Breakfast Table Wisdom

Q: Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

A: PROVERBS 3:5-6

At the breakfast table, on my placemat next to a bowl of cereal and a glass of juice, Papa would leave half a banana. I’m not sure when this tradition started but each morning, he would split a banana with me. He was always willing to share anything he had with me, including wisdom.

By the time I wandered downstairs, sleepy-eyed and wishing it was still night, my chipper, morning-person Papa would be done with his breakfast and reading the paper. Waiting for me. Never waiting in impatience, waiting in such a warm and mentoring way. He wanted to know what was on my mind, was there a test at school that day to pray for or an event with friends that I was looking forward to? He took the job of raising me, as a substitute dad very seriously.

Around that breakfast table, Papa would prepare me for the day ahead not just with food but with cultivating a wise mindset. Before he ate breakfast, while I was still sleeping, he and Grandma would do their morning Bible study together. It was a ritual that as an adult my husband and I try to emulate. It was from this time with the Lord that I understand how Papa had so much wisdom to pour into me at those breakfast chats.

Lean Not, On Your Own Understanding

A verse that has become my favorite, a nugget of wisdom that I seek to live by, is Proverbs 3:5-6. It was a verse that came up often at those morning meals, so much so that I memorized the verses simply by hearing this piece of wisdom over and over throughout the years.

As a child, I absorbed it but did not understand it. As a teen I scoffed at it, in college I ignored it, and as a floundering young adult, I clung to it.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

I thought it was just a bunch of rules, another way to feel like I had no agency in my life and so as a hubris-filled teen I didn’t want to submit my way to God’s way. “I am the master of my fate,  I am the captain of my soul.” William Earnest Henley writes in his poem, Invictus. As young people, I think we are so keen to believe the world stretches out before us. We are told that by media, secular books, and movies. I think we believe it because it makes us feel powerful and less overwhelmed by the future that awaits us. Because we don’t know the future, we can only guess what tomorrow will bring. We are not in control at all. And when the world knocks you down, and changes the path you chose to a path that fails you, being the master of your fate rings hollow.

The illusion of being in control makes you realize how small you really are. The individualistic culture of the United States sells you a false promise of control that living for yourself and pursuing what’s best for you above all will bring you ultimate happiness. It directly contradicts what Papa was teaching me with our morning chats, and pulled me into a path that was not straight, but twisty and shadowed. As a chronic overthinker, Proverbs 3:5-6 didn’t appear to me as the safer option because in its message it challenges you to drop your worries at the feet of the Lord and rely on Him to give you directions on where you should go.

As an overthinker, the process calms me down not the result, thinking and obsessing about what to do next keeps my mind busy, and so I misbelieve this is the way to peace. When indeed, as someone who now strives to live according to Proverbs 3:5-6, the cycle of overthinking is just a distraction. It is not peaceful or profitable.

Don’t Try to Figure Everything Out

What has made me feel strong in those weak moments has surprisingly enough been submitting to the Lord and not leaning on my own understanding; because I learned over a string of mistakes that my understanding is flawed. I’ve learned that I play a short game while God is playing the long one. He is playing chess while I’m playing checkers. I simply cannot perceive all He has in store for me. And unless I get out of God’s way and let Him lead me, I’m going to miss out on His will and His process, like being at peace in the middle of uncertainty.

My grandma, like me, was an overthinker, at times a bit of a control freak like myself. She struggled with submitting her concerns and desires to God, but when should tell me about her struggles she would bring up Proverbs 3:5-6 and I believe she was reminding me as much as she was reminding herself. Papa was a worrier, which I struggle with. I see now that He was probably passing this verse down to me because He could see my penchant to worry and wanted to give me a tool to thrive when worry washed over me.

At the time, I thought He was just putting a challenge in front of me, but now I see he was instilling godly wisdom around that breakfast table. I see now that as much as Proverbs 3:5-6 was for being brought up for me at those breakfast chats, it was a reminder for Grandma and Papa too. When the time came to learn how to keep living without Papa, Grandma and I clung to Proverbs 3:5-6. I even have a few voicemails from her reminding herself and myself not to try to figure everything out but to lean on the Lord for guidance.

Now that she is gone too, I have wondered who is going to remind me? When I am feeling stuck, wishing I could ask either Papa or Grandma for advice, I have worried about who will keep me directed on the right path in those key moments? Ironically enough, I am forgetting who said those words of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the first place. The Lord. And the Lord has reminded me when I am stuck. He replays His words of wisdom in my mind. Because He is such a comforting and loving God He reminds me in such a dear way. I hear Papa’s wisdom at the breakfast table, and Grandma’s reminders when it gets tough, the memories of their voices saying to rely on the Lord for He will make your paths straight.

This is why I live by this quote. What quote do you live by? Did a mentor instill in you, wisdom that you still rely on today? Have you had the chance to mentor and pass wisdom down to others?

Kindness in the Culture

I felt challenged by the Lord in 2023 to get to know the unknown parts of His word. The sections of the Bible make us say, “Is that a book of the Bible?” At least in North America, the minor prophets of the Old Testament, are a group that are skipped over for sermons. You don’t get fed from this book, instead, sermons seem to focus on the “seeker-friendly” sections of the Bible, the gospels, and some New Testament epistles for good measure.

