Month: April 2023

Matthew 27 & Isaiah 25

This post is a little late, Resurrection Sunday was over two weeks ago, but hey, at least I made it before Pentecost so that’s a win right? Anyways, this year as we went into the week of remembrance of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Silent Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday my Bible reading coincided with a study of Isaiah.

If you’re unfamiliar with the book of Isaiah, it is a book from the Old Testament that contains prophecies about the coming Messiah, Jesus. During Jesus’ life and ministry, Isaiah is quoted 21 times, and referenced throughout the New Testament a total of 85 times. It is an important text! This is my second proper study of Isaiah, my first being when I read through the entire Bible, this time around I have been taking it slow, and meditating on the text. Letting the significance of the words steep in my mind.

Since watching The Chosen, the gospels have come alive. Dallas Jenkins and Angel Studios’ intentionality to portray scripture, adhering to the text and historical details bring the story to life. The Chosen has challenged me to approach my Bible studies not as just a familiar thing I do. With the text being known well so I tend to go into auto-pilot mode, which is a blessing to know scripture but as we know it can be a barrier to learning.

If you are wondering why I am not calling it Easter, Easter originates from a pagan fertility festival that was co-opted by the Catholic Church to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus by the Council of Nicea in 325 AD. In North America, I find it to be a weird holiday. I’ve celebrated Easter Sunday before with family that staunchly refuses to acknowledge Jesus and that gave me a different perspective on Easter. Now I do recognize the connection to Passover, and would much rather celebrate Passover leading into Resurrection Sunday, than a bunch of Spring symbols and bunnies, although I do love bunnies. But they are a distraction and this year, I desired as little distractions as possible.

The Chosen has challenged me to remember this is a real story, to understand that Jesus my redeemer and friend, sacrificed himself not just for me but for the whole world. It is the most incredible event in human history and for too long I have not recognized that. I have been distracted by North American culture downplaying it whether that is in the church or the spectacle that is the bombardment of advertising campaigns to make me dwell on Reese’s Eggs instead of death being defeated.

First and foremost the Bible is an account of real people and the work of the Almighty God who is still working now, so when it happened to be that I was reading Isaiah 25 on Good Friday, the same day I planned to re-read Matthew 27 to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, there was this incredible sense of purpose between this pairing that excited me because I knew it wasn’t fate, it was an opportunity for God to teach me more. And He did indeed. If you look at the text below in Isaiah 25: 7-9 you can see a key moment prophecies that would come to be in Matthew 27:45-54.

And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples,
    the veil that is spread over all nations.  He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
    for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day,
    Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
    This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
    let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

Isaiah 25:7-9

Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land  until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink.  But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.”

 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

Matthew 27: 45-54

The hope of death being swallowed up so the veil, or symbolic barrier in the Holy of Holies (in the Temple and Tabernacle) would no longer be needed. The veil or curtain marking the entrance to the Holy of Holies kept God’s presence separate from the people because of sin. God is righteous and just, because of this our sin separates us from the intimacy Adam and Eve had in the garden when they walked with God. But God desired this intimacy with us again, and we desire it too, and so through Jesus’ sacrifice for the sins of the world (past, present, and future) on the cross provided the ultimate sin offering to move us from the Old Covenant of the Law of Moses to the New Covenant in Christ Jesus where the curtain is no longer needed.

How cool is that?! And God planned this from the beginning. Isaiah spoke of this coming redemption before the exile even happened. From the beginning of the story in Genesis 3, God was already referencing the coming redemption:

I will put enmity between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
    and you shall bruise his heel.

Genesis 3:15 ESV

This Good Friday, I felt a deeper sense of sorrow than ever before reading the account of Jesus’ death. In the past year, I have desired to know Him, and have Him be my confidant, my friend. Because of The Chosen, as I have mentioned before, I can’t wait to see Jesus in person. I can’t wait to hug Him. With this great sorrow, there has been an even greater joy in knowing that even the idea of spending time with Jesus in Heaven is because of the sorrow. His death was necessary to swallow up death forever and resurrection was necessary to be able to rejoice in the salvation of our Redeemer. All in all, I have found more excitement in this season than I have before because I know how much it means. Thank you, Jesus!

