Author: Magz

#74 – Ain’t That Just the Way

So this week started off amazing. My mom and I began finding a healthy way forward, for real this time. Nothing shoved under the rug to deal with later. No festering. No harsh talk, instead patience, love, realness. It was truly an answer to prayer that I learned, required me to put into action what I was feeling.

I journaled all my raw feelings, and sat with what these words on paper showed me – I wanted more. I wanted realness, and nothing less. We each reaches this point at the same time, and it got better. Over last week, it got much better. Kinder. I even spent time with her on Sunday.

Monday morning though, life decided things were too good. Our family dog, Sully, became extremely sick. He had been dealing with some health issues over the past year, but it fell apart over night. He died on Tuesday. I am heartbroken, but crying together with my mom instead of on own like we did for other big losses.

I think the most challenging part of losing a pet is that sense of home you associate with them. He was my safe place for 14 years, all of my adulthood so far, and his steady love will always be missed.

Have you lost a pet? What helped you heal? I’m going to try to get back on track with writing next week, but yeah, life just keeps getting weirder, everyday.

Upcycling Pillowcases into a Vest and Skirt

What if the clothing we wear is more than just a garment, but connects us to the fibers of our being?

What if a pillowcase, from a loved one no longer here with you, could be more than just an item cluttering your closet? How could you repurpose it so the memories can walk with you in the new days ahead. All while the smell of their laundry detergent, and their home, so distinct to your senses, that being near it makes you feel comfort.

That is what this project is to me. More than an upcycle, or a thrifty hack, but a way to process feelings. Find a way forward. So the things left behind, that remind of what is missing, can do more than drown us in memory and stuff, but become a tangible way of healing.

#73 – Welcome, Again!

A lot has changed in the 2 years since this blog was launched, and I thought, it might be time to update my introduction.

In 2023, my plan was to finding a new landing place for me to explore writing again, after Muirin Project, my blog from 2016-2019. I wanted to showcase my novel, catalog my knitting and sewing journey, journal my bible study, and share my love for creative expression in many artistic mediums.

Now I have added some new things to the mix – Japanese learning, Kpop, garment workers/conscious consumption, and most excitingly: gardening! Which welcomed my husband to the site to share his experiences with gardening and bring awareness to why natural ecosystems, seed saving, and eating local matter. He is also preparing to share his other favorite hobby – woodworking.

Now, for something I question – should I change the site name? I am uncertain for SEO purposes and the likelihood of broken links. I don’t think it is wise. But this site is so much more than just my work, it is the harmonizing voices of myself and Kyle which is how I think the world becomes a better place – working together. Let’s keep the honmoon sealed. ❤

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I Learned How to Crochet

The 2020s have brought many trends and crafts to my attention, but the one craft that has caught my attention, and kept me craving the ability to do it, has been crochet. I love the loops, the lace holes/open weave of its stitching structure, the texture, the projects’ talented crocheters’ design, and most importantly, the granny square projects! I am a colorful knitter, and the granny square scratches that artistic place in my brain. It brings me instant happiness.

In Spring 2024, I made my first attempt to crochet, and it was doomed from the start. I bought a cheap hook, neither ergonomic nor very hooked. The hook failed over and over again to grab the loops. The yarn over motion became yarn slip away, which made the process of learning how to execute crochet stitches dang near impossible! I was busy, not in the headspace to learn a new skill. My frazzled mind became evident in my tight, tortured stitches so snug the hook would not easily pull up a loop. So I set aside my desire for crochet for over a year.

During that time, I recentered my mind and learned new skills that I can see now, in hindsight, that made learning crochet in July 2025 so much easier! I slowed down my sewing and focused on fiber arts, mainly knitting, in the year that followed. During this year of reset, I tried new things that prepared me to be a better student of crochet. I knit socks, I learned colorwork, circular knitting, and explored new fibers and stitches. I learned how to work with my tension, and adapt to a looser weave for colorwork and circular knitting. I learned how to pick up stitches and new ways to construct knit garments. I suspended what I thought yarn crafting was, opening my mind to new techniques, which I believe prepared me to learn a completely different approach – crochet.