I don’t mean to sound cynical but I went to a Christian school, and a Christian college, and have been in the church for most of my life – that’s a lot of opportunity to have learned about the entire Bible, but the whole book wasn’t taught. This frustrates me. I don’t feel properly prepared for a complete reading of the Bible, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. Which posed a problem when I decided to read Obadiah, mainly what does this book mean? What does this story refer to? And who is Edom?!

Thankfully resources like the Bible Project exist! They have a terrific guide to the Book of Obadiah along with a video summary that provided historical context that helped me understand why this book matters. Here’s what God revealed to me through my reading and study of the book.

In short, Obadiah addresses a shameful part of human behavior, yet it is something we have all experienced – when a prideful person hurts someone who is struggling, because the proud person believes they are better than the struggling person, and therefore takes advantage of that person for their own gain. Exploiting your opponent’s weakness, in strategic terms. In a social and economic context, this would be corruption and discrimination being used to exploit a group of people who have been kept from opportunities. In a personal context, hurting your neighbor instead of helping them or reveling in the pain of others because you believe you are better than them. Obadiah applies to life!

The book of Obadiah says a lot in just twenty-one verses. It is full of family history and dysfunction! The people of Judah and the people of Edom share a common relative – Isaac, the son of Abraham and Sarah. For this story, you have to go all the way back to Genesis 25-27. Isaac and Rebekah had two sons, Jacob and Esau. There is major sibling rivalry, ending in bitterness, family dysfunction and Jacob being favored over Esau because Esau traded his birthright blessing for a bowl of soup. Esau’s anger towards Jacob does not end there. Jacob becomes the nation of Israel and Esau’s descendants become the nation of Edom, their bitterness for each other carries on through generations.

Hundreds of years later, the Israelites are conquered by Assyria and Babylon. Israel the Northern Kingdom is destroyed and taken into exile by Assyria, and Judah the Southern Kingdom is conquered by Babylon and taken into exile. When Babylon comes to conquer Judah, Edom in their resentment for Judah sees this as a time to celebrate the destruction of their brother and gets a few punches in for themselves.

While Judah is being rampaged and the people are being killed or carried off in chains, the people of Edom decided to get a little gloating in. They come to the land of Judah and do some pillaging of their own, they celebrate the destruction and even take advantage of Judah’s refugees, going so far as to kill them.

Not a pretty legacy for Edom, but before we judge, how often have we as humans celebrated someone else’s misfortunes? Especially in the age of social media, how easy is it to join the hater bandwagon? I mean it’s just a comment, right? It’s anonymous, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not hurting anyone – or is it? What about in our day-to-day lives? I’ve been jealous, and guilty of finding joy in the struggle of others when I believe they have wronged me. It’s human nature and is so easy to do. Even easy to hide from others because if it is an internal thought, who is going to know? Obadiah reminds us that God does see it and He does know.

I thought about this today as I learned about the Tik-Tok “baseball mean girls” trend that involves photo bombing a person taking a selfie at a baseball game so that you are flipping them off in the background. It’s just plain rude and reminds me of what I read in Obadiah. I think we could make a huge difference in our culture with simple actions like pausing to think through our actions. Is flipping someone off in the background of a photo a kind thing to do? Obviously no. Is there a better way to handle yourself? Yes. But do we all make the right choices all the time, no we do not and we take jokes too far. We hurt people.

But do not gloat over the day of your brother
    in the day of his misfortune;
do not rejoice over the people of Judah
    in the day of their ruin;
do not boast
    in the day of distress.
Do not enter the gate of my people
    in the day of their calamity;
do not gloat over his disaster
    in the day of his calamity;
do not loot his wealth
    in the day of his calamity.
 Do not stand at the crossroads
    to cut off his fugitives;
do not hand over his survivors
    in the day of distress.

Obadiah 12-14 ESV

So, what do we do with that? I mean I feel guilty for the personal ways I have hurt people. Even worse I have held onto grudges. I am ashamed to see myself in the reflection of Edom. In verse 15, the tone changes from Obadiah referencing Edom to all nations, “For the day of the Lord is near upon all the nations. As you have done, it shall be done to you; your deeds shall return on your own head.” Yikes! That is scary to think about. I don’t want people to treat me the way I have treated them. I used to have a bad temper, and it hurt people. Feeling the return on that would be horrible. So, how do you move forward without fear or guilt?

What I have found the most peace in is asking God for forgiveness and changing my attitude, especially in the ways I handle grudges. Seek kindness. Be different than the aggression that you see in the world, and forgive others who fail at keeping their bad behavior in check. I am currently on a journey to learning how to forgive – it is not easy. All of it is God, I just have to ask for His help to show me. It can sometimes feel unnatural to our human minds to forgive, but it is freeing. Oh so freeing.

To unpack verse 15 a bit more, I found hope in reading this verse. I thought about all the evil in this world. The ways people are taken advantage of systematically. I thought about racism, human trafficking, colonialism, genocide, dictators, and censorship. In this world of AI and big brother surveillance, big tech companies seem like behemoths above the law. Yet it all comes crashing down when you read verse 15. God sees it. God knows what is happening in the shadows and His justice will hold it accountable in His time. Evil deeds will not slip through the cracks forever.

