Tag: lifestyle

Pretty Sakura. Maybe I do Enjoy Pink? Reclaiming Girlhood.

The title of this post is actually a haiku, in honor of the post’s subject, Sakura. Sakura also known as cherry blossom in Japanese, has significance in Japanese culture. What the Sakura represents is a contradiction, the cherry blossom season, although beautiful is fleeting and represents life and death, beauty and violence.

Significance of Cherry Blossoms

As Sakura season marks the beginning of spring a season that celebrates new life and vitality the cherry blossom’s life span is quite short, reminding us that life is fleeting. It is a beautiful yet poignant message that is wise and to be honest, a message that I don’t see discussed much in the West unless it is through unserious dark humor, doomsday-type rumblings, or in the Christian faith where we remember that our time on earth is breath compared to the eternity with God.

Life as a fleeting concept is not highlighted as much in America. We seem to have a false sense of prosperity, invincibility, and unwavering desire to plan for the future our culture demands we are owed – wealth planning, retirement, endless health, etc. But truly we are more like the cherry blossom than the rocky mountains.

This deep and beautiful concept has sparked my interest in cherry blossom season in Japan and Korea for the wise sentiments of the cherry blossom season. It has helped me look forward to Spring which in the past, has not been a favorite season for me. Animal Crossing New Horizons brought this full circle with the joyful way the game brings the season to the player even if you don’t live near cherry blossom trees. The game envelops you in the pink splendor of the Sakura while giving you a mission – collecting cherry blossom petals to craft into cherry blossom recipes – wallpaper, flooring, umbrella, picnic set, bonsai, etc. It’s so fun and it’s helped me appreciate this color palette.

Feelings Toward Pink

I’m not sure if I’ve ever loved pink. I’ve been a purple girl and I wonder if my dislike of pink came from a stubborn moment from childhood. I appreciate the design and beauty that my mom created by coordinating our third-floor “suite” at my grandparent’s house in a color palette of pinks and greens. She mixed wallpapers, textiles, and carpets to create this cozy and cute little world that I can see now was a little floor of happiness. She put a lot of effort into it. As a kid though, my friends were able to choose the design of their rooms and I was annoyed that I didn’t get this chance, instead of being grateful and appreciative, I decided that I hated pink. All pink. I’ve held this opinion for 20+ years I’d say, which is honestly insane! Past self you were truly salty!

I’d say the Barbie pink and the bimbo and mean girl association with pink reinforced my dislike of this color. It was a color that was demonized and treated as frivolous feminity, and an enemy to third-wave feminism in the 1990s which was the culture girls my age grew up in. It gets tied up with being “not like other girls” something that was an easy trap to fall into in the 2010s. Basically, I took these opinions in and let them inform my feelings of a beautiful color instead of seeing it for what it was, just a beautiful color that appears everywhere – the sky, flowers, fruit, etc. It’s ridiculous to write off a color.

Maybe it was K-pop girl groups? Maybe it was millennial pink? But slowly as I’ve entered my thirties, pink is no longer an enemy. Animal Crossing has provided a way to play around with pink, in decor and clothing. My little character looks so cute in these pink looks and her house is filled with joy when I use pink accents. It’s not scary, it’s not frivolous, it’s fun.

Electra Dashwood’s Positive Influence

I think Electra Dashwood’s style has been a huge help to me in associating the color pink, specifically the light Sakura pink with positive feelings because of how she decorates and styles her world with this rosy shade. Her content is filled with light, kindness, and warmth. It is an example of pink in a positive way. So much so that when I brought a poetry notebook (ahem, very much influenced by her poetry journal habit) I bought a light pink one with cherries that are in the shape of hearts. A very aegyo (cute display in Korean) choice!

In my thirties, I have learned into what makes me happy, kawaii things. Kawaii means cute, tiny, or loveable in Japanese, and is similar to aegyo in style. I have been gravitating towards this kind of style because it makes me feel less like the world is depressing. It reminds me that we can seek the light, the hope, the goodness out in our world. It’s kind of like the fixation cute things have on strawberry milk right now. It’s pink, it’s cute, I’m not sure what makes it bring so much joy to the world right now, but it’s really cool.

