Month: October 2024

Favorite K-pop Spooky Music Videos

It’s Halloween week! Here are some of my favorite k-pop music videos to watch during this time of year that provide that festive fun. Red Velvet does horror-esque music videos better than anyone else in my opinion. I love how goofy Stray Kids music videos can be, they always look like they are having fun!

First mention is Chill Kill by Red Velvet. This one pulled me into the story so well that I gasped when the twist came. This album has been on repeat for me since I rediscovered Red Velvet this summer.

The second mention is Venom by Stray Kids, one of the first music videos I watched of theirs after Maniac. I love the theatrics, the spider, and the way they use shadows.

Good Boy Gone Bad by Tomorrow X Together was my first introduction to TXT and I didn’t know this is a weird, less loved song from them. I thought the music video was fun.

Next is Up All Night by Bang Chan, Changbin, Felix, Seungmin which came on my radar by either Starminy on Instagram or Kpopandcranes. What a fun ride! It’s like if Noel Fielding got to plan an episode of Bake Off.

Peek-A-Boo by Red Velvet is a song I’ve been listening to recently and discovered the music video is pretty spooky. I adore how weird they are.

JJAM by Stray Kids came out this summer and dang its such a fun ride. The green jam reminds me of Nickelodeon Slime.

Witch by Xikers was released this fall and wow, it has made me a Xikers fan. I love their new album and have listened to this song over and over again.

This last one is not technically a music video, but a special Halloween performance video.

The Black Cat Nero performed by Ateez is not my favorite song but I like the rock opera style of it and feels true to who Ateez is as a band, they are storytellers and performers who commit to their performance.

What’s your favorite Halloween inspired media for the season? Happy Halloween everyone!

Sewing Stretch Fabric Struggles

Do you ever spend time learning a skill just to forget it when you need to use it? That’s me. That’s how I sew stretch fabric on my machine. I just jump in and completely forget that I need to first properly adjust the tension and stitch type or else mayhem ensues. Mayhem like my machine having a nice little snack on my fabric.

Sometimes the machine gets extra bold and drags the hem under into the bobbin’s domain, jamming the machine. This is what I am talking about:

In the moment of panic, when I realize the fabric is stuck down in the machine a few thoughts dance through my mind.

  • Why didn’t you sew this by hand?!
  • You did it, you finally broke the machine you maniac!!
  • It’s ripped to shreds, isn’t it? The whole project might be gone in a moment.
  • This machine hates me. How do other people sew so effortlessly??

But it’s not the machine’s fault and it’s not the fabric that caused this, and it’s not even my fault. It’s morally neutral, it’s an accident and a learning experience to grow from!

As I was writing this, I caught myself crafting sentences to describe the situation with very negative and demeaning language towards myself for making a simple mistake. (A mistake that once I freed the fabric from the machine, I corrected and carried on to make the finished garment. The tight thread tension actually made a happy accident, a lettuce edge hem.)

It is not something that I should hold with such severity against myself that I internally tell myself I am an idiot, a lousy sewist, or useless.

Because how would I respond to hearing someone say that to another person? I would be disappointed in the speaker and make them stop.

How would I respond if I spoke with such aggression to another person? I would be ashamed.

I am learning through these sewing setbacks to temper the internal monologue and be a more gentle and loving person towards myself, to maintain better mental health, and establish the practice in my mind so that I can be a source of gentleness and kindness to others.

How do you speak towards yourself and others when they make a mistake?

Pop Press, Historical Biases, and the Straw Man of Politics

What is historical bias? As I dove deeper into my historical training, it became the elephant in the room of every class discussion and the turf monster of every thesis. It is where worldview intersects with historical interpretation and constructs an invisible wall between historical accuracy and interpretation in our present.

Even with firsthand accounts or eyewitness testimony of events, personal bias, and interpretation passively or actively weave themselves into the evidence. It is inescapable.

Something that I’ve gleaned, with a better understanding of, has been from listening to Biblical scholars meditate through the Greek and Hebrew translations of the Bible aka primary sources. It is truly an extraordinary work to ponder accounts from the past and sift through the biases we have as moderns to catch a fleeting moment of connection with the past filled with as deep of empathy for their pov as we can.