The more I read the backstory of Obadiah, the more I wondered what would happen if the whole Bible was being taught? I considered the ways in which the church has allowed itself to be corrupted by the culture and what would happen if the health and wealth gospel was laid to rest and the wisdom of these unknown books like Obadiah colored our understanding of Christianity instead of prosperity. It is something to think about.

If you made it this far, thank you for allowing me to share what God revealed to me through my study of Obadiah. I hope you have a lovely day. ❤

#20 – A Beethoven Milestone

When I moved to coastal Georgia, it was a big, unknown kind of step. New family, new culture, new job description, new kind of humidity I’d only heard of. It was disorienting at times, exhilarating at others. Yet it made me perceive what really made me feel at home. I realized it was a piano. No really, a piano.

Life of a Piano Teacher’s Kid

When I was very little my mom and I moved in with my grandparents, at the time my grandma was a full-time piano teacher. My grandma’s living room had not one but two pianos – an upright piano and a grand piano. Due to wear and tear, the two consolidated down to one new grand piano that filled the house with music from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm during the week. My breakfast routine included the broken melodies of piano lessons and a bowl of cereal. At the time, I would grow tired of the piano music, but as an adult, I look back on those days with fondness.

Something that I think is interesting, is that before I left for Georgia, my grandma gave me my old piano lesson books that she kept from my failed lessons in 2nd grade. I thought that was really sweet, and I think a bit of comfort from the Lord because I did not anticipate how hard homesickness was going to hit 6 weeks into my new life. I was all settled into a nice apartment and little community, a new church, and a new side of the family to hang out with, yet bam I was thrown into this wave of sadness.

I felt like part of me was missing. For some reason, those piano lessons came to my mind and, all I wanted was to hear the piano music again.

I would say before this point I appreciated classical music but it wasn’t a regular rotation within my Spotify profile, it then became my comfort music with Claire Hwangci’s Rachmaninoff Preludes album being one of my favorites. My grandma used to play Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Brahms, and Beethoven. Moonlight Sonata was one of her favorites. Since then I’ve been determined to learn piano, one day. The problem was the keyboard I had access to was pretty busted, with a whole octave not registering noise when I tried to play.

Grandma encouraged me to keep going even if my keyboard was not great, she was thrilled that I felt the call back to music lessons.

We eventually moved back to Pennsylvania, and as the ebb and flow of my time changed, I had a lot more time to practice in my new routine. The problem was I lacked discipline and was a lazy student. Instead of seeking to learn musical theory again, I went to my Pinterest and YouTube feed, to find quick learning techniques. Watered down piano guides and on Pinterest, I literally found pins that were just the notes in sequence. I learned a watered-down version of Hedwig’s Theme, The Phantom of the Opera Overture, and Jurassic Park. It was a good way to gain quick satisfaction, and it was a blast to hear the piano music again.

It filled my heart a bit fuller again when I felt empty.

The Yamaha P-45

Fast forward to 2023, I had let the broken keyboard go and was keeping my eye out for a used free piano on Craigslist, but truly my current rental is too small to accommodate such an instrument. But something really cool happened, Kyle found a music shop nearby and encouraged us to go. He was on the hunt for an electric guitar. The music shop was incredible. It smelled like all the piano shops I had gone to with my grandma as a kid. A flood of memories came back, warmth deep in my heart. With great surprise, they carried something that would make me feel reconnected with my past – a digital piano with weighted keys that felt the same as my grandma’s grand piano!

Since she passed away in December 2022, I’ve felt a bigger emptiness in my heart. A vast homesickness that can’t be solved until I move on from this world. But, when I put my hand on those keys, the expanse felt a bit smaller. Have you ever felt that way? It’s this pure bliss of memory that is like a big hug to your weary heart.

There is one elephant in the room, pianos even digital ones are quite expensive.

Like, it’s not an impulse purchase. But that is where another principal comes in – delayed gratification. Over several months and previous months of careful saving, we were able to purchase the digital piano and stand. Through the process of waiting, saving, and dreaming, I was primed and ready to dive in and be a committed student. This was not going to be a repeat of my previous tries, I even bought a piano theory book!

To my surprise, all those mornings of eating breakfast to the accompaniment of piano lessons, some of those lessons stuck.

The book is teaching me musical theory, treble and bass clef, and how to read music – the foundation. And the foundation is jogging my memory to all the little techniques my grandma used. How to navigate the guide notes, how to skip thirds, and to make sure to not play by ear but truly understand the technique of what I am doing, and have good form with my fingers. Although sometimes I get sad that she doesn’t get to know this part of me, through my memories, I feel as though I am still getting to do this with her.

