Bring the Fall

I have been a bit lax with my writing lately, but I’m feeling inspired. The chill returns to the sunny blue sky, orange steeps upon the leaves, and the need to stay warm welcomes me back with open arms. I love fall. I love sweaters, flannel, corduroy, and denim. Getting dressed when the weather is crisp.

These are my favorite outfits, I’ve worn recently, using pieces I have sewn, thrifted, or upcycled. The only piece I bought new is the overalls, because I failed to make my own.

I’ve been getting into whimsy-goth style, like Practical Magic. I’ve been layering with sheer, with knit, and with textures. I’ve been drawn to brighter colors for the darker months. I’m trying to find the joy, before the year ends, and find a better way to end this challenging 2025.

So now that I have sat with my thoughts for months, finding my way out of the woods with my crafts, I am going to get chatty again!

I think what is bringing me the most excitement right now is kpop. Karma has been a wonderland. Chaeyoung of Twice’s solo release was Black Keys perfection. Nmixx new Blue Valentine era is thrilling, Red Velvet-esque, and the most exciting sryling I have seen from a girl group other than Twice in 2025. Taeyong is coming back from the military in December and I am beyond ready for punchy NCT to be back. It’s been 18 months of change and sadness since he left, we need the NEO king back. I’m also impatiently waiting for fellow NCT’s Yuta to release his full album at the end of October.

In other things, Mia is doing well and we are so bonded. It’s everything I hoped for! I’m excited for Saskie & Co’s second book to be released – Saskie Knits. I’d like to get my hands on both of her books. The Great British Bakeoff is back, and that has made for a lovely few weeks. I’m learning new crochet stitches, such as the waffle stitch and granny stitch. I can identify single crochet, half-double crochet, double crochet, and treble crochet stitches. I have also mastered using my yarn swift and ball winder!

I am faltering on my language learning, with a steep decline in practice sessions since June. But I have begun to hear the difference between Korean and Japanese. Even being able to identify a YouTube AI mishap where a kpop song had English subtitles with kanji appearing instead of hangul. By reading the Japanese, I concluded they did not match. I can also tell the difference in speech patterns between Korean and Japanese, identifying key grammar structures. So, I guess, if nothing else happens this year with my language learning, it is marinating up there and I am retaining it.

There have been some really trying personal things going on behind the scenes, that although I probably share too much on here, I can’t discuss. But I can say I have never felt more like I have been drowning than this year. As we head into fall though, I think the source of the stress is healing and I am grateful to be moving towards peace.

My last bit of good news is that I got a rebounder! Also known as a miniature trampoline for cardio. It is a blast. I can’t wait to get healthier and hold less tension in my body.

What exciting things are on your horizon?

24 Month Japanese Update

To be a good student, one must show up to class. This was my downfall in 2024. To be fair moving and buying a house literally blew up all my goals, but so did my intention to grow my Instagram. With these distractions, Japanese was not my priority for three-quarters of 2024, and I’m ashamed to say 2024 was a wash for progress.

But there was one bright spot in the year, I found a new learning app for Japanese called renshuu. With renshuu, I was able to dive into learning Japanese syntax and begin learning how to think in Japanese. It helped me see phrases and sentence structure so when I was watching videos with Japanese subtitles or listening to Japanese spoken or sung, my mind was primed to notice the familiar building blocks.

Another feature I liked about renshuu was its user-friendliness. The renshuu app developers seemed to care about learning, ahem, compared to the green owl, my learning nemesis named Duo. renshuu has Kao which looks like a mochi-based character which is our language learning guide.

Like I believe I mentioned before, I spent the fall watching Haikyuu for language immersion and a little Nana. In addition, Stray Kids’ Giant album was a Japanese release so I have been listening to music in Japanese too. The songs ‘Falling Up’ and ‘Night’ I played on repeat after their release with the new season of anime, Tower of God. I’m hoping I learned more passively than I believe. It’s hard not to feel discouraged by my lack of focus. I like excelling at things, but I can’t excel if I don’t try. My focus for my language learning in 2025 is simply to do it, no more excuses.

Are you learning a language? How do you stay focused? I wish you well on your language-learning journey, be a better student than me! Until next time, thanks for hanging out with me today. You reader, keep me accountable to keep learning Japanese.