It is fleeting because the easier and more common way we interact with history is through quick and heavily biased source material.

A thesis-first and evidence-second approach, instead of first studying the evidence and letting it reveal the thesis is how we as humans prefer to communicate. But what we will gain if we let the text talk to us. Letting the text speak is similar to the Socratic method except instead of a conversation with people, you let the sources speak.

This does not translate well to our current pace of consuming information. It is slow and requires patience to study and understand the matter at hand from many angles. Therefore the “pop press” way of disseminating information, like the History Channel so often uses, rises from the ashes once again to the far reaches of TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.

This is not to say that only bad history or bad thesis drafting is a product of social media. I’ve learned wonderful details about a vast array of histories, fashion, language, and culture through these social platforms that I couldn’t have had access to at college, because the experts didn’t exist. Dress History wasn’t even a widely accepted specialty during my time in college. Social Media has provided a platform for niche history lovers to share their passion with a new audience. Social Media also provides a salon of discussion to debunk myths or provide deeper context to a subject that was given the “pop press” treatment.

So why am I writing about this today? I was watching a video from a creator who used to be a fantastic source of fashion and film content, a 2000s historian of girlhood with insightful and researched evidence that let the text speak. The original work was so high caliber that this current slump into heavily biased “historical” fashion videos and content that is just politics loosely veiled as film or fashion-focused, has been a great disappointment to me. The creator is so talented, and to see them be swayed by forces that are in our culture is sad.

Not only a disappointment, but it has shown me how important it is to stay committed to awareness of historical biases and the humble acknowledgment that we can’t talk in absolutes when it comes to interpretation. We have to be open to exploring the sources from many points of view and not let ourselves be mouthpieces of modernity, with the clever out of “victors write history” so what is the point of going deeper.

Victors certainly change history and can try to control its narrative, but history is the story of humanity and is bigger than one group’s manipulation.

For example, in my wheelhouse, I am the descendant of Irish immigrants who were potato farmers in Cork. The Potato Famine was discussed historically as just a blight. Bad luck. Not a big deal. Oh well. The crisis was met with such apathy that Irish clergyman Jonathan Swift, wrote “A Modest Proposal” to draw attention to the British attitude towards the Irish was not unlike the absurdity of his proposal.

But now, we know that this event can be classified as a genocide because the British colonized Ireland for centuries. There was enough food in Ireland until the British stole it and imported it out of their colony of Ireland. The “victors” affect history but their version is not the guaranteed final version forever. They inflict death and destruction but this will not stay in the shadows forever, the light is greater than the dark.

My point is that this summation, “The victors write history” is paltry.

So what started this ramble of historical bias?

A video essay about the history of the Goth aesthetic which had random political bias inserted as fact and a lack of nuance to the conclusions based on a clearly preconceived thesis where evidence was cherry-picked to fill out a video that wasn’t really about Goth style. It was about our Nov 5, 2024 election and unnecessarily put a lot of negativity out into the world instead of talking about the Goth aesthetic.

I believe it’s time that we as a society stop stirring up dissension and casual hate in the name of the political savior. These candidates never save anything. They try their best but they are just humans. Is it worth hating an entire group of people because they hold different views? Never.

No human is perfect, so how can human government create a perfect society? It’s a straw man.

I hope in time, the strong political biases I see swaying storytelling in my culture will sour. Instead, I hope an appetite for deep discussion to understand each side of the coin will spring forth. For truth, for the sake of truth, warts and all. For deeper connection. To understand what people believe and why they believe, with mutual respect, and respect for the biases we hold so that we don’t let our biases keep us from true understanding and continue to fertilize this culture of casual hate I am seeing in 2024.

I hope this post is not too convoluted. I wanted to discuss this without saying what creator I am referring to because it is not them I want to critique but the fallacy they have fallen under and the way they are approaching history, politics, and interpretation of these things without the awareness of their personal bias. It’s creating foolish and unuseful content that reads more as pop press propaganda than well-researched discussion, which is what I think they excel at doing. I believe they are amazing and I want to see their talent shine once again!