Ancient Irish Calendar

An important part of the world I desired to create in my novel Udal Cuain was a sense of place. Since I chose to set my story in Early Medieval Ireland, also known as Viking Age Ireland, I strove to create a world that didn’t feel like our modern age but instead steeped in a culture unlike the modern North American one I know as familiar. A simple way I found to create this complete world was to research and incorporate the Ancient Irish calendar of months. The structure of this calendar looked a little something like this:

Geimhreadh (Winter)

Samhain (November), Nollaig (December), Eanair (January)

With Samhain celebrated the night between the last day of fall and winter, signifiying a new year.
Later on in Nollaig the Winter Solstice was celebrated.

Earrach (Spring)

Feabhra (February), Marta (March), Aibrean (April)

With the festival of Imbolc, for fertility and planting, celebrated at the start of Feabhra.
The Spring Equinox was recognized in Marta.

Samhradh (Summer)

Bealtaine (May), Meitheamh (June), Iuil (July)

With the festival of May Day being celebrated on the first day of Bealtaine.
Summer Solstice recognized during Meitheamh at New Grange

Fomhar (Fall/Harvest)

Lunasa (August), Mean Fomhair (September),
Deireadh Fomhair (October)

The Lunasa festival being celebrated at the start of the harvest.
At the end of Deireadh Fomhair, Samhain night signified the end of the year.

Already this calendar has a different rhythm than our own, with the months with each season divided one month earlier than we do now. It is a calendar that reflects the agricultural tempo of the ancient Irish society and helped the Viking Age world I was writing about feeling like it had structure. These months are unique, based on a lunar structure with names that correspond to what’s going on within the season compared to the Gregorian calendar, our modern system, which is mathematical and accounts for the passage of time the Earth takes to orbit the Sun. Understanding how and why we use things is important to consider when creating a new world or awakening an ancient world within a story.

The people who created this Irish calendar understood the passage of time in a different, yet similar way to what we understand it. We have religious and cultural festivals, recognize four seasons, and even celebrate Halloween to this day. So there is common ground, and you will find your own common ground in your projects if you choose to add a calendar to your fiction world-building!

Passage of Time

I provided source materials to bring this structure into the story in a natural way, there was a separate section devoted to this calendar like an appendix to a book. Because of how complex the Gaelic language is, having the visible calendar to reference with the names corresponding with their meaning helped me keep it straight as I wrote and added a nice layer to the story, a touch point the characters could reference naturally in dialogue yet the reader could have the knowledge to understand the meaning behind these sometimes foreign words. I enjoy little details like that.

I think it’s why I enjoy Harry Potter, Avatar the Last Airbender, Star Wars, etc. I like to lose myself in a story and wander far into the world, a calendar is that little extra punch that pulls me in even more to a time and place. So when I was writing a character I fancied the idea of being able to think about that character’s understanding of time.

  • What were they looking forward to?
  • What would signify change or normalcy in that character’s life?
  • How could I take the research of Viking Age Ireland and synthesize it into a story that would feel tangible?

I came back to the passage of time and by illustrating that in the story with these seasons, sprinkling little details of the season, the weather, the natural processes that come with winter, planting, harvest, summer sunshine, and all the ways we as humans make sense of that.

Cultural Significance

Holidays and festivals are key to our lives, and so were they for the historical world I was reimagining. They are connection points for characters. Opportunities to naturally move the story forward with action sequences, unexpected plot twists, or just an excuse to bring all your characters together in one scene that is plausible. It provides a way to understand the world from different perspectives and how these characters view their customs and cultures. Generationally, characters may see these moments differently. Introverts and extroverts will experience the spectacle and parties in their own fashion.

With Udal Cuain, Samhain played a big role in framing the year because of how culturally significant this festival was to Ancient Irish culture. They literally believed the separation between the living and dead grew thin on this night, if their deities were not pleased bad spirits would come to harm and the world may cease to exist the next day. It was not just a night of spooky characters, it was a serious event, and as humans, it explores our own feelings of fragility in the greater universe. Mortals versus immortal forces. This is a fantastic source of natural tension in a story, and as the dead could come back to visit their loved ones it brought a source of mystery to the story.

Two main characters, former Chieftain Conn, and Princess of Inis Aran, Caoimhe were deceased by mysterious and suspicious means in Udal Cuain, but one Samhain they each came back, one to haunt and one to heal. It was a blast to write and I highly recommend playing around with a structure like this in your own unique way.

I hope this dive back into the world of Udal Cuain and the research I did to create this novel, serves to inspire you. Even as I write this, I feel an itch to get back into fiction writing. It is such a challenging yet rewarding art form, and so necessary to our human hearts. Stories make us who we are. Dear reader, thanks for taking time with me today. I wish you all the best.