I Tried Watching Nana

Aside from Haikyuu and One Piece, Nana was the most recommended Anime I have watched. It was mainly recommended in fashion discourse in the TikTok fashion sphere and on YouTube for its spin on street style, punk, 90s fashion, and accessorizing with elaborate detail.

These fans praise creator Ai Yazawa’s Nana for its Vivienne Westwood references and innovative looks. As I expected, the fashion was inspiring. It captures the 90s and early 2000s Japanese fashion in a way that makes my heart warm because that’s how I first got into fashion—watching ANTM’s Cycle 3 and their finale trip to Tokyo. But there was one hiccup—I can’t get into the story.

Nana is a Work of Art

Now before Nana stans click out, I can explain why I am not a fan but can appreciate the artistic duality of the storytelling, while critiquing the worldview of the narrative.

I’ve previously mentioned that I’m not an anime fan, that I had watched Fruits Basket and some Trigun and it was enjoyable but did not grip me the same way a Kdrama can. Since then I have started watching Haikyuu and fell in love with the anime style and its storytelling in Haikyuu’s seasons. Going into Nana, I was excited to watch a new anime style. The artwork is different, older, and grittier like a film noir.

The storytelling was unique, and non-linear at the beginning, and featured two storylines of Nana O. and Nana K, a duality that Ai Yazawa put a lot of thought into. Her passion is clear from the art style, the complicated characters, and the darkness of human life that she explores. I appreciate the inner monologues of the characters, and the way that they feel real because they are flawed, and downright annoying sometimes, but I couldn’t find myself rooting for any character and walked away from the series after two attempts to watch through.

Struggles with the Story

Misogyny and the age of consent, are two things I was not expecting to be major storylines in this tale but there it was. It was hard to watch the disrespect and absolutely dangerous decision-making of Nana K in 2024 as an American with some of the headlines we have had of assault on college campuses and by powerful people in the culture. Me Too changed things and made this normality of the 1990s and 2000s a thing that was no longer going to be passively tolerated. For that, I am thankful to be living on this side of the 2010s and its cultural upheaval because when I encounter stories where the female characters are not being respected and accepting this toxic masculinity and normal, as the viewer it is outrageous.

My standard is now the ladies of Brooklyn Nine-Nine who demand respect and get it because the male characters on the squad are respectful. The characters of Gina Linetti, Rosa Diaz, and Amy Santiago have ambition, and desire love, but understand they are enough and don’t need guys to make them whole. I didn’t see that in my watch of the Nana show. They also support each other with maturity, and Nana K is simply not mature and despite Nana O’s heart, it can’t make up for the deficit, in my opinion. I know that their friendship is hailed for its feminism but I think the best friendships in storytelling have two mature people who have grown and developed into characters that have depth and true, selfless love for each other.

This show felt triggering for its realistic depiction of toxic relationships in both friendships and romantic relationships, which dug up memories from my teens and twenties of feeling lonely by the cloud of darkness bad relationships held me in. Like Skins UK, I could feel the pain, the emptiness, and the struggle in my veins by how emotionally charged the story is. But as Effie can send me into a depressed spiral, I felt the same from Nana. Art should make you feel, but not harm efforts to have good mental health, so as I made the decision to stop to protect my peace, I encourage you to have healthy boundaries with shows that can trigger you, dear reader. It doesn’t mean you are a wimp or that the show is bad, just that it isn’t a good fit for you because it is damaging your calm, to quote Jayne Cobb, from Firefly.

Girlhood, Dark Romance, and the Pick Me Girl

Something that may be holding me back from embracing Nana could be my culture and similar western media I have already grown up with which taught me the same lessons through their stories. As I mentioned before I see many parallels between Skins UK and Nana. They are both edgy, the characters are working through their own pain and finding their own solutions like by dulling the pain with alcohol or love. There is the female friendship in Nana like Meredith and Cristina in Grey’s Anatomy and the toxic relationships in Gossip Girl with the complicated friendship of Blair and Serena.

I found Grey’s Anatomy and Gossip Girl during the end of high school and watched both into college, a time that is full of turbulence. Something that Nana nailed, and I think if I had found Nana first it maybe the coming of age guidebook for me that Grey’s Anatomy and Gossip Girl were during those weird years. I think that both Gossip Girl and Grey’s Anatomy have more character arcs for their female protagonists than Nana, with Serena Van Der Woodsen being the only one I’d say didn’t grow much at all. Blair, Meredith, and Cristina all show tremendous growth by the end of their stories. (Yes, I know Grey’s Anatomy carries on but Sandra Oh left the show in 2014 and I personally stopped watching in 2019 so Grey’s has an end to me.)