Bias is such a difficult thing to wrestle with and I acknowledge that no matter how I tried to check mine at the door, it still persists. I try to hold it loosely and pursue the truth, but I am an imperfect human. 

Thank you, reader, for being here and I hope this was an interesting ramble if nothing else. If I have offended you, I humbly ask for your grace and willingness to love others – enemy or friend, because that is how we will make this world a better place.

#65 – Mario Party Jamboree, Bunny Adoption Prep, and Potatoes

My new favorite way to cook potatoes is by opening a jar of our pressure-canned potatoes and being far ahead in the potato cooking process! I didn’t grow up canning, as I’ve mentioned before in previous posts, so I didn’t know the joy of not having to peel and boil potatoes because you did it beforehand. This was our second time pressure canning potatoes, we did this back in 2023 and put up a year’s worth of potatoes in an evening, not bad a trade-off for several hours of work.

Hot Po-tah-toe, Hot Po-tah-toe

This time we processed 30 lbs and dedicated an entire day to peeling, parboiling, packing, and pressure canning – it was a ton of work but was rewarding. The kitchen in the house made it a lot easier to work in, which is funny because there isn’t that much counter space in our current kitchen. We’ve had to get creative like adding two tables along the wall with the fridge, because the room was pretty empty when we purchased it, and it is a galley style like the kitchen in the previous house we were renting, and yet it felt luxurious which is great!

The addition of our grill to cook meals on while the stove top was in use sterilizing jars and pressure canning was a game changer! No ordering takeout needed or feeling stressed by the clean-up in a hangry state. I think that was the best part! I also liked how we batched the potatoes into two groups of 15 lbs. This provided a rhythm to the process. We processed the 15 lbs of potatoes and then ate lunch while they were in the pressure canner, and then repeated the steps after lunch, then we made pizza in the evening while the last batch was processing.

It gave us 21 jars, I believe, of potatoes that will be a great asset to our pantry. I’m grateful we were able to do this without any mishaps. Each time we do a food preservation project I feel less like a fish out of water. It’s starting to become a tradition in my life, instead of an alien practice that scares me.

Let’s Jamboree, Buddy!

Mario Party Jamboree came on October 17, it’s the third installment of the game for the Nintendo Switch, although there are many more versions of this game from previous systems that I would love to play if I had a chance. This one caught our eye for the innovative boards, the vast amount of playable characters, and the new twist of the Jamboree Buddy. A character that appears on the board and will be your ally for a stretch of turns.

We’ve played four of the seven boards so far – Mega Wiggler’s Tree Party, Rainbow Galleria, Goomba Lagoon, and Roll’em Raceway – the most innovative of the four, in my opinion. Roll’em Raceway combines features of Mario Kart – a track and racecar, with the board game style of Mario Party. It’s fun and irritating because the track gives you a guaranteed stop at Boo.

Goomba Lagoon is a favorite of ours for the introduction of high tide and low tide, which changes the paths on the board. There are also ziplines and a volcano that can shoot coin-collecting or coin-stealing opportunities onto the board. I like the pirate vibes of this board!

Rainbow Galleria feels like we’re finally let loose in the Coconut Mall racetrack from Mario Kart, but instead of racing, there are multiple levels of stores in this mall with escalators and elevators to move between the levels. It puts the focus on shopping which is unique, there is also a stamp rally attached to the board. I like these features and despite its difficulty rating of 4/5 stars, I think it was one of the most approachable of the new boards.

The final board we have played so far is Mega Wiggler’s Tree Party which feels like the perfect land for the Great British Bakeoff Tent to be! It’s a cutesy cottage-core board with mega wiggler, shy guy tea parties, goombas making pancakes, and more! I like the “normal” format of this board. It’s a classic, like Woody Woods.

My favorite new characters are Spike, Toadette, Toad, and the Goomba. My opinion of the Jamboree Buddy feature is mixed, and I think it depends on which option of ally spawns. They all have unique skills and the competition to earn their allyship is also different from character to character.

