In Business 101, we had to develop a product, write a business plan, marketing strategy, and ways to expand. My group developed plan for an innovative athleisure brand – Kanga Shoes.
Like Nike or Adidas, it started with the Kanga shoe. A sneaker with streamlined design for activity, like the mighty kangaroo, it also had a pocket – like a kangaroo. We developed bags and hoodies, because obviously the kangaroo details of the pouch. It was a fun project. One of my favorite memories of freshman year!
I have this new widget on my phone, the verse of the day, and what I love about this new widget is that I can’t accidentally close out the notification like I can with the Bible App’s push notification. I’ve done that so many times by accident and it frustrates me because I like having the verse of the day reminder at the top of my phone. Why do you ask? These verse-of-the-day notifications are sometimes like a voice in the wilderness, paraphrasing Isaiah 40:3. It cuts through the chaos, the world’s inhumanity, and all that life throws at us. It reminds me to stop and remember who stands beside me through every moment – Jesus.
Today’s verse of the day is a verse I remember from childhood, it was the theme verse of my Bible cover. It was shortened to include the first phrase of the sentence – “a friend loves at all times” and featured a cartoon-style illustration of a group of kids with their arms around each other like they were posing for a photo. They were united in love for one another. I liked that case because it reminded me that I could feel the fellowship I longed for being an only child with my friends. I could get a taste of the community my friends and cousins had instead of feeling like the odd one out.
It wasn’t until much later, it could easily be my Bible read-through in 2020-2021, that I understood there was more to the verse. There is more to this verse, and the entire second half of a sentence that fills me with emptiness not because I am an only child, but understanding what the verse means – family united. Recently there has been a lot of family in my life again and it has taken me some time to get used to having people around again.
In the last ten years, my family has seemed more like Coyote to my Road Runner.
There has been a lot of betrayal, suspicious decisions, and big divides. When I read that verse this morning I was struck by how I associate friends with the security of family and family with the cloak of the adversary in my life. The villain mostly instead of the place I run to. Am I really that jaded? Cause that sounds jaded and not like a person in a healthy place. I shouldn’t be scared of family, but I am. I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to be let down.
A longtime friend and I just ended our friendship and the weirdest part about the whole thing has been the rollercoaster of emotions flooding my mind. I feel grief like she died, but she didn’t our relationship did. I feel like I lost my sister, but ironically what sent me running for the hills in our disagreement was how much she began to remind me of my sister, my dad’s youngest. We have different moms. We have a lot of baggage and the relationship is quite toxic.
In the final days of our friendship, I was freaked out once I saw how much our friendship had grown into a toxic state mirroring my relationship with my sister. The crossover from a safe friendship to a toxic family dynamic frightened me. Ironically since we had to part ways because we couldn’t seem to right our problems, I have been grieved about losing a “sister” figure in that friendship. Even though the friendship was unhealthy for a long time, I felt a sisterhood with her because she wasn’t actually related to me, and I overlooked the ways we were unhealthy for each other because it is safer to cling to this faux-sister thing than to leave it behind. I completely wish my friend well and want her to find a support system that works better for her because the toxic dynamic that we brought out in each other was no good for anyone.
And yet, I find myself feeling like that little kid again with the Bible cover hoping I find a new community even though I do have a community right in front of me, but some of that community involves family. I’m definitely supposed to learn something here.
So, why am I sharing all this? When I saw this verse pop up on my widget I was struck by how serious this is for our communities and our world. Family should not be the ones who hurt us, but they can and they do, on varying levels of seriousness, some being very, very serious levels. God gave us the structure of family and of friendship. They are inherently good things. But we use them for bad because we are fallen humans. We are capable of creating unrepairable damage, where I stand with several family members and it sucks knowing that we may never be able to repair this on Earth.
I think being a Peacemaker, as God calls us to be is more than just finding reconciliation, I think it’s also about filling those gaps in society. Some people have family members who have done evil things and their actions and continued choices have made it impossible to reconcile on Earth as it stands, it’s all in God’s hands for now. Being a peacemaker does not mean forcing insincere apologies, or forcing families back into dangerous, even deadly situations. Being a peacemaker challenges us to bring God’s kingdom here. To love, to comfort, to fill the gaps, and to show who God is and what He freely gives to us all if we accept Him. None of us have earned it or deserve it and that’s not the point. The point is to glorify God and allow Him to transform our lives and our world. Being a willing vessel is what is important.
I was watching a documentary last night called Jonathan & Jesus, it’s on Amazon Prime, and in it, Jonathan Roumie met with the leader of Civil Righteousness, Jonathan Tremaine Thomas, and spoke about what being a peacemaker is and I was struck by how much daily myself and the world around me misses the point of what that means. Especially for me, I think of my family. It’s like we have divorced ourselves from acknowledging that is part of the Christian life. But in the early church, Christians were the peacemakers, the outposts of hope in dire situations like plagues. There are a lot of things, I remembered, that we are missing the plot about. Some days it feels overwhelming to think about creating change, even in my own life not just in my community, or my country.
