learned is downright silent without air conditioners running, it was actually a time of fellowship. It reminded me of what would happen after a big storm in the neighborhood I lived in as a kid, the neighbors would head outside and check on each other. So this storm which in my hanger felt like a big slap in the face, became a way to meet and bond with my neighbors.

They’re all so nice and warm. Especially compared to the neighborhood we lived in before we bought this house, which was cold. Our neighbors called the power company immediately to report the issue and started checking on people. I met people all around us and had a blast doing it. I even learned more about the property we bought and its history. It truly was turning lemons into lemonade.

Thankfully the power connection was able to be fixed twice. After an hour in a half, which was incredibly fast, the workers were able to repair our line for a few minutes until we heard a loud pop. It was out again, but it didn’t last and they were able to replace all the necessary parts. Most importantly, no one was hurt.

Wallaby, Pygmy Hippo, and a Cloud Leopard

The rest of the weekend, including the two days of vacation my husband took at the beginning of the week were blissfully uneventful and we got to catch up on some things we hadn’t done yet this year because of the move and other distractions. We finally got to Living Treasures to see the Cloud Leopard, the Pygmy Hippotamus, and the sweetest little wallabies and juvenile kangaroos. Walking around the park and getting to be around animals brings me so much joy. Same with Keystone Safari, it is such a calming place to reset and unplug.

The weather after that storm has been spectacular. There has been a coolness, a crispness that feels like autumn is closer than we think. Some of the leaves are already changing. The sky has been spooky and rainy, like a mist that only happens in October. Autumn and spooky season is the time of the year I crave so it has been a wonderful surprise to see highs in the low 60s Fahrenheit and lows in the upper 40s Fahrenheit in August! I can’t wait for all the fall things! 🙂

I’d say overall this little staycation was a great way to reset but most importantly, by losing power and having to lean on the kindness of strangers, I feel like I have settled into this place. It’s starting to feel like home. I also learned to trust my observation skills, and really be skeptical of the meteorologist. I know they have made huge advances lately in technology but dang, they dropped the ball this weekend for me. I think education on how storms work and how to be safe is better than these apps because they fail and there’s really nothing we can do about it. Aside from petting baby goats, that really seemed to lift my spirits this weekend. 10/10 recommend.

Kindness in the Culture: Cottontail Cottage

The algorithm brought something truly life-changing to me, shocking right? Not because it was a product or a service or an ideology, but because it reminded me that goodness, gentleness, and kindness make the world a better place. That is what makes Cottontail Cottage so special.

Prey animals. They are animals that get forgotten by us humans, sometimes they are seen as nuisance animals to us. They dig up our yard or garden, like chipmunks, squirrels, and rabbits. They are animals that our pets discover, like baby rabbit nests, skunks, and birds, that dogs and cats interact with. They are animals that we come into collision with our cars like deer, rabbits, skunks, and opossums. We forget that we are in their space and that our urban sprawl is eating into their native homes.

The decorative plants, concrete, mowing, roads, and traffic, have changed their home forever. And yes, I understand that this is what humans do, I think sometimes we forget how to live in harmony with creation, and to take accountability for how our dominion of the land, affects its original inhabitants. (Something that America has a whole lot of failings with for both disrupting nature, but also historic nations and their societies. That is a topic for another day, that I culturally do not have the appropriate experience to speak about. But it is something I recognize.)

Learning about a small wildlife rescue, located in New York state that is volunteer-run and donation funded, was one of the most amazing things I’ve learned about. Briggette Dix and her team are dedicated to treating and rehabilitating orphaned and injured neonate Eastern Cottontail rabbits. They prioritize care that puts the Eastern Cottontail first, by not treating the rabbits in a way that disrupts their wildlife nature but allows them to heal, grow strong, and be released back into the wild.

They help Eastern Cottontails, chipmunks, squirrels, deer, skunks, birds, opossums, and even bats. They bring awareness to treating wildlife with respect and dignity and encourage healthier boundaries between our world and them. For example, encouraging pet owners to be aware of wildlife in their yard to prevent dogs and cats from stumbling upon baby rabbit nests. They treat bites, car accident carnage when animals are struck by cars, and rescue animals from dangerous situations such as birds stuck on glue traps, rabbits caught in window wells, etc.

Briggette and her team are a shining light in contrast to the darkness of our society and their generous work is something of great importance to our world. In my region, we are seeing wild animals and humans coming into closer and closer contact. Coyotes walking down city roads at night, or curling up beside cars for a night’s sleep, bears wandering into yards and Walmart parking lots, animals like rabbits, deer, skunks, opossums, raccoons, and more being at greater and greater risk of habitat loss because of out of control development.

