Matthew 27 & Isaiah 25

This post is a little late, Resurrection Sunday was over two weeks ago, but hey, at least I made it before Pentecost so that’s a win right? Anyways, this year as we went into the week of remembrance of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Silent Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday my Bible reading coincided with a study of Isaiah.

If you’re unfamiliar with the book of Isaiah, it is a book from the Old Testament that contains prophecies about the coming Messiah, Jesus. During Jesus’ life and ministry, Isaiah is quoted 21 times, and referenced throughout the New Testament a total of 85 times. It is an important text! This is my second proper study of Isaiah, my first being when I read through the entire Bible, this time around I have been taking it slow, and meditating on the text. Letting the significance of the words steep in my mind.

Since watching The Chosen, the gospels have come alive. Dallas Jenkins and Angel Studios’ intentionality to portray scripture, adhering to the text and historical details bring the story to life. The Chosen has challenged me to approach my Bible studies not as just a familiar thing I do. With the text being known well so I tend to go into auto-pilot mode, which is a blessing to know scripture but as we know it can be a barrier to learning.

If you are wondering why I am not calling it Easter, Easter originates from a pagan fertility festival that was co-opted by the Catholic Church to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus by the Council of Nicea in 325 AD. In North America, I find it to be a weird holiday. I’ve celebrated Easter Sunday before with family that staunchly refuses to acknowledge Jesus and that gave me a different perspective on Easter. Now I do recognize the connection to Passover, and would much rather celebrate Passover leading into Resurrection Sunday, than a bunch of Spring symbols and bunnies, although I do love bunnies. But they are a distraction and this year, I desired as little distractions as possible.

The Chosen has challenged me to remember this is a real story, to understand that Jesus my redeemer and friend, sacrificed himself not just for me but for the whole world. It is the most incredible event in human history and for too long I have not recognized that. I have been distracted by North American culture downplaying it whether that is in the church or the spectacle that is the bombardment of advertising campaigns to make me dwell on Reese’s Eggs instead of death being defeated.

First and foremost the Bible is an account of real people and the work of the Almighty God who is still working now, so when it happened to be that I was reading Isaiah 25 on Good Friday, the same day I planned to re-read Matthew 27 to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, there was this incredible sense of purpose between this pairing that excited me because I knew it wasn’t fate, it was an opportunity for God to teach me more. And He did indeed. If you look at the text below in Isaiah 25: 7-9 you can see a key moment prophecies that would come to be in Matthew 27:45-54.

And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples,
    the veil that is spread over all nations.  He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
    for the Lord has spoken.It will be said on that day,
    Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
    This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
    let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.
Isaiah 25:7-9

Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.”And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.”

And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised,and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”
Matthew 27: 45-54

The hope of death being swallowed up so the veil, or symbolic barrier in the Holy of Holies (in the Temple and Tabernacle) would no longer be needed. The veil or curtain marking the entrance to the Holy of Holies kept God’s presence separate from the people because of sin. God is righteous and just, because of this our sin separates us from the intimacy Adam and Eve had in the garden when they walked with God. But God desired this intimacy with us again, and we desire it too, and so through Jesus’ sacrifice for the sins of the world (past, present, and future) on the cross provided the ultimate sin offering to move us from the Old Covenant of the Law of Moses to the New Covenant in Christ Jesus where the curtain is no longer needed.

How cool is that?! And God planned this from the beginning. Isaiah spoke of this coming redemption before the exile even happened. From the beginning of the story in Genesis 3, God was already referencing the coming redemption:

I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.
Genesis 3:15 ESV

This Good Friday, I felt a deeper sense of sorrow than ever before reading the account of Jesus’ death. In the past year, I have desired to know Him, and have Him be my confidant, my friend. Because of The Chosen, as I have mentioned before, I can’t wait to see Jesus in person. I can’t wait to hug Him. With this great sorrow, there has been an even greater joy in knowing that even the idea of spending time with Jesus in Heaven is because of the sorrow. His death was necessary to swallow up death forever and resurrection was necessary to be able to rejoice in the salvation of our Redeemer. All in all, I have found more excitement in this season than I have before because I know how much it means. Thank you, Jesus!

April 27, 2023

#11 – The Battle

When I began drawing close to the Lord and leaning on Him, I knew it would be a journey of hills and valleys. The highs have been transformative, and life-giving. I did not expect how much spiritual warfare would affect my day-to-day life! This battle feels endless some days.