Why is crochet such a big jump from knitting? Well, I think for me, because I learned knitting first, my muscle memory was guiding my approach. My brain was shifting into its comfort zone when I would pick up that first crochet hook and reject the notion of using one tool, instead of two needles. My thinking was rigid, just as it was when I first began my language learning journey into the world of Japanese. When learning, we have to hold what we know and what we have done loosely, all while inviting a new guest to the party. A teachable spirit is really a mind of hospitality for the new skill.

I think a good teacher and good exposure also help. When I first tried to learn in 2024, I went to a former neighbor who crocheted and asked her for advice. She let me borrow a book, but didn’t offer much more than that. Although we were in the same town, on the same street, we never crafted together, and when I asked for advice when I got stuck, but she didn’t respond. It sucked. This time around, I went to a tried and true source – TLYarnCrafts, the wonderful Toni Lipsey. Her tutorials saved me when I got overwhelmed by the instructions in my library book. My library was a great source of inspiration, though – I borrowed ‘A Modern Guide to Granny Squares’ by Celine Semaan and Leonie Morgan. This book helped me understand the magic loop and had lovely diagrams to get me started.

Three other crafters who helped me get excited to crochet are YouTube creators – Lizfoolery, Blondie Knots, and Mark Vogel. Mark’s recent granny square vest project was so lovely, I was determined to learn crochet just to make that piece. But it’s not just wearables that have motivated me. I want to make a seashell basket, a flower bookmark, a fish potholder, a pie purse, and blankets! The classic Chevron to replace the one that my great-grandma made, which was lost in 2021, and the star blanket by Betty McKnit. I have also downloaded the hexi-granny cardigan pattern from TLYarnCrafts for a fun, cool weather wearable.

To wrap up, I’ve been crocheting for two weeks now and have made two wonky granny squares, a pair of crochet stays/vest that is 90% done, and a sweater that is cast on with a few inches complete. It feels surreal and also so natural. I love crocheting! Maybe because it is new to me, but I look forward to getting a few rows done each day. It’s become my fun crafting, where I can relax and get lost in the rhythm of loops and yarning over.

Have you ever crocheted? What helped you get through the process of beginning to do the thing? I hope you have a lovely day, dear reader. Thanks for spending a little time here with me in this [I hope] cozy corner of the internet. You make these little moments of reflection an exciting part of my making process. ❤

Can I Make Mid-Size Overalls from 1 Yard of Fabric?

Do you ever think of something you’ve accomplished and wonder if you could do it even smaller? Well, I set a challenge for myself. A year ago, I wrote about creating a summer dress with a button-front from less than 1.5 yards of fabric. That post inspired this one, as this summer I was able to squeak out a pair of shortalls (overall shorts) from a yard of 59″ stretch twill from Mood Fabrics. This was not my first overall attempt, but I think my most ambitious because this yardage was for a pair of shorts with some abundant pockets, but I changed my mind after seeing a variety of overalls styled for spring and summer. I’ve owned this style before in denim. My favorite version I’ve purchased was a pair of vintage ’90s denim shortalls that were baggy and breathable for those swampy summer days. The more fitted versions I’ve found in stores in recent years are not my cup of tea, because for me, overalls are best when they are oversized.

When I cut these overalls out, I had just completed my draft of an overalls pattern from 2 yards of 44″ cotton twill from Kokka Fabrics, and I was itching to make more without fabric shopping, so I went for a dig in my fabric/yarn closet. It’s more of an antique clothing press, to be fair. This is where I found my gold – 1 yard of 59″ across cotton twill in a fun pattern, sturdy enough for a bottom weight garment with just enough fabric to cut the shorts, the bib, the straps. That was all I could muster for sure. I set aside the project and got to work on my Kokka Fabric project, which taught me so many things about sewing overalls that I had overlooked in past attempts.