Crescendo

Sunday I felt the peak of my piano success, a real milestone. I have been diligently playing through my lesson book, learning and repeating the instructional songs, even if I feel like I know them. I want to remember and have the skills not hubris. And so, to begin my lesson I went back a few pages, as I do. I played through the French Minuet sample, a bit of Mozart samples, onto Home on the Range, through a taste of bass clef practice. Moving to the understanding of C Pentascale, on to let’s play hands together up to a bigger octave. I am so engrossed in my lesson that I begin to play a familiar tune without stopping to see what it was. I moved on to this song, not thinking much of it because I’m learning here, really getting it and somehow I am playing hands together! With a rhythm and respect to the time signature, who are these hands? But my hands, are uncoordinated and frustrating! They don’t do this, right?

I feel the same thrill that came when I drove our standard transmission for the first time in top gear. It feels good.

Then I stopped to notice, hey, this is my first Beethoven piece.

A simplified version of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9, Ode to Joy or the Hymn ‘Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee’ depending on your context. What a milestone! I wanted to learn how to play the piano, with theory and discipline, and learn not a popular tune but a classic. In that moment I understood why good things take time. It is a craft. It cannot be rushed.

I look forward to my next piano milestone!

Sewing the 1890s Aesthetic

Red Dead Redemption 2 was not a game I thought I would love or even appreciate. In fact, I’ve never played it myself, I’ve only watched my husband play, and seriously, I enjoy watching him play. The world created in the second game is so immersive and aesthetically pleasing that my dress historian heart sings when I see the detail and research the developers put into making Arthur Morgan and the cast of characters feel well-placed in a game of re-imagined history.

The 1890s have long been a favored period for me. From the popularity of the Gibson Girl look to the Anne of Green Gables movies, puff sleeves, bicycle jackets, and the pigeon breast silhouette with long walking skirts have long captured my imagination. Maybe it was the years of seeing these portraits of my 1890s ancestors above the mantel at my grandparents’ house. Or this Gibson Girl-inspired painting in my Grandma’s bedroom. It made an impact on my appreciation for this time period and design aesthetic.

There is such a quintessential Victorian-ness about it. But also this aura of possibility. The world was changing rapidly during this time through industrialization the Gilded Age brought splendor and wonder. The Arts and Crafts Movement was at its height which is why I think I am so drawn to this style. Arts and Crafts era houses are among my favorite styles of architecture, bringing forth the Craftsman style along with Frank Lloyd Wright’s prairie style. Maybe it was growing up in an old Victorian house too?

And so this game, Red Dead Redemption 2 with its 1899 time stamp and varied styles of architecture has brought me so much joy and comfort. Even the Bayou Nwa of Lemoyne is a delightful reminder of my time living in coastal Georgia. Especially the alligators, which seemed to lurk in every body of water. But those cypress trees still call, like the delightful menswear of Arthur Morgan’s wardrobe, and the wonderfully decorated towns of St. Denis, Strawberry, Rhodes, Valentine, Annesburg, and Blackwater. And so I find myself sewing Arthur Morgan-inspired pieces, for both myself and my husband. Who knows where inspiration will find you? I certainly didn’t think a Rockstar-developed video game would bring me such joy and fashion design inspiration. But it truly shows that inspiration is everywhere if you take the time to appreciate it.

L to R: 1890s long underwear-inspired dress, Vest with high neck in the 1890s tailoring style, Exaggerated 1890s menswear stripe pants

ATEEZ’s Don’t Stop M/V is a Masterpiece

My first comeback experience for the South Korean boy band ATEEZ was for their single Don’t Stop. I gave their music a try thanks to the recommendation of Katie from Steal the Spotlight. What was at the time a random song pick, has become a piece of fashion inspiration that I could watch on repeat and my journey to becoming a new member of Atiny.

Ateez debuted on October 24, 2018, with the song ‘Pirate King’ and incorporated the pirate aesthetic into their lightstick, insignias, and this video, ‘Don’t Stop’. I love the pirate aesthetic, with The Pirates of the Caribbean series being one of my favorites for costume design. In the music video ‘Don’t Stop’ the pirate aesthetic is mixed with an Ocean’s Eleven style heist framework making this a perfect match for me!

Pirates on a Quest for Redemption

The scene begins with a beaten and bruised Mingi being thrown from a car that later blows up. Cut to Hongjoong, seated at a grand piano in a pirate-esque coat with a compass insignia looking at a pirate ship model, with the implication of loss and frustration.

In the shadow of night, we meet Seonghwa, Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho as they break into a pawn shop. This is no ordinary pawn shop but one containing a pirate-style sword and a skull. In pure Ocean’s Eleven style, they break into the vault of I assume the guys who took Mingi to retrieve the title for their pirate ship. I believe Yunho wears the jacket with a skeleton motif, evoking to me the skull and crossbones of a pirate flag but also the ghost pirates of ‘The Curse of the Black Pearl.’

Meanwhile, Wooyoung and San try to take the baddies in a rigged poker game for their spyglass.

Things begin to turn, from the ashes of the blown-up car, Mingi finds a compass that matches the patch on Hongjoong’s coat.

In a fit of despair, Hongjoong, aka the Captain, throws an oil lantern off the piano he stands on, next to the pirate ship, and it looks as though he is going down with the ship in a sea of fire. It’s a visually stunning image. Instead, he throws the small pirate ship into the flames that have consumed the piano. The ship shatters, sending an ember upwards into his eye. In spite of the destruction, within the flames and remains of the tiny ship, a skeleton key is seen at the feet of Hongjoong.

