Category: Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Fall

If there is a new fall tradition from the 2020s, it must be Gilmore Girls. Maybe it’s the 20 year rule of trend cycles? Or the power of a tiktok phenomena? But this little show, that was niche throughout my time as a teen and into my twenties, is now a cornerstone of American autumnal celebration in our modern age.

I am honestly thrilled to see this story and its characters embraced by a new generation. It was a connecting point for me, my mom, and a few of our close friends. For a while it felt like a secret club, always disappointing me when I would make a new friend and ask – do you like Gilmore Girls? They shoot me a look of puzzlement, like it was a figment of my imagination. It was my comfort show throughout my teens, and finally others are finding its charm!

The only thing that I don’t if I agree with, is Gilmore Girls being crowned as a fall show when I believe it is a show that showcases the seasons. I guess, that’s why the follow up series – A Year In the Life had a seasonal format. At the time I thought it was ASP doing her own thing again, and it might be, but it may also be, artistic focal point to bring attention to what the show’s storytelling is rooted in – all four seasons.

So I took a look at the episodes, season by season, and tallied fall, winter, spring, and summer. I did not count Season 7 because creators, Amy Sherman Palladino and Daniel Palladino, departed after season six.

Fall: 38 episodes

Winter: 43 episodes

Spring: 28 episodes

Summer: 20 episodes

This is why I don’t understand the hype for this being solely a “fall” show. It is a winter show. A spring show. It is a story about four seasons. I’m happy people are finding joy in something that has brought me so much enjoyment. I just don’t agree that Gilmore Girls is only a fall show. I think it sells a show short, when it celebrates the seasons better than most.

Do you agree? Have you ever watched Gilmore Girls? What is your favorite way to celebrate the beginning of fall?

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Letters Of Healing #2 – Letting It Out Is Important Too

I have a bad habit, I’ve acquired over the past few years: I bottle things up so people don’t leave me. Hi, I’m Magz and I have a problem. A two-prong issue, actually, I am not processing my feelings, and I am irrationally concerned about rejection. It’s not good. I was taught to believe by family and society that it was because of divorce, specifically placing the blame on my dad, and to be honest, I believed that for a long time. But that answer leaves all of us who have experienced that or who fear rejection in this weird pseudo-reality of things being out of our control, which doesn’t help. It turns the intensity up all while limiting personal growth. How can you move on if this is baked into your personality, right? I mean, everyone who knows your story will instantly know your flaws – your parent or parents “didn’t love you enough” to stick around. Yeah, this is a toxic bunch of nonsense.

So what has helped me get more clarity on this, honestly, is learning about what makes my mind tick and how I can work with myself to be healthier. For me specifically, learning about neurodivergence, and specifically the possibility of undiagnosed autism or adhd, has helped me understand that there might be more to my penchant for brutal honesty than just being an off-putting person or a bad person. It might be that my brain simply processes differently, yet because I want to fit in – masking, I fall into people-pleasing patterns to “fit in” with those around me. Similar to learning about high-masking autism in females, with adhd, there is a sensitivity to rejection and difficulty with emotional regulation that makes processing the rejection more difficult. I can see these in the ways I have interacted with people throughout my life, especially family members.

I get stuck in these camps of either feeling the need to be brutally honest, especially if I feel an emotional meltdown coming on from bottling everything up, or I clam up and shove it down, no matter how much it hurts to “please” the person. All this does is create a cycle of emotional repression, overwhelm, and meltdown behind the scenes. Loneliness, anger, bitterness, shame, fear of rejection, and pain. This is not what a healthy person looks like.

For too long, I’ve mistaken being “tough” with being healthy. It’s been the one-two punch of finding Elena Carroll’s reflective essays and watching Scrubs for these to start clicking in my brain. I find myself pinballing between being like Dr. Dorian, who lets people like Elliott walk all over him, and Dr. Cox, who shoves it all down and sinks into a pit of loneliness behind the shadows because dealing with my problems makes me feel uncomfortable.

My constant dysfunctional relationship, which gets more unhinged every year, my relationship with my mom is the place where I see all these problematic habits come to the surface. I will bottle something up for a decade, afraid of the confrontation, and then one day I will just explode about something else. To be fair, when I do blow up, it’s usually after my mom has contributed to my anger with a gem of guilt or a little nugget of criticism on some part of my personality. Like recently, I was told she was intentionally withholding her health updates after two concerning ER visits, because I am too “sensitive” to handle anything after I told her it has been scary thinking of being sick because I love her. Yep, I see where I have learned to shove everything down – you can’t be weak and express emotions, that’s for losers.