Wooded areas and meadows are being sold off to create townhouse neighborhoods as people move out of decaying cities instead of working to fix what is broken. They are taking what little habitat we have left for these natural animals and it is not good for anyone. We all need our places to exist. We need a healthy ecosystem, which includes flora and fauna on all levels of the food chain so that nature can do its thing and we can continue to enjoy our wild places.

It’s in all of our best interests to do better and be kinder to our prey animals and their world. Encouraging kindness in the culture, I believe goes beyond just being nice to our fellow humans, it means being kind to our nature and our animals as well. They were here first and deserve our respect. That’s what the work of Cottontail Cottage is teaching me as both a soul wanting to bring change and as a supporter of their cause.

As a believer, I think it is what God is calling us to do, to care for what He made and respect it. Helping orphaned rabbits is agape love in action. How can you bring kindness into your culture?

Advertising That Promotes A Lack of Community as “Aspirational”

What bothers you and why?

There’s been this WhatsApp advertisement that has been popping up everywhere on my radar that just irks me a bit, well it’s starting to a lot the more I see it. On the surface, it seems like a harmless payday for the former stars of Modern Family to reprise their roles for a quick ad about a family group chat. But the more I watch the more I dissect in my mind and the story has a wild thesis that reflects life.

If you haven’t seen this ad, it has two stories one follows Phil Dunphy switching to an Android phone which destroys the Dunphy family group chat, the one lifeline they have to keep the relationship with adult kids alive, and as a result, everything is ruined until, they discover WhatsApp and the kids magically start talking to their parents again.

The second story features Mitch switching to an Android phone which causes Cam, Phil, and Claire to create a group chat without Mitch because his non-Apple phone is turning the chat green and not allowing them to use all the in-messaging features of their iPhones. Mitch is hurt and it is clearly played off as no big deal. WhatsApp saves the day as Mitch is brought back into the group before getting a new phone to communicate with his family.

Isn’t this wild? Like who would do that to their family members? Wait, this reminds me of being added to so many WhatsApp group chats instead of texting because I was one of the two Android phone people on my Dad’s side of the family. I thought it was so weird that we couldn’t just text…and that my brother with the Android was the only one who texted back. Oh my, it is like life.

Now weird family baggage aside, isn’t this a bizarre concept for an ad? Like in these days of hyper-division and our individualist culture, why are we creating a justification, even in jest, that it is okay to exclude a loved one from a group chat because a person chose one phone developer over another? That’s super weird. Especially for a communication app, it’s a bit crap to be honest.

Consumerism rearing its ugly head once again, is not a surprise, but can it leave our already lonely, friendship recession American culture alone? I get Meta wants to push their product and that Apple likes to promote exclusivity in their marketing but dang, this ad just bugs me. Especially with the addition of the characters of Modern Family, like, I’m sure the marketing team wasn’t thinking this deeply, but it feels like an unintentional commentary on society. Like is this the actual “modern family” in 2024 and if so can we turn this car around?

I sure hope not, but there are a lot of lonely people out there who are not being loved and cared for the way that they should be and as a culture, I think we need more connection, more ways to be a part of something. I know this is just a silly advertisement that will be done and forgotten in a few months, but what about the sentiment of division in the US? It’s not getting any better here, the events of July 13, 2024, certainly show that. And in Butler, PA, no less, not too far from here. That was eye-opening to see how the hate that is steeping under the surface is in all communities, even mine. It’s a problem we all need to take seriously.

People are getting less connected all the time, and I believe it is leaving us vulnerable to hurt, feelings of bitterness, and going through life not being able to live with purpose and love. We were created to be part of a community. We need friends, loved ones, and unconditional love. All this technology and consumerism is just creating more barriers to true connection and feelings of belonging than the ways that they improve our lives. Technology does make life easier, but it’s a toss-up for me if my life is truly that much better because I have a Samsung phone, and a Chromebook, and AI exists. You know what I mean?

I’m grateful for those moments with real people that happen offline. Like laughing so hard at a TV show with Kyle that our stomachs actually hurt. Sitting around a fire at a family friend’s house, watching a sunset and making smores and mountain pies in the fire, where time feels like it literally is standing still and I could be in 2024 or 2004. I think that’s what we need more of.

We need more people. More moments that bring joy, warmth, and memories. More core memories with people, connecting points, it doesn’t have to be special or expensive, just meaningful to you and your people.

To Bridget, Just As She Is: Accepting My Neurodivergence

One of my favorite scenes from Bridget Jones’ Diary is the dinner party at Bridget’s flat where she makes the blue soup and assorted congealed things. Despite the chaos and mishaps where she is authentically herself, Bridget’s friends and Mark Darcy toast her effort – “To Bridget…who we love…just as she is.”