For me, it depends on how the individual game is going. If it is a game that is dragging on, I dread the notification that a player has reached the Jamboree Buddy. So far Wario and Donkey Kong have been the allies that I enjoy, Bowser Jr. and Mario have been the least interesting to me. Yoshi’s competition was dang difficult! I was not expecting his to be my least favorite to participate in. I love Yoshi. He’s my ult bias of the Mario franchise.

Operation Bun Bun Binkies

We applied to adopt a rabbit from our local rabbit rescue, the largest dedicated rabbit rescue in the North East. This amazing no-kill shelter is a gem for their work to save rabbits from abuse and neglect, to give them the place to heal and be ready for adoption, and their work in the community to show what makes rabbits such an amazing animal, won us over when we visited a few weeks ago. The rescue is named E.A.R.S. or Erie Area Rabbit Society (and Rescue).

We have been busy preparing for this next step, researching veterinarians, proper rabbit diet, and proper habitat guidelines to make our house a safe and welcoming environment for our new furry friend. It’s been a roller coaster for me as I don’t like change, but I know that we are ready for this step and want to give a deserving bunny a home. I’m hoping to share more about this process and E.A.R.S. as we continue to move forward.

Did you know that rabbits are the 3rd most popular pet after dogs and cats in the United States? They are also abandoned at an alarming rate, usually in the wild, and quickly die. This is because they are not wild animals, and have been bred to be pets not to survive in the wild. It’s estimated that 4 out of 5 rabbits bought at Easter are abandoned.

They are also bought as “starter” pets that are dumped when people lose interest. They are bred as a way to make a quick buck and are kept in inhumane conditions, it’s a growing problem that needs to be addressed in my home country. Not to mention the issue of animal testing, which uses rabbits as experiments for cosmetic development. Rabbits can’t speak for themselves and we need to speak for them. It’s something that God has really put on my heart. They are incredibly gentle, loving, social, and intelligent animals that we are misunderstanding. I’d like to be a part of changing that.

Landscape Painting with Yarn

This year I’ve been looking for ways to use my stash as completely as possible and use up what I have to make new fibers and new projects. One way I accomplished this was through color palette knitting and through the stripe hype sweater. But another project idea I had this summer was to try minimal colorwork knitting by “painting” with yarn through a mix of new cotton yarn I purchased and yarn extras my mom passed onto me. This helped stretch the teal cotton yarn I bought, underestimating how much I needed to make a t-shirt. It was an opportunity to make a “graphic print” t-shirt out of yarn, something I didn’t have in my wardrobe, but sounded like a fun piece to wear.

These are the yarns I decided to use for the landscape painting section of the garment. Cotton yarn that was originally purchased by my mom to create handknit dishcloths in a color selection of blue, green, and pooling gray-to-white-to-blue, a lime green cotton-bamboo yarn, and the teal cotton I purchased. The pooling yarn was perfect for the clouds. Each side of the garment is unique because of this pooling yarn like a real sky. The plain blue was used for water, the dark green for a marshy grown-up bank, and the lime green for sunkissed meadows of grass. The teal was used for a distant tree line that was framed by the clouds.

I opted to make this oversized with a short sleeve opening, somewhere between a vest and a t-shirt because I haven’t decided how I want to wear this. As a t-shirt of course but do I want this to be a layering piece in the cooler months of the year? Or do I want to make detachable sleeves? That is something I am still milling over in my mind. I did split the back of the piece in a moment of indecision, where I thought it would be cute to make it a short-sleeved button cardigan. I may do this in the future. I opted to keep the t-shirt structure for simplicity and the ability to wear it more quickly. I was impatient to wear it.

I love projects that utilize things I already own and use techniques I haven’t tried before. Since this project I’ve begun to learn proper colorwork knitting, it’s been fun. Thank goodness for YouTube and knitting books to make the complicated things, like learning how to switch colors, feel approachable!

