Sean McGirr’s debut collection at Paris Fashion Week 2024 – Womenswear Fall/Winter 2024-2025 show was the most anticipated collection for me because of how bored I was by Sarah Burton’s creative direction. Sarah Burton took over after the death of Alexander McQueen in 2009. Although Sean McGirr’s appointment to Alexander McQueen has been a controversial move, and that’s fine, that is an opinion but not my opinion. I think he has talent and his debut collection, and for me, it has injected a new interest in the Alexander McQueen brand. If I.N. from Stray Kids had not been appointed as a Global Ambassador for the brand, I probably wouldn’t be as excited either, to be honest, I love the collaboration and how I.N. looks in the McQueen silhouettes.
Now, this collection was exciting for one reason, it was weird and was a refreshing expression of knitwear, dresses with pockets, suits, turtlenecks, and what should be worn – like broken glass! I loved how bizarre the fur turtlenecks were for covering the face and the goblet-esque shape. Pockets on the chest for dresses and jackets just seem cozy and a challenge to the norm. The exaggerated and absurdly oversized sweaters are fun and stylish despite the possibility of swallowing the silhouette of the wearer. I think we worry too much about how our bodies look at all times and the usual silhouettes of this collection are a challenge to the standard, I would love for this to go mainstream. I’m sick of leggings and the tight-fitting clothes of recent years. Give me more of this.
Little details that I appreciated the most were the ties at the ankles and arms on suits, the tie bag show covers, and the use of fluffy textures on the front of the body mixed with delicate tulle. I enjoyed the knit skirts, broken glass textures, the pairing of tailoring and oversized drapes that break up the lines of the body in odd ways, and the mix of shine and floof for lack of a better term. I’m optimistic about the future for McQueen under McGirr’s direction. His show was well designed and I loved the music.
An item that I added to my sewing tools in 2024 is brown craft paper and it has been a game changer! It’s not only transformed my creative process but has helped me create new garments that fit me better with less fabric waste. How cool is that?
Learning is Hardwork
As with every new skill, the first phase of creating is messy and full of flaws, this was my creative process. You have to start and in starting you are an imperfect sewist, fitting and pattern cutting are tricky and this really bothered me to accept. I like getting things right the first time. Learning to accept that this was going to be a journey, was frustrating at first. I have a vision in my head but I can’t always execute the vision at this stage. These things are part of the learning process, like using existing patterns to learn the techniques and accepting that things are going to fit poorly until I can learn to tailor them. Which is happening! With each garment I make, I can see a progression toward the goal, slow and steady but still moving forward.
But there has been a process I did not expect and that is making pieces with my silhouette and my body type in mind, not just my measurements. Things I want to make may not look fantastic on my proportions. That was a time of trial and error in my creative process that I wasn’t expecting because when you go to a store and try on clothing, the design decisions are already made and you only have to decide on which silhouette you would like to choose. But with fashion design, self-drafting patterns in particular, I realized what was going to make me happy was experimentation. Trying a little bit of everything and playing around with different styles to see what I liked and what looked good on my body.
Sometimes just an inch here, a lowered line there, a rise adjustment, or nipping in a shoulder can transform a project from a flop to a success. It’s subtle yet effective and a skill I see you are only capable of learning from experience, either from your own by the process of being self-taught or from the instruction of more skilled designers. It is sculptural, artistic, and honestly sometimes like architecture or construction. It may be fabric and tread but the same principles apply. The foundation is crucial, and the foundation of any garment is the fabric and how you cut it.
Enter the Craft Paper
How do you replicate a project that works? You need a template, a jig, or a blueprint. A pattern. I thought that understanding the dimensions alone would suffice when I am cutting, but there is nothing like having the template to keep my cutlines accurate for curves and hem allowance. It takes the guesswork out of this process which if you are cutting blind is like a chess match with the fabric and your memory of what you have made before. It’s too difficult so I needed to work smarter and make my own pattern pieces out of paper. There were two tops that I had designed that fit me quite well out of a stretch knit and before they were properly sewn together, I took the pins out and traced them onto my craft paper.