I’ve started buying pink accents for my workspace like a pink sewing machine mat with a matching pedal mat, a kawaii light pink dust pan with a winking face, not to forget I have begun sewing with pink fabric. I’ve been gravitating towards girlier patterns and hues, including bows which I credit to the blokette and coquette aesthetics becoming popular last year which brought them to my feed. K-drama protagonists and K-drama fashion have a cool yet feminine vibe that has made these girlie accents inspiring to me. I feel like I am reclaiming girlhood in my style instead of being afraid to join in.

Have you ever disliked a specific color? Have you seen the Sakura in real life?

#50 – Irish Landscapes

My go-to inspiration in high school was this daily calendar my mom had in her office. Each day featured a photograph from a scene in Ireland, and each day, at the end of the day, my mom would bring the paper home and give me the photograph to draw from. Before the days of Pinterest and Instagram, it was a bit tricky to find beautiful images to practice with. There were magazines of course and books, not to mention literally the world around you, but this was a game changer to get daily inspiration. In the 2000s, it was before the supremacy of the touchscreen smartphone with apps galore and fantastic cameras to snap photos in that you could carry around in your pocket. If you took photos for inspiration, you had to print them and it was not cheap. Printing even on printer paper was not cheap and trust me, parents did not like us wasting ink.

This is a taste of what the images featured via a modern source – Unsplash.

What is special to me about the framed image above is that I didn’t frame it. My grandparents did. It was a piece that I guess spoke to them and they framed it and hung it in their bedroom. Something I didn’t appreciate at the time, as a moody teenager I was embarrassed by it. Now in 2024, it hangs in the hallway outside my bedroom and when I see it hanging there proudly in its frame I remember how much they believed in my art, my writing, my fashion sense. I wish I could show them all that I am doing now. I think they would be proud.

#48 – Craft Paper

An item that I added to my sewing tools in 2024 is brown craft paper and it has been a game changer! It’s not only transformed my creative process but has helped me create new garments that fit me better with less fabric waste. How cool is that?

Learning is Hardwork

As with every new skill, the first phase of creating is messy and full of flaws, this was my creative process. You have to start and in starting you are an imperfect sewist, fitting and pattern cutting are tricky and this really bothered me to accept. I like getting things right the first time. Learning to accept that this was going to be a journey, was frustrating at first. I have a vision in my head but I can’t always execute the vision at this stage. These things are part of the learning process, like using existing patterns to learn the techniques and accepting that things are going to fit poorly until I can learn to tailor them. Which is happening! With each garment I make, I can see a progression toward the goal, slow and steady but still moving forward.

But there has been a process I did not expect and that is making pieces with my silhouette and my body type in mind, not just my measurements. Things I want to make may not look fantastic on my proportions. That was a time of trial and error in my creative process that I wasn’t expecting because when you go to a store and try on clothing, the design decisions are already made and you only have to decide on which silhouette you would like to choose. But with fashion design, self-drafting patterns in particular, I realized what was going to make me happy was experimentation. Trying a little bit of everything and playing around with different styles to see what I liked and what looked good on my body.

Sometimes just an inch here, a lowered line there, a rise adjustment, or nipping in a shoulder can transform a project from a flop to a success. It’s subtle yet effective and a skill I see you are only capable of learning from experience, either from your own by the process of being self-taught or from the instruction of more skilled designers. It is sculptural, artistic, and honestly sometimes like architecture or construction. It may be fabric and tread but the same principles apply. The foundation is crucial, and the foundation of any garment is the fabric and how you cut it.

Enter the Craft Paper

How do you replicate a project that works? You need a template, a jig, or a blueprint. A pattern. I thought that understanding the dimensions alone would suffice when I am cutting, but there is nothing like having the template to keep my cutlines accurate for curves and hem allowance. It takes the guesswork out of this process which if you are cutting blind is like a chess match with the fabric and your memory of what you have made before. It’s too difficult so I needed to work smarter and make my own pattern pieces out of paper. There were two tops that I had designed that fit me quite well out of a stretch knit and before they were properly sewn together, I took the pins out and traced them onto my craft paper.