#19 – Canning, No Reservations, Gratitude

We had a busy weekend, many canning projects to preserve, and some errands to run. The usual weekend things. I’ve noticed the more hobbies my husband and I take on, the happier we are because there is just something enticing to us about going to bed worn out from the hard work with a smile of accomplishment on our faces. I’ve started to keep a journal of our weekends, how we did the projects, and little details that happened – like little silly things that make me smile or how we put the recipes together. Having that little record of these weekends that otherwise could be a blur of repetition and hard work makes all these moments spent with Kyle, sweeter.

Friday Sunshine

I want to remember those tiny drops of sunshine moments that make life a remarkable story. To slow down and think through those bits of joy sprinkled within the mundane and chaotic. On Friday after work, we stopped by our local Aldi to pick up potatoes and vegetables to preserve and the mushrooms we wanted were in stock and $0.99 a carton. The sun was warm, bright, and revealing the splendor of summer to come. We drove with the windows down listening to Babel by Mumford and Sons – a college throwback.

Moderngurlz posted a banger of a video about Chanel and I spent my late afternoon soaking in the sounds of nature while I wrapped up a panel of a sweater tank. In the golden hour, my next-door neighbor, a good friend texted me and I stopped by for a visit – I love those moments of fellowship and Kpop discussion. Her daughter had a fundraiser for her school and I had the opportunity to participate in what makes communities great – helping each other. That evening we watched round one of the Pro Bull Riding Tour in Everett, Washington. My favorite animal athlete Domino had a good out, and the Cowboys got a few qualified rides but mostly injuries.

Saturday Fluff

I started the day with the newest Bernadette Banner upload on corsetry and a bowl of fresh kiwi, scone, and dairy-free whipped cream. On Saturday, the weather became a whole new season. It was the misty, cool gray of an Irish day. With rain jacket in tow, we went to Walmart which is not my favorite place on a Saturday – because it seems to be everyone’s favorite place on a Saturday – it was the most happening place in town. Despite the crowd, we met the nicest employee who helped us match some paint. Well we tried to match some paint and it didn’t go as planned but those moments of searching for the right color formula for the paint shade “Reindeer Fur” while discussing the quirks of horse hair plaster were a joy. Like watching an episode of Gilmore Girls, the small-town charm peaked.

My favorite place to run an errand is the Agway store. What is Agway? A local feed supply, pet, and garden store that dots the South Western Pennsylvania landscape. It has the garden things that you actually need and knowledgable people, it has the smells from hay, to fish food, to blood meal fertilizer – the funkiest garden smell. It also has bunnies and ferrets! I used to have a pet bunny, and my friend had a pet ferret, I love small furry creatures so this place gives me all the feels. I want to adopt another bunny, yet our current rental does not allow pets so for now I soak up the small moments of bunny cuteness at the Agway. This time did not disappoint! I got to hear the bun nibble on a small snack, flop on her bed and make some teeth purr chatter as she drifted off to a nice nap. I also got to pet a ferret! The employees regularly tend to any animals they have and so while the employee was playing with one of the ferrets she called me over to give the ferret some attention. It did try to bite me but it was still cute.

Later on, the day was a symphony of potato peels, random snacks, canning jars, and episodes of No Reservations. The Ozarks and Heartland episodes. Recently, Domino’s opened a store in my town, one of the only delivery places I can eat at since I have a dairy/beef intolerance. My food of choice is Mango Habanero Wings. Not having to cook was a delight but then our delivery driver showed up in a sweet street-style look with bright orange sneakers and a black and white camo coat. The fashion scene around here is pretty dull, so seeing anyone mix it up gives me a small delight. In the late hours of canning, we caught a live show on Sirius XM The Message from Blessing Offor. His music is uplifting and soulful. Highly recommend checking him out. With a cup of Chamomille tea in hand, the night ended with a Simple Living Alaska video. A great way to end a long day of hard work.

Sunday Steam

A dish I make a lot is Miso Soup, a dish you need a good broth to layer as the base. A pantry staple Kyle and I have wanted to learn is the art of crafting a layered, umami-bomb-style, broth. I’m happy to say, it turned out well! Adding another table to our canning setup made the difference, there was so much counter space this time. We spent the day chopping, stirring, and managing the steam emanating from the kitchen.

