My go-to in school, during sermons growing up (being honest here), or even while watching television was to have a notebook in hand and to sketch. Usually, my hand would gravitate first to flowers or stars and then sweep towards the runway and I would sketch fashion designs. I did this from 11 years onward until, I think I started sewing which is ironic because you’d think I’d sketch more now. Lately, during phone conversations, I’ve noticed if I’m not doing chores like dishes or folding laundry while catching up with friends and family or knitting, my hand gets an itch to draw. Yesterday as I sat in my husband’s home office while video calling I grabbed random scrap paper and his pen in order to make sweeping gowns. Why? I think old habits and dang, I noticed my listening skills go up when my hands are busy.
I wouldn’t say I struggle to sit still, I think my mind just tends to wander as I conversate with others, and with the random creative energy swirling in my mind, I begin to feel restless. But as I grabbed that familiar pen and began to sketch my mind became clear and tuned to the topic at hand.
I remember my notebooks in school were adorned with dresses, jackets, and full-collections down the side of my history notes interspersed with a flourish of stars and flowers. When I used to watch movies with my mom growing up I would sketch my favorite pieces from the costume design. I think that’s why I fell in love with Joe Wright’s 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice. I know, that the pieces used in the movies are painfully not Regency Era fashion, but those moments of costume design sparked my imagination as a teenager who loved history and fashion.
I didn’t realize I had stopped doing this as a habit until yesterday, and honestly, I don’t want to stop sketching like that again. I think a new goal in 2024 will be to continue sketching when I watch instead of filling my hands with knitting. There’s a special creativity that seems to come from these moments.
Do you like to multi-task like this? What’s your go-to way to relax?
This is a post of gratitude and retrospect, posted about a month too late but that’s alright. It still counts. I bought my sewing machine a year ago (plus a month) and it has transformed my workflow and productivity while reducing headaches and finger strain.
Sewing By Hand
How you may ask? Well, when I started sewing back in the fall of 2020, money was tight as it was for everyone that year, and machines were out of stock so I started sewing by hand through Bernadette Banner’s tutorials. I kept doing this for a year and a half until I was getting sick of the slow pace, eye strain, finger strain, and lack of structure when it came to making strong seams on thick fabric. My stitches were still elementary and my construction was lacking because the literal sewing process was occupying most of my time.
I’m stubborn and self-destructive in my creative process so I refused to give in and buy one until I was working on my A/W 2022 Collection. I was behind, not finishing things the way I wanted, and downright miserable. My husband who is my best friend insisted that I stop the madness and buy a machine and that’s how I ended up with my pal, Señor Senior Singer.
Why a Heavy Duty Machine?
At first, I was scared of using the machine. I have used three other machines and I didn’t understand how they worked. My mom lent me her 2010’s Brother Machine with a computer stitch function. It had a lot of error messages and broke down. My dad brought me a 1960s Sears and Roebuck machine he found in an attic, it has some serious internal mechanical issues. My Aunt Florence gave me her 2000s Brother machine that has been well maintained and through that experience I got a bit acquainted with the machine sewing process. It was still overwhelming though because I lacked the knowledge to know how to get out of a jam of thread or how to reload that pesky bobin. Don’t even ask me about thread tension or needle type, I was lost.
Through this experience I learned durability, strength of sewing, and lack of computerization was what I was looking for. I want to be able to sew through a tightly woven twill for a coat and yet have the durability to know I can sew for many years. I wanted a machine with reliability that I could count on to not have a computer meltdown during the middle of a delicate project.
Sewing Is Fun Again
A year in, I’m incredibly pleased with the Singer Heavy Duty Machine. It came with a download for a comprehensive user manual and the needles are easy to find and affordable. It has allowed me to finish projects with finesse and speed. In doing so I’ve been able to find balance in my life to write, to knit, to draw, to workout with more regularity, manage the house better and be generally less cranky and frustrated by how my time is being used.
