Tag: creative life

It’s Okay to Admit You Don’t Like It

A place I didn’t expect to reach this year, was the mental head space of dislike for a dream I’ve had for most of my life. Now could it be burnout and I just need a break? Probably. But I also think it might a healthy thing to acknowledge something you thought you would love, may not actually bring you joy as you wished.

What am I talking about? Sewing. I don’t like sewing as much as I want to. It is tedious, extremely complicated, and requires a level of patience I lack. I’ve been a sewist for 5 years now. I devoted a large amount of my time over the past five years to the study of garment construction, and I realized that it is not my medium, yarn is, and its not a failure to admit I don’t like sewing as much as knitting and crochet.

I think I have known this for about a year, yet refused to verbalize my feeling because it felt like I failed the one thing I always wanted to do. But why is that a failure?

Just because it’s not my passion, doesn’t mean I am going to stop sewing. I think having this space to put less pressure on it to be “my thing” could make me enjoy it more!

Because then I am free to create, to fail, to be a slow learner, to take breaks from sewing when I am ready to cry. I don’t have to feel pressured to get my skills up to par for selling my work. I don’t have to feel pressure to design my own patterns or build a business on sewing. I can go back to basics of what has always been at my core – art. I am an artist, I don’t set out to be, but I know its there inside me too afraid to commit to the bit.

I love what sewing brings me. It’s a fantastic skill to have. I can design my own clothing made to measure and that is luxurious even if my sewing skills are mid.

I can experiement with my style through upcycling. I love how I can recycle and repurpose fabric instead of donating. That is a important part of comsumption. We buy and buy but don’t think about the life cycle of the garment, but with needle and thread you can leave the buy and declutter cycle.

Sewing has taught me to be a wiser comsumer as well. I buy garments that I can’t sew. Complex garments. I also price compare fabric against pieces in store to figure out what is more cost effective to sew. Such as buying a 6.99/yard, one yard cut of cotton jersey to make one long sleeve basic tee. You can buy these from retailers for 35 USD compared to sewing one for 7 USD.

It’s not always cheaper, but sometimes it is and that is a huge win!

Finally, by allowing myself to feel these feelings, my hope is that I will be free to explore and create unencombered by goals of monetizing my hobby, instead that I enjoy the creative process again.

Have you ever tried sewing? Did you find it challenging?

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Starting a Knit Garment

Do you ever get stuck in start mode when beginning a new thing?

Like you’re wandering through a maze of ideas. Maybe it’s the planning stage, too many ideas, not enough organization? It’s weird. I feel such a rush when I have multiple WIPs on my needles. The satisfaction of binding off stitches and slipping that garment onto my body makes every week of work worth it!

The void though, between new idea and casting on a new project, is a shape shifting process. The indecision sets in.

  • What yarn should I use?
  • Do I have a color palette
  • Stockinette or a new stitch?
  • Texture?
  • Colorwork?
  • Do I have an inspriation garment in mind?
  • Have I thought about how I want to garment to fit?
  • How much positive or negative ease should I plan for?

The next phase is choosing needles, selecting the amount of yardage, and gauge swatching the stitches to inches ratio to calculate the size of the garment.

It feels as important to start with the correct amount of stitches as it does to pour a concrete foundation evenly. I think this is why I get stuck in neutral instead of shifting into gear – when you get a creative idea sometimes the final design outcome is a little fuzzy.

So how do I get out of it and move forward with my design? I sketch, even simply shading the colors together in simple patterns helps me see if the image in my head will fit the realized garment. I also start working with the room to frog the yarn and begin again.

That is my favorite thing about fiber art, you can tear out and begin again without ruining your materials. Even though the first stitches feel like concrete the process is flexible.

Do you get stuck in planning? How do you move your mind forward? Thanks for spending time with me today. You are amazing and I hope you know that you are loved. Until next time. ❤

Form and Posture – Canada Goose Study

A year ago, I started drawing geese. The Canada goose specifically. They’re a special bird to me.

I see them everywhere – on our walks on Bailey Trail, at the pond in town, flying over our house, on the side of the road, flying over the parking lot in Erie, and hanging out in the Lemur pond at Keystone Safari. They are my comfort animal, a reminder for me that I’m not alone.

God’s used them as a reminder of His promises in my life.

This is a sketch I did to practice the posture of the goose on land. Their necks, their postures, and the way their wings look have a completely different view from land to sky to water.

I usually rush through my drawings, but today I studied the example photo before I jumped in. I also used a technique I learned as a kid to use circles to mark the lines of the body.

Quick Sketch – Teapot & Teacup

A tea set, one drawn from reality and one from fantasy. A picnic in my mind. Pencil and oil pastel on paper.

This teapot belonged to my grandma and I’ve always loved classic shape, delicate gold leaf lines, and romantic floral vignettes on the vessel and lid.

The tea cup and saucer, is a set inspired by flowers that I would love to own. It looks magical!

Candlesticks

I find inspiration abundant when I am at home, my “home” home. The way my mom decorates brings me happiness! From the colors to the textures, it is a layered cake. There are some pieces that are quite old and have lived full lives before they found their way here. Others have a story, a memory attached that I think of, or a purchase memory itself, on one of our many mother-daughter outings as a kid. As I look forward to the future of decorating my own house, the warmth, and joy I feel being here is something I cherish and hope to instill into the new home we are about to settle into.

Candlesticks of glass, metal, and wood drawn in pencil and oil pastel on paper.

What Does a Shadow do When the Shape is Gone?

Day breaks upon your expectant face, and the birds sing for you.

A cup of coffee and a table set.

Sunrises, newspapers, the melody of your voice.

I’m lost without your light.

Shadow, little, shy.

They tell me to keep going. Chin up, grow up but I still feel small.

