The Scarcity Mindset of Red vs Blue

It’s been a wild ride here in the United States, as everyone around the world has probably followed. As a U.S. resident the opinions, the reactions, and the culture have been like nothing I have seen before. Truly surprising. What has surprised me the most has been the personal ethics and scarecity mindsets I have observed, from my fellow Americans sharing on social media.

The Roar of Social Media

For a land of opportunity and abundance, there are certainly a lot of conflicting opinions on that statement. Some people are quite in touch with the struggles of inflation and the economy and others are participating in conspicuous consumption. Some are lamenting in blue and some are gloating in red, others are calling for retrospection and unity, but one thing has been the common thread – it’s a bigger knot of problems than I ever expected, and untangling this is going to take more time than I think most people are willing to give it.

There is impatience and aggression. A celebration of nastiness on every level that I am shocked by. How long has this nasty edge been living under the surface waiting for us to notice its venom? How does the simple act of Patrick Ta’s eyeshadow being priced at $42 become a hotbed of elitism and premeditated nastiness towards complete strangers on the internet? It’s bizarre and I can only guess it has nothing to do with eyeshadow and more with a deep level of dissatisfaction in our current world.

Loss of Gentleness

I saw increasing pressure from political ads this year to be afraid of what lurks in the blue and the red. The election is over yet I am still getting ads targeting this fear and exploiting our peace for the sake of agenda. It is maddening and disheartening to me that we are allowing our peace to be stolen. Especially the peace of those most vulnerable in society.

I’m observing responses from people I follow who are letting their fear isolate them. I saw a call to clear out friends lists “to control what you can” like burning bridges is healthy advice for all situations. It can be, but it can also lead to a lot of pain and loneliness. Acting on emotions is a shifting sand. When your emotions change how can your choices be healthy and stable in the long run? There is more chance of self-sabotage than true desire.

I have been a bridge burner and when I look back at what fueled my decisions, it was not a healthy mindset. It was one deep in crisis allowing the self-destructive nature to keep me from moving forward. I’m also not writing this to judge anyone. I’m writing this from a place of concern to keep others from making the same mistakes as me. Mistakes that I wish I could take back.

One thing I have taken from these last few weeks is the importance of gentleness and patience. We are fully capable of living in a community with others who disagree with us if we choose to be gracious to one another and respect healthy boundaries. Not playing on each others’ fear or looking for fights. That’s just plain mean and not how you maintain relationships. That has been the number one thing I have noticed through this 2024 election cycle, is the lack of focus on America being one community and learning how to work with each other in our differences.

Truth and Realignment

I’m not saying my culture needs to let bullies keep bullying or evil take root for the sake of peace. I think we need to kick bad out and leave room for the good and the truth to flourish. What I am saying is that I think we need to pause, take a breath, and be willing to try reconciling. If it’s bad and causes more pain, okay, then we stop and reevaluate, but I don’t think it would be.

I think my fellow citizens are weary and lonely. We need each other to embrace our differences to see that we have more common ground than we have let agendas tell us we do.

Thinking purple instead of red and blue would be a good start. Abandoning the scarcity mindset would also be a healthy move toward letting go of fear. Especially as believers, there is nothing to fear if we fully surrender to God.

This has just been on my heart lately, dear reader, and I hope I haven’t offended you. I’ve been feeling creatively off from the sheer amount of negativity being spread. It is draining as an HSP neurodivergent introvert who seeks to spread kindness and love yet can’t fix the pain of people in my community. I wish I could and maybe this post is at least a safe space to ponder and start new conversations? I’m trying to focus on the positive.

We will also be back to our regularly scheduled programming of sewing, knitting, art, Bible Study, and K-pop content soon. This just felt too important to ignore.

Thank you for taking time with me today. I hope you know that you are loved and worthy. Until next time 🫶

Sewing Stretch Fabric Struggles

Do you ever spend time learning a skill just to forget it when you need to use it? That’s me. That’s how I sew stretch fabric on my machine. I just jump in and completely forget that I need to first properly adjust the tension and stitch type or else mayhem ensues. Mayhem like my machine having a nice little snack on my fabric.