I’m passionate about fashion and this year my desire for the craft has grown. I feel a hunger to level up my skills and create more complicated and beautiful things. The technical part of the sewing process was lifted off my shoulder by Señor Senior Singer and without the space again to get creative, I know I wouldn’t have made as many strides in design and execution as I was able to do. Because honestly, I would have quit in 2023 without the machine. I was so burnt out by the drudgery that is sewing by hand with our modern fabrics.
Thank you, Señor Senior Singer for being in my life a whole year! It’s been a fantastic ride and I can’t wait to see where we taking our sewing together next year!
I mentioned in My NanoWrimo 2023 that I am working on a new fiction idea, a novel to be exact. I’ve been pushing myself to write and not worry about being perfect, to let the ideas flow and take life on the page. The polish can be applied later. It’s been a good strategy so far. I have my intro into the world, a general idea of the setting and the characters. I’m meeting them and their world. I have a clear idea of what I want this story to say and where it is going to end. What I am struggling with is the timeline. I have the ending, but the beginning is getting a bit fuzzy.
Story Structure
In my previous project Udal Cuain, I decided to join the story after the damage had been done so to speak. There was an in-media res structure to the timeline with flashbacks and characters processing the aftermath of an exile. It was a definite form of the story. The plot was handcuffed to certain storytelling devices to make it work. I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want my writing to be one note. This is where I am at a crossroads, do I start at the beginning? Do I start in the beginning-ish middle? How many flashbacks do I plan for?
The other thing I am uncertain of is whether I tell the story in first person and then how many perspectives should I include? In Udal Cuain there was an ensemble of main characters, do I narrow it down to one perspective for this one? It’s a lot to consider.
My Plan
My plan at the moment, to keep writing but not get ahead of myself has been to write notes above and below what I have written in my first draft to build out the story beforehand and afterward the chapters I have. I’ve denoted things I want in separate chapters. I’ve started pausing when the ideas are getting ahead of my mind and leaving a note to add more detail where I’d like to come back and elaborate further.
I’ve started planning out character names, and settings cues. This is the first time I’ve jumped in and sketched out the characters after. I had two whole chapters written before I had to commit to placeholder names for the sake of clarity.
With this in place, I’m planning to pause my writing to sketch out a summary from beginning to end that I can use to orient myself within the story and decide where to start. This intimidates me a bit because I’ve never sketched out a timeline from start to finish before. With Udal Cuain I was uncertain where the story was going in the end and it showed. This one has a definite ending.
Writing Music
I’m excited to have a writing playlist taking shape! Music is such a big inspiration for me. The music pulls ideas out of me and without good, expressive music my writing can be a bit flat. Currently, my favorite writing albums to pull from are Tomorrow X Together’s minisode 1: Blue Hour, The Name Chapter: Temptation, minisode 2: Thursday’s Child, Aespa’s Drama, Stray Kids’ Rockstar, Five Star, and No Easy.
How much TXT is on the list surprises me because I’m not a MOA or an avid listener more of a fringe TXT fan. There is something about the melodic nature of their songwriting that has made me happy and focused. SKZ is obvious, 3RACHA just gets me. Their creativity overflows from the music. Drama by Aespa is a sleeper. I didn’t like the new album upon release but it’s good for getting my creative juices flowing.
Goals by the End of 2023
Create a working timeline, with a clear start and finish.
Determine character names
Write a few more chapters, don’t lose momentum.
Be a diligent note-taker to keep the ideas flowing.
I’m currently working on a big knitwear design project. Probably the most ambitious project that I have taken on yet in my time designing knitwear and fabricating sweaters. It is a sweater coat with varying stripes that I have knit in sections over the past few months. I’m currently three months into this project, and per my working style, I’ve worked on smaller projects alongside this big project to keep me stimulated and my motivation high.