Two bodice types – one scoop neck, one v-neck, and one sleeve template. From this inexpensive paper I have found a cipher to make things with more finesse. A tried and true bodice and sleeve that can be used for tops or dresses. A foundation to build upon that has streamlined my making process. You don’t have to be an expert at your craft to make a template, I thought I had to reach mastery before I was worthy to do this, it is simply part of the making process to make things with excellence in mind.

Fix On

I’ve watched a few creators for too long without questioning why “good enough” was their motto. I in turn also fell back on this type of approach to my designs as I learned because learning is hard work. Striving to be better is not fun, it’s maintaining a critical eye and raising your standards for yourself. In this sewing journey of learning and making, instant gratification and impatience are my Achilles heel. I want to do things quickly because everything is done quickly now. I get stuck in that loop of making more, making faster, chasing after goals, and feeling left behind because I am still not selling my patterns or garments, still.

But “good enough” is fine for Youtubers who have an established brand and following, but that’s not going to get me anywhere near my goals of design. I have to continually “fix on” as Mingi says, to the goal ahead and stop paying attention to what others have done to achieve their success. They are already in that space and that is the path their life has taken, I have to find my own thing and continue to work hard.

I’m sharing this to encourage you dear reader to not settle and to challenge yourself to be your own person. I believe that God gave you unique talents and has a plan tailor-made for your life so fight the hive mind of our current world and do the strange thing – work hard, strive for excellence, and be uniquely you! I hope that wherever you are today you remember that you are special, you are loved, and that you have potential for excellence. No matter what has happened in your life and how gray the skies are above you, there is still hope for a future.

#47 – Goodbye February

This month has straight up stunk. It was a pinball of coming off those allergic reactions I mentioned in #45 – Allergy and Winter Winds, coming down with a cold or a cold, getting better, having an allergic reaction to my eyeshadow, getting another cold, discovering my body wash and loofah combo was giving me irritation, in the form of friction hives, and having to stop drinking camomille to get the hives to go away. I was stuck in this loop of discouragement and I definitely let it live in my mind leading to worry and feeling stuck, basically, like this gif when Kim and Ron switch bodies because of Drakken’s body-switching machine. It was one flip to another flop, nothing progressing, just stuck.

That is life, it kicks our butts, leaves us discouraged, and some days feel like a bunch of little things going wrong are going to give us death by a thousand paper cuts. But honestly, that’s part of the journey of existence. Life does not give us any guarantees that each day is going to be sunshine and rainbows, some days are like a tsunami, and other days are like tripping, repeatedly. I’m thankful that it was only a bunch of small little things breaking my focus, instead of one of those big things that shake us to our core. As a highly sensitive person, I can let the little things swirl around in my head until they are big, shakeable problems that tower over me. These little setbacks taught me something pretty important, I need people in my life. I crave it more than my introverted nature is willing to admit.

On those days, when I felt frustrated and down, lost in the worry of my own head, the thing that pulled me back to the light were people. They helped me remember that I wasn’t alone, but instead that I am loved and needed by others in return. There is purpose and worth in the person I am in being there for others in my life.

It was the small things, Kyle taking care of me when I was feeling really crumby, like asking if I had taken medicine or refilling my water bottle before I realized it was empty. Him doing the dishes, cooking dinner, and making me tea in the morning as I was super slow pulling myself out of bed. Those are huge when you are feeling sick and he is so patient with me. Or my neighbor, who texted me one morning because our Amazon packages got mixed up, remembering she is next door and always there if I need a friend. A phone conversation with a friend, talking about anything or nothing, but the connection of catching up after a while and spending time in that bubble together is such a refreshing reset. Having one of those low-maintenance friendships where she texts me out of the blue and we spend time catching up writing digital letters to each other until the conversation fades, knowing we’ll pick it back up later on. Admitting to my mom that I was scared because she was having complications from her surgery this past summer, saying the fear aloud and facing that I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. A quick chat with my stepdad, talking nonsense but having a blast doing it. My brother-in-law video calling me out of the blue to catch up as we both cook dinner.

