Being a Gentle Soul in the Social Media Age is Hard

I woke up this morning and was scrolling Instagram to wake up, I was feeling pretty groggy from a mediocre night’s sleep. Acid reflux got me again! Anyways, I saw a post from the Stray Kids official account with a dark square. I immediately had a sinking feeling. After the tragic loss of Moonbin, I knew that Bang Chan was struggling. I hoped everyone was okay. I scrolled down to see the English caption and found a puzzling series of paragraphs. I like many other Stays found this morning, an apology from Chan for his comments during his most recent live on Youtube, Chan’s Room. To be honest, even though I had seen the clip he was apologizing for, it took me a few minutes to register what he was talking about. That is the reason I am writing this, I think some things on social media are getting out of hand, especially for those of us with a gentle soul like Bang Chan. Since this drama was created by K-pop fans, I think as a K-pop fan I should do my part to counteract all the negativity being thrown around and show some love, Stray Kids fam style.

What do I mean by Stray Kids’ fam style? Well, it’s a bit of a tangent, but if you are not familiar with Stray Kids and their band culture – they are one big supportive family. They love “Stay” the fandom name for Stray Kids enthusiasts. They also love each other, showing up in the joyful moments and the hard ones. For example, when I.N., the youngest member, sang off-key at a K-pop competition called “Kingdom” he was so disappointed in himself that he was overcome with emotion that he cried back at the band’s apartment. When the other members, who were in the living room saw I.N. crying in the kitchen they went to him and enveloped him in a group hug, wanting to know what was wrong and how they could help. They are a really sweet group of guys. They are also quite passionate about their work, being one of the hardest-working bands at JYP Entertainment. Bang Chan who is the leader of the group, along with Han and Changbin write and produce the band’s music. He also hosts a weekly live stream on Youtube called Chan’s Room where he interacts with the fans through live chat.

As a fan, not knowing him personally, he comes across as a very dear person, truly caring for the fans. His responses to questions are so thoughtful. He genuinely does not seem affected by their fame, it is one of the reasons why Stray Kids is so popular. That is why this whole controversy is so bizarre to me. Okay with context established, so a fan on the live asked about an event called Music Bank Paris that happened in April, I believe. There were a lot of bands at the event, and at these events, the bands have some interaction. They at least greet each other and are generally friendly. I mean for them it’s literally a work event, being friendly just seems natural. Chan mentioned that it was frustrating to see some younger bands not greet the older bands, which he claimed he may sound like a “boomer” for admitting. He never mentioned names, he did not call out anyone in particular and he was respectful in how he shared his thoughts.

That’s pretty typical of Chan, he is professional and respectful when he shares his opinions. He is not aggressive in his delivery, this is why I was caught off guard by his apology. I’m not the only one! Most of the comments below the apology expressed confusion and disappointment in the pot-stirring fans who created rumors about who Chan was referring to, creating the drama. The fans also expressed frustration at JYP Entertainment for their role in the apology and called JYP out for not doing a better job at handling this when K-pop idols are pushed to do these live-stream shows by the company. I have to agree, this was all blown out of proportion by social media. Just like a rumor mill in a small town, a few gossipy viewers decided to assume which bands Chan was referring to and ran with those ideas, inventing the entire thing. That’s poor behavior. They are the ones that should be apologizing, in my opinion.

Because Chan is such a sensitive person, he conveyed in the apology how much he was grieved by this situation and never meant to hurt anyone. I love that about him, but I don’t think he hurt anyone. I think the random commenters who decided to figure out the band Chan was referring to did the hurting. And to be honest, respecting your elders in many cultures, especially Korean culture is a big deal. So greeting the older bands at events like Music Bank Paris seems like a no-brainer to me just like being respectful and kind. The fact that none of the drama-crafting fans stopped to consider the cultural side baffles me.

This whole situation points to a deeper problem for me, as a fellow sensitive person, with a few sensitive and gentle friends – why does it seem like the people who are genuinely nice seem to be ripped apart on social media more than the aggressors? Do you know why? Cause I see it all the time. It’s why I don’t have Twitter or TikTok. There is a growing culture of nastiness on these platforms that is trickling into the culture. And it concerns me. Why does our social media society seem to reward rudeness and hearsay? I don’t think we should have to respect the mob mentality that dictates that might is right. Social media clout lacks wisdom and generosity of spirit, which are key ingredients that make communities function in a healthy state. Take a look at what happened to the girls in the viral “Baseball Mean Girls” TikTok video, they were doxxed because the cloud of social media outrage descended into their personal lives, although the girls made it right with the woman they flipped off in the video outside of TikTok, none of this seems to matter to those carrying forth the social media justice. And I digress, my point is that Chan’s apology is a symptom of a bigger problem of the heart we are seeing in the people within our societies, and if we don’t address the heart and start acting in kindness and grace toward others when you think someone has made a mistake, we are in for a lot of strife.

Thank you Chan for being Stray Kids’ best leader! The music you create with 3racha and the rest of Skz has truly made such a positive impact on my life. Even if you make mistakes, this Stay will show you grace and love.

