#64 – Weather Changes and Shifting Projects

I find myself in an October slump which I discussed in a previous post. Last year I was much less productive with my writing goals in October than I wished, and its happening again! I’ve paused on sewing and have taken time to recharge, yet its still happening! I think I know why, the weather.

Since we were in Erie, my hometown has been having some pretty cool temps which has sent me into the knitting zone. I have been working on a cowl, some mittens, leg warmers, and reading up on how to make socks.

It’s been my trend for a while, I tend to focus on sewing fall/winter pieces in August and September to be prepared for the first cool days. Then in October when it drops and I get that first taste of cold hands or ears, I hurry to knit those cold-weather accessories. Like a light bulb goes off. It’s fun making things with the seasons too.

Stray Kids have been going insane with song releases so far this month too with two soundtrack releases for for the anime Tower of God and a third collaboration for Arcane on Netflix. Itzy and Ateez released new albums in October as well, plus Aespa’s upcoming release on the 21st, it’s been a distracting few weeks. Not to mention Mario Party Jamboree which I cannot wait to play tonight!

Currently, I’m dabbling in colorwork and its unlocking this whole world of possibilities for intricate storytelling across the canvas of wool.

I have a few knitting projects I excited to share that were the start of these colorwork projects. I just need to motivate myself to put down the needles and type.

Maybe I’ll do that now? Okay, I’ll meet you back here in a few. 🙂

#47 – Goodbye February

This month has straight up stunk. It was a pinball of coming off those allergic reactions I mentioned in #45 – Allergy and Winter Winds, coming down with a cold or a cold, getting better, having an allergic reaction to my eyeshadow, getting another cold, discovering my body wash and loofah combo was giving me irritation, in the form of friction hives, and having to stop drinking camomille to get the hives to go away. I was stuck in this loop of discouragement and I definitely let it live in my mind leading to worry and feeling stuck, basically, like this gif when Kim and Ron switch bodies because of Drakken’s body-switching machine. It was one flip to another flop, nothing progressing, just stuck.

That is life, it kicks our butts, leaves us discouraged, and some days feel like a bunch of little things going wrong are going to give us death by a thousand paper cuts. But honestly, that’s part of the journey of existence. Life does not give us any guarantees that each day is going to be sunshine and rainbows, some days are like a tsunami, and other days are like tripping, repeatedly. I’m thankful that it was only a bunch of small little things breaking my focus, instead of one of those big things that shake us to our core. As a highly sensitive person, I can let the little things swirl around in my head until they are big, shakeable problems that tower over me. These little setbacks taught me something pretty important, I need people in my life. I crave it more than my introverted nature is willing to admit.

On those days, when I felt frustrated and down, lost in the worry of my own head, the thing that pulled me back to the light were people. They helped me remember that I wasn’t alone, but instead that I am loved and needed by others in return. There is purpose and worth in the person I am in being there for others in my life.

It was the small things, Kyle taking care of me when I was feeling really crumby, like asking if I had taken medicine or refilling my water bottle before I realized it was empty. Him doing the dishes, cooking dinner, and making me tea in the morning as I was super slow pulling myself out of bed. Those are huge when you are feeling sick and he is so patient with me. Or my neighbor, who texted me one morning because our Amazon packages got mixed up, remembering she is next door and always there if I need a friend. A phone conversation with a friend, talking about anything or nothing, but the connection of catching up after a while and spending time in that bubble together is such a refreshing reset. Having one of those low-maintenance friendships where she texts me out of the blue and we spend time catching up writing digital letters to each other until the conversation fades, knowing we’ll pick it back up later on. Admitting to my mom that I was scared because she was having complications from her surgery this past summer, saying the fear aloud and facing that I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. A quick chat with my stepdad, talking nonsense but having a blast doing it. My brother-in-law video calling me out of the blue to catch up as we both cook dinner.