Those little moments of community, pull me out of the funk I was in faster than I realized. We really need people. This modern life is lonely. If nothing else, from this month, I learned how dissatisfied I am with the digital barriers there are to the community and how I don’t want to settle anymore. Because people matter and we need them even if we get peopled out easily. Goodbye, February, my relentless gremlin and ironically, the frank teacher I needed.

Skipping Stitches

Skipping stitches, a court of witches has taken my needle by storm.

Stretch knit slips. Stretch knit slips!?

Another scarred and tattered hem.

Gremlins in the machine? I think I’m going to steam!

From my face, the anger boiling in my heart…

Was this project doomed from the start?

Haiku & Breakfast Valentines

When my husband and I first met, I claimed I hated Valentine’s Day and to be honest, I think it was more annoyance at the emptiness of this day. Valentine’s Day as a commercial commodity sucks. The heart-shaped everything, the push to have the perfect romantic moment, the jewelry ads, the lace, and beyond, it’s a lot. It seems fake.

As a teenager and into college, I was hoping for that perfect K-drama boyfriend to sweep me off my feet. A Mr. Darcy moment with all the intensity of a look or a hand flex. I liked being single until this day, like everyone else, and let societal traditions determine my worth on this day. Which honestly was quite dumb because I had better examples than this.

Card on My Plate

As a kid, living with my grandparents, I knew every Valentine’s Day morning Papa would wake up before us all and put cards on each of our breakfast plates – one for Grandma, one for my Mom, and one for me. This was important for me to see, I realize now, with my Dad out of the picture, it was wonderful to see how pure this expression of love was. He wanted all of us to feel loved and appreciated, and no one left out. Because his actions were driven by affection, each one of us was special to him in different ways, and by including all of us it made the day about love, in the fullest sense.

The tradition continued even after we moved out on our own, and eventually, as our extended family grew to become a whole family tradition where Grandma and Papa put together little gift bags for every person – all 18 of us! These little heartfoil bags had homemade cookies, homemade fudge, chocolate-covered pretzels, etc. It was adorable, even as a moody teenager, this little goody bag brought me a smile. It reminded me that even though I felt like a weirdo on Feb 14 for not having a boyfriend, as soon as I stepped foot in their house, it didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this day. I was loved, just as I was, and was special.

Handmade Cards & Poetry

Elizabeth was wrong and Darcy was right, poetry is the food love. Especially if its origins are authentic and well-founded. Like my new tradition with my husband, a handmade card, and a bit of poetry. Now, I requested a handmade card when he asked me last year what I wanted for Valentine’s Day because he is an excellent handmade card maker. He has an intricate eye for stamping and paper crafting. What I didn’t expect but was pleasantly surprised by was his poem.

My husband doesn’t like to write poetry, I do. He has claimed he doesn’t understand it but he does, because he has a wonderful appreciation for song lyrics which to be honest are just another form of poetry.

Darcy: “I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,”
Elizabeth: “Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.”

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

So when he surprised me last year with an original poem in my card, it gave me butterflies because it was a brilliant series of verses, tailored to our inside jokes. Of course, I asked for a sequel this year! And did he deliver! For my birthday, he dipped his toes in with an original haiku inspired by a tradition to close episodes of a certain show we adore – James May: Our Man in Japan.

The haiku was incredible in my opinion, it perfectly captured the essence of a moment which I believe is what haiku is about. I’m not talented with haikus, the syllable work has never meshed with my creative process, but my husband’s eye for detail shined in this form. Inside this year’s handmade gem of a card were four haikus! He truly outdid himself and in such a heartwarming way this new tradition reminds me of those delightful little valentines we used to exchange in elementary school.

Be a Valentine of Four Loves

According to C.S. Lewis in his book The Four Loves, there are four distinct types of love to express – Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape.