Two bodice types – one scoop neck, one v-neck, and one sleeve template. From this inexpensive paper I have found a cipher to make things with more finesse. A tried and true bodice and sleeve that can be used for tops or dresses. A foundation to build upon that has streamlined my making process. You don’t have to be an expert at your craft to make a template, I thought I had to reach mastery before I was worthy to do this, it is simply part of the making process to make things with excellence in mind.
Fix On
I’ve watched a few creators for too long without questioning why “good enough” was their motto. I in turn also fell back on this type of approach to my designs as I learned because learning is hard work. Striving to be better is not fun, it’s maintaining a critical eye and raising your standards for yourself. In this sewing journey of learning and making, instant gratification and impatience are my Achilles heel. I want to do things quickly because everything is done quickly now. I get stuck in that loop of making more, making faster, chasing after goals, and feeling left behind because I am still not selling my patterns or garments, still.
But “good enough” is fine for Youtubers who have an established brand and following, but that’s not going to get me anywhere near my goals of design. I have to continually “fix on” as Mingi says, to the goal ahead and stop paying attention to what others have done to achieve their success. They are already in that space and that is the path their life has taken, I have to find my own thing and continue to work hard.
I’m sharing this to encourage you dear reader to not settle and to challenge yourself to be your own person. I believe that God gave you unique talents and has a plan tailor-made for your life so fight the hive mind of our current world and do the strange thing – work hard, strive for excellence, and be uniquely you! I hope that wherever you are today you remember that you are special, you are loved, and that you have potential for excellence. No matter what has happened in your life and how gray the skies are above you, there is still hope for a future.
I was inspired to explore my feelings about this dream and nightmare from a YouTube video I watched by Electra Dashwood. You should check it out!
Tropical Travel Vlogger Trunk
This Fashion Polly-esque playset-looking trunk may look cute and fantastical, but in my dream, it was full of pure nightmares. This dream sequence was so vivid I woke feeling like my life was falling apart, all because of this Pandora’s box. Definitely the effect of some stressful personal situations I had in my life at the time. I’ve been feeling waves of anxiety lately. Although I deeply disliked this trunk in my dream, in art form I wish I had this little gem to store my fabric because it is delightfully bright and vivid. This was drawn in chalk pastel in February 2024.
Cloud Drawing Messenger
This was another odd dream, with my dad, whom I don’t often dream about because I honestly don’t have that many memories with him. After a big boundary breakthrough, I had this dream in which my dad would only communicate with me through watercolor clouds expressing his emotions about what I shared. This was such a cool dream because usually all my dad and I do if we have an emotional conversation, it is in anger and yelling. But this dream was delicate and uplifting. We communicated, and I wish this dream had been real life. The clouds were recreated in chalk pastel in December 2023.
To start the path of becoming a knitwear designer, I first had to quit knitting, totally walking away from it to understand that it was something I was passionate enough to keep growing, pursue, and be willing to fail at to create something beautiful. Sometimes personal growth requires surrendering your plan to find the plan you were called to follow.
These pieces were made two years apart and yet I think they fit seamlessly together even though they were not planned. None of my knitting pieces from 2023 onward were planned because I decided to quit knitting in 2021 and was feeling pretty lost and frustrated in 2022. Knitting became a place of competition with my mom, a comparison with more advanced knitters, and a direct competitor to my sewing process.
It took a while for me to see this skill as an art form instead of a distraction. An extension of fashion design, storytelling, and fiber art. These forms are symbiotic, yet the way I was approaching it created struggle in my mind and it wasn’t until I made peace with the process that I could see how this was a way to continue self-expression and design.
It took being willing to approach knitting the way I feel comfortable instead of the way others feel comfortable, like knitting on straight needles, and taking the scenic route in my knitting technique to learn and improve. I had to accept that my pieces were going to look different because my approach was different than how I was being taught. Because of my background in art and sewing, I think about garment creation as I would in sewing. Knitting is the opposite, instead of cutting shapes out of a whole, you are making the whole shape out of nothing, it’s a brain teaser. It was at least until I took time to think about it.