I leveled up in my piano lesson book to Unit Five. The short round of the PBR was theatrical to the end. I sewed my sweater tank together and began the final panel. We watched a mix of No Reservations and Hometown. I dreamed of wallpapering a future historical house like Erin and maybe visiting Africa one day, while taking in Anthony Bourdain’s travels through Namibia and Ghana. At the end of the day, I reveled in a bowl of noodles with fresh broth and tried to not think of The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova as we enjoyed the Romania episode of No Reservations. T’was a good weekend.

Potato Technology Spring/Summer 2023 Collection, Part One

L to R: I Dream of Fashion Polly Bustier, Chocolate Bunny Three Piece Set, Glitch Mode Herringbone Skirt, Wilson Plaid Midi Skirt, 254 4th Street Blouse, White Rabbit Tank, Peach Perfect Drawstring Shorts, Engarde Cardigan, Pleated Chambray Tank, Red Currant Blouse and Skirt, Grayscale Summer Kilt, The Mirage Reversible Knit Top & Skirt (4 combinations), Digital Snake Print Dress

Knitting Tests My Patience

It’s the start of a new project. I select my needle gauge and yarn ball. The time to cast on is here. Time to begin the endless loops of yarn twisting around the knitting needles. Let’s make something out of a static strand.

Knitting as a creative process for me has been something akin to ‘The Curse of Oak Island’. Are they ever going to find the treasure? Am I ever going to be good at this? I know what I want to accomplish. I can see the project in my mind and then it’s a blur. It’s like the stitches take the lead and maniac style they wreak havoc.

When the stitches take the lead, things go awry, why am I wasting my time? It’s been a creative tragedy in the Greek theatrical sense of the word, a project unraveled by Act Three. So, why do I keep trying? I want to succeed like all these other knitters I see on Pinterest and Instagram. They make such cute designs. Knitting your own piece is a lot cheaper. It’s rewarding to see your handiwork not just make the design of the garment but the actual fabric! As a seamstress and creative person, I want to climb this mountain no matter how long it takes so that I can finally taste sweet success.

Accepting Trial and Error

It’s weird, knitting has been the most frustrating yet fascinating hobby because, unlike sewing, you begin with nothing. It’s a ball of yarn and two sticks, that come together to create shapes based on how you loop the yarn, stitch after stitch. Negative space to positive.

The tantalizing simplicity of knitting sucks me every time, and yet in three years of trying, and countless attempts, I’ve made one garment that I like. One garment came out the way I pictured in my head. That’s a terrible conversion rate if you think about that in terms of football. What would be the point in continuing unless you love playing the game. Because at its core, knitting is an investment in time. If you want to make a project of size and use, like a sweater, it’s a multiple-month commitment if you’re a quick and capable knitter. It is a slow process. Like painstakingly slow for me at times, and repetitive.

Patience is not my strong suit, and so knitting has challenged me. It has frustrated me to my core when I have dropped a stitch and I have to frog (unwind) row after row of work. Hours of progress dissolved from my project in a minute, only to remain in my memory. But when you get it right, as what happens in life when you accomplish a goal you’ve had for a long time, the victory is sweet. Completing a panel of a sweater or a hat without failure, and the project removed from the needles looks like what you imagined in your head – well that is euphoria!

Because of how tricky executing a knitwear project has been for me I get excited even when it sucks. Like this experimental tank I made in 2021.

It’s weird and avant-garde. My lack of understanding of how knitwear stretches and shapes based on needle gauge caused some rolling issues. The tank was not what I expected but also not a disaster. It’s weird being pleased with your own mediocrity. I think that is what is so interesting about this skill-acquiring process. It’s student work, but it’s your student work so there is a sense of pride. I made this thing and it doesn’t fall apart! It also looks like a crop top – woohoo! There’s an accomplishment in finishing, like when you took a terrible class in college and instead of dropping it and starting over you grind for the credits. I guess it is character-building!

Experimental Success

It hasn’t all been for naught, I would say it is Yarn – 10, Magz – 7. That’s a decent record. It’s cool to look back at things I’ve learned along the way like this Steeple stitch and see that yes, I am getting better. I love the texture of this piece and hope to remake it someday with the proper sizing and needle gauge. Below there is a ribbed hat with pom-pom, a striped scarf, a rugby stripe hat and matching scarf (not pictured), and a Flying Geese Stitch cardigan coat. It hasn’t been a waste of time even though knitting has made me very frustrated. It’s a nice skill to have.

#18 – Mandalorian Mindset

*Hello there, the following post contains spoilers.*

I was reminded of something this week as I watched the latest episode of The Mandalorian: how life changes. And how those changes shape our current circumstances and then affect how we consume stories. It will then affect why we return to the table to consume the food of the story, how often we return, and why we need the thrill of the escape. It changes how we experience the taste of the tale. But over time our palettes change and our appetites lead us to crave different plots. This I forgot. 