This was my progress at the end of September. I had the entire bodice done and sewn together at the shoulder seams, back seam, and under the arms until the point of the sleeve opening. Because I sew, this process of knitting makes more sense to my creative brain than the knitting in the round process. If this type of knitting drives you nuts, it’s only going to get worse so I warned you. 🙂
September Progress
October Progress
In October, I honestly futzed around with the hood and collar and that was about it. I knit one other body panel so two out of four were done and drafted collar and hood patterns, over and over again. I initially expected to make more progress in October and to have just the sleeves left going into November. That didn’t happen.
It was that dang collar and hood section, that kept me in this place of indecision and design frustration. I initially made a collar with a normal stitch, not a ribbed which looks a bit cleaner. I think I was concerned about the collar looking cohesive and was afraid that a solid collar in rib instead of a knit-purl stitch with a stripe would look less cohesive. It looked odd actually. The stripe was good, but the flat collar which began to roll on the end looked ineffectual for a collar. After I sewed it in I carefully cut the collar away which was discouraging from a progress perspective, until I realized the stitched of the collar remained (because I was afraid of snipping the wrong yarn and destroying the shoulders) and the neck opening had this lovely fit and structure now. The shoulders were slightly gathered up to the neck opening and the fit was fantastic now! It just needed a new collar.
I had an idea – what if instead of a collar I went straight to a hood. I had been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls throughout October, seasons four and five to be exact which spanned the years of 2003-2005, peak 2000s fashion. And you know what was popular during this time? The duster! I had an idea, what if the hood was just one piece of this puzzle, what if I made it longer, much longer, added a hood, a rib trim around all the edges with a button closure! A funky duster the likes of Sookie, the Olsen twins, Lindsay Lohan, and even Lorelai herself would have worn during this time.
I knew I wanted to keep the stripe theme going, something that looked labor-intensive and expensive, like a bohemian duster or sweater coat that would be featured in an Anthropologie campaign. I wanted the hood to carry on that stripe motif to make it feel integral to the garment, not an add-on.
Last October, I learned how to draft hood shapes for several outerwear pieces that I crafted for my loved ones as a part of my Potato Technology’s Autumn/Winter 2022 Collection so I am pretty comfortable with the shape and sizing scale for a hood on an outerwear garment. The thing I underestimated though was how tricky it would be to form the hood as I went, as you do with knitting, instead of cutting the hood shape out of fabric. This kicked my butt. I spent a weekend making one half of a hood out of yarn and it was so cursed. When I took it off the needles it didn’t look like the hoods I had created out of fabric and thread. It was lumpy, too short, and not going to work for what I needed.
Once again, I got my scissors out cut the bind off loose, and proceeded to wind the yarn back into a ball. That is when I decided I had to move on to a new section of the project, for my own sanity. Because I still didn’t know how the hood became misshapen in the fabrication process. None of it made sense. Going straight back into making a new hood when I didn’t know how to solve the problem would be a waste of time and resources. I only have one set of size 7 needles, there was no need to tie them up in another likely failed attempt.
I pivoted to the the length of the duster. To make the bottom have more structure I decided to knit this section in two pieces.
November’s Progress (11/16)
This was a good move. I made the first half 30 stitches wider than the previous body panels to create some drape around the hips and the results are cute. The sweater has this sophisticated little flare that accentuates the waist – I was not expecting that! 🙂
With this step in the right direction, I got to work and powered through the last two body panels and the second flare panel at the bottom. It was a lot of work but only took two weeks to complete with focus, stretching, and snacks.
I have a tendency to let the garment lead me. I like to see how the fabric or yarn responds to the vision I have in my head and adjust the design accordingly to the way the project is coming together. The flared panels at the bottom of the sweater inspired me to pivot again, to step back from the hood and long duster to a sweater coat cardigan that could be buttoned into a sweater dress if I would be inclined to wear it as such.
That’s where it stands now. I began drafting a sleeve and designing the color work I had planned for the stripes before I continued any further because I could change my mind and add more length. The hood is out through, it’s just not the vibe.
When will this project be done? I sure hope by the end of 2023, but we shall see.