This verse of the day really humbled me. The documentary humbled me. The words of Jonathan Roumie, Brandon Flowers, Alice Cooper, Jonathan Tremaine Thomas, Francis Chan, etc humbled me. But also filled me with hope and purpose. A reset. I’m resetting a lot this month, I guess between my schedule and my focus. That’s why I love the verse of the day, God speaks through this app and through documentaries, His voice is everywhere as long I listen.
I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution girl, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seriously done that or just made a joking one in my head when I was a teen cause I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. What I do like doing instead is resetting my habits and schedule after Christmas. Because no matter what phase I am in my life that week between Christmas and New Year’s seems to wreck my daily schedule and motivation like no other.
Blocks of Productivity
My plan was literally to plan, I opened Google Docs and made myself a table for a daily schedule. I have tasks I want to be doing each day or every other day – devotions, exercise, Japanese learning, writing, sewing, knitting, art, and cleaning. Without the schedule, I tend to fixate on one thing all day or jump around not making progress on much of anything except for getting through my YouTube music playlists. My solution? Blocking my time like college. Spending a chunk of time, an hour or two, the most three on a given task to get things done and keep my motivation up.
In the morning I’ve decided I have the option to do devotions, Kanji study, art (natural light dependent), or writing. In the afternoon I prefer knitting, sewing, or writing. Intersperse cleaning and exercise in between tasks. The results? One week in and I’d say, I like it! I’ve made progress on my Kanji vocabulary goals – learning 60 Kanji between two lessons. Blocking the Japanese lessons for first in the morning for two hours is the best time for my brain to absorb it. Knitting or sewing in the afternoon has helped me through that mid-afternoon slump.
It’s also allowed me a way to walk away from sewing if I am not enjoying the process. Instead of devoting a whole day to sewing like I did in the past, blocking sewing to a few hours in the afternoon lets my mind feel like I can accomplish a project and still feel okay walking away after an hour. Because sometimes sewing can make me angry. Yesterday, sewing made me quite mad after my three of my hems jammed into the needle plate. The hem was driven down by the needle and unable to be removed without stitch ripping and eventually ripping a hole in the hem. I was angry and ready to be done and instead of angry sewing, I pivoted to something else knowing I could pick up tomorrow and I would because of my new schedule.
Balance in Writing
Another motivator that prompted me to reset my daily schedule was the writing ideas I had. I mentioned before that I have a fiction idea that I have tabled for now for a more pressing idea, a non-fiction fashion research project. This is going to be a big project that needs structure to get done because I have not researched since college and it intimidates me a bit to think of doing that again without the access of inter-library-loan. I don’t know how straightforward the process is going to be on my own without the resources and my mentor to encourage me forward.
I’ve started writing poetry again, mainly to cope with big emotions, something I want to discuss further in a separate post. I’m enjoying it. I enjoy how it makes me feel to write for the fun of it again. I’ve been writing for the fun of it more and more. Last week, I wrote two lengthy pieces that could be blog posts, but I’m not sure if they are “done” yet if that makes sense. And then there is this blog, I need to be more consistent. A reset I am after this month is to get consistent and if necessary make a content calendar to keep myself on task like I used to in my digital marketing job.
Sunshine Come Back
I want to paint more, to sketch daily, and I truly feel handcuffed by the weather. This fall and winter it has been exceptionally dreary. Like we get hints of sunshine and then the gray rolls in. Today, it is mid-morning and the sun has technically risen but I can’t see it behind the sleet, the dark shadows cast by the gray clouds, and the racing wind. It is hecking depressing and I like rainy days and spooky gray skies, but this is truly messing with the art. I need to figure out a lighting situation. Once I do that I hope to get sketching and painting consistently again. Either way, Spring will come or my lighting solution will.
Seasons of Fashion
My sewing and knitting waves of creation follow seasons, the weather seasons, and not the fashion seasons because I can’t keep up and tend to forget that fashion seasons are the opposite of what you would think they would be. That being said, I made a big push in the fall to wrap up cold weather projects before December and since November, I have taken my foot off the gas pedal. But this coasting has to come to an end at some point and that is what this schedule is for because I have purchased fabric for some big, ambitious makes and those are going to take time. For knitting, I’d like to develop more knitting patterns and start looking at launching a shop in some capacity either with patterns or finished goods. I feel more confident in my knitting skills right now than in my sewing skills, but I am going to challenge myself to track my patterns for sewing this year.
This reminds me, I need to transfer a self-drafted pattern I cut out yesterday to my brown kraft paper before I sew up the side and finish the garment. I should go do that before I forget!
What I’ve wanted since I started my sewing journey was to be able to wear a head-to-toe outfit of my designs. Now have I technically done this before wearing a dress I made? Yes, but a higher level of skill is needed to wear an entire outfit of sportswear separates, crafted with my own self-drafted patterns. This was the level up in my sewing I wanted and in Fall 2023, I achieved it!