Those little moments of community, pull me out of the funk I was in faster than I realized. We really need people. This modern life is lonely. If nothing else, from this month, I learned how dissatisfied I am with the digital barriers there are to the community and how I don’t want to settle anymore. Because people matter and we need them even if we get peopled out easily. Goodbye, February, my relentless gremlin and ironically, the frank teacher I needed.

Winter Light

A jolt of life. A bright, warm, hope!

Vast blue sky, a wash of cerulean lifts above my head.

All worries, fade. Care melts from my shoulders.

A hope for tomorrow! Truth breaks through the lies.

Darkness lasts for a moment but life springs forth

to sunshine’s embrace. A welcome friend.

You comfort my soul and invigorate my mind!

Welcome home, welcome back, bright, blue sky.

#46 – Sewing Studio

One afternoon day, I hit a wall and found a solution in my workout room. You see I’d been sewing in the living room, not because I wasn’t provided the opportunity to have a sewing room, I think I was just being stubborn. Throughout 2023 though, I began to outgrow the living room setup, galavanting from the coffee and dining room tables. My projects were scattered across the first floor of our home. It was chaos. Fabric scraps, yarn fluffs, knitting needles, pins, computer, charger, sewing machine, sewing pedal, notebooks, paintbrushes, etc.

I hit a wall when I felt frustrated for the 1000th time that my sewing machine was bouncing against the circular antique table instead of being balanced on a proper sewing table. I then switched to cutting out a pattern on the coffee table, littered with life and projects, in this ineffective space I cut the wrong piece. In frustration, I realized this was a product of my own decision-making. It was time to level up and clean the workout room for a proper studio.

I think I had been thinking about this longer than I realized, because, after Christmas, I hung up my new bunny calendar and K-pop posters in the workout room, like a future studio. Even though I wasn’t planning the conversion to a studio, it all worked out seamlessly. I moved some things around, decluttered others, and brought the white folding table up from the coat closet. I brought my machine and sewing notions up, including my sewing treasure chest Kyle made me last year. With art supplies, notebooks, and my computer in toe, there was a magic that happened. It was perfect!

The only money I spent on the conversion were new curtains to keep the space warmer, than the repurposed sheets I had sewn into curtains. It’s the breathing room I need to create and the space from this work I need. Knowing I can step away from a project for the night, without having to clean up the items for dinner, is life-changing. I’m sleeping better.

I think since getting married and working from home, I missed that private space, like having my own room again. I can shut the door and escape into my own little world. That was one of my favorite things about life as a single person. It’s good to keep those things, after life changes. I love my life, but I like who I am more with this studio. I am a lot more patient.

My favorite part of this workspace is the natural lighting. It’s so bright and airy, that it lifts my spirits every time I walk into the space.

#44 – Reset Over Resolutions

I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution girl, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seriously done that or just made a joking one in my head when I was a teen cause I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. What I do like doing instead is resetting my habits and schedule after Christmas. Because no matter what phase I am in my life that week between Christmas and New Year’s seems to wreck my daily schedule and motivation like no other.

Blocks of Productivity

My plan was literally to plan, I opened Google Docs and made myself a table for a daily schedule. I have tasks I want to be doing each day or every other day – devotions, exercise, Japanese learning, writing, sewing, knitting, art, and cleaning. Without the schedule, I tend to fixate on one thing all day or jump around not making progress on much of anything except for getting through my YouTube music playlists. My solution? Blocking my time like college. Spending a chunk of time, an hour or two, the most three on a given task to get things done and keep my motivation up.

In the morning I’ve decided I have the option to do devotions, Kanji study, art (natural light dependent), or writing. In the afternoon I prefer knitting, sewing, or writing. Intersperse cleaning and exercise in between tasks. The results? One week in and I’d say, I like it! I’ve made progress on my Kanji vocabulary goals – learning 60 Kanji between two lessons. Blocking the Japanese lessons for first in the morning for two hours is the best time for my brain to absorb it. Knitting or sewing in the afternoon has helped me through that mid-afternoon slump.