I’m not sure if it was naivety or purely immaturity but growing up I thought only “important” people experienced this like heroes of faith in the Bible or spiritual leaders in the modern day, I missed the point that just like the Bible was created for everyone, the stumbling blocks that try to steal our peace affect everyone. Looking at it objectively it makes sense if spiritual warfare literally fights against us growing the Kingdom of God, and we as believers are all members of it, it would affect us all. Sometimes I feel like the church in North America doesn’t address this enough. We get bogged down in the good things, the prosperity, and an inflated sense that things will go right in our lives because “God is on our side, who can be against us” you know the message. It wasn’t until I dug deeper into conversations with my fellow sisters in Christ that I realized no, this is not the case, we are all in a constant battle against discouragement.

One of my friends has lived outside North America most of her life where she experienced a much different kind of spiritual warfare in places where the air felt heavy with darkness. The battle was evident and was at the forefront of their minds and it grew perseverance, most importantly awareness that it is happening! Even though it is invisible to the eye, we need to be awake and alive in Christ. Not complacent. She brought to my attention the importance of prayer – praying over your house, praying over your co-workers, your relationships, etc. We need that lifeline to the Lord to fight the battle for us. I heard so often at school and at home – put on the full armor of God! To not face down scary things without first stopping to put on the full armor of God. But what does this mean? I was so puzzled by this.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)

My grandparents recited this scripture to me when I was feeling discouraged or scared of things, I would listen and yet didn’t get what they were telling me. To be honest, I’m not sure I understood the importance of armor until watching Star Wars. In my mind, the armor seemed like a great way to carry a weight on me and be weighed down by the protection, which is funny because I must have thought a lot of my own strength because my approach sounds like I believe I am so powerful I could go into battle like a Jedi. I am not a Jedi, I’m a battle droid. “Roger. Roger. Stand down- oh no I’m *crash, bang, splat*. ” I love those guys, but they are not capable.

Mando is capable, and so are Boba and Jango Fett. They have weapons, helmets, spaceships, and even jet packs to get them out of trouble. Most importantly they know how to use all the resources in front of them and have practiced their use so that they know how to fight against any enemy. Yet, Mando and Boba Fett are not the same capable warriors without their armor, just like we are not capable nor prepared for the ongoing battle if we do not seek God’s armor. Still, what does the spiritual armor look like in practice?

In my experience, I feel the armor of God on me when I prepare with a few key things. I am well-versed in God’s promises. I don’t even need a song to remind me of what I already know and when I feel challenged by the enemy the promise immediately comes to mind that defeats whatever lies the enemy is trying to sell. I am spending consistent time in God’s word so that I am familiar with how this story ends, the enemy is already defeated and when I forget that, that is when he has power. But when I remember and hold fast to the fact that Jesus died and rose again so that death was defeated and my sins were forgiven, I cannot be bullied by the shame of my past mistakes and cannot be convinced that God does not care. He does care about us, more than anyone on earth possibly can because He is God and no one else is more powerful than Him. I am also well-steeped in worship music so much so that it is the soundtrack of my day. With hope filling my ears, and promises in my heart I am almost there. I am abiding in the Spirit who is guiding my heart and mind from dwelling on things that are not honoring to God, I am working to combat my sinful nature to reflect God’s character in the world instead of my own. I am spending time in prayer consulting God and not the world. I am also confiding my struggles with fellow believers, true friends who can encourage me and pray for me when I am struggling.

Most importantly, I remember that under the helmet there is just a human being underneath the armor. Just like Mando, is just a man. That I am not my own strength, God is. Because I cannot do things on my own, I must remain humble and dependent on God.

March 27, 2023

Reading the Bible With God

My Bible reading plan for 2023 began without a clear direction. I read through the entire Bible for the first time in 2020-2021 and got into a slump in 2022 where I read the Bible here and there until the end of the year. In December 2022, I read through the book of Hebrews at a good pace and decided this was more than just a “me” thing. I needed direction, so I prayed and asked the Lord to show me where to begin in 2023. I received an answer: “get acquainted with the parts of my Word you don’t know as well.” So I replied, “Yes Lord, please lead me. I want to know You more.”

In January of 2023, the first sermon of the month kicked off with a bang – a three-month series on the names of the Holy Spirit! In my heart, I felt this stirring of excitement, this was exactly what I needed. The direction was clear, learn to abide with the Spirit. I began reading in Ezra, next Nehemiah, Micah, and Obediah and now I’m currently in Isaiah. Why? I don’t know other than I’ve felt God leading me to these passages, and oh boy am I learning there is so much more in these passages than history! The pages are filled with details that show God’s plan, His glory, and the hope we have for the future. It’s been invigorating!

