#21 – Sewing When I Lost the Love For It

A few weeks ago I shared part one of my Spring/Summer Collection for 2023. It’s not quite a capsule wardrobe, because I think I made too many pieces for it to count as a capsule but I used the capsule/collection philosophy. By this I mean, making a selection of clothing items with the intention of mixing and matching with the other created pieces and existing items in my wardrobe. Basically one complete thought. I chose to sew the new items instead of buying them for the experience and control over the aesthetic and silhouette I saw in my head.

This was different than my Fall/Winter Collection for 2022 of which I kept one piece, the rest being presents for family and friends. With that collection, I intended to shower love and tailoring on those who have encouraged me to pursue my dream of sewing. I found it easier to stay motivated in crafting the pieces I was giving away. The perfectionist in me was wrapped in ambition and drive to showcase the best possible garment. If I am doing something for myself though, the timetable gets a little scattered.

Stuck in My Head

I began the year 2023 with some setbacks, an injury to my hand, tendonitis in my fingers, my sewing machine had a gremlin in the tensioner, and I had a blow to my confidence.

Two members of my dysfunctional family accepted their gifts with some digs to my construction and design, requesting a whole new item at my cost. I felt like a failure. If my loved ones wouldn’t accept my designs, why should I bother chasing this fashion design dream? Wouldn’t I just end up in tears again? I sat with my fabric stash for a month, reviling it, wishing it would wander off in the night. Then I remembered the resources that were spent purchasing the fabric to make a summer & spring wardrobe. Yeah, I had to keep sewing. I was going to be extremely wasteful not to.

Armed with the encouragement of my husband and my best friend, they got me back in the design frame of mind. With it being the end of February, the Western Pennsylvania weather decided it was time to ride a roller coaster of seasons – one day spring, one day summer, next day winter. Winter for a week, summer for a week, and so forth. This truly lit a fire under me because I had donated or repurposed all the shorts that didn’t fit me for the opportunity to design my own. I budgeted for fabric not shopping – it was time to stop wallowing and figure out how to design some dang shorts!

Scrap Fabric to Shorts

These were the first pair, out of scrap material from the Antrim Coat. I figured out the cut lines for the seat and leg holes from The Essentials Club on Youtube, adapting my waistband for a drawstring of a shoelace. They are a little big but I love how floaty the leg openings are!

New Found Confidence in the Skill, not the Audience

I learned that sometimes the best way to bounce back from discouragement is to keep moving forward. I sewed through it, with the right people behind me. I determined why I was sewing – not to find approval from two family members that can be fickle but instead to finish what I started. Commitment to the craft, and commitment to learning. Actually being my own customer helped me define what I like and who I want to be. Who I want to be is not a business owner with an atelier or a designer that is unconnected to hard work. Starting a shop, which was my goal in 2023, is now a thing of the past.

Sharing my clothes as gifts was a fun idea, but selling is not where I feel called to be right now. Sewing every day, although it was fun before Christmas, wrecks my shoulders and back. I actually hate it and don’t want to do it. It changed my perspective on what being a sewist and fashion designer can mean, but more on that later.

Anyways, my point is, sometimes a closed door is a waypoint for a better thing on the horizon. A setback is not always a bad thing. They reveal what we are and who we want to be. I think the important thing is to remain teachable and ready for the twists to become a better version of ourselves.

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