The video culminates with Mingi being picked up by Seonghwa, Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho in an armored car with a pirate king hood ornament reminiscent of the siren on the bow of a pirate ship. San and Wooyoung, winners of the game go to claim their prize but not before the gang seizes the spyglass. At this moment the armored car erupts through the wall to save San and Wooyoung.

When we see Hoongjoong next, he takes his full form as the pirate king with an eye patch. He stumbles down an empty road, in the distance from where he came smoke billows upward. As darkness falls, the crew reunites with Hongjoong to reveal their bounty – the compass, the title to the ship, the looking glass, and a bag full of cash. The video ends with all eight members, changed to pirate-inspired garb, walking towards the camera, past the camera, in search of something bigger. In the distance we see beached on a desert dune, the stern of their pirate ship.

The Fashion is Rich in Details

There are a lot of looks I would like to recreate from this video. By far the standout piece for me is the yellow plaid pants with faux skirt worn by Mingi. They are like punk plaid pants mixed with a kilt in the best way possible. I hope to figure out the pattern someday so that I can sew my own version. Seriously, why is this not a style seen on the runway or the street? It’s such a versatile statement piece.

The lapels, length, and overall cut of Hongjoong’s pirate coat is such a classic outerwear silhouette but with the twist of the graphic print and edgy styling, it looks like a brand-new kind of coat. Because of how much work goes into the tailoring process of making an outerwear garment I love seeing how the right styling can make a piece even more wearable.

San’s sweater with the axe motif and color-blocked sleeves is one of the most unique sweaters I have seen. I hope as my knitting skills improve I can attempt to make a sweater using the techniques and make my own version of his look at the poker game.

Yunho’s skeleton-inspired letterman jacket would be such a great thrift flip. As a girl who grew up with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and the “rawr” aesthetic of ‘scene’ being quite popular in my teen years, I have an appreciation for skulls. I even have an Alexander McQueen skull scarf that I think would fit perfectly in the music video.

San and Wooyoung’s final looks of the video shine for me as the pirate core aesthetic has emerged in 2022/2023. It is such a clean and modern interpretation of the romanticized pirate style this aesthetic celebrates. San’s vest to me evokes those little details of the Spanish galleon. The vertical lacing looks like bones from a Jolly Roger flag. The criss-cross lacing evokes the stays and early corsetry of the pirate era and the rigging of the sails.

Wooyoung’s half vest looks like a piece of armor, reminiscent of a holster, but it also bridges the gap between East Asian pirates and Western pirates of the Atlantic. The lacing on his shoulder adds the subtle detail of the classic men’s shirt of the period worn by Western pirates. I also enjoy the contrast of the white shirt, like a sail, and the black of the half vest, like the black flag being raised for an attack.

All in all, I love the fantasy of this music video. Fashion and music can bring out the best in each other when there is a clear vision. The stylist for Ateez continually inspires me to push my own style further and excites me for the day when I can construct garments with the level of care that is seen on the band members.

Matthew 27 & Isaiah 25

This post is a little late, Resurrection Sunday was over two weeks ago, but hey, at least I made it before Pentecost so that’s a win right? Anyways, this year as we went into the week of remembrance of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Silent Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday my Bible reading coincided with a study of Isaiah.

If you’re unfamiliar with the book of Isaiah, it is a book from the Old Testament that contains prophecies about the coming Messiah, Jesus. During Jesus’ life and ministry, Isaiah is quoted 21 times, and referenced throughout the New Testament a total of 85 times. It is an important text! This is my second proper study of Isaiah, my first being when I read through the entire Bible, this time around I have been taking it slow, and meditating on the text. Letting the significance of the words steep in my mind.

Since watching The Chosen, the gospels have come alive. Dallas Jenkins and Angel Studios’ intentionality to portray scripture, adhering to the text and historical details bring the story to life. The Chosen has challenged me to approach my Bible studies not as just a familiar thing I do. With the text being known well so I tend to go into auto-pilot mode, which is a blessing to know scripture but as we know it can be a barrier to learning.

If you are wondering why I am not calling it Easter, Easter originates from a pagan fertility festival that was co-opted by the Catholic Church to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus by the Council of Nicea in 325 AD. In North America, I find it to be a weird holiday. I’ve celebrated Easter Sunday before with family that staunchly refuses to acknowledge Jesus and that gave me a different perspective on Easter. Now I do recognize the connection to Passover, and would much rather celebrate Passover leading into Resurrection Sunday, than a bunch of Spring symbols and bunnies, although I do love bunnies. But they are a distraction and this year, I desired as little distractions as possible.

The Chosen has challenged me to remember this is a real story, to understand that Jesus my redeemer and friend, sacrificed himself not just for me but for the whole world. It is the most incredible event in human history and for too long I have not recognized that. I have been distracted by North American culture downplaying it whether that is in the church or the spectacle that is the bombardment of advertising campaigns to make me dwell on Reese’s Eggs instead of death being defeated.