I enjoyed the rogue direction of the third season. I know that is not a popular opinion, but watch the Clone Wars series and then you will see the value of this season. The Clone Wars animated series showcases Mandalore as it was, and Bo-Katan Kriese as she was before the purge. It makes a complete song out of little melodies of Mandalore sprinkled in the Star Wars universe. So with that in mind, I came to the table of Season 3, Episode 7 expecting one thing and left the table with indigestion ready to flip the table and walk away.

Because I was looking for something not really found in the Star Wars universe – hope and happiness. 

It is not a cozy world and that used to be part of the Star Wars adventure for me. It was a rush to watch the epic struggle between the empire and the rebels, yet after a devastating 2020 and a dangerous beginning to 2021, I experienced a lot of personal adventure and personal loss. I felt a bit like I landed on the wrong side of the battle and lost my sure footing. I have been looking for more wins in what media I consume to escape the reality of life. Simply put, my appetite has been craving cozy and comforting. Stories where good triumphs over evil. Because let’s be honest, after seeing what Russia has done in Ukraine and China in Hong Kong, do we really need more reminders of what the Empire-like structures are capable of? But that is not what Stars Wars is about, I was making it about me and what I want, and I the viewer forgot what cuisine I signed up for. 

As a highly sensitive person, I take in the emotion of whatever environment I’m in. I absorb the world like a sponge. This has good and bad connotations. I will empathize with your victories and will feel distraught by the pain of losses. With this in mind, watching the final scenes of “The Spies” was quite a lot for me. I was stuck where I sat and felt the wave of loss wash over me like it was happening in real life. I was so absorbed in the story I was reminded of times I have lost someone unjustly, the times my dad felt ripped from my life and I cried as the final blows came from the Red Guards.

I forgot to watch gently and prepare myself for the Star Wars formula of disrupting families, and the balance of good and evil which means evil never really disappears. In comparison to my study of the Bible in the past few years, I’ve gotten used to and even comfortable remembering that evil never wins and death is defeated. That doesn’t jive with Star Wars. It’s like in the Clone Wars, getting so attached to Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan as a unit. Nothing lasts forever in the Star Wars universe, and so the good will be balanced with the bad. Revenge of the Sith does come and unity is replaced with division. 

What was so weird about this experience was that I realized how much I have changed and grown since I began watching The Mandalorian in 2020. In the break between December 2020 and March 2023, I became a different person and my life took a different shape. My wants for my life and my eyes for the world have been transformed by the Word of God and I found myself arguing in my head with the writers of The Mandalorian for their storytelling choices to continue the story arc of loss and suffering for these characters I truly love. But what I was arguing for in my head would not make the tale of Star Wars authentic anymore. It is the way it is for a reason.

But that is the point I was missing, it is a story and not real life, and the loss and suffering are not real. Because it is a story, it is teaching us something, communicating something. I think the key I was missing was that the characters of the Star Wars universe are fighters, they keep going when they are outnumbered.

They fight against the odds and choose to persevere when it doesn’t make sense to keep trying. That is a good thing.

We too easily give up on life when the hard things come. We are too easily discouraged by the fight ahead and do not show up with the heart to continue pressing on. I admire that kind of courage! I desire that kind of strength and perseverance. We are reminded by the story of Star Wars to never lose the rebel spirit and that is what makes the story so good. This is the way.

#17 – Bad Writing Habits

Do you ever struggle with bad habits when you create? I do. I have the tendency to write from a place of pain or darkness and think the pain will create better art. You know, that tortured artist thing that our cultures celebrate. I get stuck in such a trap of that. I try to follow and write what I know but then if I am going through a day that reminds me of former pain my mind will get bogged down in that creative darkness and make things that I don’t like.

Everything is Content

Today, for instance, I spent the morning writing an essay about Prince Zuko that should have worked and instead of writing clear, introspection on his character it became a deep and personal comparison to things I see in my own family dysfunction that are not in line with the vision I have for this blog. I was proud of the piece until I asked my husband to read over it, and I became so embarrassed of the thoughts I had on the page, the emotional tapestry I wove, and that got me thinking are we getting too comfortable with oversharing in our modern age?

