To Write, You Must Read

To write, you must read. Simple right? Like any skill, it requires building those muscles, learning from example, immersion in a new concept, but as I started to brainstorm a new novel project, my tank was empty. I had concepts, settings, character types, but the world building through dialogue and metaphor…it was pretty bland. Not what I expected!

When I began work on Udal Cuain in the summer of 2016, the story poured out of my mind. I had to carry a notebook around, for the small pieces of plot, personality, and setting I found welling up throughout my day. Names were easy to determine, as well as the dramatic conflicts. Why does it feel so different? Well, I remembered something when I picked up Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim – to be a good writer, you must read other stories. In 2016, I wasn’t sewing, knitting, or gardening; I was reading in my spare time. I was still watching movies and TV shows regularly, instead of how I spend my time now watching far too many YouTube videos.

Although I have read a lot of books, it’s past tense. I have not been a consistent reader for years now. Honestly, since 2021, my reading has dropped off. We moved from a town with an incredible library to a borough with a library that is so underwhelming, and on the verge of losing its funding, that I have not been reading new things, nor have I discovered new authors. I have a few books on my TBR list, books that I have bought with the intention of reading, but instead have become bookshelf decor. It’s disappointing.

I used to have a Kindle, where I would buy books on sale for $2.99, sometimes splurging on a full-price one if it was intriguing enough. I would borrow a book a month, and browse the free section for something fun to pass the time. A book I remember finding on a sale that became an absolute favorite of mine was ‘The Shadowy Horses’ by Susanna Kearsley. I found this book initially in high school, reading it before work and during breaks at my summer job. I found Susanna Kearsley again, books upon books of her work at my local library in Meadville. They had a fantastic selection, with a monthly rotation of featured books and new authors. This is how I found Elizabeth Lim – her debut novel, ‘Spin the Dawn’, was a featured YA selection with a stunning cover that drew me in.

I miss the rotation of books and the lack of consumerism. The books were picked by the librarians, books that I could borrow and return with the option of buying. Now, if I want to find something new, the best affordable option is Thrift Books, but it lacks the in-person ambience of a library. Kindle helped me find some great twisty thrillers during the time that the mid-2010s. Remember when Gone Girl, Girl on the Train, The Wife Between Us, and An Anonymous Girl? I used to love these twisty books. There was a fantastic emergence of fantasy around this time, too. I remember finding endless YA fantasy series on my library shelves – I miss that time in my life, diving from adventure to the next. A good story connects us, inspires us. I forgot how important it is to be immersed in stories to be a good storyteller.

So I have picked up reading again. I am forcing myself to put down my projects, and the Animal Crossing, which I didn’t play before when I was reading often, and to read again. It’s going okay. The moments I give myself to sit and read are magical, like I remember, and I think I’ve already had better ideas since reading again. I wish I had kept a list of the books I read in the 2010s; it’s a bit of a blur. Maybe, with a little research, I can find them again and share my favorites with you?

I hope you are enjoying your summer (or winter if you live in the southern hemisphere) and that you have a good story to escape into today. Thanks for checking out my corner of the internet today. I hope to see you again. ❤

Ideas for Summer Stashbusting Projects

As a yarn enthusiast, sometimes I have many skeins of different yarn that I don’t know what to do with. This happens when I buy sale yarn, find unexpected yarn secondhand, or buy too much of one color for a project. Purchasing the right yardage is definitely a learning process!

So, how can you make your yarn stash go further and use up those skeins you don’t know what to do with? An easy fix I’ve found is to get really scrappy, lean into stripes, experiment with colorwork, and my new favorite – blending yarn by holding two strands of different yarn, even variegated yarn, to make something fresh and inspiring! This has helped me need to destash, donate, or feel weighed down by my yarn inventory.

Once you have a color story, what do you stitch up? There are the tried and true tanks, tote bags, and scrappy cardigans, but what about something outside the box?

  • Baskets
  • Small Storage Bags with Zipper
  • Shorts
  • Sailor Collar
  • Overalls
  • Mini Skirts
  • Koozies
  • Tapestry

I get stuck in the idea of knitting as wearables, but it can be used to make so many things, and at the end of the project, you’ll have something truly unique from your own hands!