I’ve never felt this way while reading the Bible, when I read through the Bible it was a struggle and to be honest some days a grind because I wasn’t tuned into the right frequency, to be honest. When I began my reading I just jumped in and got it done like a workout. Sometimes I took notes dissecting the passage like a piece of literature instead of having ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’ as Jesus said. I would get frustrated that I didn’t understand the point of whole books, and I got bogged down in the details like I was researching a historical thesis. I remember many conversations with my Grandma where she would share what the Lord was teaching her in her Bible reading and describe the experience like she was literally doing a Bible study with Jesus. There was companionship in her quiet time with the Lord, like the ideal model of Adam and Eve in the garden or how David had such deep companionship with God when he was being chased by King Saul. I remember listening and wondering why I didn’t have such a deep connection to God in my Bible reading.

In true human fashion, I thought of every excuse before I got to the root of what was different. Without her here, I craved that deep connection that she had but was slow to take the plunge to go deeper. Something changed while watching The Chosen, I no longer wanted to be an observer to my fellow believers that had a close relationship with their Heavenly Father, I wanted to be an active family member and honestly hang out with Jesus like the disciples did. The Chosen does such a good job of showing Jesus as a tangible person, and ever since watching I just want to be hugged by Jesus.

Anyways, since I decided to abide with the Spirit in 2023, I began to ask the Holy Spirit to show me what He wanted to teach me in the passage I was studying before I began reading. If my mind begins to wander, as it does quite often, I immediately ask God to help me focus on Him, and Him alone. I have experienced tremendous growth in my own faith and my heart since doing this! The Bible has come alive before my eyes and I am seeing each passage deeper, with each chapter I read, I feel a connection that helps me understand why this chapter matters more than what is on the surface. I’ve been amazed by how the Bible’s story is being woven together in my mind as the Holy Spirit reveals more and more. I don’t want to ever go back to how I was studying before! This way fills my heart with joy and renews my strength, just like how Grandma used to describe it!

The coolest thing happened on Friday when I was reading Isaiah 1 & 2, I had finished Obediah the day before, reading Micah directly before that, and earlier in the day I had asked God where He wanted to take me next in the Bible. I had felt a leaning towards Isaiah for a few weeks but didn’t feel ready, so I had read Micah and so forth. But that day I felt ready to dive in, a verse of the day had been in Isaiah 55 – the book was on my mind. So I prayed for God to teach me what He wanted me to learn from the passage and dove into Isaiah 1 & 2. This is where I got goosebumps.

In Isaiah 2, the title says The Mountain of the Lord just like it does in Micah 4! But this is where the similarities begin, it gets more interesting. The passages mirror each other with the promises of what God has for us at the cosmic Mountain. There is a promise of revival, peace, and joy. Without going to the Lord first, and asking for His guidance to lead me through my Bible reading and reveal what He wanted me to learn, I wouldn’t have seen the repetition of this promise. The significance would have been lost on me. Within that moment I felt this incredible sense of God’s presence, that He tailormade this moment for me to understand Him deeper. It felt like it was just me and God in the room and the world was put on mute.

If you are craving intimacy with God, don’t wait another minute. Go to Him today so that we can rejoice together dear reader. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share in this joy with me today. May you go in peace today through whatever is before you. God loves you, and I do too.

The word that Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem.
It shall come to pass in the latter days
    that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be lifted up above the hills;
and all the nations shall flow to it,
and many peoples shall come, and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between the nations,
    and shall decide disputes for many peoples;
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war anymore.
O house of Jacob,
    come, let us walk
    in the light of the Lord.
Isaiah 2:1-5

It shall come to pass in the latter days
    that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and it shall be lifted up above the hills;
and peoples shall flow to it,
and many nations shall come, and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between many peoples,
    and shall decide disputes for strong nations far away;
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war anymore;
but they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree,
    and no one shall make them afraid,
    for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.
For all the peoples walk
    each in the name of its god,
but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God
    forever and ever.
Micah 4: 1-5

March 20, 2023

Micah 4

Before we begin, I am not a Biblical scholar. I am a girl, who loves the Lord and feels led to keep a journal of what I learned on my second read-through of the Bible as a believer with a deeper faith than my initial read-through in 2020-2021. The Lord brought this to my attention through my study of the book of Micah. Thank you reader for coming along on this journey with me. May we grow deeper in our faith together!