Meredith Grey grows from a pick-me girl who lets her romantic relationships determine her fate with self-destructive bend to a healthy, open, confident woman who has family that support her emotionally and professionally at Seattle Grace. Cristina Yang realizes she needs people, that life is not about being an island. She balances her professional ambition with a new compassionate bedside manner and learns how to be vulnerable while being an incredibly strong person.

Blair Waldorf begins the show as a girl who is scheming, afraid to be herself, and afraid to fail and ends the show as a confident woman who knows what she wants and is willing to stand up for herself, support others, and create community in her world instead of tearing others down to make herself feel better. She may love Chuck Bass, but she is willing to walk away from him when he treats her as less than human. I wanted to see this from Nana, and I didn’t.

What I did see was a similar dark romance trope that permeates Twilight, toxic relationships that are abusive, not romantic, and not something women need to endure for love. A good cultural discussion that came out of the It Ends With Us press tour was producer, Justin Baldoni’s commitment to the message of abuse and making sure no interview was complete without raising awareness for an evil that persists in our world. It was in stark contrast to Blake Lively’s cheeky glamorization of this movie, refusing to go there and talk about the serious issues.

That’s what I wanted from Nana, there to be some force that would stop the mistreatment of these women and bring some hope to the story for these women to truly thrive.

Letters of Healing – #1

Dear Grandma and Papa,

How are you doing? I know you guys are doing well. You’re together, and you’re not in pain anymore. You guys are not separate and are feeling the healing of that yourself.

It’s been a journey here without you guys. It got a bit scary for a while. Things got weird and frightening, but after four years, things are feeling familiar and more like usual. I didn’t think it could be possible, but I guess deep down I knew it could be, because you both found a new normal after losing your parents. I guess I felt guilty and strange letting my life go on without you for myself. It wasn’t what I wanted and I resisted healing for a season because I was in denial.

I found this composer, a fellow I think you with the proper introduction to his music, would be a person you guys would enjoy. He has the emotion and the beautiful storytelling in his music that I remember you both liking. His name is Joe Hisaishi. He composed the music for several films from a company called Studio Ghibli which I think you would prefer to Disney in this current moment. It took me a while to appreciate Hayao Miyazaki’s storytelling because it was so different from what the Disney formula is. The cultural parts, I think took the longest.

I know Japan was a bit of a mystery to you guys just based on your generation. You grew up with a different version – the Imperial Japan bombing of Pearl Harbor and the War in the Pacific were your first introduction as kids, growing up during WWII. It was a cultural relationship that did not have a chance to bloom.

My generation had a different introduction to their culture – sushi, ramen, Hello Kitty, anime, Studio Ghibli, Ninja Warrior, Harajuku fashion, and Nintendo. It was a different side of Japan. In college a professor you would know, Doyle, hosted a class about East Asian Film and Literature. It was quite the overview for one semester mind you, but in that short time he showed us some pieces of storytelling I still remember like Hero, Red Wall, and Princess Mononoke.

The last one, Princess Mononoke was a Ghibli film, my first one. The illustrations were incredible and the message felt so familar because of the region we all lived in – the rust belt. But what captured my admiration the most was the music. It was stirring, haunting, sad and hopeful, a courageous melody that swept over me in its beauty.

A few years later, Kyle and I watched My Neighbor Totoro which is such a heartwarming tale. This one set me on a new goal – I need to see Japan before I die so I can see those rural vistas captured in the illustrations of Totoro. I started learning Japanese since you’ve gone, which is a story for another time, but this probably sparked that journey.

This image from Totoro makes me think of the times we would go puddle jumping together, Papa, when I was a little kid. You made life so magical, both of you.

Anyways, there’s a song in particular, Grandma, that I think you would love. Actually I think you would love to play. The one recording of it on the album I was listening to has a piano solo by Hisaishi that has the same fervor and candence of the style you played in. I can close my eyes and pretend we’re in your piano room, you’re talking away as your playing it, and the room is filled the sound of the keys. This song is called the Merry-Go-Round of Life from the film Howl’s Moving Castle. (One I still need to watch.)