One of the most satisfying ways I have found to use up random yarn is colorwork. Hints of color with scrap that add a touch of whimsy? Sign me up!

Knitting a Dress for the First Time

Knitting a dress, how hard can it be right? It was actually pretty managable garment as an intermediate knitter. I would not recommend unless you have made a sweater before but would definitely recommend knitting a dress if you want a soft and stretchy garment that hugs you!

Inspiration

I have made plenty of dresses over the past 5 years, but they have all been cut and sewn from fabric. Knitting kicks it up a notch, asking you to assemble the dress, but make the fabric to boot. I thought it would be silly to try until I discovered some lovely crochet designers on You Tube who make with imagination!

I was inspired by Mama Gwen of TL Yarn Crafts to give designing a knit dress a try. She makes such beautiful dresses all from self-drafted patterns in knit and crochet. Along with Dana from Blondie Knots. Her Coachella scrap two piece outfit helped me have the boost of confidence to try something new.

Materials

Last summer at Joann, before the shenanigans began, I purchased 14 Big Twist Cotton 50g skeins on a sale with the intention of knitting a top. Many months later, this yarn was sitting in my stash with my mind uncertain if the punchy color changing yarn was my cup of tea for a cotton knit top. But a dress? Yes, that could work. Did I have enough yarn though? I’d have to make it so because there was no more being sold.

Because of the circumstances, I decided this dress would be my goodbye to Big Twist.

Design

I knew from sewing, my design would need to be a dress that was either tubular or empire waist to suit my body shape. I decided to knit this on US 7 needles, straight needles. Sometimes I would shift to circular, but this was not knit in the round. With the combination of yarn minders, a measuring tape and patience this dress came together!

To start I knew I wanted the bodice to be the anchor I worked out from so I cast on stitches to work horizontally. From the bodice, I then added one strap to plan the width and placement of the top. I was uncertain how much yardage the skirt would consume, therefore I paused to determine sleeves later.

My plan for the skirt was to knit a section by casting on the bottom of the bodice, adding stitches to increase width until I finished a skein. Repeat and fill out the row by picking up stitches to join the sections vertically into a tube. I continued on, and on  until weeks later I had a skirt but panicked that I was not going to achieve my desired length and second sleeve!

I decided to pull a teal yarn from my Landscape Painting with Yarn project. This hue pulled the cool tones into harmony in a pleasing way. I used two skeins of this teal color and then finished with the original Water Lily tonal yarn. I finished the second sleeve and tried on the piece with relative ease. There was one fit issue – plunging neckline. But it was a lovely, cozy knit from scratch dress!

The final touches to this project were addressing the neckline and the sleeves which were set too deep. I cast on to the neckline to fill in the gap and provided structure to the straps with several rows of decreases to give the dress a cap sleeve befitting my vision.

Final Thoughts

I am definitely making more dresses with knit! It’s far more pleasant than sewing if you want a comfy yet elegant style. You have both control of the drape and the fabric design. It’s your world, as Bob Ross would say.

This project was more than a goodbye to Big Twist, it was a new chapter for me. I began this journey 5 years ago to learn how to make and now I feel empowered by knowing I can make my own clothes, not just with fabric but with skeins of yarn and needles. It has been a wonderful journey of discovery!

If you want to knit a dress, I’d say go for it! If you’re a beginner, make one but not as your first project – you will be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of time this project took. It was weeks of work that as a beginner, would have scared me. In time I know you can do it though! ❤

Listening For Wisdom | 2025

It has been a while since I shared any Bible Study reflection posts on this blog, and I wanted to dive into why there has been such a drop-off in talking about the Bible.

It’s not because I have stopped reading the Bible or questioned my faith, nothing like that. Instead, it is because I am at a loss for how to write about what God is teaching me.

This year has been challenging; there is a lot of hurt going on around the world, and there has been a lot of chaos and hurt happening in my country. I have friends and family affected by DOGE. I am unhappy with the way ICE and immigration is being handled. I have been fearful of the tariffs, the executive orders, and the student loan discussions. I’ve been outraged, in tears, and had moments of feeling hopeless.  But I know God is steadfast.