May 17, 2023

#23 – Soundtrack of Life, My Mood Boost

BOOMBAYAH – Blackpink

Sugar Rush Ride – TOMORROW X TOGETHER

Blue Hour – TOMORROW X TOGETHER

Wonderland – ATEEZ

Maknae on Top – I.N. feat. Bang Chan & Changbin)

The Real (Heung Ver.) – ATEEZ

Not Shy – ITZY

THAT THAT – Psy feat. Suga of BTS

Sticker – NCT 127

DNA – BTS

Feel Special – TWICE

Thunderous – Stray Kids

Whistle – Blackpink

God’s Menu – Stray Kids

Pirate King – ATEEZ

Fancy – TWICE

Dynamite – BTS

ANTIFRAGILE – LE SSERAFIM

Back Door – Stray Kids

Faster – NCT 127

9 And Three Quarters (Run Away) – TOMORROW X TOGETHER

Kick It – NCT 127

Next Level – aespa

Case 143 – Stray Kids

Butter – BTS

Spicy – aespa

May 17, 2023

ATEEZ’s Don’t Stop M/V is a Masterpiece

My first comeback experience for the South Korean boy band ATEEZ was for their single Don’t Stop. I gave their music a try thanks to the recommendation of Katie from Steal the Spotlight. What was at the time a random song pick, has become a piece of fashion inspiration that I could watch on repeat and my journey to becoming a new member of Atiny.

Ateez debuted on October 24, 2018, with the song ‘Pirate King’ and incorporated the pirate aesthetic into their lightstick, insignias, and this video, ‘Don’t Stop’. I love the pirate aesthetic, with The Pirates of the Caribbean series being one of my favorites for costume design. In the music video ‘Don’t Stop’ the pirate aesthetic is mixed with an Ocean’s Eleven style heist framework making this a perfect match for me!

Pirates on a Quest for Redemption

The scene begins with a beaten and bruised Mingi being thrown from a car that later blows up. Cut to Hongjoong, seated at a grand piano in a pirate-esque coat with a compass insignia looking at a pirate ship model, with the implication of loss and frustration.

In the shadow of night, we meet Seonghwa, Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho as they break into a pawn shop. This is no ordinary pawn shop but one containing a pirate-style sword and a skull. In pure Ocean’s Eleven style, they break into the vault of I assume the guys who took Mingi to retrieve the title for their pirate ship. I believe Yunho wears the jacket with a skeleton motif, evoking to me the skull and crossbones of a pirate flag but also the ghost pirates of ‘The Curse of the Black Pearl.’

Meanwhile, Wooyoung and San try to take the baddies in a rigged poker game for their spyglass.

Things begin to turn, from the ashes of the blown-up car, Mingi finds a compass that matches the patch on Hongjoong’s coat.

In a fit of despair, Hongjoong, aka the Captain, throws an oil lantern off the piano he stands on, next to the pirate ship, and it looks as though he is going down with the ship in a sea of fire. It’s a visually stunning image. Instead, he throws the small pirate ship into the flames that have consumed the piano. The ship shatters, sending an ember upwards into his eye. In spite of the destruction, within the flames and remains of the tiny ship, a skeleton key is seen at the feet of Hongjoong.

The video culminates with Mingi being picked up by Seonghwa, Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho in an armored car with a pirate king hood ornament reminiscent of the siren on the bow of a pirate ship. San and Wooyoung, winners of the game go to claim their prize but not before the gang seizes the spyglass. At this moment the armored car erupts through the wall to save San and Wooyoung.

When we see Hoongjoong next, he takes his full form as the pirate king with an eye patch. He stumbles down an empty road, in the distance from where he came smoke billows upward. As darkness falls, the crew reunites with Hongjoong to reveal their bounty – the compass, the title to the ship, the looking glass, and a bag full of cash. The video ends with all eight members, changed to pirate-inspired garb, walking towards the camera, past the camera, in search of something bigger. In the distance we see beached on a desert dune, the stern of their pirate ship.

The Fashion is Rich in Details

There are a lot of looks I would like to recreate from this video. By far the standout piece for me is the yellow plaid pants with faux skirt worn by Mingi. They are like punk plaid pants mixed with a kilt in the best way possible. I hope to figure out the pattern someday so that I can sew my own version. Seriously, why is this not a style seen on the runway or the street? It’s such a versatile statement piece.

The lapels, length, and overall cut of Hongjoong’s pirate coat is such a classic outerwear silhouette but with the twist of the graphic print and edgy styling, it looks like a brand-new kind of coat. Because of how much work goes into the tailoring process of making an outerwear garment I love seeing how the right styling can make a piece even more wearable.

San’s sweater with the axe motif and color-blocked sleeves is one of the most unique sweaters I have seen. I hope as my knitting skills improve I can attempt to make a sweater using the techniques and make my own version of his look at the poker game.

Yunho’s skeleton-inspired letterman jacket would be such a great thrift flip. As a girl who grew up with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and the “rawr” aesthetic of ‘scene’ being quite popular in my teen years, I have an appreciation for skulls. I even have an Alexander McQueen skull scarf that I think would fit perfectly in the music video.

San and Wooyoung’s final looks of the video shine for me as the pirate core aesthetic has emerged in 2022/2023. It is such a clean and modern interpretation of the romanticized pirate style this aesthetic celebrates. San’s vest to me evokes those little details of the Spanish galleon. The vertical lacing looks like bones from a Jolly Roger flag. The criss-cross lacing evokes the stays and early corsetry of the pirate era and the rigging of the sails.

Wooyoung’s half vest looks like a piece of armor, reminiscent of a holster, but it also bridges the gap between East Asian pirates and Western pirates of the Atlantic. The lacing on his shoulder adds the subtle detail of the classic men’s shirt of the period worn by Western pirates. I also enjoy the contrast of the white shirt, like a sail, and the black of the half vest, like the black flag being raised for an attack.

All in all, I love the fantasy of this music video. Fashion and music can bring out the best in each other when there is a clear vision. The stylist for Ateez continually inspires me to push my own style further and excites me for the day when I can construct garments with the level of care that is seen on the band members.

May 1, 2023