Tag: United States

I’m Sick of the Doom Spiral

I’m not really sure how long this post is going to be, but I wanted to speak out into the void today because there is far too much darkness hanging around, and it’s honestly eating me up. I’m disappointed in my own feeling of doom, and feeling hopeless when what I am feeling afraid of is shadows on the wall. Like the Cave allegory of Plato. I think C.S. Lewis’ work The Screwtape Letters does a magnificent job of adding a new layer to the allegory of the Cave, in my opinion. (They are not directly connected by anything other than my own musings.)

In my opinion, we are living, staring at the shadows, chained by things of our own choosing. The main one I would say is social media, and the 24-hour news cycle, which in concert is keeping us chained in our own prisons, by keeping us distracted. We are stuck dwelling in the never-ending waterfall of problems, and we don’t stop to think or to choose a problem to tackle; instead, we are thrown over the waterfall, and our peace is dashed against the rocks every day. If we would pause and breathe. Stop and consider, you realize that you can either continue being overwhelmed by the world, or you can take the chains of social media off. This thing that so easily entangles us and shuts down the ever-wailing news and its dribble of despair, to seek ways to fill your cup. Therefore, you can approach the troubles of the world with renewed eyes that have hope because we have hope from within. Not the human spirit but the Holy Spirit. I think we forget that we can do that and still care about the problems in front of us. We are not apathetic but proactive. Seeking more than what seems possible from all these voices shouting hate, doom, and fear. Are things broken? Very much so. But when have they been perfect?

The world is doomed. It has been doomed since the fall of man. Even though Jesus overcame the world, there is still no guarantee of a charmed life for believers. This place of fallen things is temporary, for the world will pass away someday. It doesn’t mean it is happening now. We all went through a collective world trauma in 2020, which compounded the daily things that make the world unfair, and it also opened our eyes to injustice in our midst. Just because we are more aware of the bad doesn’t mean that we can’t fight to fix it. But I think we need to do that offline. It’s a distraction. And I think Screwtape and Wormwood have a very easy job as long as we stay divided, isolated, and helpless online. The algorithm forces us to consume things at its pace, but that pace is a complex math equation, not the inner workings of millions of human minds, each made uniquely, that process, cope, and solve at our own pace.

For my fellow Americans specifically, if the Big Beautiful Bill is going to destroy America, I think we are looking with tunnel vision because of our own privilege. How many of our marginalized neighbors have endured far worse over the history of America, and they still have hope and have fought for a better future? I’m not falling for this propaganda anymore, and I’m also not supporting the workforce blackout either. We need supply lines, and we need to provide for ourselves. Protest with wisdom, not with sabotage in mind, because not having goods trucked in is going to hurt those most vulnerable in society, not the Senate or the Executive branch.

Finally, there are so many resilient cultures around the world that we could look up to right now for a reality check. All the countries deemed “3rd World” or developing nations. They are exploited every day by 1st world nations, and have for centuries been held down for the profit of the few. Do those people give up even though this is their reality every day? No. Against every odd, they provide for their families without help. We have help, and we cry poor and ignore their struggles and worry about our first-world inconveniences. We do this to the most vulnerable in our own country, too. Look at what’s going on in our communities due to ICE, the housing crisis, the cultural genocide of Native peoples, and African peoples through the slave trade. We have always had evil running things; this is not new. If America is ruined by the BBB, our foundation was always sinking sand. So don’t give this junk another moment of worry and focus on the big picture – how can we be the light of the world and the salt of the earth? And every day, let’s focus on the solid foundation freely given to everyone through the sacrifice of God’s son.

Sorry that this is a bit of a rant, I just needed to push back against the heaviness I feel pushing down on this lovely July day. Happy Canada Day! And stay strong. ❤

Listening For Wisdom | 2025

It has been a while since I shared any Bible Study reflection posts on this blog, and I wanted to dive into why there has been such a drop-off in talking about the Bible.

It’s not because I have stopped reading the Bible or questioned my faith, nothing like that. Instead, it is because I am at a loss for how to write about what God is teaching me.

This year has been challenging; there is a lot of hurt going on around the world, and there has been a lot of chaos and hurt happening in my country. I have friends and family affected by DOGE. I am unhappy with the way ICE and immigration is being handled. I have been fearful of the tariffs, the executive orders, and the student loan discussions. I’ve been outraged, in tears, and had moments of feeling hopeless.  But I know God is steadfast.

There has also been chaos within American Christianity. There is a distinct difference between a follower of Jesus, a far-right Christian, a far-left Christian, and the Gods, G*ns, and Trump crowd. I am disappointed in the divisions in the church politically and the lack of adherence to Jesus’ message. It’s not about political allegiance, it’s about doing what the Bible says – caring for the poor, not being proud, not creating division, and loving your neighbor as yourself.

I have been praying a lot and listening to all I can to learn and see the world with Kingdom eyes, not American eyes. I want to see those who need help in society and help them regardless of who they are. Knowing how to put these lessons into words has been tricky because I am still listening and don’t feel qualified to weigh in on anything going on. Especially as a white, Jesus following, female – I see a lot of hypocrisy, apathy, and exclusionary entitlement from this demographic, and I don’t want to be taking up space when other voices need room to speak.