  • Storge is an empathy bond that originates from affection. The natural love, like between a parent and child.
  • Philia is the friend bond, it is a strong bond built on shared interests. This is the type of love expressed in friendship and between siblings.
  • Eros is romantic love, the sense of being in love compared to just being about sexual attraction and desire.
  • Agape is the expression of unconditional “God” love, also known as charity. It is a love that is steadfast and exists regardless of changing circumstances. It is selfless love.

When I first studied these in college, these four terms were not what I quite expected but they changed the way I see relationships, maturely and more healthily. Actually, learning about Philia helped me realize a crush I was stuck on wasn’t my love, he wasn’t even my friend, he was nothing. But a certain new guy, a new friend (my future husband) I already had philia with after a few months and eros was brewing.

What is my point in sharing this? Well, this day about love is quite narrow-minded in our culture, and my whole life I think the wiser people in my life have been trying to show me this. Now in my romantic relationship, I’m getting the opportunity to express many versions of the four loves. Ironic isn’t it?

This day of love should be more than just a day focused on eros, it has the foundation to build upon to be a day about extending agape love to others. What if this day was not about commercialism but supplying needs, filling the void of loneliness with random acts of kindness, and to the best of our ability expressing unconditional love to our friends and family? This could become a new favorite holiday for many of us!

#46 – Sewing Studio

One afternoon day, I hit a wall and found a solution in my workout room. You see I’d been sewing in the living room, not because I wasn’t provided the opportunity to have a sewing room, I think I was just being stubborn. Throughout 2023 though, I began to outgrow the living room setup, galavanting from the coffee and dining room tables. My projects were scattered across the first floor of our home. It was chaos. Fabric scraps, yarn fluffs, knitting needles, pins, computer, charger, sewing machine, sewing pedal, notebooks, paintbrushes, etc.

I hit a wall when I felt frustrated for the 1000th time that my sewing machine was bouncing against the circular antique table instead of being balanced on a proper sewing table. I then switched to cutting out a pattern on the coffee table, littered with life and projects, in this ineffective space I cut the wrong piece. In frustration, I realized this was a product of my own decision-making. It was time to level up and clean the workout room for a proper studio.

I think I had been thinking about this longer than I realized, because, after Christmas, I hung up my new bunny calendar and K-pop posters in the workout room, like a future studio. Even though I wasn’t planning the conversion to a studio, it all worked out seamlessly. I moved some things around, decluttered others, and brought the white folding table up from the coat closet. I brought my machine and sewing notions up, including my sewing treasure chest Kyle made me last year. With art supplies, notebooks, and my computer in toe, there was a magic that happened. It was perfect!

The only money I spent on the conversion were new curtains to keep the space warmer, than the repurposed sheets I had sewn into curtains. It’s the breathing room I need to create and the space from this work I need. Knowing I can step away from a project for the night, without having to clean up the items for dinner, is life-changing. I’m sleeping better.

I think since getting married and working from home, I missed that private space, like having my own room again. I can shut the door and escape into my own little world. That was one of my favorite things about life as a single person. It’s good to keep those things, after life changes. I love my life, but I like who I am more with this studio. I am a lot more patient.

My favorite part of this workspace is the natural lighting. It’s so bright and airy, that it lifts my spirits every time I walk into the space.

Making a Pocket for My New Phone

When I purchase fabric, I aim to use as much of it as I can. Whether this means altering the project to incorporate as many large scraps as possible, saving some scraps for future mending projects, or creating a secondary garment from the scraps – I’m in! My recent corduroy trouser project left behind a particular set of scraps, a set of pockets that I chose to leave out of the finished trousers. These made the perfect scraps to make an unexpected project for the new year!

Upgrading My Tech

Around Christmas, I saw an interesting sale – a discount on a phone with an impressive camera and quite attractive collaboration. Since leaving my family’s Verizon’s new every two for my own plan I’ve kept it cheap. I’ve had some bad spills with my phone like shattering my phone camera’s lens on I’m assuming my keys as it bounced around my bag. I also lost my most expensive phone, the LG Voyager back in 2009 by losing it in the ocean. I had it for a month when it dropped out of my pocket one fateful evening and made its way out to sea. The last thing I saw was the screen light go out as it was swallowed up by the incoming tide. So going above the USD 99-149 price range I was a bit nervous about myself and my propensity for mayhem.