How have you been expressing your creativity this week? Do you like getting crafty? Are you a knitter and have you tried colorwork knitting before?

#64 – Weather Changes and Shifting Projects

I find myself in an October slump which I discussed in a previous post. Last year I was much less productive with my writing goals in October than I wished, and its happening again! I’ve paused on sewing and have taken time to recharge, yet its still happening! I think I know why, the weather.

Since we were in Erie, my hometown has been having some pretty cool temps which has sent me into the knitting zone. I have been working on a cowl, some mittens, leg warmers, and reading up on how to make socks.

It’s been my trend for a while, I tend to focus on sewing fall/winter pieces in August and September to be prepared for the first cool days. Then in October when it drops and I get that first taste of cold hands or ears, I hurry to knit those cold-weather accessories. Like a light bulb goes off. It’s fun making things with the seasons too.

Stray Kids have been going insane with song releases so far this month too with two soundtrack releases for for the anime Tower of God and a third collaboration for Arcane on Netflix. Itzy and Ateez released new albums in October as well, plus Aespa’s upcoming release on the 21st, it’s been a distracting few weeks. Not to mention Mario Party Jamboree which I cannot wait to play tonight!

Currently, I’m dabbling in colorwork and its unlocking this whole world of possibilities for intricate storytelling across the canvas of wool.

I have a few knitting projects I excited to share that were the start of these colorwork projects. I just need to motivate myself to put down the needles and type.

Maybe I’ll do that now? Okay, I’ll meet you back here in a few. 🙂

World’s 3rd Best Sunsets

We were in Erie Apparel when my husband asked, what’s the story behind the shirts that say ‘World’s 3rd Best Sunsets’? The employee laughed and replied that a ranking system supposedly placed Presque Isle on the top of the list but couldn’t find the article to verify, so Erie decided to claim third. What a goofy and lovely idea. I’d have to say it is one of the best I’ve seen in person!


It was as good as any ocean sunset I’ve seen and I have watched them from Marco Island, FL, Tybee Island, GA, and Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way, this was the best. I think the only one I’ve seen that compares is a random winter sunset I saw in Erie in 2019 (from a Wegman’s parking lot).


We got to Presque Isle right as the sun descended into the horizon. The wind was whipping up from a small storm and the lake had breakers that sounded like any I’ve heard on the Atlantic Ocean. Here are some shots from the beach and the sky with its fearsome clouds blowing in.

Kyle and I had never planned to go watch a sunset before and it was worth it. It was one of those stereotypical romantic things that I’ve tried to pretend I’m too cool for. I’m not and it’s worth it to go do the touristy, basic things. They are classics for a reason.

Have you been to Presque Isle? Have you seen the Great Lakes? What is your favorite sunset spot?

Thank You for 100 Subscribers!

While I was on vacation up to Erie I received exciting news! I saw this blog has reached 100 subscribers! It made my day. I am so grateful to everyone who has subscribed. You guys are amazing! I appreciate every view, every visitor, every like. It’s given me purpose in a season of transition, helped me get back into writing, and drawing, and feel more comfortable sharing Potato Technology designs online. It has also been a rewarding way to connect with people worldwide which I find exciting.

I’m hoping in time to connect more, and maybe keep comments on my posts to get to know you more. I’m just shy and scared of getting hate comments when I want this to be a safe space. Maybe in 2025? I’ll keep trying to be brave.

I’m looking forward to sharing bits about my trip and some more sewing and knitting projects I’ve completed in September. September was a busy month! I think heading into October, I’ve needed a break. It was good to get away and refresh. I’ve been feeling a bit of writer’s block the past week so I took a small break from the blog too, hoping to have renewed my creativity!

Thank you, dear reader, for such an amazing milestone! I hope you have a wonderful day and that I see you around the blog again. There are many exciting things I have planned that I would love to share with you. I hope you know that you are loved and worthy just as you are.

Sewist Reacts: What In the Vintage Inspiration Is This?!

