#32 – Keystone Safari, Nook Inc. & Loneliness

I am full of delight with hints of fall dancing in the cool breeze of a cold front and speckling the leaves of trees with those first hints of autumn. This is my favorite time of year, as summer fades into a golden glow that leads us into the merriment of fall, Halloween, and beyond towards Christmas. I’ve noticed these little moments as I walk around Keystone Safari, a place that has refreshed my soul more than I could imagine. I’ve found a safe, consistent place to walk and be surrounded by nature. Not only nature but the beauty of creation because Keystone Safari and its sister park, Living Treasures. They are two wildlife conservation parks nearby that have brought a sense of peace and wonderment to an otherwise mundane small town.

Through these experiences, I have been able to see penguins, lions, giraffes, kookaburras, kangaroos, mandrills, anteaters, and more up close and have been astonished by the creativity in their design and the magnitude of what an incredible world we live in.

I love animals. I have since I was a child and if I had been a better biology student, maybe I would have pursued a career where I could take care of animals. Not being in a house currently where we can have a pet, I forgot how comforting being around animals can be, even healing. The opportunity to go feed, pet, or just observe and learn about animals from around the world has been a great blessing. Getting more sun, fresh air, exercise, and experience around big groups of people again has been good for me too. I am not good with crowds.

The reminder of that smacked me in the face on Monday when I went to a local county fair and immediately panicked, by the sea of people. As I walked back towards the animal barns in search of the ‘Goat Olympics’ and rabbit judging, the constant waves of people made me feel like a salmon fighting against a current. No matter what I did I could not relax. My usual trick of looking at the sky did not calm my mind. Instead, I felt like I was white-knuckling it until the exit gate came into view. I feel embarrassed when crowds get the best of me and I wish I could be one of those people who is unphased by the spectacle of it instead of feeling overstimulated.

Something that does bring me back to a state of calm though is a short visit to my current Animal Crossing island. I recently deleted my previous island Acorn and created a new island called Oddinary in hopes of creating a cozy fall-themed island with the fall recipes that will be in the seasonal rotation again. The name of the island is inspired by Stray Kids’s EP Oddinary featuring the songs Venom and Maniac. There is a spooky vibe to music videos that I thought would meld two of my favorite things – fall and k-pop into one cozy place of my imagination.

If you have never played the game, and my knowledge is limited to New Horizons, the game follows the 12-month calendar and is a little escape from reality on an island that you transform from deserted to a community. For me living in a hyper-individualistic (more like selfish) culture, it is like living in another time when community was important and cheers me up on the days I feel lonely.

Although my life is full of blessings, I’ve been feeling melancholy and hiding away in knitting and sewing projects. I need to continue to dig into my devotions, and my faith and trust the process of what I am going through with my parents because God does not leave us in states of loneliness, nor does He forget about us when we need people. He brings people into our lives to fill the gaps of those who have left us and He sustains us with His love and mercy. That’s what I need to focus on and instead, I tend to dwell on what I want not what I need. And I have so many great people in my life who want to be there.

One of those amazing people is Kyle and I think each day I grow fonder of him. Each day we find something new that we have in common and for that I treasure the peaceful bubble that God is leading me towards, cutting away the distractions yet surrounding me with friends who want to be like my family. For that I praise God.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

August 20, 2023

Genuine Moments

I used to be a regular Youtube viewer, especially as a broke newlywed, free content on Youtube was a must compared to paying for streaming or cable. In the mid-to-late 2010s, it was a happening place filled with adventure and wonder. Some of my favorite channels during that time were ones that have gone on to big success, the trap of overconsumption of ideas, just plain fell apart or have run out of ideas.

These channels covered the things I was yearning for – adventure with my best friend, the fun of trying new things and translating fashion knowledge to real life. The videos back then were less planned, and more chaotic, and felt like you, as the viewer, were their plus one coming along for the ride. Along the way though, things have changed. Maybe I’ve changed, maybe they changed, or simply just the world is a different place. But there is something different about Youtube videos, a magic spark is gone.

It could be the sponsorships and the AdSense money that has made it less genuine. Or maybe it’s the success of the channel that actually ruins the genuine moments of those early videos? Like there’s a chasm between the viewer and the content due to unbelievably or fakeness because this is a production now! That kind of thing irks me.

I find myself opening the app, scrolling through my subscriptions, and then switching to YouTube Music to watch a music video if I watch anything. It’s just stale. The videos from these old favorites are monotonous, uninspired, and unwatchable. Of course, I’ve moved on to new channels, but even with these new options, Youtube is not the happening place it used to be. I feel the same way about Instagram too. Any hold it used to have on me for scrolling thankfully is lifted and if I am going to waste time on a device, it is usually running across my island on ACNH.