Like, if I’m not comfortable discussing such a personal and painful topic with my husband, who is my best friend, why would I think that would be a good piece of writing to share on the internet? It’s bizarre how social media has rewired our brains to view not just pain as art but pain as content. Take for example the popularity of the “Storytime era” on Youtube, making this personal content brought in huge views for creators but exposed the private lives and relationships of these creators to the general public. I’ve seen follow-up videos from such creators where they express regret for revealing so much information and the consequences this had on their relationships.

Joy > Pain

A friend of mine challenged me to write from a place of joy instead of pain, and I think her words are more profound than I realized. I think we should celebrate joyful, uplifting content as much as we do emotional, heartbreaking content. Learning the art of creating from a healthy place is far more valuable than we give credit to.

But when I stop and think about it, in this broken world and its 24-hour news cycle, I find myself gravitating toward comforting things. So if I choose to seek out calming and uplifting stories, why should default to making content that I would not seek out? It doesn’t make sense. That’s probably why, it’s my bad habit. And why I am struggling to write fiction again.

Because it takes guts to move beyond the habits and the easy, clickbait-style content and make good, useful things that may not receive the same appreciation but are better for the world, in my opinion. That’s not to say I don’t think honest, truth-speaking writing is always going to be comfortable or uplifting, that’s nonsense. Some of the most important pieces of writing are not comfortable reads, they challenge us. What I am saying is, I think my bad habit holds me back from making better art with my words.

Lost Art of Thinking

Something I realized today after I trashed my draft and saw that I had lost hours of productivity, was that I didn’t lose time or productivity after all. I had written something great but placed the piece in the wrong category in my mind.

For me, I was writing a post that would be shared and would be a useful thing for this blog, but in actuality, it was a helpful piece of journaling for me to get my private thoughts out on the page. Journaling is the right application for those kinds of pieces, it is what I am comfortable with and in writing privately I am not wasting my time. I’m getting thoughts out on the page and clearing my mind for better things. It is refreshing my mind in a creative sense.

Not everything has to be made for a purpose bigger than making it. Not all thoughts have to be shared. Social media platforms encourage us to do that, even reward us, but that is not the whole truth. Sometimes taking the time to meditate and think will produce greater fruit than putting the original thought out on social media.

I can feel how the last ten years have shifted my brain to create differently because of social media, and I’m not sure if it is a good thing. I’m glad I gained the confidence to share at all on these platforms, but I don’t want to be so comfortable that I forget to slow down and consider the thing I am making. I want to make things that matter, regardless of how well they may or may not perform.

Dear reader, what do you think? Do you agree with my thoughts on my creative bad habit? Do you have any bad habits of your own? Thanks for spending time with me today. I wish you happy and healthy creating!

#16 – Florence, a True Friend

I was looking for an image on Unsplash, something that would represent such a special lady. We had such a short time together that I realized I didn’t have a photo with her. But I was thinking about what she taught me, what she loved, and I remembered a conversation we had a few years ago about the changing seasons. I love fall, from the sights of painted fiery leaves to the crisp air. I find it to be a spectacular beauty, but she said that fall has always made her sad since she was a little girl. Florence said something that stuck with me, “I don’t like fall because you are watching all the beautiful leaves and flowers die away. Spring has always been my favorite because everything comes back to life.” I hadn’t thought about that way before. Now, as she is gone and I see signs of spring everywhere I look, I feel the warmth of her friendship in the flowers that seem to pop up anywhere and everywhere. The birds that call and the trees that bud, it is beautiful.

She was my great aunt, two generations older than me, but someone that understood how my mind worked better than any relative ever had. She just got me. I got to know her as an adult after I moved back to the Greater Pittsburgh Area in 2021, not long after her husband passed away. She was my grandma’s younger sister, and I was drawn to her company after losing my mentor, my grandma. But what I discovered was a warm friendship, a safe harbor during a time that was a transition to life after death. Through her friendship, I learned how to be a good friend again. To make time for people and open up even if I was feeling low. She would remind me to give as much as I take, which has helped me be brave and seek out new friendships where in the past I would have been too shy to put myself out there.

Florence inspired me to not see the challenges in life as a roadblock but to make the best of the circumstances you have. She had a tenacity and a fierce spirit of adventure, at 80 years old planning a trip back to Ireland to see our relatives at the family farm. As a young adult, she took a solo trip to Europe, in a similar way I did the same when I was 17. She understood the desire to see the world and soak up the wonderful possibilities it had to offer. Florence understood my love to try new food, garden, make my own clothes, and be determined while still treating others with dignity and respect. She empathized with my concerns about starting a business, with the desire to simply give my garments to people who really need them instead of wanting to make a profit. Through her stories, I learned that sewing and food preservation are two skills that I have, that her mom also had. I felt such a connection to my ancestors through our talks, and now I know I am keeping traditions alive. She gifted me my first working sewing machine and set me up for success when I didn’t feel confident enough to take the leap.