First and foremost the Bible is an account of real people and the work of the Almighty God who is still working now, so when it happened to be that I was reading Isaiah 25 on Good Friday, the same day I planned to re-read Matthew 27 to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, there was this incredible sense of purpose between this pairing that excited me because I knew it wasn’t fate, it was an opportunity for God to teach me more. And He did indeed. If you look at the text below in Isaiah 25: 7-9 you can see a key moment prophecies that would come to be in Matthew 27:45-54.

And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples,
    the veil that is spread over all nations.  He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
    for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day,
    Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
    This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
    let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

Isaiah 25:7-9

Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land  until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink.  But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.”

 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

Matthew 27: 45-54

The hope of death being swallowed up so the veil, or symbolic barrier in the Holy of Holies (in the Temple and Tabernacle) would no longer be needed. The veil or curtain marking the entrance to the Holy of Holies kept God’s presence separate from the people because of sin. God is righteous and just, because of this our sin separates us from the intimacy Adam and Eve had in the garden when they walked with God. But God desired this intimacy with us again, and we desire it too, and so through Jesus’ sacrifice for the sins of the world (past, present, and future) on the cross provided the ultimate sin offering to move us from the Old Covenant of the Law of Moses to the New Covenant in Christ Jesus where the curtain is no longer needed.

How cool is that?! And God planned this from the beginning. Isaiah spoke of this coming redemption before the exile even happened. From the beginning of the story in Genesis 3, God was already referencing the coming redemption:

I will put enmity between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
    and you shall bruise his heel.

Genesis 3:15 ESV

This Good Friday, I felt a deeper sense of sorrow than ever before reading the account of Jesus’ death. In the past year, I have desired to know Him, and have Him be my confidant, my friend. Because of The Chosen, as I have mentioned before, I can’t wait to see Jesus in person. I can’t wait to hug Him. With this great sorrow, there has been an even greater joy in knowing that even the idea of spending time with Jesus in Heaven is because of the sorrow. His death was necessary to swallow up death forever and resurrection was necessary to be able to rejoice in the salvation of our Redeemer. All in all, I have found more excitement in this season than I have before because I know how much it means. Thank you, Jesus!

Ancient Irish Calendar

An important part of the world I desired to create in my novel Udal Cuain was a sense of place. Since I chose to set my story in Early Medieval Ireland, also known as Viking Age Ireland, I strove to create a world that didn’t feel like our modern age but instead steeped in a culture unlike the modern North American one I know as familiar. A simple way I found to create this complete world was to research and incorporate the Ancient Irish calendar of months. The structure of this calendar looked a little something like this:

Geimhreadh (Winter)

Samhain (November), Nollaig (December), Eanair (January)

With Samhain celebrated the night between the last day of fall and winter, signifiying a new year.
Later on in Nollaig the Winter Solstice was celebrated.

Earrach (Spring)

Feabhra (February), Marta (March), Aibrean (April)

With the festival of Imbolc, for fertility and planting, celebrated at the start of Feabhra.
The Spring Equinox was recognized in Marta.

Samhradh (Summer)

Bealtaine (May), Meitheamh (June), Iuil (July)

With the festival of May Day being celebrated on the first day of Bealtaine.
Summer Solstice recognized during Meitheamh at New Grange

Fomhar (Fall/Harvest)

Lunasa (August), Mean Fomhair (September),
Deireadh Fomhair (October)

The Lunasa festival being celebrated at the start of the harvest.
At the end of Deireadh Fomhair, Samhain night signified the end of the year.

Already this calendar has a different rhythm than our own, with the months with each season divided one month earlier than we do now. It is a calendar that reflects the agricultural tempo of the ancient Irish society and helped the Viking Age world I was writing about feeling like it had structure. These months are unique, based on a lunar structure with names that correspond to what’s going on within the season compared to the Gregorian calendar, our modern system, which is mathematical and accounts for the passage of time the Earth takes to orbit the Sun. Understanding how and why we use things is important to consider when creating a new world or awakening an ancient world within a story.

The people who created this Irish calendar understood the passage of time in a different, yet similar way to what we understand it. We have religious and cultural festivals, recognize four seasons, and even celebrate Halloween to this day. So there is common ground, and you will find your own common ground in your projects if you choose to add a calendar to your fiction world-building!

Passage of Time

I provided source materials to bring this structure into the story in a natural way, there was a separate section devoted to this calendar like an appendix to a book. Because of how complex the Gaelic language is, having the visible calendar to reference with the names corresponding with their meaning helped me keep it straight as I wrote and added a nice layer to the story, a touch point the characters could reference naturally in dialogue yet the reader could have the knowledge to understand the meaning behind these sometimes foreign words. I enjoy little details like that.

I think it’s why I enjoy Harry Potter, Avatar the Last Airbender, Star Wars, etc. I like to lose myself in a story and wander far into the world, a calendar is that little extra punch that pulls me in even more to a time and place. So when I was writing a character I fancied the idea of being able to think about that character’s understanding of time.

  • What were they looking forward to?
  • What would signify change or normalcy in that character’s life?
  • How could I take the research of Viking Age Ireland and synthesize it into a story that would feel tangible?

I came back to the passage of time and by illustrating that in the story with these seasons, sprinkling little details of the season, the weather, the natural processes that come with winter, planting, harvest, summer sunshine, and all the ways we as humans make sense of that.