The first in a series where I will be studying the rabbit and its likeness through my sketches. This bunny is eating cilantro, listening, and is loafed. Inspired by Netherland dwarf rabbits.
When you walk away from a discipline some of the knowledge stays with you, in the forefront of your mind. You can pick up where you left off, no matter how long it has been, like riding a bike. It is a core skill, a talent, an extension of yourself that stays with you regardless of what your hopes and dreams are in your current life.
For me personally, art in the mediums of watercolor, chalk pastel, acrylic, and block printing are forever imprinted in my brain. What has not stayed in the forefront though is how to make things look refined.
I used to possess this skill, but like a muscle group this skill needs to be practiced in order to stay toned or honed I guess is a better way to say that. To be sharp, one must sharpen through effort and practice.
As I continue to get my sketchbook out, I’ve noticed a plateau and a desire to make the image on the page pop. Something to make it feel real, or call to me from within the composed piece. I’ve experimented with movement and pointillism. I’ve been blending, shading, and highlighting.
I like the highlighting, but have noticed that I am going through my white pastel at a higher speed than the rest which got me thinking. Did I always, when I was taking art classes, defer to white to make those highlights? Is there another way I have lost since I stopped practicing, that I am missing?
What about color theory? I used to mix acrylic paints in this way to achieve specific hues and richer colors that subtly told the story in my brush strokes. It added three-dimensionality to a 2D image. But, I thought to myself, how did I do that with pastels?
And so from there I have been getting in my sketchbook and shading swatches of color. I do these swatches in groups. Next, I shade a contrasting color on top and see what happens. What I am seeing is making me quite pleased. I see depth. Earthiness. I see more natural hues with darker and lighter colors blending in the swatch.
With this re-claimed knowledge, I am inspired to continue down this path of discovery to re-acquaint myself with these lost skills. I didn’t realize how much I missed art as a form of expression and coping. It brings me joy. I feel at home, but a home I haven’t visited in many years if that makes sense.
It’s interesting what sticks with us from childhood, and what becomes part of our identity. Being willing to accept who I am who is not a boss babe but a sensitive creative with a lot of ideas floating around in this noggin. I should give that part of me more time to explore, reflect, and create.
Do you have any hobbies that you have done since you were a child? If so, what motivates you to keep pursuing them?
Some say she doesn’t use patterns. And that she’s never heard of a measuring spoon. But we all know is she’s called a maniac.
I’ve always aspired to the words of Miss Frizzle, that in life it’s time to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy. That is my creative approach whether with thread, paint, or in the kitchen. It is my ethos. I am not organized, but I have flair! I enjoy a good adventure in learning, even if that takes me to a destination unexpected. It was the journey that mattered most. That is why my creative personality has gravitated toward hands-on jobs – campus mail carrier, paint crew, library assistant, switchboard operator, or Appalachian culture site manager. The list goes on and on. There was more freedom to be me, and less pressure to conform.
I do not translate to an office job. Although I tried my hardest to be what they wanted me to be. I stuck it out for 3.5 years in a corporate marketing department, my creative style was highly reigned in. I made my deadlines and was as focused as possible, but it just wasn’t a good fit. Not like cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, writing, painting – making things is such a joy. I think because the process is messy. It is a flurry of creation. And that suites me.
I’ve learned that choosing not to follow the exact directions and recipes for creativity’s sake, can seem odd to a type-A, organized person. This has been particularly evident in marriage as Kyle and I can be complete opposites sometimes. But it works because teamwork has ebbs and flows. In time, our differences have become endearing to one another. I think that one of the coolest think the most extraordinary thing about relationships is that you grow to appreciate each other, including your differences.
In my maniac fashion, I’ve discovered new recipes I’d not tried without experimenting. I’ve also learned how march to the beat of my own drum, even if that is weird for people. I’ve also accepted the fact, that even when I am trying so hard to be precise, my creative nature and clumsiness will inevitably take over and that’s okay. I can make messes without feeling like a failure. I don’t have to compare myself to the Pinterest-worthy images that wallpapers the internet into an aesthetic monotony. Sometimes a little spice of imperfection is good for the creative soul. And thanks to Stray Kids’ Oddinary comeback, I have an anthem!