It’s also allowed me a way to walk away from sewing if I am not enjoying the process. Instead of devoting a whole day to sewing like I did in the past, blocking sewing to a few hours in the afternoon lets my mind feel like I can accomplish a project and still feel okay walking away after an hour. Because sometimes sewing can make me angry. Yesterday, sewing made me quite mad after my three of my hems jammed into the needle plate. The hem was driven down by the needle and unable to be removed without stitch ripping and eventually ripping a hole in the hem. I was angry and ready to be done and instead of angry sewing, I pivoted to something else knowing I could pick up tomorrow and I would because of my new schedule.

Balance in Writing

Another motivator that prompted me to reset my daily schedule was the writing ideas I had. I mentioned before that I have a fiction idea that I have tabled for now for a more pressing idea, a non-fiction fashion research project. This is going to be a big project that needs structure to get done because I have not researched since college and it intimidates me a bit to think of doing that again without the access of inter-library-loan. I don’t know how straightforward the process is going to be on my own without the resources and my mentor to encourage me forward.

I’ve started writing poetry again, mainly to cope with big emotions, something I want to discuss further in a separate post. I’m enjoying it. I enjoy how it makes me feel to write for the fun of it again. I’ve been writing for the fun of it more and more. Last week, I wrote two lengthy pieces that could be blog posts, but I’m not sure if they are “done” yet if that makes sense. And then there is this blog, I need to be more consistent. A reset I am after this month is to get consistent and if necessary make a content calendar to keep myself on task like I used to in my digital marketing job.

Sunshine Come Back

I want to paint more, to sketch daily, and I truly feel handcuffed by the weather. This fall and winter it has been exceptionally dreary. Like we get hints of sunshine and then the gray rolls in. Today, it is mid-morning and the sun has technically risen but I can’t see it behind the sleet, the dark shadows cast by the gray clouds, and the racing wind. It is hecking depressing and I like rainy days and spooky gray skies, but this is truly messing with the art. I need to figure out a lighting situation. Once I do that I hope to get sketching and painting consistently again. Either way, Spring will come or my lighting solution will.

Seasons of Fashion

My sewing and knitting waves of creation follow seasons, the weather seasons, and not the fashion seasons because I can’t keep up and tend to forget that fashion seasons are the opposite of what you would think they would be. That being said, I made a big push in the fall to wrap up cold weather projects before December and since November, I have taken my foot off the gas pedal. But this coasting has to come to an end at some point and that is what this schedule is for because I have purchased fabric for some big, ambitious makes and those are going to take time. For knitting, I’d like to develop more knitting patterns and start looking at launching a shop in some capacity either with patterns or finished goods. I feel more confident in my knitting skills right now than in my sewing skills, but I am going to challenge myself to track my patterns for sewing this year.

This reminds me, I need to transfer a self-drafted pattern I cut out yesterday to my brown kraft paper before I sew up the side and finish the garment. I should go do that before I forget!

Early Winter Soundtrack (2023)