The major thing I have learned this year from listening, studying, and my own prayer-filled conversations with God has been to love. When I ask God for direction or an answer on how to help, I feel the resounding answer – love. Love them, specifically. I also feel immense righteous anger at injustice. I can’t ignore it; my heart is broken. I have been asking to see things the way that God wants me to, and that means recognizing the evil being done in the name of “good,” and that is not aligned with the Bible at all. It’s a mess, but one that I believe we can fix if we remember to humble ourselves, to admit wrong, ask forgiveness, and change behavior on a cultural level.

A verse that I learned about in a discussion of the Exodus Way, I believe, or maybe it was the beginning of the City series, was this verse from Ezekiel about why Sodom in particular angered God.

Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.

Ezekiel 16:49 ESV

That verse has eaten me up inside, as I see the rich getting richer and the poor being hurt more. How can any of our efforts be blessed if we are being selfish with the blessings we have?

I have also been reading Galatians. Paul’s writing just nails it every time. As humans, we are so cyclical in our bad behavior, but if we came together in unity and with the fruits of the spirit, dang, we could do some good. I am hopeful with each moment of protest that is carried out with words and without violence, that those moments will shine bright in the darkness.

Hopefully, I will feel more comfortable soon sharing more in-depth thoughts. It’s just a lot of chaos to sort through with God, to discern what is good in this mess of 2025. Clinging to Him above all, I guess, is the biggest takeaway.

Have you read or heard that passage of Ezekiel before? I was pretty stunned by that. I hope wherever you are, you know that you are loved. Until next time, thanks for spending time with me today, dear reader.

Easter: A Confrontation of Oppression?

Something I have pondered through this Easter season, thanks to the Bible Project Exodus Way series, is Jesus’ motivation for His mission and how His ministry confronted oppression in the 1st century. Oppression from sin, society, and the corruption of the Jewish leaders, all under foreign occupation. It was a tense atmosphere. That is something I tend to forget. I think that the Pharisees were petty, and Rome was a casual player; instead of Jesus existed in the context of people who wanted to be free.

The Romans were incredibly brutal. If you have watched Gladiator or Gladiator II, there is a temptation to get caught up in the splendors of Rome, but they were a society sustained by oppression. Gladiators were slaves; any immigrants or conquered nations were slaves, there was a strict class divide, and women were not valued. With newborn baby girls and disabled babies being thrown away to animals, off of cliffs, or sold to human traffickers. It was a common practice.

Doesn’t this sound like eugenics and the practices we saw in the extermination plans of genocides? Yep. It’s a cycle of evil and sin that we fall into over and over again. Same ship, different day.

Under Roman occupation, the cross and crucifixion were a common and calculated practice of execution. Men, women, and children could be crucified, usually by the roadside. It was designed to instill fear and was engineered to be a horrific death, and yet Jesus willingly allowed himself to be crucified for us. All of us, His mockers, those scheming against Him, even those Romans.

He came to challenge our understanding of love through the radical expression of it, taking the sin of the entire world – past, present, and future – on His fully human, yet fully God, shoulders – to pay a price we cannot pay for freedom from oppression.

Jesus ministered to everyone in His path, but He sought out those who were abandoned by the society they lived. Jesus healed the sick, the lepers who were kicked out of society and left to live as outcasts, when they needed compassion and care. Those who were disabled were ignored, but Jesus saw them and healed them. He confronted the demons who took up residence inside people and cast the demons out, ending the oppression of their host and restoring peace.

He gave second chances. There were many times throughout His ministry when the disciples and His followers let Him down, yet Jesus forgave them. Even when they denied and abandoned Him, Jesus forgave. Forgiveness confronts the oppression of grudges, vengeance, malice, and bitterness.

Our society is embroiled in grudges, vengeance, and the oppression that comes with unwillingness to forgive. Justice with an iron fist, eye for an eye. That is not what the Bible calls for, even in those Old Testament passages that are brought up to challenge this – the Egyptians were free to join the Passover and be spared from the plague that killed the firstborn, the kingdoms that were in Canaan when the Israelites did it God’s way were conquerered not by violence. God is a just God, a righteous God, and even in the Day of the Lord is not a God of oppression. We are called to forgive, to be reborn in salvation as new creations in Christ, and to give second chances with generosity and love.

The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen.

And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables.
And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”

His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” So the Jews said to him, “What sign do you show us for doing these things?”

Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”
The Jews then said, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will you raise it up in three days?”

But he was speaking about the temple of his body. When therefore he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this, and they believed the Scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken.

John 2:13-22 ESV

It’s been a daily struggle for me and the rest of us who have eyes open to the oppression occurring in our midst. I am angry. I want to fight against the pervasive corruption. This Holy Week has been a week of me learning about the El Salvadorian CECOT prison, where there are no second chances ever, hearing that Autism is an “epidemic”, Putin launching missiles during Ukrainian Easter celebrations, and my state’s governor being the target of arson because of his faith.