I wish I could play it for you. I wish I could play all of his songs for you. I wish we could listen to them on the boom box in the kitchen as Papa and I sat on the stools along the counter and tried to coax you, Grandma to just settle in and listen instead of tidying or cooking, or wandering around the way you used to.

I miss you. But I’m trying to not dwell on what I cannot change.

Love,

Magzie

#59 – Back to Square One

I rarely do a Japanese update so close together, but something discouraging happened yesterday and my last update seems inaccurate to what I wrote now. When I began my language learning journey (to learn German), back in 2016 I chose Duolingo and it was a fantastic free option. Yes, the 5 heart health system was frustrating but they reloaded in a few hours and the amount of ads was limited. There were few bugs and it was an easy interface to use. Fast forward to 2024, when I returned to Duolingo to pick up my Japanese learning because I was stuck in a rut from the move, things were very different.

My experience this time lasted a week. A whole week, that’s it. The ads between lessons were 1-3 mins depending on how long you used the app. The more you progressed the longer the ads between lessons. The ability to practice mistakes fully moved behind the paywall. The AI voices were normal at first but then I began to notice pronunciations that seemed incorrect to what I learned other places, and a quick reddit check and I am not alone in that experience.

But then, the nail in the coffin happened. Yesterday I was taking a final lesson review to move on to the next section in Japanese, and the app and AI format truly sabotaged the learning process. I was working on a listening exercise where you have to select words from a word bank based on what the voice says. I listened, listened again, listened on slow-mo, added some words from the word bank, checked my work, added a few more, checked my work, listened again, and submitted my answer. My answer was declared wrong and I lost a heart, although my “incorrect” answer matched the correct answer they showed.

I flagged it and submitted feedback and carried on with my lesson. No big deal. I went through the lesson, this was a review to move on to a new level, so you have to complete it to keep learning, well Duolingo presented the exercise again that I “missed” to do it again. I listened again, reviewed my work, and submitted. The same thing happened and I lost another heart. I flagged it again and moved on.

But I can’t, because this is the last obstacle to finishing the review. So I try again, maybe it will be fixed now? Nope, 3 hearts down. So I back out hoping it will reset the error and I forgot it would reset instead my progress, but not my hearts. I can pay for more hearts or pay for the Super Duolingo service for 99 USD a year for unlimited hearts. I was incredibly frustrated. I didn’t have enough hearts left to practice Korean too.

The hearts now reset after 24 hours. Plus, I can’t progress in Japanese nor can I go back and review previous lessons now because the app is gamified and you need gems to practice anything not just to convert your practice to “legendary” which means they go gold and your “practice streak” is frozen for a while.

Honestly, what the heck? They’ve made it unusable unless you pay money and I’d say that the current app is questionable enough to not justify a subscription even if you have 99 USD that you can spare because this is not even the equivalent of a virtual tutor anymore. I’m pretty disappointed. Having a free app that learning and language practice at its focus was such a good idea. It was accessible regardless of your financial status and it felt authentic.

This is a sham now. The language learning app are all expensive whether its Babbel, LingoDeer, Rosetta, etc. That’s why I would try Duolingo here and there because it was free and it kept you limited by hearts but it wasn’t unusable. That is no longer true.

Now I’m back at square one. I need to figure out a way to practice vocabulary and listening exercises, which I will it was just nice to have those practice sessions at the ready. I’ll go back to my books and flashcards and develop something. I’ll also keep watching Haikyu and Coupy Camper channel.

For Korean this will be a full new adventure. I’ll obviously continue to listen to Kpop and watch Kcontent but I’m going to make some Hangul flashcards and find some Korean language learning books. It will be fine. I’m sorry this post was a bit of a downer but I didn’t want to let my previous Japanese update stand as it was. It’s no longer accurate to my learning process.

Japanese Update with a Twist: July 2024

Moving and all the little details involved with purchasing a house wreaked havoc on my routines and productivity. I stubbornly vowed that I would not fall behind on my knitting project, my sewing plans, my writing goals for this blog, my Bible reading plan, and my language learning but honestly, it did! I lost all those good habits and since then, yeah my language learning has been spotty at best.

I did a little bit of learning while at my mom’s house where I spent an afternoon reviewing my hiragana and katakana flash cards where I felt like I was being defeated by the language. I would quiz myself and make some gains, do it again, and then I would forget the ones I had remembered previously. There was no perceivable progress and I was frustrated.

