small business – One Rabbit Riot

I think the only thing bouncy here is me feeling like I’m bouncing off the walls of my creative box after setting a goal in 2024. This goal was to get serious about my sewing and knitting Instagram account, use the creator metric tools, and learn how to use my digital marketing background to create engagement.

The Focus

I wanted a lifestyle change, an actual commitment to taking this seriously and it has worked. Follower count is a garbage stat on Instagram as mine hops around like a binkying rabbit, but engagement, interactions, and reach have been insightful tools to see how this can grow and what I should be working towards.

Now that it is Q4, um, I am creatively burnt out. So many reels, so much video recording, so many moments having to stare at my own face and body because I am the model, and try not to get body dysmorphia or feel self-absorbed. Yikes it messes with the head. The way some pieces of content have huge runs of traffic and some fall flat must be what it feels like to find the crab and miss the crab on the same string of pots. It’s wild.

My Internal Monologue

I spend time tracking and comparing one piece of content against another one that performed better on a different day or was posted at the same hour, so why did it perform differently? Did I use the right tags? How do I capture the same magic in a new piece of content? Should I use a formula for my pictures or videos? Oh no! Am I one note? How do I mix it up? Was that the right song? Should I create more content with trendy sounds? Was it my hair? Is it because I haven’t painted my sewing room yet? If I paint it a color I like will it perform better or worse? Should I paint it a sad beige? No that’s insane.

I miss the days of making content that didn’t feature my face, or my designs, and was not solely based on my own deadlines. But I hated that job?! Why do I miss the days of launching that Employee App or writing for an internal corporate magazine that was employee propaganda? I think its the artistic blues mixed with the echo chamber of the algorithim. When I get stuck in the metrics and the trends, I’ve noticed I have blinders to the things that are going well. Instead of appreciating any person who takes the time to watch my reels or like my posts, I refuse to let myself feel happiness.

It’s really unhealthy. It’s killing my mindset and keeping me from feeling inspired to create or to write. I’m just bottling it all up because I’m embarrassed of how this is getting to me. I feel silly. And because I am building something, and don’t feel like I have something to show for it, even though I do because it is on the internet. But how else in 2024 can you reach people in our world of technological disruption to our sense of community? So its not silly. It is work and can lead to something.

Wake Up

It’s time I creatively refresh and slow down. I’ve accomplished my goal of making it a habit and learning how to grow engagement. It’s time to shift gears. It’s October and I’ve barely written a piece of fiction or poetry. My artistic practice has slowed, my sketchbook gathering dust. What about Japanese, Korean, and the language of the piano? So dusty.

How about my goal to knit socks? It’d be nice to try at least one before 2025.

So as October, November, and December stretch out to the horizon, I’m looking forward to finishing this year strong and with renewed purpose. This blog is for all my hobbies; unfortunately, sewing is my coping mechanism. And when that landlord said we had to buy or get out, I went into a full-on sewing spiral.

It’s been a fun time. I’ve sewn so much more than I’ve even had the time to share on Instagram or the blog. It’s starting to get lost, all those moments, with haste instead of being shared with patience and proper love.

So I’m going to start. This afternoon I sat down and learned how to play the beginning of Für Elise. Tomorrow I hope to write and to feel free to create slowly. To be intentional with my time and pull my mind back into writing and the things I want to write about in my heart. Maybe some yoga thrown in there too.

This July has been the first time I’ve recognized that feeling of time passing. The year is halfway over, what do I want to do with these last six months to finish the year strong?

In May, I felt like my life was done, as I knew it. Like a video game, I was done, out of hearts, out of health, game over. June felt like an exciting adventure and a respawn of my little game character in a new environment but the same life. It was thrilling and overwhelming at times, there was so much to catch up on and so much to do to begin our life in our house. July however has been this month of my brain feeling like it is in hyperspeed. Now that I have a new space to create, I also have new creative energy. That two-month break spent packing, moving, and waiting, was like a creative refresh and since then July has been a sprint.

I think some of this wild energy has been all the excitement of this month as part of the STAY fandom, this has truly been a one-of-a-kind comeback, but also I’ve been seeking distraction. My mom is walking through a health condition that came out of nowhere and in a matter of a few weeks she went from my companion packing boxes to being unable to do much physical activity without her body sending off alarm bells. I’ve never seen her like this before, and if I stop to think about it too much, I freak out.

I’ve turned my attention to what the second half of the year could bring. There have been so many wonderful things on the horizon, my friend’s wedding, my sister-in-law’s new place, Kyle’s new woodshop, the possibility of adopting a rabbit from E.A.R.S, Shakerwoods, the Pittsburgh Renaissance Festival, apple picking, Pumpkinville, etc. I’ve begun planning Christmas presents for loved ones, trying to be more ambitious than ever to push myself to learn something new in the process. I’ve also been feeling the itch to actually sell my pieces. I think it’s time, I just have to figure out where and how.