So, why am I rambling about this? Well, I was struck this morning by such a genuine moment on social media from Yuu’s Adventures. It filled me with warmth and I wanted to share these genuine and wholesome places on Youtube that I hang out in now. Because I realized the magic spark is not over, it’s just in some new haunts.

Yuu’s Adventures – Warm welcome to Japan and its culture. Educational, heartwarming, and down-to-earth. Yuu’s storytelling pulls you in.

The Fast Lane – This channel is OG Top Gear UK if it was in Colorado. Real consumer advice, cheap car challenges, epic road trips.

The Wads – Kimberly Whisk will melt your heart. When I miss my grandma, I watch Kim. She has been a mini-mentor to help me find my footing as a wife and woman as life goes on after disappointment.

The Maine Woods – Cory & Gracie are heartwarming. Cory restores cabins and explores the woods of Maine with his trusty black lab, Gracie. She is an expert at finding Moose sheds.

Simple Living Alaska – Eric and Arielle share recipes, show how they build things, and share their adventures in Alaska living simply. They’re not selling you anything.

Geography King – As Kyle (that’s his name, not my husband) puts it, this is a place to find geography videos from a nerdy type perspective.

Kogarana’s Bunny Popo Channel – This is pure cuteness. The owner, Popo-chan the bunny, and Peto-kyun the cat, make some of the most relaxing and comforting content I have seen.

Reed Timmer Extreme Meteorologist – passion and real heart, intercepting dangerous storms to study and help people stay safe.

Stray Kids’ Vlogs – Are you feeling lonely? Here are eight new friends/brothers to keep you entertained. Join the family and let the laughter ensue. In their spare time, they make music.

I hope this brings a little sunshine to your day. 🌞 Stay tuned for knitting and sewing posts coming soon! I’ve been quite busy knitting up a storm. Until next time! 💓

August 15, 2023

#27 – Scones

Each week I find myself, hands covered in dough. The way I used to be as a kid, except instead of baking bread or sweet roll dough, I make a little thing called a scone. Or “scon” depending on whether you hail from Northern Ireland. It’s a simple thing. A new part of my routine. That little moment of quiet time, as I cube the cold butter and measure the dry ingredients. It’s a ritual. Between my fingers, I delve deep into the bowl molding vegan butter, sugar, flour, and baking powder into a sandy mixture. A sandy mixture that feels like the sand on the beach, a little wet, pliable. The sand I still love to squish in my hands, in a drifting mindless void of experiencing the texture. A sensory delight.

In the rhythm, I cube the butter. Careful, long cuts with a sharp knife divide, and divide again until with swift chops little butter cubes line up on the counter. Flour cup after flour cup, building a powdery mountain in the bowl. A sprinkle of sugar, leavening, and salt. Blend, blend, blend, and watch Youtube. Let your mind drift away to far places. Watch the squirrels hop around the yard. Add water and raisins, and make a wet, sticky dough. With a spoon drop the scones one by one on the parchment. A warm oven, here they go.

My scones are a bit like biscuits, a little like shortcakes. A dash of raisins, the quick lift of soda bread. They are an amalgamation of what I remember relatives baking for me as a kid, and a new thing influenced by new boundaries. New limitations by a dairy-free restriction put into the practice of a nostalgic moment. I cannot bake the way I used to, but I can still make things with new ingredients. I can carry on the old ways of the past but in a way that makes sense to me.

Coming from a Northern Irish background, my grandma’s side called them “scon” and she made them with raisins. She drank tea and ate them with a little butter. Traveling south, I had biscuits – buttery and lightly sweet biscuits which felt like these scones of my memory. Strawberries and shortcakes, with a dash of whipped cream, a dish reminiscent of evenings at my mother-in-law’s house. A quick baked treat after a long day of hard work, that we would eat while my father-in-law showed us old episodes of Star Trek. Irish Soda Bread is an item I discovered later on in life to celebrate my heritage. A treat my mom would make on St. Patrick’s Day. Its dense yet fluffy texture creeps its way into my scones. These are a bundle of memories in one bite.

A bite I have quite often now. A bite that is my current breakfast staple with a handful of berries and almond milk whipped cream. I eat this with a cup of Yerba Mate.

I used to avoid breakfast, I simply wasn’t hungry. Then I picked up some bad habits like granola bars, pop tarts, or sugary cereals to start my day. This is the first breakfast routine, I appreciate. Maybe it’s the responsibility of making those scones by hand and keeping the freezer stocked for the week that has given me agency. Or an open eye to how food is nourishment, not fuel, not the enemy, nor is it a coping mechanism that reminded me to enjoy this simple thing.

It’s Monday, and I only have one scone left. I’m honestly looking forward to getting my hands covered in dough, in my little weekly routine. To create that taste of home in one bite. For the love of baking. The joy of homemade, handmade things that are a privilege to make.

I hope you have a wonderful start to your week!

June 19, 2023