So where does that leave me? Well, I can either choose Option #1 – be honest about my frustrations and stand up for myself, which comes with consequences, Option #2 – bottle it up and fake a smile, all while my shoulders knit themselves into a stress knot and my jaw clenches like a bear trap, Option #3 – I avoid the relationship for months at a time and pretend like nothing happened. Lately, I’ve been thinking, why can’t I just be honest as it comes, instead of bottling up to the point where I am furious? I don’t live there anymore, there are no consequences for being honest gently, and in the moment that I disagree? That would be healthier, and somehow, over all these years, I forgot how to do this. Because adulthood is lonely. Grief is lonely. Sometimes that fear of rejection and people pleasing is all that you crave just to keep a relationship with a loved one steady, because you miss how easy it was when you were a kid.

I think health, though, might be more important than the illusion of peace, because I have not been managing stress well over the last ten years. My mental health took a toll, and so did my physical health. I’ve stored so much stress in my body, pretending I was happy about things that hurt me because I didn’t want to hear how I was different, not enough like my mom’s family, or weak for being sensitive, or a bad person for getting angry sometimes. I’ve had the same knot at the base of my neck for 5 years, which is not healthy at all. So what am I doing with all these revelations about who I am and what is healthy and what is not? I am slowly shifting through it. I’m taking space and a break from some of my more trying family relationships to get this stress worked out of my body and find my calm again. My husband, friends, and my beloved bun deserve better than for me to let things out of my control take a toll on my mental and physical health. Especially when they are the ones who pick up the pieces when I fall apart.

How do you manage stress? Do you struggle with people pleasing or bottling up emotions? Have people ever told you to change who you are to fit their standards?

Individuals Without Individuality

What does it mean to be an individual? Are you a person? A sum among parts? An island? A unique person, maybe? What does it mean to do things individually? What does individuality mean to an individual? I really wish this word, and its forms, weren’t so tricky to spell with my slightly dyslexic mind (not formally diagnosed, but it runs in the family). It’s a lot to digest, but this has probably been stewing in my mind for the past year, waiting for me to plate it up.

My culture is incredibly individualistic, and this is expressed in good ways and bad. One good way is that my country is a land of immigrants and indigenous people, meaning there are voices, ideas, and ways of doing things. But when there are people, there are forces of wanting to fit in, wanting to control and suppress, and prescribed ideas of the “best” way. I think this has been at the forefront of my mind because I see a vast amount of content being shared online saying originality is dead, or personal style has been killed by the algorithm. We are all core-ified or aesthetically boxed in, and social media has commodified subcultures. But it’s the internet, critiquing the internet, so we’re of course using broad, and extreme brushstrokes here.

Where my mind has drifted to is the sameness. I see people online discussing the boringness of everything from movies to the same cosmetic procedures, the bland landscape of interior design, and starter pack cliches for “types” of women. There is a sea of Petite Knit patterns, a galaxy of Marvel media that repeat the same formula, reboot television, and romantic tropes pushed by publishers and BookTok to make everything fit nicely in the digital marketing ecosystem. Then we fall into nostalgia, like recession pop, which I found myself listening to the other day, reminiscing about my first summer as a member of Geneva’s painting crew in 2010. Thinking about how different life was before I even had a Facebook.

What we talked about and the memories I made with the women and men of my team were tangible, not digital. We discovered what we liked based on environmental forces, like books assigned in school, books suggested by a friend, etc. Music was discovered and shared by radio play, recommendations from others, and shared playlists that your friend curated, not the music streaming platform or the algorithm. I thought a bit less about my appearance, I mean, in adolescence, you are quite aware, but not as much as the smartphone era has brought attention to the physical image of ourselves. I had fewer pictures, grainier pictures, but more memories. Strong memories are tied to tangible things, like songs, food, books, buildings, and movies. We were all very different from each other, yet we could find commonality, and this is where the gears in my mind started turning.

We were part of a group, but had individuality. Yet, nowadays I feel more like I’m in a void, of no commonality, except for how everyone is into the same things, and wears the same clothes, yet we are not connected, communicating, nor would I even consider that despite our shared things we are on a team or part of a community. It’s hollow.

I think we are missing the point of life. We are not working towards something together. We are not part of communities. We are part of aesthetics. We have become fans not of art or sport but of corporations like Target, Lululemon, Sephora, Stanley, and Tesla. Well, probably not Tesla anymore. Target is also being boycotted, so…anyways. Apple, Alo, Rhode, Kate Spade, Trader Joe’s, Labubu. That’s more 2025, phew. Why are we stanning companies? Why are we considering shopping for a hobby? This is not a way to connect; it is a way to consume and drown in stuff instead of substance. Our roots are becoming so shallow, and our debt is vast; we are plants choked out by the weeds of hyper-individualism. We have let originality become a thing achieved not by character formation and real-life community, but by the path of purchase. Purchases for ourselves. It snuck in so fast, I didn’t realize how the art of gift giving has become a self-care checklist. Yikes! It wasn’t until playing Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing: New Horizons that I was struck by how topsy-turvy my own culture has become. Our priorities are whack, and I believe it has made us lonely, shells, devoid of individual thought, buying our way to “happiness” because all we think about is our individual needs above all. We have forgotten that humans are fulfilled by the relationships and communities we are rooted in. It’s time to break the spell.