There has also been chaos within American Christianity. There is a distinct difference between a follower of Jesus, a far-right Christian, a far-left Christian, and the Gods, G*ns, and Trump crowd. I am disappointed in the divisions in the church politically and the lack of adherence to Jesus’ message. It’s not about political allegiance, it’s about doing what the Bible says – caring for the poor, not being proud, not creating division, and loving your neighbor as yourself.

I have been praying a lot and listening to all I can to learn and see the world with Kingdom eyes, not American eyes. I want to see those who need help in society and help them regardless of who they are. Knowing how to put these lessons into words has been tricky because I am still listening and don’t feel qualified to weigh in on anything going on. Especially as a white, Jesus following, female – I see a lot of hypocrisy, apathy, and exclusionary entitlement from this demographic, and I don’t want to be taking up space when other voices need room to speak.

The major thing I have learned this year from listening, studying, and my own prayer-filled conversations with God has been to love. When I ask God for direction or an answer on how to help, I feel the resounding answer – love. Love them, specifically. I also feel immense righteous anger at injustice. I can’t ignore it; my heart is broken. I have been asking to see things the way that God wants me to, and that means recognizing the evil being done in the name of “good,” and that is not aligned with the Bible at all. It’s a mess, but one that I believe we can fix if we remember to humble ourselves, to admit wrong, ask forgiveness, and change behavior on a cultural level.

A verse that I learned about in a discussion of the Exodus Way, I believe, or maybe it was the beginning of the City series, was this verse from Ezekiel about why Sodom in particular angered God.

Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.

Ezekiel 16:49 ESV

That verse has eaten me up inside, as I see the rich getting richer and the poor being hurt more. How can any of our efforts be blessed if we are being selfish with the blessings we have?

I have also been reading Galatians. Paul’s writing just nails it every time. As humans, we are so cyclical in our bad behavior, but if we came together in unity and with the fruits of the spirit, dang, we could do some good. I am hopeful with each moment of protest that is carried out with words and without violence, that those moments will shine bright in the darkness.

Hopefully, I will feel more comfortable soon sharing more in-depth thoughts. It’s just a lot of chaos to sort through with God, to discern what is good in this mess of 2025. Clinging to Him above all, I guess, is the biggest takeaway.

Have you read or heard that passage of Ezekiel before? I was pretty stunned by that. I hope wherever you are, you know that you are loved. Until next time, thanks for spending time with me today, dear reader.

Starting a Knit Garment

Do you ever get stuck in start mode when beginning a new thing?

Like you’re wandering through a maze of ideas. Maybe it’s the planning stage, too many ideas, not enough organization? It’s weird. I feel such a rush when I have multiple WIPs on my needles. The satisfaction of binding off stitches and slipping that garment onto my body makes every week of work worth it!

The void though, between new idea and casting on a new project, is a shape shifting process. The indecision sets in.

  • What yarn should I use?
  • Do I have a color palette
  • Stockinette or a new stitch?
  • Texture?
  • Colorwork?
  • Do I have an inspriation garment in mind?
  • Have I thought about how I want to garment to fit?
  • How much positive or negative ease should I plan for?

The next phase is choosing needles, selecting the amount of yardage, and gauge swatching the stitches to inches ratio to calculate the size of the garment.

It feels as important to start with the correct amount of stitches as it does to pour a concrete foundation evenly. I think this is why I get stuck in neutral instead of shifting into gear – when you get a creative idea sometimes the final design outcome is a little fuzzy.

So how do I get out of it and move forward with my design? I sketch, even simply shading the colors together in simple patterns helps me see if the image in my head will fit the realized garment. I also start working with the room to frog the yarn and begin again.

That is my favorite thing about fiber art, you can tear out and begin again without ruining your materials. Even though the first stitches feel like concrete the process is flexible.

Do you get stuck in planning? How do you move your mind forward? Thanks for spending time with me today. You are amazing and I hope you know that you are loved. Until next time. ❤

Playing Animal Crossing Has Improved My Style

As a kid, one of my favorite pastimes was designing. I loved the fashion styling flash games from Lizzie McGuire and My Scene. I designed my own catalog of clothes for a made-up brand with my friends in 4th grade, illustrating with my school supplies and piecing it together with scrap paper. Mary-Kate and Ashley’s movies captured my imagination through their use of clothes to characterize each sister’s personality.