In many ways, I identify with Bridget. I am a chaos monster who tries my hardest to not mess up, yet I do. I am a bit awkward, a bit of a goofball, I often feel out of place with who I think I should be compared to who I am if I am just myself. I spent most of my twenties trying to be someone I was not because I thought I needed to change to fit in. I wanted to succeed in life and my relationships, without getting to the root of why I felt like a weirdo.

Self-Reflection and Seeking Wise Counsel

I mentioned before that I discovered I was neurodivergent this spring because of the eclipse. I see now how poignant that timing was as my life would transform from April to July. Everything changed overnight, like everything, my relationship with my parents, my marriage, my living situation, my mental health, and the current direction of my life.

All for the better I can say with relief because life doesn’t always go that way. I see now that if I hadn’t been prepared for this season of life, things may not have changed for the better, my life could be in shambles instead.

Being unaware of my neurodivergent personality traits, caused me to feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and in a place of survival instead of feeling steady, relaxed, and open to the adventures life has for us. Changes seemed unbearable. Trust unthinkable. Faith was hard to find. I fought it, resisted letting go of control, and let God fully take the lead of what I was worried about.

Unbeknownst to me as to why I would need to brush up on wisdom, I felt led to study Proverbs at the beginning of 2024, and through this study, I was challenged to grow and broaden my approach to how I live life. To seek out wisdom, to prepare for things before they come in faith, to be fruitful with my time, and to guard my heart and mind from toxic patterns.

It was not an easy task, I really like wasting time and worrying about things that I can’t control. I can also be a negative person, instead of focusing on things that are positive and helpful, I’d circle down spirals of negative, snarky, toxicity. This kept me from seeing forgiveness, and being a cooperative person in my relationships, and made me too afraid to step out on faith for what God was planning for me. I needed to renew my mind!

God putting neurodivergence on my heart to look into opened so many doors, I see now, to understanding myself, my relationships, and what I truly want out of life. So as chaos descended in April, I was incredibly thankful that God went ahead of me and gave me such tools of understanding to navigate the big and scary things that were on the horizon.

Fights and Communication

A week before I learned that I was going to need a buy a house or move, my mom and I had a terrible fight. Like a really strange unavoidable fight like we were two asteroids on a crash course with each other.

At the time I was hurting and confused but through the fight, we actually accomplished huge milestones in communication. We placed new healthy boundaries and were brave enough to be honest with each other about what we needed. I was honest about my neurodivergence afterward because of the new safe space we created.

I didn’t know at the time but I had needed that safe space for a long time, over a decade, and I was going to need it immediately as my life was going to be in upheaval with the move and house-buying process.

Having my mom as my confidant, my buddy, and my raft in stormy seas, was exactly what I needed. It was incredible. From chaos to order. That’s how God works.

In the same way, understanding my neurodivergence helped me draw closer to Kyle, finally being able to communicate what I needed and how we could work together and support each other more effectively. It was something we were going to need to be able to work in sync to determine what we were going to do. If we planned to rent a new place or purchase a house, and if so, where? I can see now how all these little things were woven together to make these steps in faith easier because I sought out wisdom and prepared before the trial came.

Bridget, Just as She is

When things got tough, chaotic, and tricky for me to navigate as a highly sensitive person, neurodivergent, and struggling to navigate the change without feeling overstimulated and scared, I didn’t have to explain how I was feeling. Kyle, my mom, and Scott my dad were one step ahead and ready to catch me as I stumbled. Most importantly God was with me every step of the way, and it was incredible to feel His love through the people around me.

As we moved through the process, the move, the closing, the navigating the weird limbo between renting and buying, the move-in, etc. This wonderful, gentle landing place was there for me through the love of my family and friends and around me, the sensitivity toward what I needed. They made me feel loved and worthy through my vulnerable moments, encouraged me when I was feeling low, and comforted me when this world felt too big and too much for me.

I am forever grateful for this journey because I feel secure like I’m on solid ground again. I don’t feel like a weirdo anymore that needs to change to succeed. I feel ready for this world. Okay with who I am and not afraid to be myself because I am a little different.

I have accepted myself for who God created me to be, differences and all. My loved ones have reinforced this. I see this came together so seamlessly because I first sought wisdom, which helped me figure out what I needed from my relationships, and most importantly I learned to give my loved ones a chance to be there for me.

Letting people in is hard. It can also be incredibly rewarding. So is taking the time to encourage, accept, and support people who you love. When a community comes together, amazing things truly do happen, even on the smallest scale.