This is the Galaxy S23 with the SL/BS JYP Entertainment Skzoo Collaboration case. I got it 50% off from Google Fi and bought the matching SKZOO Leebit Suitcard to theme the inside of my phone to match the case. It is also lilac, a shade of my favorite color purple. It was a delayed 30th Birthday present, to be honest, and a step forward to improve my photo-taking ability for my designs. The camera is absolutely crisp and sharp compared to my Moto Power which I thought was pretty nice for the $149 price tag. Was I swayed by the color, and Changbin’s song for this phone, yes, but it has shocked me how much the camera and integrated photo editing, like the magic eraser feature, have helped me capture better photos of my work on a budget. Safe to say I’ve been babying this phone – I do not want to ruin this one! 😉

A Pocket For My Phone

Because this is a newish phone, there was the upgrade of my wired headphones no longer being compatible – there is no audio jack. This means an adapter, which I wanted to keep organized while out and about with my earbuds and phone. Creating this little pocket made perfect sense!

To create the pocket, because of the corduroy fabric’s structure, I didn’t include a lining. I began with my two pocket pieces and cut one of them into a square and a semicircle. With three pieces, I matched the semicircle together and pinned and sewed the square onto the intact pocket piece, on three sides. This left an opening for the pocket. Next, I sewed the semicircles together. Lastly, I inserted a zipper to securely close the pocket. I love the finished product!

It’s a cute little pocket that is easy to place in my purse and in my pockets, it gives that extra layer of protection across the camera lenses and screen while keeping those loose little accessories in one place. This project has alleviated a lot of fear I had of breaking my phone in my purse again. As a result, I actually pull my phone out less unless I have a specific purpose for reaching for my phone like answering a text, a call, taking a photo, or listening to music. It’s subtly helping me be more present and in the moment which I greatly appreciate. 🙂

I also love the antique vibe of this pocket. It reminds me of pockets that used to be tied onto skirts in historical fashion. I guess this is the next version of the same concept, and it looks like a pattern from the 1800s, 1700s, etc. Always save your big scraps, they come in handy! If I had purchased a pouch for my phone, I’m sure it would have been fine but it’s an added expense that I want to cut out in 2024. It’s fun using the items at hand to make useful things and cut down on my spending while making use of the entire cut of fabric. Would you make a pocket like this?

The Striped Cat Ear Beanie

The Inspiration

Stray Kids. More specifically, Felix’s hat on stage at the Music Bank Paris performance in 2023 and Hyunjin’s striped crochet beanie during a video in 2023.

The Plan

It seemed simple at first glance but then again, new knitting patterns can be a bit confusing so I did research, to be safe. The cat ear is a corner and the point or drape, depending on the structure of your beanie is created by the length of the hat horizontally across. Once I understood that the shape would be determined by these top corners it was easy to jump in!

So I cast on 50 stitches on size 8 needles with worsted-weight acrylic yarn (I’m allergic to wool) and alternated between olive green and teal every three rows. After 55 rows, I cast off and sewed the two panels together to form this lovely cat-ear beanie. Honestly, such a fun and easy project once the ear structure clicked. 🙂 I’d say if you are an intermediate knitter you could make this over a weekend for sure, potentially in 24 hours if you were in a super rush. As a beginner, I’d say give yourself a week and take your time to keep the stitches even across. Sew up the sides and top with a tapestry needle.

I think the trickiest part was choosing what colors of yarn to use for the striped pattern. I didn’t want to make an exact copy this time, well I couldn’t anyway because I don’t currently crochet, but I wanted to use a unique color palette from my existing stash. These colors are some of my favorites in my stash. I’ve found the color story versatile to style with both cool and warm-toned accessories. I think the earth tones help keep it neutral. I love it and reach for it the most out of all the hats I’ve made in 2023.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