Fast fashion is a problem for many reasons. The overconsumption. The exploitation of workers. The lack of quality in construction and fabric. Polluting water sources and landfills. Ruining thrift stores with Shein products. But one I hadn’t considered was how these fast fashion brands are watering down design to the point that they are misrepresenting fashion terms like corset, choosing the wrong fabrics for construction, and not even trying to pattern match. It’s becoming nonsensical!

Fall fashion trends and fall sales are in full swing here in the US. I’m seeing ads everywhere, in between Instagram stories, in my email inbox, on YouTube, on television advertisements, etc. It’s bonkers! You would think that we had empty closets and had never owned cold-weather clothing before! Each season you need to completely restock your wardrobe! Buy, buy, buy!

So I caved and I started to look at these websites. Looked, not purchased. That is the key here because I found some wacky things masquerading as vintage and historical-inspired pieces of fashion. These fashion brands are two that are quite popular in my neck of the woods.

The Gap does Medieval Plate Armor

A brand I get a lot of ads from, which amuses me because I don’t like this brand, is the Gap. I probably see ads because I do buy occasionally from Old Navy and they are owned by the same company. If only the Gap knew how I feel about them, they would realize it is a lost cause. I think that the Gap cuts its patterns weirdly, is expensive for the quality, and is dry toast in terms of its aesthetic. So I wasn’t surprised to see a rather vanilla dress. What surprised me were the style lines of this dress and the fabric they chose.

This dress looks inspired by 16th-century plate armor, a breastplate specifically, but it is made out of what I would guess is a stretch jersey because there is no structure or fastenings in the photos. So a rigid garment, being made out of a stretch shapeless fabric, just isn’t right. There is something off about the shape of the bodice and how it hangs on the body. This is a missed opportunity. I think they could have added boning channels or made this out of a stiff woven fabric. Maybe a coordinating vest? Vests have come back in popularity. It’s a misrepresentation of the historical garment they were inspired by and as a dress historian, it bugs me. This dress is already an attempt at thinking outside the box, so why not do it properly and celebrate the design? 🙂

There is an exhibit at the Met, linked above showing a historical example of what I am talking about, featuring an exhibit of 16th-century armor with beautifully sculpted lines.

A Corset That is Not a Corset

This dress is not a corset. Maybe it is a Victoria’s Secret definition of a corset with the stretch smocking on the back, but this is not in form or function, what a corset is or was. The corset was a supportive undergarment, a foundation garment as they were called that shaped the body and supported the bust according to the specific standard of beauty at the time. The first iteration of the corset appeared in the 16th century, called a pair of bodies. This was followed by stays in the 17th and 18th centuries and the transition to the corset in the 19th century which held popularity until the 1920s when the corset began to fall out of fashion for other types of garments. This is a very quick overview and I probably oversimplified this so I would recommend checking out historical costuming YouTube for a better reference, also the V&A has an online exhibit featuring Victorian corsetry.

Because of the lack of familiarity, we have with the corset in our 21st-century mind, we tend to slap the word corset on any shape that looks like a formed bodice, which is what this is a bodice cut to accentuate the waist but will fall flat because it is not made with any structure to give the garment a shape. There is no lacing, cording, fake baleen, or steel to give this any shape beyond the body that will wear it. It is all smoke and mirrors. But that bugs me, because American Eagle, the maker of this dress, is a popular teenage and young adult brand that can shape the minds of the future by their experience with clothing!

So why not ride this wave of aesthetic TikTok dressing and go full-on corsetry? Tight lacing is not required, nor was it popular for most women historically, except for the Kim Kardashians of antiquity who did it for the spectacle, people of the past needed to move and breathe just like us so it could be a corseted bodice, and not be controversial! It’s just a thought. I do appreciate the trim on the skirt, it is very 1890s, and I like it.

This dress has the same problem, this is not a corset and this is barely a puff sleeve. This is bad marketing and bad fashion education. You could never corset an open-back dress and to puff a sleeve you need quite a lot of volume and possibly some Tarleton to help keep the sleeves voluminous. The Fashion Institute of Technology has an online exhibit featuring the Gigot sleeve, a beautifully puffed historical design.