The Candle Light Cardigan

Fall knitting is here! I’ve been working on this cardigan, off and on, amid a myriad of projects since July. As the days have passed, and a slightly cooler air awakens, I am thrilled to say this piece is ready to wear! I used to struggle to finish sweater projects and I would wander along with my yarn, for three or four months, dilly-dallying on a section because I was bored. This led to a lot of plans and not a lot of garments. This is in the past though. 2024 has been the year of sweaters for me, this being my seventh finished sweater this year! And its only September so I’m excited to see what else I can do in the last quarter of the year.

Do you remember what episode of Gilmore Girls this audio clip is from?

This Comfy Cotton Blend yarn from Lion Brand is a 1 to 1 ratio of polyester and cotton and the tag labels this color blend as chai latte. As I knit it, I saw it more as a banana split blizzard color and now in the spooky cloudy light of fall, I see it as candle light with highlights and shadows. Hence the name, the Candle Light Cardigan. I opted for now to keep this as an open cardigan without a button placket. Not out of laziness, but out of my intention to wear it. This was a cardigan I made specifically for the changing seasons, as a piece I could layer over my summer dresses and tops to get a little more wear out of them on these days when it is both cool and warm as the day progresses. I have two more yarn cakes of this color way which I can use to add a button placket at a later time if I change my mind.

I received this yarn as a gift from my mom as she was de-stashing it. It has been a lovely weight to knit and I like how soft it is. My only notes for Lion Brand would be to work on the splitting. This yarn split often as I was knitting which caught on my needles and led to messy stitches. Either because my needle held on to the stitch below or the yarn split and left some of the stitch behind. It was frustrating at times but not impossible to work with. The fabric it made has a good breathability and warmth to it which I was looking for in a changing seasons layering piece. This is a self drafted pattern that I knit on US 7 straight needles.

Happy Fall everyone one! (And Happy Spring to the southern hemisphere!)

My Friday Night Dinner Outfit

The start of September feels like the start of the Gilmore Girls season. Probably because it used to start airing around this time of the year, but also the show follows a seasonal structure. Usually beginning before or during the school year as Rory embarks on her next academic chapter. A key aspect of Lorelai and Rory’s life is the Friday Night Dinners at Richard and Emily’s house, every week. Emily and Richard, being rather formal people, expect a dress code for their family dinners being formal. It reminds me a bit of dressing up for church as a kid.

There is also a silhouette to the outfits each of the Gilmore Girls wear. They wear a lot of dresses with small cardigans over top, but they also pair fitted blouses with a knee length skirt, usually flared for Rory or a pencil skirt for Lorelai. Rory dresses with a more demure style, that reflects her academic personality where as Lorelai is a bit bold with her patterns, textiles, and colors. It matches her personality of being independent and need to separate her life from her parents’ world.

I thought this combination married both the silhouette of Rory’s style with the bold and playful textiles of Lorelai’s personal style. The blazer is not a Potato Technology piece, I ordered it from YesStyle, but the bustier top and skirt are my own designs. The Floral Print Grafitti Bustier Tank, I designed in 2023 from 1/2 a yard of fabric. This piece was draped and cut on the form. I wish I had known about making craft paper patterns at the time because it’s going to be a challenge to reproduce. The Expressions and Lines Skirt is a new design from this summer. It is a satin graphic print that for the first time, I was able to cut out the pattern directionally without any mishaps! I’m so pleased. 😀

I think the combination of pieces look a bit 2000s, mid 2000s for sure, and capture the essence of the time period. The blend of Lorelai and Rory’s style is a reflection of how I consume the show now. Which character I relate to is a blend as I get closer to Lorelai’s age when the show begins instead of Rory’s age, which is so weird to realize. I’ve truly grown up with this story, being just 12 when I first watched it. Lorelai’s story finds me more each time I watch it.

A Gilmore Stripey Scarf

I smell snow. An iconic line from a one-of-a-kind character, in a show that successfully captured the magic of winter despite being filled in southern California. They have me fooled every time!

Gilmore Girls has some of the most inspiring winter fashion of any show I’ve watched! I get excited as the temperature drops each fall because I know it’s almost coat season, hat season, scarf season, etc. From season one onward, Lorelai’s love for winter is magnetic! She has a passion for the flakey white accumulation, wrapped up in the atmosphere of cozy nights, and of course her cold weather accessories. She shares this dynamic winter wardrobe with Rory who can rock a good scarf with the best of them.