That’s So Raven enveloped me in imagination, not from her psychic abilities, no, Raven Baxter’s closet pulled me in! Raven’s room was a stunner as well, like Zenon Kar’s space station cabin, and my Fashion Polly’s colorful playsets that folded out like Richard Hammond’s caravan. My friends and I discovered shows like What Not To Wear and Trading Spaces, which launched my sketches from clothing brands to interior design. I had a notebook full of room drawings. There were designs with slides, hammock beds, and intricate themes. I drew a Survivor-themed room with a tribal council area on the lower level, an outer space room with circular windows and futuristic lighting, even a beach room with a lofted bed, sunset paint scheme, and a pool placed in the middle of the floor. I wish I knew what happened to these sketches; it’s been such a long time.

When I discovered Animal Crossing in 2020, I was curious what the fuss was about, and later the next year, we bought a Nintendo Switch, opening a world of design I thought was lost to childhood. I was thrilled! Animal Crossing New Horizons debuted in March 2020, and because of the unique time, it had a huge following for its charming island life. You begin your game landing on a deserted island as part of a Nook Inc. Getaway Package, and assist Tom Nook in developing the island with the help of Timmy, Tommy, Dodo Airlines, Blathers, Isabelle, and the villagers who move to the island with you.

But what about the fashion and the home decor? This game first places you in a tent that you upgrade into a house, with subsequent expansions costing large sums, but with a relaxed payment policy. You also gain the ability to design custom things with Nook Mile redemption upgrades, craft unique recipes from resources on the island, and buy items from Nook’s Cranny and clothing items from Able Sisters. A ridiculous amount of my gameplay, even years later, comes from pairing and collecting new clothing items for my character to wear on her adventures. This game loves coordination!

As a player who is well-versed in the Animal Crossing fashion catalog, I wait and anticipate finding my favorite pieces with each new island. The game has four seasons, with clothing corresponding to the season at play, including specialty garments for holidays. Currently, as I play in June, it’s wedding season and Able Sisters is selling traditional Japanese wedding attire, Nook Shopping is selling Father’s Day items, and International Children’s Day pieces, which include a paper crown that is oh so cute!

How has this impacted my own personal style, though? Well, it has brought me back to the mindset of creating a full look. Working from home or working in professional painting at jobsites for most of my adult life has killed the style I used to have. I no longer felt the need to put together a look, but instead I got used to throwing on pieces and wearing things for function, not fashion. But that’s not who I really am, just what the environment of life drifted me into. I was missing intentionality, Animal Crossing lit that spark once again. My little character doesn’t just get dressed to do life; she wears a head-to-toe look with hats, bags, glasses, specialty socks, clever shoes, cute tools, and interestingly paired garments. This game got me out of jeans and a t-shirt, or a hoodie and leggings, because this game has trousers in many fabrics and shapes, shorts in colorful prints, skirts in a bouquet of fancy, coats, hats a plenty, tops that span the seasons – it’s a blast to explore! There are dresses – modern and traditional. I can where a kimono! I change her outfit at least once, maybe three times a session. You can also curate hairstyles and experiment with colors.

This exercise has shown me that pink hair is something I’d like to try. It’s my most-used fashion color. It has inspired me to introduce cute socks of varying heights and weights to my wardrobe, even making some of them. I’ve started wearing hats anytime I leave the house – it pulls the look together! My taste in bags has changed; no longer an option for a sleek purse that looks designer, instead give me a duck bag with feet. I love colorful knitwear, flowing skirts, and shoes that are beyond my comfort zone of boots and Converse. Taking those moments in the game to pair weird combinations together has positively impacted my design sensibility. When I plan a sewing or knitting project, I take into account what I’ve learned from dressing up my character, seeking to inject the whimsy and delightful wares of Animal Crossing into my real-life closet. I’m not the only one; I’ve seen this across Pinterest, YouTube, and Instagram.

But what about interior design? Well, this game not only presents the opportunity to design your house and the island, but you can also download Happy Home Paradise to design vacation homes for clients. This has really challenged me in a fun sandbox way to care about how a room is put together. I’ve become far more intentional about my furniture layout, what types of pieces I want to bring into my space, and how I want to pair pieces for a style that tells a story.