Morning is not as bright. The bird’s song is hollow.

What is coffee if you’re not making it?

Little, shy. Goodbye.

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And just like that, 4 years pass by?

Focal Point: A Learning Process in Art

I remember sitting in Art class, the last class period of the day, half listening and half daydreaming, while my art teacher explained the fundamentals of art to my class. I recall perspective, positive and negative space, color, form, repetition, etc. I wished I had paid attention more because I realized I was forgetting an important one – the focal point.

As I previously mentioned in Koala Drawings in Pencil, I wanted to improve my drawing skills by sketching a muse that made me happy and would challenge me. I found my koala inspiration photos on Instagram from the account @gohachi__ which captured images of koalas with so much expression. In my first drawing Koala Scott in Oil Pastel, I mentioned I was thrilled by how it turned out! I loved how the inspiration photo gave me a great perspective of the image and was pleased with the oil pastels for the texture it gave to the image.

I hoped that my second koala drawing would produce the same result but this is not what happened, and it took me a while to figure out why. The original sketch had positive and negative space, and form, and had a focal point – the koala crawling across the main limb of the tree. But, once I added color through my oil pastels, the focal point became murky.

Now is this because I used the wrong medium to add color? Possibly. Or it could be that there are so many details in the original photo and I let those details distract from the focal point of the drawing. Art and photography are related, but different. They are mediums of expression that capture moments but in different ways. Photography creates a scene or captures a moment in time, whereas art can live in a world of imagination. When we look at art it gives us an illusion, connects to an emotion, and gives us an impression of a moment. It’s not a one-for-one match-up. I realized my mistake was that I forgot to think like an artist, instead, I focused on replicating the image which is not going to provide the same emotive qualities that good art does! In my Koala Scott drawing, replicating the koala was the right move because the focal point was clear.

The photograph I used was zoomed in and focused on the koala and its expression. I could let the background fade out of focus and let the koala’s emotions and communication be the star. But the koala crawling across the limb, framed with smaller branches, added clutter to the image. As a photograph, it works because the composition is made for it. As a sketch it was fine, but as a piece of art with color and texture it falls flat. I’m not satisfied with it.

Final Thoughts

As a perfectionist, I hate making mistakes, but as a student, I know that making mistakes is an opportunity to learn! Comparing the two finished drawings I can see how I can improve and that’s exciting.

I think we should be more open to looking at our work, mistakes and all, and look at what went right and what we can improve on. It doesn’t mean we have failed. Learning is messy but practice is how we grow so don’t give up if you’re frustrated with your progress on a skill. Growing takes time. Don’t compare yourself to others, judge your work by your past work and see how you have grown! I hope this encourages you to keep trying and keep growing in whatever endeavors you are embarking on. You got this! ❤

Sorry, I have been a bit absent on here for the last two weeks. I can’t wait until I can explain why I have been distracted because it is a really good story. Thanks for taking time with me dear reader and I wish you a wonderful weekend. Until next time 🙂

Making a Star Plush by Knitting

To continue my 2024 yarn stash-busting, I got a little creative with my process. I present this little mint-colored star! I’m so proud of her. I made this intending to make multiple stars to decorate my new noise-canceling headphones.

I didn’t have high hopes when I started this project because well, I don’t see many small objects being created through knit, it’s usually crochet. But I decided to give the technique a go, why not?

It turned out to be a fun little project that gives me joy each time I look at it. To start, I cast on one stitch, next row expand to two, next three, then four, and onto five. I knit another row of five and began reducing. I reduced one stitch on each row until I was back to one. Time to cast off.

You are left with a diamond. I made four more of these diamonds. Next, it was time to sew them together into a star shape. I joined the ends at the center and anchored the edges together to make the star. I repeated the entire process until I had two stars.

Finally, I sewed them together, with the sewing sides on the inside, and finished sides out. It actually worked! It even looked like my crochet reference photo!

Koala Scott in Oil Pastel

I finished my koala portrait from Koala Drawings in Pencil in a new medium, well a new old medium, a medium I haven’t used in 10 years, oil pastel! I forgot how good oil pastels are for color payoff and texture without being messy like chalk pastels or watercolors. I felt in control of the pigment while being able to direct shadows and highlights over the piece. I’m hooked!

This koala was inspired by a photo I found on Instagram from a creator with the handle @hidenoritsuzuki. Why was this image so special to me? The hand posture and facial expression reminded me so much of my stepdad and his favorite goofy way to feign exasperation. It was the hand! Totally brightened my day. 🙂

#50 – Irish Landscapes

My go-to inspiration in high school was this daily calendar my mom had in her office. Each day featured a photograph from a scene in Ireland, and each day, at the end of the day, my mom would bring the paper home and give me the photograph to draw from. Before the days of Pinterest and Instagram, it was a bit tricky to find beautiful images to practice with. There were magazines of course and books, not to mention literally the world around you, but this was a game changer to get daily inspiration. In the 2000s, it was before the supremacy of the touchscreen smartphone with apps galore and fantastic cameras to snap photos in that you could carry around in your pocket. If you took photos for inspiration, you had to print them and it was not cheap. Printing even on printer paper was not cheap and trust me, parents did not like us wasting ink.

This is a taste of what the images featured via a modern source – Unsplash.

What is special to me about the framed image above is that I didn’t frame it. My grandparents did. It was a piece that I guess spoke to them and they framed it and hung it in their bedroom. Something I didn’t appreciate at the time, as a moody teenager I was embarrassed by it. Now in 2024, it hangs in the hallway outside my bedroom and when I see it hanging there proudly in its frame I remember how much they believed in my art, my writing, my fashion sense. I wish I could show them all that I am doing now. I think they would be proud.

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