After I completed the scarf, I put my needles away, donated my excess yarn stash, and walked away. For a year, I didn’t want to knit. I wasn’t inspired, I wasn’t interested. But at that time, I was designing with fabric. I was tailoring and learning how to read patterns. That’s when it clicked. All of it clicked.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t figure out knitting, I needed a better approach! My brain needed time to process the knowledge that I was learning from sewing and knitting. My mind was figuring out what kind of story it wanted to tell. Making a collection in 2022 for my family and friends got the ball rolling in my mind. I realized it wouldn’t be that difficult to be a successful knitter, I just needed to be a knitwear designer and go that extra step to create my own pattern and my own plan. Knitting hadn’t clicked before because I was trying to be like other knitters, instead of experimenting and finding my own style.
Just like personal style, creative writing, and art, you have to find your thing! The process may not feel like progress and that is where falling in love with the process is such an important piece of the puzzle. I have a passion for designing clothing, I’ve had it my whole life, but I was divorcing clothing from knitwear because I was not pushing myself to make clothing. Once I got serious and dove into making an actual garment it transformed my perspective. They are the same just different approaches. One does not need to be a distraction from the other, they can work in sync. That’s when the light bulb went off in my mind – so can accessories. Layers are little things that make a piece pop. If I am going to go all in for design, then a symbiotic relationship between what I design with thread and what I design with yarn must play off of each other. This is how I realized being a knitwear designer was as much a part of me as being a fashion designer, a sewist, an artist, and a writer.
This month has straight up stunk. It was a pinball of coming off those allergic reactions I mentioned in #45 – Allergy and Winter Winds, coming down with a cold or a cold, getting better, having an allergic reaction to my eyeshadow, getting another cold, discovering my body wash and loofah combo was giving me irritation, in the form of friction hives, and having to stop drinking camomille to get the hives to go away. I was stuck in this loop of discouragement and I definitely let it live in my mind leading to worry and feeling stuck, basically, like this gif when Kim and Ron switch bodies because of Drakken’s body-switching machine. It was one flip to another flop, nothing progressing, just stuck.
That is life, it kicks our butts, leaves us discouraged, and some days feel like a bunch of little things going wrong are going to give us death by a thousand paper cuts. But honestly, that’s part of the journey of existence. Life does not give us any guarantees that each day is going to be sunshine and rainbows, some days are like a tsunami, and other days are like tripping, repeatedly. I’m thankful that it was only a bunch of small little things breaking my focus, instead of one of those big things that shake us to our core. As a highly sensitive person, I can let the little things swirl around in my head until they are big, shakeable problems that tower over me. These little setbacks taught me something pretty important, I need people in my life. I crave it more than my introverted nature is willing to admit.
On those days, when I felt frustrated and down, lost in the worry of my own head, the thing that pulled me back to the light were people. They helped me remember that I wasn’t alone, but instead that I am loved and needed by others in return. There is purpose and worth in the person I am in being there for others in my life.
It was the small things, Kyle taking care of me when I was feeling really crumby, like asking if I had taken medicine or refilling my water bottle before I realized it was empty. Him doing the dishes, cooking dinner, and making me tea in the morning as I was super slow pulling myself out of bed. Those are huge when you are feeling sick and he is so patient with me. Or my neighbor, who texted me one morning because our Amazon packages got mixed up, remembering she is next door and always there if I need a friend. A phone conversation with a friend, talking about anything or nothing, but the connection of catching up after a while and spending time in that bubble together is such a refreshing reset. Having one of those low-maintenance friendships where she texts me out of the blue and we spend time catching up writing digital letters to each other until the conversation fades, knowing we’ll pick it back up later on. Admitting to my mom that I was scared because she was having complications from her surgery this past summer, saying the fear aloud and facing that I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. A quick chat with my stepdad, talking nonsense but having a blast doing it. My brother-in-law video calling me out of the blue to catch up as we both cook dinner.
Those little moments of community, pull me out of the funk I was in faster than I realized. We really need people. This modern life is lonely. If nothing else, from this month, I learned how dissatisfied I am with the digital barriers there are to the community and how I don’t want to settle anymore. Because people matter and we need them even if we get peopled out easily. Goodbye, February, my relentless gremlin and ironically, the frank teacher I needed.
This was a sketch from memory, of my first bunny, Midnight. She was a great listener. A companion who liked quiet, just like me. I loved watching her ears move as she perceived the world around her. This was a quick sketch directly in chalk pastel with minimal blending.
One Rabbit Riot 