Frustrated by my lack of focus and lack of consistency in my life at that point. Frustrated that my Japanese study books were stored and questioned if I should have kept them out. Worrying that I was going to lose all my progress. It was a downward spiral. When I was studying my life was still in chaos and I think it showed in my studying. My perfectionism was coming on strong instead of being willing to learn, to fail, and to keep practicing.

Once we closed, June was basically a month of hauling cubes, cleaning, and finding our life once again. But in July I began to feel the lack of habits getting to me. I had a place to work, but instead, I was prioritizing sewing, knitting, and recording the process for Instagram and the blog. Although those are productive, not having that sense of order and balance was irking me. I was pleased with how balanced I was in the spring, I was working on, creating, learning, and progressing. Instead of letting myself get bummed out, I needed to keep fighting to reclaim those habits. I’m so excited about this new home and the space it has to pursue the things I want to do. I needed to accept that this chaos was temporary and discover a new plan.

To get started I’ve been blocking out activities for focus. Laundry on one day where I balance with knitting. If I sew I tend to do it all on one day where I can stay in my sewing studio. Cleaning in the morning, and my personal projects in the afternoon. I’ve been challenging myself to be in the moment and let things be out of my control. If I forget to workout, or read my Bible, instead of making myself feel bad I’ve shifted my perspective to looking forward to tomorrow and the ability to do better.

But what about my Japanese language learning? This idea came to me randomly. I was watching a video that had to do with K-pop and the person was saying she was also learning Korean through Duolingo. Well, I remember Duolingo. It was an option I tried before and got tired of. I questioned whether I would actually learn Japanese to the level I would like and if it was a gimmick. Feeling like I needed to break up my studying routine, something to jump-start my drive and get me motivated again, I decided to re-download the app. This time I mixed up my plan though – I signed up for Korean lessons and picked up my Japanese progress from 2022.

So yeah, I’m learning both now. This probably sounds insane but I watch so much K-pop content on YouTube, particularly the SKZ Code episodes. I listen to K-pop most of the time, and I like K-dramas. While watching M*A*S*H, I realized that they were actually speaking Korean and that I was picking it up because I was already learning Korean by exposure to Korean content. So why not start the process officially?

My plan is to practice on Duolingo and then pick up actual learning books because I have learned in the past year that Duolingo is a tool to practice with but it does not replace other resources and taking the initiative to study. Duolingo has its limitations but it also has one good feature – reminders! And pre-made lessons which are such an amazing thing when you are feeling stuck. This has been the jumpstart I’ve needed for Japanese. I’ve been getting into a habit again!

The last thing that I’ve added to my learning routine is watching Haikyu, a Japanese anime about high school volleyball. It is epic! I’ve been watching it with subtitles and getting immersed in the language like I have been able to do with K-dramas. I’m so encouraged by my enjoyment of Haikyu because I would love to find more anime shows to watch.

Oh, I almost forgot – I have also started listening to J-pop through an Ateez collaboration with the Japanese boy band Be First. I’m hoping this will continue my immersion into the language so that I can improve my listening skills and pronunciation. Things are looking up and I am feeling encouraged! 🙂

My Spring 2024 Soundtrack

The Dawn Chorus – Robin at 5 am

Super Lady – (G) IDLE’s performance at the MLB Seoul Game

K.K. Bubblegum

Car doors shutting and opening

Japanese spoken in conversation – Coupy Camper Channel

Lose My Breath – Stray Kids (feat. Charlie Puth)