Firstly, the back bib is not a rectangle. Secondly, a facing for the bib makes the project feel more professional. Thirdly, the buttons on the side need to be properly assembled with the fly for the right stability. Finishing the edges with twill tape made from the project’s fabric helped create a crisp look. Fourth, the overalls need pockets in order for the garment to sit well on the body. Lastly, I did not accomplish these with my 1-yard of fabric overalls. I took some shortcuts.

I ran out of fabric for the pockets, the fly, and the twill tape. To remedy this, I kept the shape to a romper style and less of a traditional overall. The bib is rectangular on both the front and back. The pockets were added from a previous project; I upcycled shorts into pockets. The side does not have any fastening, instead I sewed up the seam and let the boxy cut of the shorts and stretch of the fabric help me compensate for my lack of fabric.

So if this project is a pair of overalls that is not a traditional overall, but more of a romper, why am I writing about this?

Well, because the finished product is a wonderfully comfortable garment, practical for many things – gardening, sewing, cooking, knitting, farmers market, apple picking, cleaning, walking in the woods, going to the beach, etc – and I made it without being an expert. I made this garment through hand sewing, so you don’t even need a sewing machine if it’s out of your current budget. I purchased this fabric on sale for 10 USD/yard. I used less than a spool of thread, and repurposed the pockets from an item in my closet that I didn’t want to wear anymore. Have you seen the price of overalls? They are expensive, even the short version. A low-quality version will still set you back 30 USD.

I made these with 10 USD of fabric for a midsize frame, so this is accessible to all of us, not just the slim people. A lot of popular and cheap DIYs on the internet are made for very small bodies, which makes me nervous that if I try it, it will be expensive, but this wasn’t. Making these overalls was incredibly rewarding, too. These aren’t even the best pair I’ve made this summer, I’ll share the other ones soon! But these ones will have a special place in my heart because they are unique, comfortable, and made with my own hands. So if you have an idea of how you could make something by hand, make it happen! It’s a lot easier than you think, a great learning experience, and there are tons of resources here online to help you succeed!

Flannel Upcycling | Making A Vest

Last summer, I wanted to introduce vests into my wardrobe. I have made vests before for Kyle, but have not sewn a vest for myself before; I have knit them. Because this was a spontaneous idea, I needed to be budget-conscious and find a way to use what I had to make a vest. So I went to my closet and got creative! I had a few flannels in my closet that were hanging there, waiting for me to wear them, but I didn’t. That’s when I looked at the shirts closely – there was a button placket, shoulder yoke, and a sturdy fabric, with room to crop them. I saw the vest within the shirt, so I grabbed my scissors—and was a bit too zealous with the first one! Don’t be like me, have a plan. So how did I make this upcycle work? And what did I learn from my failed attempt?

Shoulder Seams, Yoke, and Waist Length

The crucial points of cutting, I would say, are being aware of the shoulder seams, accounting for the back yoke width, and properly measuring your waist length for a proper fit.

  • Shoulder seams on a flannel are boxy and loose. To achieve the set-in sleeve opening that accentuates and reveals the shirt underneath, you need to cut away the shoulder line – but not too much. Be mindful of how far into the shoulder you plan to cut, so that you are left with a proportional line.
  • The shoulder yoke is a technique used to tailor the shoulder line, while leaving the fabric below the shoulder loose. As a result, there will be more fabric on the back of the vest, which may affect the fit of the arm openings and possibly require a dart to remedy the loose fabric. If not, the back will gape open, looking awkward and like a mistake. A vest should hug the body, be tailored, or else the upcycle will look exactly like you cut up a flannel.
  • The length of the vest determines the style and balance of an outfit. One of my vests I cut too short, and this limits how I can wear it. I find it cuts me off in a regency high-waisted fashion that is fine when I wear it with a high-waisted skirt, but with pants or my linen Darcy shirt, it’s awkward. The other vest was cropped, in a careful fashion, ending at my hip and balancing my body line like a well-tailored garment. It’s far more versatile.
  • Cutting the neckline is crucial. For the front, a tapered cut to the button placket provides the classic look. Be careful not to cut too low for a historical silhouette. Also, remember not to cut the back the same as the front! I made this mistake and had to sew the cut portion back into my vest. This should be a crew neck line, straight across, with a slight dip in the middle for comfort.