Sometimes the machine gets extra bold and drags the hem under into the bobbin’s domain, jamming the machine. This is what I am talking about:

In the moment of panic, when I realize the fabric is stuck down in the machine a few thoughts dance through my mind.

  • Why didn’t you sew this by hand?!
  • You did it, you finally broke the machine you maniac!!
  • It’s ripped to shreds, isn’t it? The whole project might be gone in a moment.
  • This machine hates me. How do other people sew so effortlessly??

But it’s not the machine’s fault and it’s not the fabric that caused this, and it’s not even my fault. It’s morally neutral, it’s an accident and a learning experience to grow from!

As I was writing this, I caught myself crafting sentences to describe the situation with very negative and demeaning language towards myself for making a simple mistake. (A mistake that once I freed the fabric from the machine, I corrected and carried on to make the finished garment. The tight thread tension actually made a happy accident, a lettuce edge hem.)

It is not something that I should hold with such severity against myself that I internally tell myself I am an idiot, a lousy sewist, or useless.

Because how would I respond to hearing someone say that to another person? I would be disappointed in the speaker and make them stop.

How would I respond if I spoke with such aggression to another person? I would be ashamed.

I am learning through these sewing setbacks to temper the internal monologue and be a more gentle and loving person towards myself, to maintain better mental health, and establish the practice in my mind so that I can be a source of gentleness and kindness to others.

How do you speak towards yourself and others when they make a mistake?

Pop Press, Historical Biases, and the Straw Man of Politics

What is historical bias? As I dove deeper into my historical training, it became the elephant in the room of every class discussion and the turf monster of every thesis. It is where worldview intersects with historical interpretation and constructs an invisible wall between historical accuracy and interpretation in our present.

Even with firsthand accounts or eyewitness testimony of events, personal bias, and interpretation passively or actively weave themselves into the evidence. It is inescapable.

Something that I’ve gleaned, with a better understanding of, has been from listening to Biblical scholars meditate through the Greek and Hebrew translations of the Bible aka primary sources. It is truly an extraordinary work to ponder accounts from the past and sift through the biases we have as moderns to catch a fleeting moment of connection with the past filled with as deep of empathy for their pov as we can.

It is fleeting because the easier and more common way we interact with history is through quick and heavily biased source material.

A thesis-first and evidence-second approach, instead of first studying the evidence and letting it reveal the thesis is how we as humans prefer to communicate. But what we will gain if we let the text talk to us. Letting the text speak is similar to the Socratic method except instead of a conversation with people, you let the sources speak.

This does not translate well to our current pace of consuming information. It is slow and requires patience to study and understand the matter at hand from many angles. Therefore the “pop press” way of disseminating information, like the History Channel so often uses, rises from the ashes once again to the far reaches of TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.

This is not to say that only bad history or bad thesis drafting is a product of social media. I’ve learned wonderful details about a vast array of histories, fashion, language, and culture through these social platforms that I couldn’t have had access to at college, because the experts didn’t exist. Dress History wasn’t even a widely accepted specialty during my time in college. Social Media has provided a platform for niche history lovers to share their passion with a new audience. Social Media also provides a salon of discussion to debunk myths or provide deeper context to a subject that was given the “pop press” treatment.

So why am I writing about this today? I was watching a video from a creator who used to be a fantastic source of fashion and film content, a 2000s historian of girlhood with insightful and researched evidence that let the text speak. The original work was so high caliber that this current slump into heavily biased “historical” fashion videos and content that is just politics loosely veiled as film or fashion-focused, has been a great disappointment to me. The creator is so talented, and to see them be swayed by forces that are in our culture is sad.

Not only a disappointment, but it has shown me how important it is to stay committed to awareness of historical biases and the humble acknowledgment that we can’t talk in absolutes when it comes to interpretation. We have to be open to exploring the sources from many points of view and not let ourselves be mouthpieces of modernity, with the clever out of “victors write history” so what is the point of going deeper.