Bamboo Knitting Needles & the pulling sound of yarn leaving a skein of yarn

Endless Phone Calls – Samsung S23

Endless Text Notifications – Hala Hala by Ateez

S-Class Whistle – by Felix

A tin lid opening – Rooibos tea tin

Suicide is Painless – M*A*S*H

Wife – (G)IDLE

The rushing current of Wolf Creek tripping over rocks and weeds

Buzzing of bees and other insects pollinating wildflowers

Old WW2 jeep noises – TFL Classics

Dogs barking endlessly

Tap – by Taeyong

The sound of nothing – noise-canceling headphones

The sound of paper being shuffled while I organize

Fabric being cut by pinking sheers

A gentle clicking noise – Grammy’s Rotary Cutter

Arriba and Jongho’s high note – Ateez at Coachella

Slow even rhythm of a properly tensioned sewing machine

Sigh of frustration at Google’s AI Results update

Dash – by NMIXX

Branches swaying in the breeze

That’s very noice! – Felix, Hyunjin, and Chan

Scratching sound of pastel against paper

K.K. Soul

Killin’ It – P1 Harmony

Clarkson’s Farm Season Three Theme

Learning Japanese from K-Camping, Bunny Content, and Going Back to Basics

Since starting this language journey over a year, my learning style has changed a lot and I feel like I’m falling into a rhythm that is helping me retain what I’m learning instead of feeling overwhelmed. Let’s get into it!

When I started learning in 2023 I decided to go “by the book” I thought and bought the books, used college textbooks to be exact, and dictionaries, thinking it would help me tackle this with ease. What I learned as the process went on is that I don’t have a lot of experience learning languages like I thought. I got distracted by the process I set out for myself – working through the textbook, and in turn, procrastinated like a champ.

What helped me get my motivation back was diving into the language itself and leaving the grammar rules of the textbook behind, like diving into hiragana, katakana, kanji, and some vocabulary. I made hiragana flashcards and katakana flashcards. I began learning kanji from an account called the Joy of Kanji on Instagram, as well as started learning vocabulary from Hamasuke’s Japanese Learning channel on YouTube. This was a great way to start learning words and putting the sounds and the alphabet of syllables together in my mind. I would watch Hamasuke’s channel when I rode the exercise bike to try to keep me motivated and it was fun.

Getting Advice From A Native Japanese Speaker

Online I follow several Japanese language teachers as well as many Japanese creators, one of these creators shared advice on an ‘Ask Me a Question’ story post after a follower asked for Japanese learning tips. He said to memorize hiragana and katakana, learn vocabulary and kanji, and immerse yourself in listening to people speak Japanese and worry about grammar and sentence structure later on. Starting in 2024, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s been back to basics and it’s working.

Kinda obvious actually, I mean that’s how we learn our first language, but I think when we are learning as adults or learning a second language, we overcomplicate. I was doing that! I’m so glad that this person shared this advice because it’s taken the pressure off and given me a clear path to follow. It’s been game-changing!

My new learning plan has been to copy down hiragana, katakana, and the kanji I started learning on an app so it’s in front of me and in my notebook. I take my flashcards of hiragana and katakana and I write them down. I go through each stack. Sometimes I go through the stack again, and again depending on how focused I am that day. As long as I keep to schedule and do this several times a week, I see progress. When I skip, I notice I don’t make progress and that is motivating to be consistent. This has been better practice for my own retention of the language than reviewing the flashcards on their own.

Recently, I’ve been marking which ones I can guess and which ones I have guessed wrong to begin tracking my own memorization. That has helped me track my progress and I would recommend after you’ve given yourself enough to practice and learn. Where I’ve seen the most growth is in the next thing I’ve added to my learning – immersion in listening to native speakers.

Forget Anime, I’m a Kei Camper and Bunny Girl

It’s been interesting to find that there are a lot of rabbit channels based in Japan on YouTube. Technically I should clarify – they are usagi channels, the word for rabbit in Japanese. I follow several channels – Pocket Usagi, Kogarana’s Bunny Popo Channel, and Hana-chan no Usagi Channel. I’ve been watching Pokke and Milk of Pocket Usagi and Bunny Popo since 2022 and Hana-chan I found this year. They all include subtitles, which I’ve had some trouble following even when I was learning in 2023, the only word I could pick out quickly from the subtitles was Popo-chan. Since following the new learning strategy, I’ve been able to quickly recognize syllables and pick them in the subtitles as well as words like Hana-chan, Usagi, and some kanji that stand out to me like the one for rest.

Where I have felt the most growth has been since watching Coupy Camper Channel over the last few weeks because he has closed captions, and Japanese subtitles to the side, and he also speaks on camera, which the other channels do not. His channel lets me experience the cadence of speech which is different from my English comfort zone and Korean which I hear watching K-dramas. It’s been such an interesting way to either just listen and see what the words mean in my native language or listen and follow the subtitles to see what the Japanese syllables I’m learning sound like and how it all get put together in conversations. It has also shown me how Japanese is written and how to navigate the lines of characters in their vertical structure. Through recognizing the sounds and characters I learned that it is read vertically right to left. It’s helping me understand pronunciation, which is huge!