I wish we had more time here on Earth, but I am glad to have made such a deep friendship in the time we did have. The lessons she taught me during our time together will bless my life for years to come. I hope to be like her and when I leave this Earth to have made a positive impact on those around me. To inspire love and zest for life in my friends and family. Thank you, dearest friend. You will be missed.

#15 – Pattern Drafting

The most intimidating part of sewing for me has been pattern drafting. Possessing the understanding to draft a pattern for a garment demonstrates the knowledge of how the pieces of the clothes we wear every day are put together, plus having the foresight to sketch out the shapes on the fabric in a 3D form. It’s a lot! But that is how clothing makers have designed and crafted pieces for most of fashion history. Before the paper pattern was made available in the mid-19th century, garment makers had to understand how to create these building blocks.

“All devotees of home sewing should know these two names: Madame Demorest and Ebenezer Butterick. Madame Demorest, wife of a successful New York merchant, was the first pattern maven. In the 1850s, she began selling tissue-paper patterns for home sewers via mail order advertisements in fashion periodicals such as the Ladies Gazette and Godey’s Lady’s Book. Initially, these patterns were ungraded, meaning that the seamstress had to enlarge or reduce the pattern to fit her figure. Garment elements such as sleeves, bodices and skirts were sold individually so that the sewer could create her own dress. In 1860, Madame Demorest began to sell her patterns through her own publication, called The Mirror of Fashion. Patterns were also sold via “Madame Demorest’s Magasins des Modes” shops, of which there were 300 national and international locations by the middle of the 1870s. By the late 1880s, Madame Demorest and her husband had sold their pattern empire and turned their interests to philanthropy. Though Madame Demorest may have been the first to sell tissue-paper patterns, Ebenezer Butterick was the first to sell graded patterns. According to Butterick’s corporate history, Butterick created graded patterns in response to a comment his wife made when sewing a garment for their son. “

Museum, F. (2009, August 4). Sewing patterns. FIDM Museum. https://fidmmuseum.org/2009/08/sewing-patterns.html

What I have challenged myself to do in my journey of sewing is to understand these building blocks to create my unique patterns and connect with the craft of it as a maker. I’m a nerdy person, I love digging into the story beneath what we do. That’s why majoring in History called to me even as my desire was to study fashion. I realized through the mentorship of a great professor that I could understand the motivation behind the garments and how people lived their lives in them which would provide a deeper understanding of fashion history. How cool is that? Since that point in my studies, I’ve craved a deeper connection to clothes. It became more than just an artistic exercise of sketching a design I had in my head, I wanted to understand why fabrics are the way that they are. How trends interacted with culture and history. And so as I was looking to go deeper in 2021, I consumed a lot of Bernadette Banner, Nicole Rudolph, Karolina Zebrowska, Morgan Donner, and Cathy Hay’s content. They dig into the meat of garment construction and silhouette in a way I wasn’t introduced to fashion design by Vogue or Harper’s Bazaar. In doing so I knew, yes paper patterns would be necessary to learn from, but I needed to learn how to draft the shapes in the old way to make things I couldn’t find in the pattern envelopes of Joann Fabrics or Mood’s Sewceity.

For example, the silk halter dress and black and white tank dresses were hand drafted from my own measurements, being draped and cut based on my own form. In comparison, the light blue summer suit above was made with the assistance of two paper patterns to understand the construction of a collared shirt and shorts, two pieces that are essential building blocks of a wardrobe. But after I used the pattern to understand how to shape a collar and cut lines of shorts it was time to go back to drafting what the garment would look like based on my own pattern pieces. Yes, the suit is quite messy and I’m not thrilled with the fit of how it came out. I realized the tailoring was goofy because I deferred too much to a standardized pattern shape and now if I re-made it I could draft the whole pattern by hand according to my own custom measurements.

That is why the learning process of pattern drafting has been such a rewarding quest, it has de-programmed my brain from the effect of standardized sizing and fast fashion. Those pre-made patterns while essential to learn, can’t fit everybody and every shape it’s not possible. My student garments have not been the most flattering or pretty to behold because I am learning the process of fitting, it’s been a slow burn but when it all comes together I can see how much clothing is actually made for an individual instead of a mass market is just so dang luxurious to wear. Even when it is not perfect I’ve felt the reward. The bigger reward though is that because it is a learning process, eventually the tailoring and my construction skill set will catch up to the ideas in my head and my clothes will turn out exactly how I picture them.