Cultural Significance

Holidays and festivals are key to our lives, and so were they for the historical world I was reimagining. They are connection points for characters. Opportunities to naturally move the story forward with action sequences, unexpected plot twists, or just an excuse to bring all your characters together in one scene that is plausible. It provides a way to understand the world from different perspectives and how these characters view their customs and cultures. Generationally, characters may see these moments differently. Introverts and extroverts will experience the spectacle and parties in their own fashion.

With Udal Cuain, Samhain played a big role in framing the year because of how culturally significant this festival was to Ancient Irish culture. They literally believed the separation between the living and dead grew thin on this night, if their deities were not pleased bad spirits would come to harm and the world may cease to exist the next day. It was not just a night of spooky characters, it was a serious event, and as humans, it explores our own feelings of fragility in the greater universe. Mortals versus immortal forces. This is a fantastic source of natural tension in a story, and as the dead could come back to visit their loved ones it brought a source of mystery to the story.

Two main characters, former Chieftain Conn, and Princess of Inis Aran, Caoimhe were deceased by mysterious and suspicious means in Udal Cuain, but one Samhain they each came back, one to haunt and one to heal. It was a blast to write and I highly recommend playing around with a structure like this in your own unique way.

I hope this dive back into the world of Udal Cuain and the research I did to create this novel, serves to inspire you. Even as I write this, I feel an itch to get back into fiction writing. It is such a challenging yet rewarding art form, and so necessary to our human hearts. Stories make us who we are. Dear reader, thanks for taking time with me today. I wish you all the best.

#19 – Canning, No Reservations, Gratitude

We had a busy weekend, many canning projects to preserve, and some errands to run. The usual weekend things. I’ve noticed the more hobbies my husband and I take on, the happier we are because there is just something enticing to us about going to bed worn out from the hard work with a smile of accomplishment on our faces. I’ve started to keep a journal of our weekends, how we did the projects, and little details that happened – like little silly things that make me smile or how we put the recipes together. Having that little record of these weekends that otherwise could be a blur of repetition and hard work makes all these moments spent with Kyle, sweeter.

Friday Sunshine

I want to remember those tiny drops of sunshine moments that make life a remarkable story. To slow down and think through those bits of joy sprinkled within the mundane and chaotic. On Friday after work, we stopped by our local Aldi to pick up potatoes and vegetables to preserve and the mushrooms we wanted were in stock and $0.99 a carton. The sun was warm, bright, and revealing the splendor of summer to come. We drove with the windows down listening to Babel by Mumford and Sons – a college throwback.

Moderngurlz posted a banger of a video about Chanel and I spent my late afternoon soaking in the sounds of nature while I wrapped up a panel of a sweater tank. In the golden hour, my next-door neighbor, a good friend texted me and I stopped by for a visit – I love those moments of fellowship and Kpop discussion. Her daughter had a fundraiser for her school and I had the opportunity to participate in what makes communities great – helping each other. That evening we watched round one of the Pro Bull Riding Tour in Everett, Washington. My favorite animal athlete Domino had a good out, and the Cowboys got a few qualified rides but mostly injuries.

Saturday Fluff

I started the day with the newest Bernadette Banner upload on corsetry and a bowl of fresh kiwi, scone, and dairy-free whipped cream. On Saturday, the weather became a whole new season. It was the misty, cool gray of an Irish day. With rain jacket in tow, we went to Walmart which is not my favorite place on a Saturday – because it seems to be everyone’s favorite place on a Saturday – it was the most happening place in town. Despite the crowd, we met the nicest employee who helped us match some paint. Well we tried to match some paint and it didn’t go as planned but those moments of searching for the right color formula for the paint shade “Reindeer Fur” while discussing the quirks of horse hair plaster were a joy. Like watching an episode of Gilmore Girls, the small-town charm peaked.

My favorite place to run an errand is the Agway store. What is Agway? A local feed supply, pet, and garden store that dots the South Western Pennsylvania landscape. It has the garden things that you actually need and knowledgable people, it has the smells from hay, to fish food, to blood meal fertilizer – the funkiest garden smell. It also has bunnies and ferrets! I used to have a pet bunny, and my friend had a pet ferret, I love small furry creatures so this place gives me all the feels. I want to adopt another bunny, yet our current rental does not allow pets so for now I soak up the small moments of bunny cuteness at the Agway. This time did not disappoint! I got to hear the bun nibble on a small snack, flop on her bed and make some teeth purr chatter as she drifted off to a nice nap. I also got to pet a ferret! The employees regularly tend to any animals they have and so while the employee was playing with one of the ferrets she called me over to give the ferret some attention. It did try to bite me but it was still cute.

Later on, the day was a symphony of potato peels, random snacks, canning jars, and episodes of No Reservations. The Ozarks and Heartland episodes. Recently, Domino’s opened a store in my town, one of the only delivery places I can eat at since I have a dairy/beef intolerance. My food of choice is Mango Habanero Wings. Not having to cook was a delight but then our delivery driver showed up in a sweet street-style look with bright orange sneakers and a black and white camo coat. The fashion scene around here is pretty dull, so seeing anyone mix it up gives me a small delight. In the late hours of canning, we caught a live show on Sirius XM The Message from Blessing Offor. His music is uplifting and soulful. Highly recommend checking him out. With a cup of Chamomille tea in hand, the night ended with a Simple Living Alaska video. A great way to end a long day of hard work.