Why a Flannel Shirt?

I chose flannel shirts as my medium to work with for three specific reasons. The first one I already mentioned – cost. We had just moved into our house and paid quarterly taxes. The vests were not a necessity, just a whim, so it made sense to me to take an existing item, I didn’t wear to create something I would wear. It’s funny how the sustainable option is sometimes the free option too. Secondly, flannel is a sturdy fabric, appropriate for the structure of the vest, that could be sewn without the addition of a lining, which I could add later if I wished, when I was more comfortable spending money on fabric. Thirdly, flannel is a classic pattern that reminded me of the woven woolen coating fabrics that vests have been sewn with for centuries, so it was a good match! I hope this inspires you to repurpose items you have to make something new! For the rest of the flannel, the pieces I cut away, like the sleeves, stay tuned to see what I did with those. It’s one of my favorite makes. 🙂

Letters Of Healing #2 – Letting It Out Is Important Too

I have a bad habit, I’ve acquired over the past few years: I bottle things up so people don’t leave me. Hi, I’m Magz and I have a problem. A two-prong issue, actually, I am not processing my feelings, and I am irrationally concerned about rejection. It’s not good. I was taught to believe by family and society that it was because of divorce, specifically placing the blame on my dad, and to be honest, I believed that for a long time. But that answer leaves all of us who have experienced that or who fear rejection in this weird pseudo-reality of things being out of our control, which doesn’t help. It turns the intensity up all while limiting personal growth. How can you move on if this is baked into your personality, right? I mean, everyone who knows your story will instantly know your flaws – your parent or parents “didn’t love you enough” to stick around. Yeah, this is a toxic bunch of nonsense.

So what has helped me get more clarity on this, honestly, is learning about what makes my mind tick and how I can work with myself to be healthier. For me specifically, learning about neurodivergence, and specifically the possibility of undiagnosed autism or adhd, has helped me understand that there might be more to my penchant for brutal honesty than just being an off-putting person or a bad person. It might be that my brain simply processes differently, yet because I want to fit in – masking, I fall into people-pleasing patterns to “fit in” with those around me. Similar to learning about high-masking autism in females, with adhd, there is a sensitivity to rejection and difficulty with emotional regulation that makes processing the rejection more difficult. I can see these in the ways I have interacted with people throughout my life, especially family members.

I get stuck in these camps of either feeling the need to be brutally honest, especially if I feel an emotional meltdown coming on from bottling everything up, or I clam up and shove it down, no matter how much it hurts to “please” the person. All this does is create a cycle of emotional repression, overwhelm, and meltdown behind the scenes. Loneliness, anger, bitterness, shame, fear of rejection, and pain. This is not what a healthy person looks like.

For too long, I’ve mistaken being “tough” with being healthy. It’s been the one-two punch of finding Elena Carroll’s reflective essays and watching Scrubs for these to start clicking in my brain. I find myself pinballing between being like Dr. Dorian, who lets people like Elliott walk all over him, and Dr. Cox, who shoves it all down and sinks into a pit of loneliness behind the shadows because dealing with my problems makes me feel uncomfortable.

My constant dysfunctional relationship, which gets more unhinged every year, my relationship with my mom is the place where I see all these problematic habits come to the surface. I will bottle something up for a decade, afraid of the confrontation, and then one day I will just explode about something else. To be fair, when I do blow up, it’s usually after my mom has contributed to my anger with a gem of guilt or a little nugget of criticism on some part of my personality. Like recently, I was told she was intentionally withholding her health updates after two concerning ER visits, because I am too “sensitive” to handle anything after I told her it has been scary thinking of being sick because I love her. Yep, I see where I have learned to shove everything down – you can’t be weak and express emotions, that’s for losers.