A little disclaimer: this post is written in good fun. As an Top Gear fan, the word maniac is beloved (and a term of endearment between Kyle and me). It’s not being used offensively. Please don’t take this out of context. Thanks ♥️
Do you ever struggle with bad habits when you create? I do. I have the tendency to write from a place of pain or darkness and think the pain will create better art. You know, that tortured artist thing that our cultures celebrate. I get stuck in such a trap of that. I try to follow and write what I know but then if I am going through a day that reminds me of former pain my mind will get bogged down in that creative darkness and make things that I don’t like.
Everything is Content
Today, for instance, I spent the morning writing an essay about Prince Zuko that should have worked and instead of writing clear, introspection on his character it became a deep and personal comparison to things I see in my own family dysfunction that are not in line with the vision I have for this blog. I was proud of the piece until I asked my husband to read over it, and I became so embarrassed of the thoughts I had on the page, the emotional tapestry I wove, and that got me thinking are we getting too comfortable with oversharing in our modern age?
Like, if I’m not comfortable discussing such a personal and painful topic with my husband, who is my best friend, why would I think that would be a good piece of writing to share on the internet? It’s bizarre how social media has rewired our brains to view not just pain as art but pain as content. Take for example the popularity of the “Storytime era” on Youtube, making this personal content brought in huge views for creators but exposed the private lives and relationships of these creators to the general public. I’ve seen follow-up videos from such creators where they express regret for revealing so much information and the consequences this had on their relationships.
Joy > Pain
A friend of mine challenged me to write from a place of joy instead of pain, and I think her words are more profound than I realized. I think we should celebrate joyful, uplifting content as much as we do emotional, heartbreaking content. Learning the art of creating from a healthy place is far more valuable than we give credit to.
But when I stop and think about it, in this broken world and its 24-hour news cycle, I find myself gravitating toward comforting things. So if I choose to seek out calming and uplifting stories, why should default to making content that I would not seek out? It doesn’t make sense. That’s probably why, it’s my bad habit. And why I am struggling to write fiction again.
Because it takes guts to move beyond the habits and the easy, clickbait-style content and make good, useful things that may not receive the same appreciation but are better for the world, in my opinion. That’s not to say I don’t think honest, truth-speaking writing is always going to be comfortable or uplifting, that’s nonsense. Some of the most important pieces of writing are not comfortable reads, they challenge us. What I am saying is, I think my bad habit holds me back from making better art with my words.
Lost Art of Thinking
Something I realized today after I trashed my draft and saw that I had lost hours of productivity, was that I didn’t lose time or productivity after all. I had written something great but placed the piece in the wrong category in my mind.
For me, I was writing a post that would be shared and would be a useful thing for this blog, but in actuality, it was a helpful piece of journaling for me to get my private thoughts out on the page. Journaling is the right application for those kinds of pieces, it is what I am comfortable with and in writing privately I am not wasting my time. I’m getting thoughts out on the page and clearing my mind for better things. It is refreshing my mind in a creative sense.
Not everything has to be made for a purpose bigger than making it. Not all thoughts have to be shared. Social media platforms encourage us to do that, even reward us, but that is not the whole truth. Sometimes taking the time to meditate and think will produce greater fruit than putting the original thought out on social media.
I can feel how the last ten years have shifted my brain to create differently because of social media, and I’m not sure if it is a good thing. I’m glad I gained the confidence to share at all on these platforms, but I don’t want to be so comfortable that I forget to slow down and consider the thing I am making. I want to make things that matter, regardless of how well they may or may not perform.
Dear reader, what do you think? Do you agree with my thoughts on my creative bad habit? Do you have any bad habits of your own? Thanks for spending time with me today. I wish you happy and healthy creating!
One Rabbit Riot 