Buying a house last year was the icing on the cake of this new foray into design, as we have painted rooms and dug the garden beds, I’ve felt like it is Animal Crossing come to life. I have this canvas to put my stamp on. Moving from rented landlord-beige homes to a space where we can be colorful, it has shown me that the little details do make a space more welcoming and conducive for creating. The simple act of moving our dining room table from one side of the room to the center, allowing for walkways on either side, has made the room a place I want to be instead of a place I pass through. By filling the empty gaps of cabinets in our kitchen with tables, shelves, and a microwave stand, we have transformed the empty space into a room that feels complete. The simple change of painting my sewing room lavender created an entire mood, a calming and happy vibe that makes me excited to work within those four walls. The garden beds and the screened-in porch have been works of dimension, the outdoor space has useful and designated spaces for us to use that make it more beautiful and purposeful.

I am filled with a sense of possibility again, like the girl who sketched those rooms in a notebook, instead of a person muddling through life. In this time when we feel burned out by AI and stale creativity, it’s been electric to feel the sparks of imagination. The crafting aspect of the game has inspired me to be more creative in my own house. We repurpose, re-finish, and build things in our house from scratch. Because of life’s twists and turns, I have a lot of second-hand pieces that at first felt like a let down, like I was poor, but now I see them as incredibly meaningful items that I have the pleasure of caring for in my home. The game’s customization tools, such as kits for sale or the custom services of Cyrus, demonstrate how a coat of paint truly pulls a room together without buying something new.

Did I think when I purchased Animal Crossing New Horizons that I would see an impact on my own design sensibility? Not at all, but it has been the gift that keeps on giving. It’s an incredibly cozy game, full of wonder that I have grown fond of, year over year. Four years later, I still look forward to running around the island, hunting for recipes, wishing on shooting stars, and besting those pesky Happy Home Academy judges. I hope that I never lose my zeal for dress up and design because it is such a fun little way to relax in this wild and wacky world.

Individuals Without Individuality

What does it mean to be an individual? Are you a person? A sum among parts? An island? A unique person, maybe? What does it mean to do things individually? What does individuality mean to an individual? I really wish this word, and its forms, weren’t so tricky to spell with my slightly dyslexic mind (not formally diagnosed, but it runs in the family). It’s a lot to digest, but this has probably been stewing in my mind for the past year, waiting for me to plate it up.

My culture is incredibly individualistic, and this is expressed in good ways and bad. One good way is that my country is a land of immigrants and indigenous people, meaning there are voices, ideas, and ways of doing things. But when there are people, there are forces of wanting to fit in, wanting to control and suppress, and prescribed ideas of the “best” way. I think this has been at the forefront of my mind because I see a vast amount of content being shared online saying originality is dead, or personal style has been killed by the algorithm. We are all core-ified or aesthetically boxed in, and social media has commodified subcultures. But it’s the internet, critiquing the internet, so we’re of course using broad, and extreme brushstrokes here.

Where my mind has drifted to is the sameness. I see people online discussing the boringness of everything from movies to the same cosmetic procedures, the bland landscape of interior design, and starter pack cliches for “types” of women. There is a sea of Petite Knit patterns, a galaxy of Marvel media that repeat the same formula, reboot television, and romantic tropes pushed by publishers and BookTok to make everything fit nicely in the digital marketing ecosystem. Then we fall into nostalgia, like recession pop, which I found myself listening to the other day, reminiscing about my first summer as a member of Geneva’s painting crew in 2010. Thinking about how different life was before I even had a Facebook.

What we talked about and the memories I made with the women and men of my team were tangible, not digital. We discovered what we liked based on environmental forces, like books assigned in school, books suggested by a friend, etc. Music was discovered and shared by radio play, recommendations from others, and shared playlists that your friend curated, not the music streaming platform or the algorithm. I thought a bit less about my appearance, I mean, in adolescence, you are quite aware, but not as much as the smartphone era has brought attention to the physical image of ourselves. I had fewer pictures, grainier pictures, but more memories. Strong memories are tied to tangible things, like songs, food, books, buildings, and movies. We were all very different from each other, yet we could find commonality, and this is where the gears in my mind started turning.