So where does that leave me? Well, I can either choose Option #1 – be honest about my frustrations and stand up for myself, which comes with consequences, Option #2 – bottle it up and fake a smile, all while my shoulders knit themselves into a stress knot and my jaw clenches like a bear trap, Option #3 – I avoid the relationship for months at a time and pretend like nothing happened. Lately, I’ve been thinking, why can’t I just be honest as it comes, instead of bottling up to the point where I am furious? I don’t live there anymore, there are no consequences for being honest gently, and in the moment that I disagree? That would be healthier, and somehow, over all these years, I forgot how to do this. Because adulthood is lonely. Grief is lonely. Sometimes that fear of rejection and people pleasing is all that you crave just to keep a relationship with a loved one steady, because you miss how easy it was when you were a kid.

I think health, though, might be more important than the illusion of peace, because I have not been managing stress well over the last ten years. My mental health took a toll, and so did my physical health. I’ve stored so much stress in my body, pretending I was happy about things that hurt me because I didn’t want to hear how I was different, not enough like my mom’s family, or weak for being sensitive, or a bad person for getting angry sometimes. I’ve had the same knot at the base of my neck for 5 years, which is not healthy at all. So what am I doing with all these revelations about who I am and what is healthy and what is not? I am slowly shifting through it. I’m taking space and a break from some of my more trying family relationships to get this stress worked out of my body and find my calm again. My husband, friends, and my beloved bun deserve better than for me to let things out of my control take a toll on my mental and physical health. Especially when they are the ones who pick up the pieces when I fall apart.

How do you manage stress? Do you struggle with people pleasing or bottling up emotions? Have people ever told you to change who you are to fit their standards?

Will I Wear A Knit Tank?

This is a follow-up to my recent post, ‘Will I Wear a Knit T-shirt?’, where I examined the fibers and wearability of a knit t-shirt and discussed whether this summer knit project could be a suitable option. Since then, I finished and got to wear a new piece of knitwear – my first knit tank top. I wore it in July, in full humidity with highs in the upper 80s to low 90s Fahrenheit. My experience surprised me – I said before that my knit t-shirts are wonderfully comfortable, but have a temperature and humidity limit for me, but the tank top surprised me!

I think it was the high pima cotton content in the Knit Picks Comfy – a 75% Pima Cotton and 25% Acrylic mixture that uplifted the breathability for me. I was melting in the hot sun, but the air flow and temperature regulation were spectacular! This tank had delicate straps but did not have a lacy stitch or open weave. It was constructed with regular knit and purl stitches, with sections that had double layers of yarn due to two sections of colorwork graphics on the front and back.

With Pima Cotton, Silk, Bamboo, or Linen as the primary fiber, or a blend of these natural fibers, I believe knit tanks are just as breathable as woven fabric, and for sure more breathable than moisture-wicking tech fabrics, which are polyester. No, I wouldn’t work out in this top, but there is something to say for a garment that is comfy and breathable for those long summer days. It was a simple stitch-up up only calling for two hanks of 100-gram worsted-weight yarn, about 240 yards, with the addition of 1/3 or 40 yards of the accent yarn, another cotton-acrylic worsted-weight blend from Loops and Threads. You can make a tank like this for 30 USD or less, and this is a size large. So if you have a small amount of yarn, you can do a lot with it!

Do you think a knit tank would be an item you would wear?

Trying Libby for the First Time

I recently joined a library again and it feels great. Going to the Meadville Public Library was a staple of our time as residents. Saying goodbye to those endless shelves, antique architecture, and Stars Hollow view of the gazebo from the sweeping windows was a precious gem I took for granted. When we moved to my current town, we checked out the new library and were underwhelmed from both the location – under the borough building – to the sparse and watered down collection. With current attack on public libraries by the big oaf and his minions, we decided to look around for a better option and we found it in a neighboring town.