These items are not just layers or bulk, they are a canvas upon which to paint and express who the characters are by what they wear. They are sentences without words. Personality in yarn. A conversation starter, or simply a colorful way to brighten the gloomy and the gray. A bright point in our day. When I was thinking about adding a new cold-weather accessory to my wardrobe this was my ethos. It had to be special, something I would treasure and wear until it fell apart.

The Plan

My goal for this winter season was to make a striped, colorful, skinny scarf in the early 2000s, aka prime Gilmore style. To accomplish this I thought I would need a myriad of colorful yarns. You can see from my inspiration photos above, there is a lot of color. In my extant garments from that time in my life, there was also a lot of color. My skinny scarves from Aeropostale in the early 2000s were blended with a myriad of shades, but to my surprise, when I began to work on this project, a small color palette of three produced the most impact.

The Pattern:

On US 8 needles with worsted weight yarn, knit for 40 stitches, purl 40 stitches, and swap colors every 2 rows. To a desired length, I believe my finished product is around 48 inches. If you make one, I wish you happy knitting!

Maybe the End of Gilmore Girls is Perfect?

When Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life came out in 2016, I was underwhelmed. Disappointed and frustrated? Like a lot more frustrated than I was by the vile season seven situation.

Tonight as I was sipping on some mint tea and letting my mind wander, maybe it’s the goldenrod pollen clouding my judgement, but as I sat and let my mind unwind, I pondered Gilmore Girls. In the background Florida and Tennessee play and a myriad of commercials clutter the game, including a Dancing with the Stars commercial featuring Alyson Hannigan who portrayed Lily on How I Met Your Mother. I remembered how much I disliked Lily and preferred Robin, yet now in 2023 I can’t see past the painful “not like other girls’ characterization of Robin. Then I thought of Rory. How Rory is special, that phrase hovers in the wings of every episode. But why is Rory special? Is she ” not like other girls”? Or maybe she is designated as special because the ending of Gilmore Girls ingeniously makes the odd writing make sense? Could it?

Hear me out, the ending that Rory writes a book about their lives called “Gilmore Girls” as the wrap up to the story was a bit on the nose for me. I found it a cop out to the illustrious future she was supposed to have and questioned whether this whole reboot was a cash grab (before that became a trend in the 2020s) and not a way for Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino to get redemption for season seven and wrap up their show their way. I doubted and I scoffed. I questioned the whole revisit to Stars Hollow and have shunned it from Gilmore Girls cannon.

In the years since, I have struggled with stomaching Rory’s behavior and the self-centeredness of the Gilmore Girls throughout the series as their actions are brushed off and accepted as frickin’ adorable even when they are out of line. Maybe it was maturity or the reboot left a bad taste in my mouth? I’m not sure. Currently I stop my Gilmore Girls re-watches at the end of season five because Rory and Lorelai’s falling out in season six felt too close to some of my own personal issues. The Huntzberger drama and Luke’s daughter, the marriage of Chris and Lorelai, Lane and Zach’s marriage, etc. It’s all bad. So I end my journey at the end of season five and hope that Rory really doesn’t drop out of Yale and act like such an entitled brat in season six. I know it’s silly but I grew up with Rory’s story arc and she was a character I wanted to be more like. I wanted to be driven and achieve great things and early Rory was kind, thoughtful of others, I wanted to be like that. She doesn’t stay that way, she becomes a bit of a monster, yet her world doesn’t see her that way. How does that work? It’s one of the biggest plot holes to me, unless the ending of the reboot makes it make sense.

If Rory indeed wrote the Gilmore Girls story, then her main character energy would make sense. Her behavior would be excused by her bias. The town, friends, and family would revolve around her in her world and it would justify her inability to take criticism, because why would she need it if she is writing her “truth”.

The bizarre reflection of her choices and decisions that always come up smelling like roses no matter how bad her decisions are (like her affair with Dean) all seem plausible now. The magnetic energy of Lorelai and how she is the “queen” of Stars Hollow would also make sense because she sees Lorelai as her hero. Those behind the scenes out of character sweet moments from Emily and Richard, seem like wishful thinking instead of reflecting how manipulative they choose to be. It all makes sense. Even Christopher’s docile portrayal of not being that bad of a guy, even though he abandoned them, I mean I always wished for that from my dad. In the bad times, as a kid, I’d try to paint him in a better light.

It’s interesting to think of at least that maybe all the ugly of the final seasons of Gilmore Girls actually wraps up into something that makes sense. Rory paints herself into someone we like, a unicorn that everyone loves because she is telling the story and that is how it all weaves together after all. Something to think about at least as I rewatch the series again this fall.

Have you ever watched Gilmore Girls? If so did you like the reboot? Do you like the character of Rory through the entire series?

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