Lightweight Corduroy Trousers
In Trying Something New – Hot Pink Scuba Fabric I mentioned I was working on a trouser pattern, and although the pink scuba pants didn’t work I learned an important lesson about designing pants – fabric choice! I revised my trouser pattern, referencing the dimensions of one of my existing pants in my closet and chose a better fabric. This paisley pattern corduroy is lightweight and strong, with a bit of stretch. This fabric took the stitches far more effectively than the scuba. The weave is different and therefore the stitches did not have to cut through and pull through the fabric as it did with the scuba’s texture. Lightweight corduroy gave me the drape I wanted with the opacity and structure I was looking for. Hopefully, the longevity too!
I’ve worn these pants three times and they are going strong. I’ve even altered them to take the waist and add a zipper fly and they fit excellently. In addition to the trousers, I crafted a matching belt and belt loops to adjust the waist as needed.
Recreating a VS Cowl Neck Sweater
I had a favorite sweater in college from Victoria’s Secret. It was a black drapey knit sweater, boxy shaped, and featured an exaggerated cowl neck that could be worn off the shoulder. I wore it for a long time until I lost it and I haven’t quite found another one like it. I wanted to make a 2023 version of it that bridged the gap between sweater and sweatshirt.
Enter this cranberry stretch fabric that was warm but with a texture that looked like a sweatshirt. I went into the unknown and decided to make a cowl neck for the first time and I’d say it turned out just as I wished. I don’t like wearing things off the shoulder anymore therefore I made the cowl neck opening smaller than the inspiration piece. I added cuffs as a cuffed bottom to encourage the garment to hang in a boxy fit but not ride up as I move through out my day. It does as it is asked. I’ve worn this piece with jeans, leggings, and these corduroy pants and I have to say it’s pretty dang versatile.
The only thing I wish I could change is the few sections of seam where I was fighting with my sewing machine. I had a mishap with a stitch and had to stitch rip the seam. Unfortunately I caught a small piece of the fabric and caused damage to the cuff. Other than that unfortunate event, I’m properly chuffed. These two pieces moved my sewing skills and design portfolio in the direction I am aiming for – tailoring, construction, bigger projects, head-to-toe looks.
To develop a pattern I could rely on I’ve been studying mittens. Different shapes, proportions, and ribbed versus knit-purl have been tested to see what I like to wear and make. It’s been a fun journey! A journey where I’ve learned how pattern development involves skill refinement.
October 2022
The brown mitten was developed first. It was a project on a whim to make better hand-warming devices than I had before. In the Fall and Winter of 2021, I made mittens out of cheap, bulky weight yarn that while soft looked like whales breaching out of the water instead of hand-shaped mittens. They lacked dexterity, polish, and honestly, lacked taste. They were ill-fitting because they were a prototype and I tried wearing them but tossed them at the end of the season to try again. Enter the brown mitten.
The brown mitten had a good shape. It was created from a worsted weight yarn on size 7 needles compared to the previous bulky yarn on size 11. The brown had even stitches, warmth, and potential! I got so excited that I forgot to write my project notes and boldly decided to make the second one later. This never happened. This mitten floated in my cold-weather accessory bin until I let it go.
August 2023
Next, I worked on the black rib knit mitten. Instead of a knit-purl structure I made a crucial error and decided to make the entire mitten, not just the cuff, with a rib knit. Why was this an error? Well, the tension across the yarn was stiff and this made the mitten difficult to wear. It also looked messy because I had to reduce my stitches to achieve that curved shape at the top. When you are developing a pattern you are improvising and experimenting so as you can guess my reduction led to uneven ribbing and wonky texture.
It was not my best work and harkened back to that weird breaching whale shape. Not a fan!
September 2023
The Blue Sheep mittens were a wonderful delight! I picked up a blue tweed yarn at Joann’s on a sale and began making things that made me happy, like this recreation of my Blarney Woolen Mills gloves from the early 2000s. My mom and I bought matching sheep gloves in this color when we visited in 2001. As they wore out we repurchased them online until Blarney Woolen Mills stopped offering them.
I don’t currently have the understanding of how to make gloves so I tried recreating them in mitten form. They worked well except for the fact that I made them too wide at the top and too short at the bottom. I added a piece at the bottom to make the cuff longer. The little sheep brought me so much joy! Unfortunately, I forgot to take notes on this one too, and was unable to make a matching one. I recreated the blue tweed mittens in another batch that I scaled too big and passed them on to my husband because they were simply too big for my hands.
November 2023
The hot pink mittens are my gold standard. The fit is sublime. The shape is lovely and yes I took notes and changed my order of construction in order to make mittens that match in size and shape. I now knit the mitts first, so four in total, then the cuffs, and lastly the thumb pieces. Then I sew them together at the same time. This system works. The proportions are perfect for my hands and have truly saved this study of mittens from feeling like a multi-year flop!
Project Takeaways
Always take notes of your stitch count and needle size to make the project repeatable!
Never stop between mittens, trust me you will not go back to finish the second.
Cute details like sheep or other motifs are kind of awesome! I plan to experiment with this technique in the future.
Reduction speed will affect the shape and potential wonkiness of the mitten, proceed with caution.
Mittens are actually a great beginner project. They are quick and easy.
One Rabbit Riot 