With library card in hand, I downloaded an app my friend recommended – Libby. It’s a new to me digital book, digital magazine, and audiobook loaning platform that reminded me of audible but better, because its free. We briefly had an audible subscription to fill the void and it was a blast, except for the price. There was also a gatekeeping aspect to it, all these amazing audiobooks are here to change your life – now pay up. 🤨

Although with Libby, there are wait times, I deeply enjoyed my first listen. I chose ‘The Cousins’ by Karen M. McManus. I had started her book ‘One of Us is Lying’ back in 2021 and returned it before I could finish, but I liked her writing style. Since this title was checked out I went with her stand alone novel, for its mysterious yet Gossip Girl- esque plot.

The audio was smooth, with four different narrators that felt more like I was listening to a play than a book. It was atmospheric and enveloping. Listening to a book is my favorite way to craft. It keeps me engaged and off my phone.

What I have discovered since finishing ‘The Cousins’ is the magazine section which offers Marie Claire Korea, Vogue Japan, and several new Korean and Japanese fashion magazines I’ve never seen before. These are the editions I’ve seen my favorite bands featured in but have no way to interact with unless I wanted to pay $50 for an issue sold secondhand. All for free because of the library and the Libby app. I am delighted! 😄

Designing Clothing That Fluctuates With You

This is inspired by a discussion from Maybe Bre, which made me reflect on something I hadn’t discussed before. As well as my own experience wearing clothing, as a garden-variety human who loves fashion but doesn’t always enjoy how our clothing is made.

By this, I mean the patterns and fastening of our modern times. The zipper is a wonderful thing, and so is the structured waistband. I love them in jeans because denim that isn’t compromised by stretch is a rugged and sturdy garment that isn’t a piece that conforms to you; your body is housed within the trousers. I feel the same way about a structured coat. In doing so, I buy these pieces oversized for comfort, which leaves me with a garment that most of the time doesn’t technically fit me. If I did buy it to fit me right now, there is no guarantee that over many decades it would continue to fit me – I’ve been burned before by this problem. Hence, all my “staple, investment pieces” from college no longer live in my closet because they are no longer my size. If I had planned ahead and bought them a bit oversized, they might still be with me, but they wouldn’t have “fit” me at the time.

My problem with clothing is becoming clear, isn’t it? I desire longevity and wearability from clothing, in a way that is not offered off the rack. I desire my clothes to grow and shrink with me, depending on how my body changes over time. This has been my design focus in the last few years as I have placed myself in the driver’s seat of my wardrobe through the process of sewing and knitting.

My idea is not innovative; it is historical. Clothing, because it was so expensive and hard to make, was more adaptable in the past. Fastenings such as tie waist, lacing, and buttons with multiple sizes of tightness were common because clothing was not as easy or cheap, and they were not seen as disposable or replaceable. Changing fashions came with garment reworks, ye olde upcycling as it were. This is what I desire: the ability to change the fit of my garment.

I recently figured out how to sew with elastic, which is a game-changer for shorts and gathered sleeve hems! Before this, though, I was making most of my bottomweight garments with tie waists or several options of buttons to let the garment adjust to the needs of the day, I’ve also sewed with intentional relaxed fit, initially due to a lack of tailoring skill but over time it has been to allow wiggle room in pieces I have spent days or weeks of my life crafting.

Being present in the making process has taught me to treat my clothing with more respect, even when it is time to discard the current version of it for something more useful. I’ve stopped donating as much, decluttering, and rebuying, to be honest, to be more intentional with the garment and its life cycle. I am the one who brought it to life, I can’t simply consume and discard it like it is nothing. I am deprogramming my brain from decades of fast fashion insanity.

I believe if clothing were made with this design philosophy, that clothing would fluctuate with you over time, I believe we would enjoy wearing our clothing more because instead of buying stretch fabric everything, we could still wear good natural fibers, maybe a bit bulkier than spandex and less figure hugging and lurex denim, but would be better for the humans and the planet. Style and substance, as they say on the Great British Baking Show!

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