Coupy Channel is giving me a taste of Japanese culture too from seeing the country from the perspective of a resident, exploring the countryside through his trips, learning about the cuisine from how he cooks, and seeing how it is not that different from life here. I feel common ground and that is helping put the pieces together. I am incredibly grateful for his content because I am not a big anime fan. I’ve tried watching anime and while I love the style, I’ve struggled to find the right ones to pull me in. I will eventually try again. Until then Coupy Channel will be my guide.

LALALALA and ACNH

The R sound in Japanese has been confusing me from the start but unexpectedly, a song has helped me remember the pronunciation to keep me focused on learning the sound when I am practicing. That sound is ‘LALALALA’ from Stray Kids’ ‘樂-STAR’ album. The song is a wordplay of rock in English and ‘rak’ in Korean, the Chinese character means delight and pleasure but rock is the first part of ‘rock n roll’. It’s quite clever. I’ve used this to help me remember to not read the Japanese syllable as ‘ra’ but remember to pronounce it with the softer ‘la’ r-sound.

Animal Crossing New Horizons’ I’ve learned from watching Coupy Channel and the Rabbit channels, features a lot of little details from Japanese culture which is such a cool way to immerse even if it is being played in English. For example, the Firefly squid came to the game in April and I later watched Coupy Channel prepare while camping. In this, I learned the Japanese name for it hotaru-ika. I’ve learned about festivals in Japanese culture and traditions, it’s been a fun primer.

In conclusion, I’m optimistic that I will make some real progress in 2024. Hopefully, the next update will be an exciting one!

#44 – Reset Over Resolutions

I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution girl, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seriously done that or just made a joking one in my head when I was a teen cause I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. What I do like doing instead is resetting my habits and schedule after Christmas. Because no matter what phase I am in my life that week between Christmas and New Year’s seems to wreck my daily schedule and motivation like no other.

Blocks of Productivity

My plan was literally to plan, I opened Google Docs and made myself a table for a daily schedule. I have tasks I want to be doing each day or every other day – devotions, exercise, Japanese learning, writing, sewing, knitting, art, and cleaning. Without the schedule, I tend to fixate on one thing all day or jump around not making progress on much of anything except for getting through my YouTube music playlists. My solution? Blocking my time like college. Spending a chunk of time, an hour or two, the most three on a given task to get things done and keep my motivation up.

In the morning I’ve decided I have the option to do devotions, Kanji study, art (natural light dependent), or writing. In the afternoon I prefer knitting, sewing, or writing. Intersperse cleaning and exercise in between tasks. The results? One week in and I’d say, I like it! I’ve made progress on my Kanji vocabulary goals – learning 60 Kanji between two lessons. Blocking the Japanese lessons for first in the morning for two hours is the best time for my brain to absorb it. Knitting or sewing in the afternoon has helped me through that mid-afternoon slump.

It’s also allowed me a way to walk away from sewing if I am not enjoying the process. Instead of devoting a whole day to sewing like I did in the past, blocking sewing to a few hours in the afternoon lets my mind feel like I can accomplish a project and still feel okay walking away after an hour. Because sometimes sewing can make me angry. Yesterday, sewing made me quite mad after my three of my hems jammed into the needle plate. The hem was driven down by the needle and unable to be removed without stitch ripping and eventually ripping a hole in the hem. I was angry and ready to be done and instead of angry sewing, I pivoted to something else knowing I could pick up tomorrow and I would because of my new schedule.

Balance in Writing

Another motivator that prompted me to reset my daily schedule was the writing ideas I had. I mentioned before that I have a fiction idea that I have tabled for now for a more pressing idea, a non-fiction fashion research project. This is going to be a big project that needs structure to get done because I have not researched since college and it intimidates me a bit to think of doing that again without the access of inter-library-loan. I don’t know how straightforward the process is going to be on my own without the resources and my mentor to encourage me forward.

I’ve started writing poetry again, mainly to cope with big emotions, something I want to discuss further in a separate post. I’m enjoying it. I enjoy how it makes me feel to write for the fun of it again. I’ve been writing for the fun of it more and more. Last week, I wrote two lengthy pieces that could be blog posts, but I’m not sure if they are “done” yet if that makes sense. And then there is this blog, I need to be more consistent. A reset I am after this month is to get consistent and if necessary make a content calendar to keep myself on task like I used to in my digital marketing job.