I challenge you to seek out wise counsel, self-reflection, and healthy boundaries, and find the people who love you just as you are. Be brave and let people see the real you. Be even more brave and support others, a random act of kindness goes a long way! For example on Saturday, my mom reached out and held my hand when we were in a big crowd. That small gesture reminded me that all the overstimulation I was feeling, was temporary and it was going to be okay.

Thank you, dear reader, for spending time with me today. ❤

It’s Not Busy Work, it’s Motivation in the Chaos

When I was a kid and honestly, into adulthood, I thought studying the Bible and understanding the entire story, the nooks and crannies of the book that get skipped over, well I thought it was a lot of busy work that I wanted no part of. Especially after those four years of academia, no thanks.

But then I saw people in my life, who did spend all that time being consistent in the Word have much less stress and worry, despite stressful and difficult things. It didn’t make sense to me. I just thought they were more mature than me or could handle life better, as each stress and challenge KO-ed me into a tailspin of anxiety. Maybe they were lucky? Tougher?

They might be, but honestly, since I decided to try their method and read the entire Bible from 2020-2021, I felt like I had a new well of examples to draw on when life got hairy. A reminder of God’s promises to think about instead of comparing my circumstances to others and questioning why this bad lot was happening to me. It sparked the faith and hope for a tomorrow that sustained me through the past two months.

It wasn’t an instantaneous change. I didn’t realize I had made progress until I put work in. Like with everything in life, building faith, learning to hope, and having a scriptural reminder to lean on during the tough days took effort and consistency. Like a workout plan, a garden, language learning, etc. It all takes time and practice. I think that is why there is such an emphasis on perseverance and courage in the Bible because in those moments that test us faith, hope, and peace arrive because you have taken the time to immerse yourself in the manner in which God does things.

It’s motivation in the chaos when nothing makes sense and even you are second-guessing your own choices. For example, the eclipse, which I mentioned before I wasn’t a fan of, but in the moment of the totality, unless you have the knowledge of astronomy to understand that the sun isn’t actually disappearing, it just appears blocked because of the orbit of the earth around the sun perfectly lining up with the orbit of the moon at the right time. Although I knew that was happening, the eerie feeling of the sun ceasing to shine in the middle of the day was bizarre! I knew it would come back and the eclipse would only last a few minutes, there was that little voice in the back of my head that was whispering doubt that everything wouldn’t be okay and the sun would get lost back there, maybe take a wrong turn.

That little voice of doubt lives in all of us. It comes out at the most inconvenient times! It has arrived and set up camp in my head through this whole house debacle. Through all the chaos, I was spending time in prayer but I was struggling to find time to sit down with God’s word and find new motivation. As a believer, reading the Bible is a source of refreshment, it feels like listening to a song which amps you up, I also do that too. (My current favorite is WORK by Ateez). I was worried through all the chaos that not spending time in God’s word would lead to me running out of gas and losing my heart to carry on.

In a recent post, I spoke to where I’ve been but all the chaos of our landlord’s decision to sell the house we lived in and offer us a sketchy deal on it was just the half of it, as we were looking for peace from her lack of boundaries and decorum, we were also looking for a new place to live. There were days when my landlord would dump a whole bunch of stress on my shoulders and then personally the details for our new house would throw down hurdles of chaos. Endless paperwork, the possibility of it not being possible at all, and having to find a new plan, it was a lot and I was surprised in those moments how scripture passages of encouragement from Psalms and Proverbs or stories of struggle by real people in the Bible would find their way into my mind. It would reinvigorate my drive to keep going. It kept me from quitting in frustration.

As a kid, things with my dad leaving us at an early age reinforced this narrative in my head that I didn’t deserve happiness or that the other shoe would always drop. Even though God provided a better life than I would have ever had with my narcissistic and verbally abusive dad, instead of focusing on the good, my brain has fixed on the bad. I have given up on so many hard things in life because I hit a bump in the road and just thought it was what I deserved. It sounds so silly to say it out loud. By digging into the Word over the past four years, that time of study has assisted me in pushing that voice down, in order to reframe what God has in store for me.

Things will probably get bad, over and over again. This world is fallen and can really suck sometimes. There will be jerks but there will also be good people. In life there will be times of joy and sadness, there will also be times of hardship. One setback is just a setback, not a lifestyle. I wish I had pursued studying the Bible sooner because I think there was a lot of peace available in my life that I refused to acknowledge. I did it the hard way, alone. It didn’t need to be like that.

Even if you are not a person of faith, I hope this encourages you to prioritize your mental health so that you will have a deep well to draw from on those hard days. You are not alone. I think you are awesome. ❤

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