Victors certainly change history and can try to control its narrative, but history is the story of humanity and is bigger than one group’s manipulation.

For example, in my wheelhouse, I am the descendant of Irish immigrants who were potato farmers in Cork. The Potato Famine was discussed historically as just a blight. Bad luck. Not a big deal. Oh well. The crisis was met with such apathy that Irish clergyman Jonathan Swift, wrote “A Modest Proposal” to draw attention to the British attitude towards the Irish was not unlike the absurdity of his proposal.

But now, we know that this event can be classified as a genocide because the British colonized Ireland for centuries. There was enough food in Ireland until the British stole it and imported it out of their colony of Ireland. The “victors” affect history but their version is not the guaranteed final version forever. They inflict death and destruction but this will not stay in the shadows forever, the light is greater than the dark.

My point is that this summation, “The victors write history” is paltry.

So what started this ramble of historical bias?

A video essay about the history of the Goth aesthetic which had random political bias inserted as fact and a lack of nuance to the conclusions based on a clearly preconceived thesis where evidence was cherry-picked to fill out a video that wasn’t really about Goth style. It was about our Nov 5, 2024 election and unnecessarily put a lot of negativity out into the world instead of talking about the Goth aesthetic.

I believe it’s time that we as a society stop stirring up dissension and casual hate in the name of the political savior. These candidates never save anything. They try their best but they are just humans. Is it worth hating an entire group of people because they hold different views? Never.

No human is perfect, so how can human government create a perfect society? It’s a straw man.

I hope in time, the strong political biases I see swaying storytelling in my culture will sour. Instead, I hope an appetite for deep discussion to understand each side of the coin will spring forth. For truth, for the sake of truth, warts and all. For deeper connection. To understand what people believe and why they believe, with mutual respect, and respect for the biases we hold so that we don’t let our biases keep us from true understanding and continue to fertilize this culture of casual hate I am seeing in 2024.

I hope this post is not too convoluted. I wanted to discuss this without saying what creator I am referring to because it is not them I want to critique but the fallacy they have fallen under and the way they are approaching history, politics, and interpretation of these things without the awareness of their personal bias. It’s creating foolish and unuseful content that reads more as pop press propaganda than well-researched discussion, which is what I think they excel at doing. I believe they are amazing and I want to see their talent shine once again!

Bias is such a difficult thing to wrestle with and I acknowledge that no matter how I tried to check mine at the door, it still persists. I try to hold it loosely and pursue the truth, but I am an imperfect human. 

Thank you, reader, for being here and I hope this was an interesting ramble if nothing else. If I have offended you, I humbly ask for your grace and willingness to love others – enemy or friend, because that is how we will make this world a better place.

Being a Gentle Soul in the Social Media Age is Hard

I woke up this morning and was scrolling Instagram to wake up, I was feeling pretty groggy from a mediocre night’s sleep. Acid reflux got me again! Anyways, I saw a post from the Stray Kids official account with a dark square. I immediately had a sinking feeling. After the tragic loss of Moonbin, I knew that Bang Chan was struggling. I hoped everyone was okay. I scrolled down to see the English caption and found a puzzling series of paragraphs. I like many other Stays found this morning, an apology from Chan for his comments during his most recent live on Youtube, Chan’s Room. To be honest, even though I had seen the clip he was apologizing for, it took me a few minutes to register what he was talking about. That is the reason I am writing this, I think some things on social media are getting out of hand, especially for those of us with a gentle soul like Bang Chan. Since this drama was created by K-pop fans, I think as a K-pop fan I should do my part to counteract all the negativity being thrown around and show some love, Stray Kids fam style.