Sunshine Come Back

I want to paint more, to sketch daily, and I truly feel handcuffed by the weather. This fall and winter it has been exceptionally dreary. Like we get hints of sunshine and then the gray rolls in. Today, it is mid-morning and the sun has technically risen but I can’t see it behind the sleet, the dark shadows cast by the gray clouds, and the racing wind. It is hecking depressing and I like rainy days and spooky gray skies, but this is truly messing with the art. I need to figure out a lighting situation. Once I do that I hope to get sketching and painting consistently again. Either way, Spring will come or my lighting solution will.

Seasons of Fashion

My sewing and knitting waves of creation follow seasons, the weather seasons, and not the fashion seasons because I can’t keep up and tend to forget that fashion seasons are the opposite of what you would think they would be. That being said, I made a big push in the fall to wrap up cold weather projects before December and since November, I have taken my foot off the gas pedal. But this coasting has to come to an end at some point and that is what this schedule is for because I have purchased fabric for some big, ambitious makes and those are going to take time. For knitting, I’d like to develop more knitting patterns and start looking at launching a shop in some capacity either with patterns or finished goods. I feel more confident in my knitting skills right now than in my sewing skills, but I am going to challenge myself to track my patterns for sewing this year.

This reminds me, I need to transfer a self-drafted pattern I cut out yesterday to my brown kraft paper before I sew up the side and finish the garment. I should go do that before I forget!

Japanese Update: Overcoming Distractions for 2024

I began learning Japanese in January 2023, and I have to say when I started this journey I bought four college textbooks thinking I would be through most of the lessons by the end of the year, and that statement did not come true. In fact, I haven’t finished the first unit book.

Now is this because I’m saying Japanese is so difficult that I couldn’t do it? No, I managed my time poorly and put my language learning sessions as a third or fourth priority in my day which made it easier to procrastinate and not do it all. I made choices that took my attention away from language learning. Now some of these choices were really good choices!

Like I chose to start writing on this blog which has been a huge blessing creatively! It required discipline to keep going and make writing a habit. I also decided I wanted to become a more skilled knitter this year and chose to tackle several sweater projects this year. That stretched my patience and time management skills to get those projects completed quickly to use them in the colder months. As well as sewing my new summer wardrobe, a new coat, and new pajamas.

These were a good distraction, one that taught me about tailoring and fit. I became a better pattern drafter through this practice and learned how to duplicate designs. This was a great use of my time! But it wasn’t language learning, and so in my head I am wrestling with the fact that I didn’t complete my goal yet I achieved many goals that I had. I became a better student and more prepared to learn Japanese through the ways I spent my time this year, ironically not learning Japanese.

I think coming to terms with the fact that we as humans cannot be perfect, is a tough pill to swallow no matter how mature we are or how “laissez faire” we approach our time and therefore when we feel like we need to tick every box off our list and smash every challenge set before us in rider to feel like you did your best, it is hard to show yourself grace that you came short. I hope I did the best I could this year and I hope I gave Japanese my all! I made flashcards to help myself practice hiragana and katakana and tried to immerse myself in culture, grammar, conversational practice, vocabulary, etc.

I have a lot of respect for the language since trying to learn it, more than I did going in. I was intimidated going into the first day of learning but now I am more in awe of the way Japanese as a language works and has worked for 1300+ years. I learned that the first written example of Japanese dates back to the 8th century. I’m amazed by the way Japanese has multiple writing systems and blends its own language with the Han characters of traditional Chinese.

My own native language is a blend of Germanic, French, Latin, and Greek origin words. I understand the blend but I am amazed by the unique way Japanese did it compared to how English did. Dipping my toes into the study of Kanji has made the process of Japanese feel like a full circle, maybe it is just the fact that Kanji seems less scary since my mind is training itself to recognize a new writing system or maybe this is progress, although small, towards understanding Japanese.

Being ready to commit my time to learning next year is a top priority.

It’s bigger than a New Year’s resolution, it’s a plan for my time next year. It is that time of year when we reflect, take stock, and dream for tomorrow. So, what are you planning for? I hope whatever it is dear reader, that it goes well and you have the confidence to chase your dream.

Domo arigato gozaimasu for spending time with me today!

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