I think sometimes we underestimate the effect fast fashion is having on our minds in the way we relate to clothes. We are accepting uncomfortable, cheap-quality, synthetic fabric clothing that is made to be disposable. It is not supposed to be like that. Take this dress featured below, it is made from 100% cotton that I purchased for $4.00 a yard from a quilting fabric store. Because it was a natural material it held up to wear and washing and was breathable. It was such a comfortable fabric to wear in the summer and did not fall apart. The dress I made was drafted according to an older style of skirt, with 10 skirt panels that were tapered to the waist to make the skirt swish, as taught to me by Bernadette Banner’s videos. I then drafted the bodice using historical dress-making techniques from the Victorian era, as taught by Cathy Hay’s videos. This garment fits me better than my wedding dress. Hands down the best-tailored garment I’ve made according to traditional construction techniques! It took me four months to complete, as I was still learning how to sew and draft. It only cost me $16 dollars in fabric although it looked far more expensive when it was done. I guess my point is by sharing this is to share with you, reader, is to share how valuable it can be to learn the old techniques instead of deferring to technology. Let our knowledge and craftsmanship define our creations instead of a piece of technology, like AI. Not all of our modern ways know best. Fast fashion certainly doesn’t!

#14 – Blanket Dress

A satin hem. Rosalina of the Mario universe. A blanket that has been an heirloom for 50 years. Comfort at the final moments. These are ingredients that wove together my inspiration for this unusual dress design.

This was a project of perseverance. I initially wanted to make a long midi dress with a shirttail hem. It was supposed to have a button placket and straps instead of sleeves. The mockup was not pretty! I felt like a thick column of plaid, compared to the easy breezy girl walking the beach I had in my mind.

As a maker, what do you do when the pieces are already cut? There’s no going back. Especially if it is a self-drafted pattern, which it was. You have to sit with it and see the piece for what it has become. Accept that your choices led you to this destination and figure out how to keep moving forward. It’s just like life and how things that happen, good or bad, shape us into the people we are today.

Some days I feel like pattern pieces that don’t fit together, but other days those pieces I can see make something beautiful. It’s all about the perspective we see the world in. Mine comes from God’s word and so I know that God is working all things for the good of His Kingdom. (Romans 8:28)

Making the Best of Things

But how do I apply that to a failing project? I try to see each project as worthy of improvement. Instead of getting frustrated and quitting, I try to give the materials the respect to make the best possible garment out of what the fabric is providing. It was plaid, casual, and oh-so-cozy to the touch! Those are good qualities! So I tried it on again and tucked the skirt so that it hit around the knee- it looked pretty cute! I decided it was time I hacked it off. This part is always nerve-wracking but thankfully I cut it straight.

With the dress in two pieces, the bottom portion of the skirt no longer looked like a skirt. It featured that shirttail hem I mentioned before, which curved like a familiar shape. I realized if I turned them upside down they looked a lot like the curve of a sleeve! A lovely oversized bell sleeve that would insert easily into the already sewn shoulder straps. Perfect.

Looking whimsical already, and giving me Rosalina from Mario vibes, I went digging through my stash for a specific trim – satin blanket edge binding. Suddenly this uncertain design became a dress of nostalgia.

On my bed, since I was a little girl, I had a blanket with a satin edge binding. It was a blanket similar to my grandparents’ one on their bed through 52 years of marriage. When Papa was sick he had a small blanket with a satin blanket edge binding on his hospital bed. He kept it there through the isolation of lockdown. He gave it to me as he passed on, and it now lives in my trunk.

End of Project Wrap Up

This dress even in its upcycled state still had some fit issues that have kept me from wearing it like a closet staple, but this project reminded me that sometimes you got to make things that evoke emotions and memories. Things that make you happy! When I see that style of blanket on my bed I smile because it reminds me of the memories that have shaped me into the person I am today. I know that if they could see this dress my grandparents would be amused and that brightens my day.

In the future, I hope to re-make this dress with either a stretch fabric or a stretch cotton twill that will help with the shape. It slides off my shoulders so I may need to add a tie across the back, spanning the opening of my shoulder straps, or create a snap system that can attach to my undergarment. I think this dress could be fun in another print or maybe a solid. There are a lot of possibilities to explore!

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