This past weekend, I cut my hand while we were trying to take down our garden fence. It wasn’t a super bad cut, but it was bad enough that we thought stitches may have been needed. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. But while we were trying to figure out how bad it was and getting it covered to stop the bleeding, we realized that we no longer had any large bandages or butterfly closures. We ended up going to our next-door neighbors, a retired couple who have become our friends, to ask if they had any larger bandages. In spite of my blood, they immediately welcomed us into their house so that we were out of the cold. They put a large bandage on my cut and gave us extra bandages and a package of bleed stop. The bandage did enough to slow the bleeding and gave us enough time that we were able to go to Wal-Mart that night and buy even more first-aid supplies. And given how well the cut has healed in the days that have followed, I think they may have helped me avoid an emergency room visit and stitches.
In the two days after we reached out for help, each of them checked in on me to ask how the cut and my hand were, and I could feel the genuine care. I didn’t get the impression that they were asking as a courtesy but instead truly cared about Magz and me. And this wasn’t the first time we’ve had this type of an experience with these neighbors. They’ve let us borrow books, shared beers, and have always made us feel welcome in the neighborhood. We’ve always tried to reciprocate the kindness through snowblowing, sharing vegetables from our garden, giving beers to try, and baking cookies for them.
These neighborly actions extend beyond our next-door neighbors too. Last week, we had an issue with an Amazon delivery that went to the back porch of our neighbor across the street. We had no idea where the package was left, but two days later, it appeared on our front porch with a kind note from our neighbor, apologizing for the delay and opening it without realizing it was ours. I’m bringing these situations up because they filled us with incredible warmth and happiness.
Perhaps the craziest part of these examples is how caught off guard we were by them. We’ve lived here for more than two years, but anytime someone goes out of their way to display kindness, it still surprises us. That’s because it hasn’t been the norm for us. Where we previously lived, the house we rented was between two houses where the owners didn’t keep their dogs on leashes, so there was a lot of dog poop to deal with. Before that, one of our neighbors was hot and cold with their friendship. Before that, our flat was one in a series of one-story townhomes, and no one really interacted. Finally, our first apartment was on the top floor of a house, where the first floor consisted of two businesses. It was not very neighborly, to say the least.
I love the neighborhood we live in now. It reminds me of where my dad lives. Everyone knows everyone else in his development. People go for walks and talk to each other. Sometimes it’s a full conversation. Other times it’s a simple hello to someone on their porch. We have that here. People sit on their porches and talk. They’ll go out of their way to say hello and be friendly, while at the same time, they respect others’ privacy, which is the best of both worlds.
At one time, I think this was more common than it is now. I’m not someone who believes everything was better than it is now. That’s a doomsday and nihilistic approach to life, which doesn’t help. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the reality that there’s less community and communication now than there used to be. Working from home, social media, and the internet have all contributed to a society where face-to-face contact isn’t as important as it once was. It’s easy to go a week or more without leaving your house/property and saying hello to your neighbors. For a long time, I was happy with this. Not having to talk to anyone was a dream, but I’m not realizing how unhealthy that is.
It’s an incredible feeling to know that your neighbors are looking out and care for you. It’s worth it to nurture friendships with our neighbors so that we know what’s going on in their lives and can recognize when something is wrong. It’s my belief that we’re meant to live in community with one another, and doing so requires communication and openness. The experiences of the past week with our neighbors serve as reminders to be friendly. That doesn’t mean we have to be best friends with all of our neighbors, but there are many benefits to knowing their names and not being strangers.
I’m guessing that most of us grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood on PBS. Each episode began with his theme song, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” The first verse’s lyrics are:
It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?Somewhere along the way, a lot of us forgot or ignored Mr. Rogers’ message. The internet has allowed people to hide behind comments without ever having to speak to the person they’re attacking. People are quick to share defining opinions without any consideration of long-term repercussions. The result is that we live in a society that is polarizing and full of hatred. At one time, we could look to our leaders as examples of how to work together, but that isn’t the case currently. And yet, there are still pockets of brightness and care. Neighborhoods like ours exist all across the world even if they are no longer the norm. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right way to live. We should all try to be more like Mr. Rogers, whose message was full of love and kindness. Perhaps if we all emulated him just a little, we could fight against all the hatred that we see in Washington and see leaders be elected who also emulate Mr. Rogers. I think it’s a goal worth pursuing. And so I leave you with this: Even though we may not live in physical proximity to each other, I’d love for you to be my neighbor. I encourage you to say “hello” or “Howdy, Neighbor,” as Wilson from Home Improvement would say to your own neighbor.
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