When it comes to historical dress there are so many cool designs from the past, and with the amount of research that exists and abilities to connect through technology, there are endless ways to be inspired from the past but not screw it up. I think we should embrace the gift we have of historical dress knowledge and technology like sewing machines, the internet, etc to make something beautiful. These companies have so many resources at their disposal, that I wish they would try a bit harder to make good clothing. But alas, they are fast fashion, and this is one of the worst fast fashion blunders I have seen from these two brands, the Gap and American Eagle until I found this one pair of plaid pants, but that is another story!

Thank you, reader, for going on this adventure into historical dress with me. If you are as tired as I am of the current state of fashion, I encourage you to learn how to sew! It’s the best hack I’ve found.

Slow It Down, Make It Bouncy

I think the only thing bouncy here is me feeling like I’m bouncing off the walls of my creative box after setting a goal in 2024. This goal was to get serious about my sewing and knitting Instagram account, use the creator metric tools, and learn how to use my digital marketing background to create engagement.

The Focus

I wanted a lifestyle change, an actual commitment to taking this seriously and it has worked. Follower count is a garbage stat on Instagram as mine hops around like a binkying rabbit, but engagement, interactions, and reach have been insightful tools to see how this can grow and what I should be working towards.

Now that it is Q4, um, I am creatively burnt out. So many reels, so much video recording, so many moments having to stare at my own face and body because I am the model, and try not to get body dysmorphia or feel self-absorbed. Yikes it messes with the head. The way some pieces of content have huge runs of traffic and some fall flat must be what it feels like to find the crab and miss the crab on the same string of pots. It’s wild.

My Internal Monologue

I spend time tracking and comparing one piece of content against another one that performed better on a different day or was posted at the same hour, so why did it perform differently? Did I use the right tags? How do I capture the same magic in a new piece of content? Should I use a formula for my pictures or videos? Oh no! Am I one note? How do I mix it up? Was that the right song? Should I create more content with trendy sounds? Was it my hair? Is it because I haven’t painted my sewing room yet? If I paint it a color I like will it perform better or worse? Should I paint it a sad beige? No that’s insane.

I miss the days of making content that didn’t feature my face, or my designs, and was not solely based on my own deadlines. But I hated that job?! Why do I miss the days of launching that Employee App or writing for an internal corporate magazine that was employee propaganda? I think its the artistic blues mixed with the echo chamber of the algorithim. When I get stuck in the metrics and the trends, I’ve noticed I have blinders to the things that are going well. Instead of appreciating any person who takes the time to watch my reels or like my posts, I refuse to let myself feel happiness.

It’s really unhealthy. It’s killing my mindset and keeping me from feeling inspired to create or to write. I’m just bottling it all up because I’m embarrassed of how this is getting to me. I feel silly. And because I am building something, and don’t feel like I have something to show for it, even though I do because it is on the internet. But how else in 2024 can you reach people in our world of technological disruption to our sense of community? So its not silly. It is work and can lead to something.

Wake Up

It’s time I creatively refresh and slow down. I’ve accomplished my goal of making it a habit and learning how to grow engagement. It’s time to shift gears. It’s October and I’ve barely written a piece of fiction or poetry. My artistic practice has slowed, my sketchbook gathering dust. What about Japanese, Korean, and the language of the piano? So dusty.

How about my goal to knit socks? It’d be nice to try at least one before 2025.

So as October, November, and December stretch out to the horizon, I’m looking forward to finishing this year strong and with renewed purpose. This blog is for all my hobbies; unfortunately, sewing is my coping mechanism. And when that landlord said we had to buy or get out, I went into a full-on sewing spiral.

It’s been a fun time. I’ve sewn so much more than I’ve even had the time to share on Instagram or the blog. It’s starting to get lost, all those moments, with haste instead of being shared with patience and proper love.

So I’m going to start. This afternoon I sat down and learned how to play the beginning of Für Elise. Tomorrow I hope to write and to feel free to create slowly. To be intentional with my time and pull my mind back into writing and the things I want to write about in my heart. Maybe some yoga thrown in there too.

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