Sunday Steam

A dish I make a lot is Miso Soup, a dish you need a good broth to layer as the base. A pantry staple Kyle and I have wanted to learn is the art of crafting a layered, umami-bomb-style, broth. I’m happy to say, it turned out well! Adding another table to our canning setup made the difference, there was so much counter space this time. We spent the day chopping, stirring, and managing the steam emanating from the kitchen.

I leveled up in my piano lesson book to Unit Five. The short round of the PBR was theatrical to the end. I sewed my sweater tank together and began the final panel. We watched a mix of No Reservations and Hometown. I dreamed of wallpapering a future historical house like Erin and maybe visiting Africa one day, while taking in Anthony Bourdain’s travels through Namibia and Ghana. At the end of the day, I reveled in a bowl of noodles with fresh broth and tried to not think of The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova as we enjoyed the Romania episode of No Reservations. T’was a good weekend.

Potato Technology Spring/Summer 2023 Collection, Part One

L to R: I Dream of Fashion Polly Bustier, Chocolate Bunny Three Piece Set, Glitch Mode Herringbone Skirt, Wilson Plaid Midi Skirt, 254 4th Street Blouse, White Rabbit Tank, Peach Perfect Drawstring Shorts, Engarde Cardigan, Pleated Chambray Tank, Red Currant Blouse and Skirt, Grayscale Summer Kilt, The Mirage Reversible Knit Top & Skirt (4 combinations), Digital Snake Print Dress

Knitting Tests My Patience

It’s the start of a new project. I select my needle gauge and yarn ball. The time to cast on is here. Time to begin the endless loops of yarn twisting around the knitting needles. Let’s make something out of a static strand.

Knitting as a creative process for me has been something akin to ‘The Curse of Oak Island’. Are they ever going to find the treasure? Am I ever going to be good at this? I know what I want to accomplish. I can see the project in my mind and then it’s a blur. It’s like the stitches take the lead and maniac style they wreak havoc.

When the stitches take the lead, things go awry, why am I wasting my time? It’s been a creative tragedy in the Greek theatrical sense of the word, a project unraveled by Act Three. So, why do I keep trying? I want to succeed like all these other knitters I see on Pinterest and Instagram. They make such cute designs. Knitting your own piece is a lot cheaper. It’s rewarding to see your handiwork not just make the design of the garment but the actual fabric! As a seamstress and creative person, I want to climb this mountain no matter how long it takes so that I can finally taste sweet success.

Accepting Trial and Error

It’s weird, knitting has been the most frustrating yet fascinating hobby because, unlike sewing, you begin with nothing. It’s a ball of yarn and two sticks, that come together to create shapes based on how you loop the yarn, stitch after stitch. Negative space to positive.

The tantalizing simplicity of knitting sucks me every time, and yet in three years of trying, and countless attempts, I’ve made one garment that I like. One garment came out the way I pictured in my head. That’s a terrible conversion rate if you think about that in terms of football. What would be the point in continuing unless you love playing the game. Because at its core, knitting is an investment in time. If you want to make a project of size and use, like a sweater, it’s a multiple-month commitment if you’re a quick and capable knitter. It is a slow process. Like painstakingly slow for me at times, and repetitive.

Patience is not my strong suit, and so knitting has challenged me. It has frustrated me to my core when I have dropped a stitch and I have to frog (unwind) row after row of work. Hours of progress dissolved from my project in a minute, only to remain in my memory. But when you get it right, as what happens in life when you accomplish a goal you’ve had for a long time, the victory is sweet. Completing a panel of a sweater or a hat without failure, and the project removed from the needles looks like what you imagined in your head – well that is euphoria!

Because of how tricky executing a knitwear project has been for me I get excited even when it sucks. Like this experimental tank I made in 2021.

It’s weird and avant-garde. My lack of understanding of how knitwear stretches and shapes based on needle gauge caused some rolling issues. The tank was not what I expected but also not a disaster. It’s weird being pleased with your own mediocrity. I think that is what is so interesting about this skill-acquiring process. It’s student work, but it’s your student work so there is a sense of pride. I made this thing and it doesn’t fall apart! It also looks like a crop top – woohoo! There’s an accomplishment in finishing, like when you took a terrible class in college and instead of dropping it and starting over you grind for the credits. I guess it is character-building!

Experimental Success

It hasn’t all been for naught, I would say it is Yarn – 10, Magz – 7. That’s a decent record. It’s cool to look back at things I’ve learned along the way like this Steeple stitch and see that yes, I am getting better. I love the texture of this piece and hope to remake it someday with the proper sizing and needle gauge. Below there is a ribbed hat with pom-pom, a striped scarf, a rugby stripe hat and matching scarf (not pictured), and a Flying Geese Stitch cardigan coat. It hasn’t been a waste of time even though knitting has made me very frustrated. It’s a nice skill to have.

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