Cosmic Mountain

In my ESV Bible, this chapter is titled the Mountain of the Lord which struck a chord in my memory of a certain series of conversations between Tim Mackie and Jon Collins on the Bible Project Podcast. A conversation on the cosmic mountain! The cosmic mountain aka the garden of Eden is a metaphor that we see throughout the Bible with the exile from the garden aka the cosmic mountain, the tower of Babel, the temple, Mount Sinai where Moses goes to receive the law on a mountain, Mount Zion, and even Jesus’ transfiguration took place on a mountain. I’m getting ahead of myself so what are these moments and what cosmic mountain am I referencing from the Bible Project series? It’s complicated, and I was pretty thrown off when I first heard this metaphor too but here is a summary of what I understand from their research.

In Genesis 1&2 Eden is depicted as a cosmic mountain which is a historical reference to how other ancient religions viewed their gods
The Tower of Babel was man’s attempt to build a mountain without God, therefore challenging the created order and trying to make themselves gods which became the city of Babylon.
The Tabernacle and Temple are symbols of the cosmic mountain where God comes to dwell with us, the Holy of Holies.
Moses goes up to Mount Sinai to talk to God and receive the law covenant, the Ten Commandments. He spent many days with God like Adam and Eve did in the garden.
Mount Zion referred to the city of the Great King (Psalm 48:2)
When Jesus’ transfiguration took place, the pivotal moment when God’s glory shone upon his face, this happened upon a mountain

As I read through this passage in Micah, images came to mind of the Asbury Revival, the Lee University revival, and revivals going on around the world globally. This image of how there has been an outpouring to be in God’s presence, in a multitude, and worship our King. It made me think of the story behind the Jesus Revolution movie, how we as humans crave that connection with our creator and desire to worship Him, serve Him and come together as the body of Christ to work for His glory. Chapter Four describes a time when the mountain of the house of the Lord will be established (Micah 4:1) and people shall flow to it.

It shall come to pass in the latter days
    that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and it shall be lifted up above the hills;
and peoples shall flow to it,
   and many nations shall come, and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between many peoples,
    and shall decide disputes for strong nations far away;
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war anymore;
but they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree,
    and no one shall make them afraid,
    for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.
For all the peoples walk
    each in the name of its god,
but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God
    forever and ever.
Micah 4:1-5

Thinking about the division in the world and how draining modern life has become, the thought of this future of peaceful existence is just so calming and encouraging. There is a passage in verse three that describes weapons being reshaped into farming tools and I thought about ongoing wars in our present world. The war in Ukraine is a foil to this picture, evil making farmland into a battlefield. How wonderful it will be when the battle ceases to exist because evil will lose!

I even thought about Jin and the other BTS members enlisting for their mandatory service, and if ARMY is so sad because when it comes down to the thought of war, it is unnatural. But music, dancing, and creativity are natural, God-given talents that we were given because we are created in God’s image, and when I think of the mountain of the Lord and the city of Zion, I hear music. I imagine the voices of many nations singing together like those revivals. I think we crave the idyllic, cottage core, beauty, the spectacle of those K-pop music videos because we are not created for the chaos of this world, we crave the order and the peace of the redeemed world in communion with God in the garden. Even if we don’t realize it, I believe we are most content when we are using the talents God has given us to glorify Him, thinking about this I crave the cosmic mountain and look forward to sitting under the trees with the peace spoken of in Micah 4.

March 15, 2023

Ezra 1-3

Before we begin, I am not a Biblical scholar. I am a girl, who loves the Lord and feels led to keep a journal of what I learned on my second read-through of the Bible as a believer with a deeper faith than my initial read-through in 2020-2021. The Lord brought this to my attention through my study of the book of Ezra. Thank you reader for coming along on this journey with me. May we grow deeper in our faith together!

Chapter One

In the proclamation of Cyrus, here’s what jumped out to me. God’s power and planning. In the case of Cyrus’ proclamation, it demonstrated to me how God uses unlikely structures, governments, earthly powers, etc that are created by man to keep the general population oppressed, and God turns them on their head. God has the authority over everything and He can use whatever means He chooses to do His will and serve His people. With the fear being instilled in the world by the news, it was like a breath of fresh air to remember, in a moment all these things that feel like they have power over us can change their purpose if that is what God wills.

By Cyrus’ proclamation, the captor rolls out the red carpet for their prisoner and furnishes the prisoners with all they need on the captor’s dime. Can you imagine seeing that happen firsthand? God’s power and authority are awe-inspiring. In doing this, Cyrus explicitly names the reason behind his decree. He proclaims who God is, what God has given him, and how God will be glorified through this. It’s hard to imagine our current world leaders doing this, but what a sight it would be!

Thinking about it in a present context, Cyrus’ proclamation reminds me that whatever the current world governments, billionaires, tech conglomerates, censorship leaders, or AI algorithms claim they own, they really don’t. God owns all of it, and ultimately He controls it. It can all pass away if He says so. Their entire purpose can be shifted to fit His plan if God says so. The song “Graves to Gardens” by Elevation Worship came to mind as I was pondering this.