Fashion Industry Commentary – Fashion Roadman

Post Vid-Vid Fist Bump Noises – Drew Joiner

Welcome Christmas – The Whos in Whoville

Born to Be – ITZY

Drama – Aespa

Facebook Messenger Calling Beeps – Brother & Sister-in-Law

Whistling Noises – The Espresso Maker

Winter Falls – Stray Kids

“It’s a Festivus Miracle!” – Seinfeld

Mellow K-drama Soundtrack – Electra Dashwood

Hello My Beautiful Doves – Mina Le

Ripping of Wrapping Paper – Sully, the Yorkie-Bichon

Baggy Jeans – NCT

Call of Elk – Keystone Safari

“Ready. Set. Baaaake!” – Noel & Sandi

LALALALA – Stray Kids

Advent Calendar Cardboard Ripping – Alexandria Ryan

Perfect Night – Le Sserafim

A Quiet, Beagle-less Neighborhood – My Parents’ Street

The Gentle Crunching of Cinnamon Sugar – Monkey Bread

“Not-a-fingah!” – The Old Man in A Christmas Story

The Small Beeps of a Package Scanner – The Mail Carrier

Cake – ITZY

Marv’s Scream – The Tarantula

Birdie Celebration – The Wiggler in Mario Golf

Joyful New Year’s Countdown – Animal Crossing New Horizons

Winter Sunset | 01

Yesterday, as I video chatted with my mom a beautiful sunset washed across the sky above my house. The clouds glowed a cool icy lavender and the sun began trekking westward on a pink and orange fire. It was stunning, a showstopper. A sight I look forward to each year because sunsets, in my opinion, look more beautiful against the canvas of snow and leafless trees. There is a stark contrast that doesn’t appear real and yet it is.

I snapped a picture knowing I had to try painting this, and try over and over again until I learn how to get it right. This is the first attempt of many, maybe a lifetime I don’t know.

The process of developing the glow. It was messy, frustrating, and at times felt fruitless.
Finished painting photographed in natural light. The outside light was fading, yet the pink accents glowed from behind, exactly as I intended. It was great feedback from the painting itself that I may be able to capture the sunset’s glow with practice.
Finished painting photographed in an illuminated room.

Styling My Wardrobe: Late Fall 2023 Edition

These outfits are a mix of handmade pieces and things I’ve picked up. Where I live it was a chilly fall, complete with snow and blustery, rainy days which is fine by me because I love cozy clothing. The weather provided the chance to get more wear out of my sweaters and knit accessories before winter even began!

Fall and Winter are my preferred seasons to build an outfit in simply for the textures, silhouettes, and possibilities. I like patterns, obviously. But I like pattern with darker colors which is not the best for those hot summer days when a lighter color is best. It’s been fun to build a wardrobe with a color palette this year. I’ve paid more attention to my silhouettes, particularly when it came to adding pants to my closet. I prefer options – baggy, flared, tailored, skinny, athleisure, etc. Give them all to me so I can play around with a new look.

#39 -Bookcase

Last night my husband and I added an exciting new addition to our home, a rather large and fantastically sturdy bookcase, crafted with love by his own two hands.

It is 7 feet tall. As the pieces began to form the bookcase shape out in his shop, it was intimidating to think about how we were getting it in the house. Not because it was large beyond the doorway or Kyle hadn’t measured and planned the design to fit in our house, but instead who was going to help us carry this?

It looked heavy and ominous. Quite tall. I used to have more upper body strength from working manual labor jobs when I was younger but I lost it over time. I’ve learned that toning and building muscle seem to require more nuance than just practice and I was not doing the latter. Recently when we have carried things, my arms have been noodles, my strength as effective as trying to herd squirrels.

But I was pleasantly surprised, not because I magically became buff or someone else appeared to carry that thing up the stairs and into the house. Wall pilates came in clutch.

See there was an important building block I forgot about where true strength lies in your foundation, which is made ready through discipline. All those I got!

I mentioned in #34 – Shaping Up that I was getting serious about toning my waist for real this time. In doing so I have challenged myself to do at least one minute wall sit and one minute of planks per day. I’ve been doing this for over two months and have added wall pilates and deep-core training along the way. I’ve made my foundation strong by training my legs and my core, which blew me away last night because I think I lifted properly for the first time in my life.

It was all legs and core, my back and my arms didn’t hurt for a second. This is a first! And actually, I was able to shift the empty bookcase a bit on my own. This has shown me that like in everything in life preparation does make the difference. It’s important to keep up with my routine, even when I don’t feel like doing it because I’m busy. This training and discipline have positively affected my ability to do things before I even knew what was ahead of me! I was so relieved to be able to help him instead of having to ask my stepdad or brother-in-law.

I am quite pleased by both the results of deep core training and more importantly how lovely this bookcase looks in our house. He did a fantastic job!

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