We were part of a group, but had individuality. Yet, nowadays I feel more like I’m in a void, of no commonality, except for how everyone is into the same things, and wears the same clothes, yet we are not connected, communicating, nor would I even consider that despite our shared things we are on a team or part of a community. It’s hollow.

I think we are missing the point of life. We are not working towards something together. We are not part of communities. We are part of aesthetics. We have become fans not of art or sport but of corporations like Target, Lululemon, Sephora, Stanley, and Tesla. Well, probably not Tesla anymore. Target is also being boycotted, so…anyways. Apple, Alo, Rhode, Kate Spade, Trader Joe’s, Labubu. That’s more 2025, phew. Why are we stanning companies? Why are we considering shopping for a hobby? This is not a way to connect; it is a way to consume and drown in stuff instead of substance. Our roots are becoming so shallow, and our debt is vast; we are plants choked out by the weeds of hyper-individualism. We have let originality become a thing achieved not by character formation and real-life community, but by the path of purchase. Purchases for ourselves. It snuck in so fast, I didn’t realize how the art of gift giving has become a self-care checklist. Yikes! It wasn’t until playing Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing: New Horizons that I was struck by how topsy-turvy my own culture has become. Our priorities are whack, and I believe it has made us lonely, shells, devoid of individual thought, buying our way to “happiness” because all we think about is our individual needs above all. We have forgotten that humans are fulfilled by the relationships and communities we are rooted in. It’s time to break the spell.

My Spring 2025 Soundtrack

Turning grass into unearthed soil – The Tiller

Chirping – Robins

Battleground – Stray Kids

K.K. Oasis

A cut hitting rock – The Shovel

A trickle of water – The Rain Barrel

Staple Jam – The Upholstery Stapler

Cutting Fiberglass Screen – Utility Knife

Slingshot – Nmixx

Glug Glug – Watering Can

Coughing – Garden Tone

Disgust and Fear – The Big Earthworm

K.K. Adventure

My Place

Stalling on Tall Grass – The Mower

Booms that Shake My House – Tannerite from Reckless Community Members

Ice Cream Cake – Red Velvet

Cinema – Lee Know & Seungmin

Humming and Cool Air – The Window A/C

Shock and Gasp – Acid Reflux in the Middle of the Night

Great British Bake Off Theme

Know About Me – Nmixx

Buzzing of Bees

Mia Pulling on the Carpet – Bunny Teeth

Frustration, Fear, and Worry – Trump’s Non Stop Executive Orders

Autism Awareness Content – Fighting The RFK Jr Ignorance

Unmasking is Hard

The term “unmasking” was new to me when I first learned of my neurodivergence. I saw it on Pinterest and Instagram, displayed in captions and little relatable memes, but what did it mean?

I felt the full experience of what it means a few nights ago when I was invaded once again by rising anxiety, flooding through my mind, and this pressure, invisible yet firm, closing in on me. I knew deep down that I was close to having a meltdown, from environmental things that a neurotypical would brush off. I also knew that I couldn’t melt down; it wasn’t safe to be me. I couldn’t stim, that would be looked down upon with pity. I had to put on that mask, the normal-brained facade I’ve studied my whole life to become invisible and just blend into the sea of normies.

I feel this pressure to mask the most when I am interacting with my family. My mom and her side, for a brief time, my dad and his side. It’s a quagmire, being the offspring of two very domineering, neurotypical, narcissistic humans.

It’s a lot of work. Why am I sharing this? Because if you feel this way, you are not alone. I see you. I support you. I am rallying for you and I to make it through these moments holding space for us to be as we are, and to feel like we are enough. We don’t need to be fixed, we need to cope with this wild world that doesn’t understand us.

Like an ill-fitting garment, the clothes are the problem not your body. Your brain is not the problem, the world favors one way of doing things and that doesn’t make it right. Being louder doesn’t make your point more correct. There is nothing wrong with who you are and who you were created to be.

I hope wherever you are, this finds you well. That you are safe, loved, valued, and being kind to yourself. The world needs more kindness. Know that I love you and support you. Take the mask off, breathe, stim, and find peace.

Until next time ❤

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