The ceasefire, which I knew was broken, just fills me with frustration at the ongoing suffering and senseless death. Like the Pharisees, Sadducees, and Romans, the apathy for suffering people and the greed for power and money is the “tale as old as time” plot playing on today. I wish the world would wake up. It’s also the tax deadline here in the United States, and I have to say, I am the least confident I’ve been in my adult life that my taxes are doing anything good for my community.

Especially when social services and disaster relief funding are cut. I want these leaders in my midst, and my fellow citizens who are lukewarm like the church of Laodicea, to stop perpetuating “Christianity” as a form tied up with politics and confront the ways that they are participating in the oppression of others and repent, because this week is about freedom. We are all invited to become a new creation.

True freedom. From who we are, have been, come from, or what we feel we can’t be. It is a transformative second chance of mercy and justice that we have not earned, but is freely given. No corruption or cronyism can take it away, nor can violence or tyranny.

If you are reading this and haven’t experienced this kind of freedom, may I recommend the Chosen, the Bible Project, and the gospel of John first? John is so thematic, and it’s a story that will pull you in. The world is a vampire, but there is hope. Stay strong, friends, and know that you are loved.

The Scarcity Mindset of Red vs Blue

It’s been a wild ride here in the United States, as everyone around the world has probably followed. As a U.S. resident the opinions, the reactions, and the culture have been like nothing I have seen before. Truly surprising. What has surprised me the most has been the personal ethics and scarecity mindsets I have observed, from my fellow Americans sharing on social media.

The Roar of Social Media

For a land of opportunity and abundance, there are certainly a lot of conflicting opinions on that statement. Some people are quite in touch with the struggles of inflation and the economy and others are participating in conspicuous consumption. Some are lamenting in blue and some are gloating in red, others are calling for retrospection and unity, but one thing has been the common thread – it’s a bigger knot of problems than I ever expected, and untangling this is going to take more time than I think most people are willing to give it.

There is impatience and aggression. A celebration of nastiness on every level that I am shocked by. How long has this nasty edge been living under the surface waiting for us to notice its venom? How does the simple act of Patrick Ta’s eyeshadow being priced at $42 become a hotbed of elitism and premeditated nastiness towards complete strangers on the internet? It’s bizarre and I can only guess it has nothing to do with eyeshadow and more with a deep level of dissatisfaction in our current world.

Loss of Gentleness

I saw increasing pressure from political ads this year to be afraid of what lurks in the blue and the red. The election is over yet I am still getting ads targeting this fear and exploiting our peace for the sake of agenda. It is maddening and disheartening to me that we are allowing our peace to be stolen. Especially the peace of those most vulnerable in society.

I’m observing responses from people I follow who are letting their fear isolate them. I saw a call to clear out friends lists “to control what you can” like burning bridges is healthy advice for all situations. It can be, but it can also lead to a lot of pain and loneliness. Acting on emotions is a shifting sand. When your emotions change how can your choices be healthy and stable in the long run? There is more chance of self-sabotage than true desire.

I have been a bridge burner and when I look back at what fueled my decisions, it was not a healthy mindset. It was one deep in crisis allowing the self-destructive nature to keep me from moving forward. I’m also not writing this to judge anyone. I’m writing this from a place of concern to keep others from making the same mistakes as me. Mistakes that I wish I could take back.

One thing I have taken from these last few weeks is the importance of gentleness and patience. We are fully capable of living in a community with others who disagree with us if we choose to be gracious to one another and respect healthy boundaries. Not playing on each others’ fear or looking for fights. That’s just plain mean and not how you maintain relationships. That has been the number one thing I have noticed through this 2024 election cycle, is the lack of focus on America being one community and learning how to work with each other in our differences.

Truth and Realignment

I’m not saying my culture needs to let bullies keep bullying or evil take root for the sake of peace. I think we need to kick bad out and leave room for the good and the truth to flourish. What I am saying is that I think we need to pause, take a breath, and be willing to try reconciling. If it’s bad and causes more pain, okay, then we stop and reevaluate, but I don’t think it would be.

I think my fellow citizens are weary and lonely. We need each other to embrace our differences to see that we have more common ground than we have let agendas tell us we do.

Thinking purple instead of red and blue would be a good start. Abandoning the scarcity mindset would also be a healthy move toward letting go of fear. Especially as believers, there is nothing to fear if we fully surrender to God.

This has just been on my heart lately, dear reader, and I hope I haven’t offended you. I’ve been feeling creatively off from the sheer amount of negativity being spread. It is draining as an HSP neurodivergent introvert who seeks to spread kindness and love yet can’t fix the pain of people in my community. I wish I could and maybe this post is at least a safe space to ponder and start new conversations? I’m trying to focus on the positive.

We will also be back to our regularly scheduled programming of sewing, knitting, art, Bible Study, and K-pop content soon. This just felt too important to ignore.

Thank you for taking time with me today. I hope you know that you are loved and worthy. Until next time 🫶

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