Now for some quick takeaways:

The Persians financed rebuilding what the Babylonians destroyed.
Babylon had already passed away, from being a world superpower to a defeated empire taken over by the Persians.
God makes this happen quickly. His timing is higher than ours.
The items carried out of the temple are returned to Jerusalem with the exiles.
Exiles get a free plane ticket home, but not a cheap seat either.
I’ve seen this in my own life and the lives of loved ones. It is something to behold when you experience it.

Chapter Two

To be honest, these genealogy chapters are a struggle for me, but God pointed out something pretty neat when I was reading. The captives return properly. What do I mean by that? They aren’t just brought back to Judah, it says explicitly that they return to their town. They were not dropped off in the middle of nowhere to figure it out, no they went back to their home country, state, town, and street. It was a full return of order from the chaos.

I spent time taking notes to add up how many people were listed, 49, 797. How many animals (aka transport)? 8, 136. This was a big spectacle! It was a moment to pay attention to with a large group of people arriving together, with transport, items for the temple, money to rebuild the temple, etc. God was being glorified by the act of their return, furnished by the Persian empire. To the outside observer, this would be out of the normal day-to-day and we see the not-so-welcoming reaction from these observers in the following chapters.

Chapter Three

The neighbors are not happy and the exiles are feeling it. What stuck out to me was the two important reasons for the Israelites to rebuild the altar – reaffirming the law, aka the structure of their world, and drawing closer to God when their fears reappeared. It is a lesson I need because I still continue to procrastinate in scary situations, instead of running to God immediately.

God provided them in their time of uncertainty with structure and familiarity through the law handed down from Moses. They celebrated the Festival of Booths, representing the exodus and deliverance from Egypt. Just like their ancestors, they would make it through this by drawing near to God and seeking his wise counsel. They atoned for their sins with offerings, getting right with God in the same way we do in the New Covenant through confession thanks to salvation in Jesus.

After taking these necessary steps of discipleship, then they are prepared to do God’s work, in this case rebuilding the temple. They are also prepared for what is to come when it gets harder. I know I get excited and want to skip steps when it comes to following Jesus, those tough faith-building moments are not what I want but what I need to be prepared for the next task. Sometimes, I feel impatient and want an immediate answer instead of taking days, weeks, or months to pray for God’s direction but it prepares me through practice because it teaches me to depend on Him.

March 7, 2023

#2 – Missing

I think the hardest part of the grieving process for me has been settling into life without the ones I love. I knew that it would feel strange continuing life without my grandparents because they were my real parents and that is a big space to fill once those nurturing figures are no longer here to support you. I think about them often. Like today, when the sun shines brightly through my window with a strength that warms my skin as I sit at my sewing table. The warmth of love is one of those tangible things that death strips of this world.

It’s not all bad, the warmth of the sunshine reminds me of those core memories. Moments I may not recall without the prompt of warmth and light, like sitting upstairs in the loft where the big windows of their living room washed the house in beaming brightness. On days like this grandma would hang the laundry outside on two long rows. From my swingset, I saw the sheets dance in the billowing breeze of a warm summer day. But if I hold on to the feeling of the sun on my skin, my mind walks deeper into the library of memories zig-zagging my brain, and selects a deeper track.

Summer morning. Sunshine. Walking around the park, me riding a bike flanked by my cousins while my grandparents discussed the history, the beauty of the sights, the sounds of the birds. Warm. Cozy. Sitting in the loft on a wintery sunny day after baking 10 tea-ring pastries (a big ring of cinnamon rolls that remain uncut to resemble a wreath) with my grandparents sitting beside me on the couch. We share a round of Hershey nuggets most likely for our hard work. Especially Papa who watched us bake from the counter, sitting on a high stool, there for the conversation and the atmosphere.

In the small moments of my day, three years later, I still think of them and I wonder if that will ever change. It no longer makes me tear up, which I like. I don’t enjoy crying. The missing is here to stay. It’s like the longing we feel for heaven and closeness with our Savior. The world is missing something, but the reminders of unconditional love evoked by the warmth of sunlight on my skin pulls me out of whatever task I am working on for a quiet moment of reflection. I reflect on the blessings I have experienced from the love I received here on earth and rejoice that it is not the end. I remember that I am not alone, because the Spirit lives in me and is filling me with love from my Creator.

“But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
    let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
    that all who love your name may be filled with joy
For you bless the godly, O Lord;
    you surround them with your shield of love.”
Psalm 5:11-12, NLT

March 1, 2023