What do I mean by Stray Kids’ fam style? Well, it’s a bit of a tangent, but if you are not familiar with Stray Kids and their band culture – they are one big supportive family. They love “Stay” the fandom name for Stray Kids enthusiasts. They also love each other, showing up in the joyful moments and the hard ones. For example, when I.N., the youngest member, sang off-key at a K-pop competition called “Kingdom” he was so disappointed in himself that he was overcome with emotion that he cried back at the band’s apartment. When the other members, who were in the living room saw I.N. crying in the kitchen they went to him and enveloped him in a group hug, wanting to know what was wrong and how they could help. They are a really sweet group of guys. They are also quite passionate about their work, being one of the hardest-working bands at JYP Entertainment. Bang Chan who is the leader of the group, along with Han and Changbin write and produce the band’s music. He also hosts a weekly live stream on Youtube called Chan’s Room where he interacts with the fans through live chat.

As a fan, not knowing him personally, he comes across as a very dear person, truly caring for the fans. His responses to questions are so thoughtful. He genuinely does not seem affected by their fame, it is one of the reasons why Stray Kids is so popular. That is why this whole controversy is so bizarre to me. Okay with context established, so a fan on the live asked about an event called Music Bank Paris that happened in April, I believe. There were a lot of bands at the event, and at these events, the bands have some interaction. They at least greet each other and are generally friendly. I mean for them it’s literally a work event, being friendly just seems natural. Chan mentioned that it was frustrating to see some younger bands not greet the older bands, which he claimed he may sound like a “boomer” for admitting. He never mentioned names, he did not call out anyone in particular and he was respectful in how he shared his thoughts.

That’s pretty typical of Chan, he is professional and respectful when he shares his opinions. He is not aggressive in his delivery, this is why I was caught off guard by his apology. I’m not the only one! Most of the comments below the apology expressed confusion and disappointment in the pot-stirring fans who created rumors about who Chan was referring to, creating the drama. The fans also expressed frustration at JYP Entertainment for their role in the apology and called JYP out for not doing a better job at handling this when K-pop idols are pushed to do these live-stream shows by the company. I have to agree, this was all blown out of proportion by social media. Just like a rumor mill in a small town, a few gossipy viewers decided to assume which bands Chan was referring to and ran with those ideas, inventing the entire thing. That’s poor behavior. They are the ones that should be apologizing, in my opinion.

Because Chan is such a sensitive person, he conveyed in the apology how much he was grieved by this situation and never meant to hurt anyone. I love that about him, but I don’t think he hurt anyone. I think the random commenters who decided to figure out the band Chan was referring to did the hurting. And to be honest, respecting your elders in many cultures, especially Korean culture is a big deal. So greeting the older bands at events like Music Bank Paris seems like a no-brainer to me just like being respectful and kind. The fact that none of the drama-crafting fans stopped to consider the cultural side baffles me.

This whole situation points to a deeper problem for me, as a fellow sensitive person, with a few sensitive and gentle friends – why does it seem like the people who are genuinely nice seem to be ripped apart on social media more than the aggressors? Do you know why? Cause I see it all the time. It’s why I don’t have Twitter or TikTok. There is a growing culture of nastiness on these platforms that is trickling into the culture. And it concerns me. Why does our social media society seem to reward rudeness and hearsay? I don’t think we should have to respect the mob mentality that dictates that might is right. Social media clout lacks wisdom and generosity of spirit, which are key ingredients that make communities function in a healthy state. Take a look at what happened to the girls in the viral “Baseball Mean Girls” TikTok video, they were doxxed because the cloud of social media outrage descended into their personal lives, although the girls made it right with the woman they flipped off in the video outside of TikTok, none of this seems to matter to those carrying forth the social media justice. And I digress, my point is that Chan’s apology is a symptom of a bigger problem of the heart we are seeing in the people within our societies, and if we don’t address the heart and start acting in kindness and grace toward others when you think someone has made a mistake, we are in for a lot of strife.

Thank you Chan for being Stray Kids’ best leader! The music you create with 3racha and the rest of Skz has truly made such a positive impact on my life. Even if you make mistakes, this Stay will show you grace and love.

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